I am Not a Piece Of Meat!

[msginaadoll]

Though I do like steak occasionally. Last night I went out to Gigis a local gay/lesbian club. A number of transgender folk also go there on Saturdays. Had an overall great evening, Ran into some friendly faces that I havent seen in a while which was so nice. When I go to the clubs I do tend to dress a little less conservatively than when I am usually out and about. Nothing to over the top or shocking mind you!
What I did notice last night though was a feeling that I was on display. I never had that intense of a feeling before. It is not an issue with the other cds of course, but more with some of the men. It just seemed there were more looks and somewhat creepy glances, or at least I felt that way. Also it seemed like more of the getting in my personal space, if you know what I mean. I have come to accept that being hit on, or looked at and judged was a part of going out to certain places. However it really hit me last night. It kind of made me feel a little uneasy and like I wanted to run back to my friends for shelter.
Heck I may have even been imagining things but it felt real. I dont have a problem with guys flirting or even being approached. It was just the feeling of being watched that made me uncomfortable. I know that some of it is my nerves I tend to be a little high strung person. And is probably something I need to work on. I dont drink so no alcohol to give me courage settle me down. I also realize that some guys come to the clubs to just watch and look- so maybe I will just have to get comfortable with that.

[Crissy Kay]

I am sorry to hear that Gina. Thats another downside to going out dressed I guess.

[Aprilrain]

Just remember that guys only pay attention to girls they find interesting. Anyway maybe they were envious. how many of us are out there that wish they had the courage to go out dressed. And last but not least guys like looking at girls I know I've spent an inordinate amount of time studying them! Maybe for different reasons though.

[Karren H]

Ya know what they say about women who dress "un-conservatively"?? That they are just asking for it... So I guess if you don't want the attention then you need to dress like your grandmother! Lol.

[MsJanessa]

dont know what you were wearing darling, but if was tight and sexy guys are going to look--they are built that way--if youre uncomfortable with it, next time dress frumpy and unsexy--but then it wouldn't be as fun would it?

[Nikki A.]

I'm not a looker by any means and dressed pretty conservative and I got hit on. You know the saying a 2 at 10 is a 10 at 2, but the thing with me it was only 11 but the other person was on a the 2 AM buzz already

[docrobbysherry]

Not that I'm experienced at this, Gina! But, when I look in my mirror and say, "Yuck", just before going out? I find that I'm INVISIBLE out there!

When I look in the mirror and say, "Oh yeah"! I EXPECT to get looked at! And, HAVEN'T been disappointed!

[ReineD]

I hear you! I've been to a few bars that have their fair share of these men, and I've never seen anyone be ogled the way a TG gets ogled by an admirer. It's downright lecherous! Just seeing the looks on their faces made me feel uncomfortable, and thankfully I wasn't even the one being ogled!

I've seen men stare at GGs, and done properly it can be flattering, but at least the men who stare have had the grace to keep from drooling. Why is it the admirers (that I've seen) seem so uncouth? I'm sure there are some nice admirers out there, but I just remember the row of lecherous creeps sitting at that bar staring down every TG that walked into the place. Like ghouls. Maybe some enjoyed the attention, but I'm guessing there were many like you who didn't like being stared at that way.

Anyway, you have my sympathy. Maybe there's a better place you could go to? Or maybe sit in a section where they don't congregate?

[Rachel Morley]

I've been to a few bars that have their fair share of these men, and I've never seen anyone be ogled the way a TG gets ogled by an admirer. It's downright lecherous! Just seeing the looks on their faces made me feel uncomfortable, and thankfully I wasn't even the one being ogled!
This is pretty much exactly what my wife said when she went to the Way Out Club in London with her TG friend Karen. Very lecherous is the way she described it. Made her feel very uncomfortable indeed.

[Annaliese2010]

When I go to the clubs I do tend to dress a little less conservatively than when I am usually out and about...What I did notice last night though was a feeling that I was on display... However it really hit me last night. It kind of made me feel a little uneasy and like I wanted to run back to my friends for shelter. Sounds to me like you were looking pretty hot, girlfriend. ;)

Aw.. I''m sorry you were made to feel uncomfortable hun. But also sorry I missed the..um..show? :battingeyelashes:

[msginaadoll]

I guess when I think about it, it is a weird thing to complain about! When I do go out I do try to look as attractive as I can. And Im not saying it is not nice to be noticed. I guess tending to be a shy person it can be hard dealing with attention especially that which feels a little strange. I guess the thing for me is to just hold my head up, smile a lot, and remember theres strength in numbers. Though I may consider dressing more conservatively in my mumu with my stretch jeans and a fright wig.

[renee k]

I hear you! I've been to a few bars that have their fair share of these men, and I've never seen anyone be ogled the way a TG gets ogled by an admirer. It's downright lecherous! Just seeing the looks on their faces made me feel uncomfortable, and thankfully I wasn't even the one being ogled!

I've seen men stare at GGs, and done properly it can be flattering, but at least the men who stare have had the grace to keep from drooling. Why is it the admirers (that I've seen) seem so uncouth? I'm sure there are some nice admirers out there, but I just remember the row of lecherous creeps sitting at that bar staring down every TG that walked into the place. Like ghouls. It's likely some enjoyed the attention, but I'm guessing there were many like you who didn't like being stared at that way.

Anyway, you have my sympathy. Maybe there's a better place you could go to? Or maybe sit in a section where they don't congregate?

Hi Gina,

What Reine described is kind of the SOP, (standard operating procedure) of most men who frequent GiGi's, if their not gay, and those girls who dress provactively will garner their attention. Which certainly you did not dress to gain attention. It's probably the voyeurisum that they seek. And those men that I've had conversations with, I've made it perfectly clear that, I'm not into that line of thinking. So to make a long store short, you have to ignore the the stares. It goes with the territory.

Renee

[Chickhe]

My wife would just say, now you know what it is like...I say, what a new perspective. Think about it, when you went out to a bar in your prime, did you look at the guys or the girls? You are meat. ;-)

[AKAMichelle]

now you know how women feel most of the time when they go to clubs, but then many times they are asking for the attention. But if they aren't they can't turn off the glances and unwanted attention

[erickka]

Hot looking girls = lots of stares. I see it almost everywhere. As long as you weren't harassed, you made out o.k. Michelle said it best in the post above.

[Monica93304]

I dress very unconservatively when I go out in the evenings. Why? I love the attention. I guess I'm trying to make up for the lost time during my 1st 37 years of being in the closet. People don't believe that I'm 40 years old. So I figure I'll try to get away with dressing as diva like as I can for as long as I can.

When a man begins to smother me, I just excuse myself and leave. Usually they get the hint. But if he's cute, I give him the time of day. If I have to put up with this being a girl, I'm all for it.

[Aprilrain]

Not to burst your bubble but technically we are all pieces of meat!

[NathalieX66]

Occasionally, I run into a few tranny chasers, they usually start with a few compliments, but if they persist, I just warn them off.

However, I'm a sucker for free drinks. :D

[TiffanyTgirl]

Well, you are attractive so it comes with the territory. I am sure you were safe. But I can see it could be unsettling. If people are overly curious, sometimes they stare too much and don't realize it. Also, maybe they didn't know just how enamoured they would be looking at someone who is a cd and very passable.

[JeanneF]

This really is the same thing that GGs deal with every time they got out to the bars. Think about when you're been to a bar with your friends as a guy and were checking out the hot girls there. Same thing, you're just on the receiving end now and it's a little uncomfortable.

It's a shame you don't drink...usually walking over to a guy who's been staring at you for the last hour and striking up a conversation will result in a free drink. :D

[Gerrijerry]

if you go to a place where others are looking for a piece of meat what do you expect to happen.
How about just going to places where you mix with everyone and not that type of bars. I tried the bar scene a few times. I found that it was only for those who wanted to be treated as you were treated. Personally I find it offensive and don't go to that kind of place. Being a NYC girl and I do like a drink once in a while I will go to one of the big hotels like the marriott look out the window from my table at the city below and relax. knowing that no one will do exactly what you are complaining about. I go to shows and do all the things I would do when I was in male mode. Oh and I always have a great time.

[suchacutie]

Hmmm, so have none of you had to put up with this in drab? Don't we all get hit on, all the time? When I travel for business I usually eat at the bar since getting a table will take forever as a single. I don't get hit on every time, but enough to see it happening. If I'm in a place with a drag show the chances of getting stared at and hit on (in drab mode, still) goes up to the point where I know it's going to happen and just ignor it. Getting stared at is just part of being human, after all. If all they do is stare how can it be a problem. I don't acknowledge the stare and that usually keeps them at bay. If they ask I just say, "no thanks," and that usually takes care of it.

I think that being en femme makes us more nervous and a bit hyper...maybe even vulnerable...and it might serve to make the agressors more aggressive in response (Newtonian?). I wonder how many, "no thanks" delivered as our femme selves it takes to get used to this common behavior?

tina