Haunted by deceased relatives?

[JaytoJillian]

Okay, so I missed Halloween by a week or so. My mom died a few years ago before I really got into CDing. Mind you, there has been life-long interest on my part, but it was only in the summer of 2006 that I really became uh, um, "dedicated" to the lifestyle. At any rate, if my mom IS able to see what I've been up to from her afterlife, I usually think that her first sight of me en femme was a huge "ah-ha" moment in which she thought, "I knew there was something different/special about that one," LoL. I know for a fact that of the three kids, I was the favorite--I'm the youngest AND the only boy, after all.

However, in her latest bid to curtail my CDing, my SO told me that she was picking up the vibe that my dead mother's spirit was restless because of me being a crossdresser. Can you believe that sh*t? Of all the low down tactics--to claim that my mother who she met all of two times, and who knew the depth of my misery in this marriage--was speaking to her from the grave! OMG, I am at my wits end. Oh yeah, my SO also says that "knows" when I have crossdressed because of her psychic abilities--so far she's 0-10 in that department, LoL.

The thought of not seeing my child and pain that would come from being viciously outed are the only things that keep me around, but I am slowly losing my grip. Not looking for solutions, or recommendations, just needed a chance to vent in a safe place. Thinking seriously about coming out to my best friend who is the most open-minded guy I know. I just don't want him to think I'm strange. Ugh.

Cheers,



Jill

[Karren H]

That is really low, Jill. Sounds like.something my wife would come up with.. Lol.

[Maria in heels]

Jill...I am so so sorry that you are having to deal with this...I hope that everything works out for you. The thought of not seeing your child is horrible, and just because you cd, that is no reason that ANY judge will stop you at all...

[Miranda09]

Jillian, if your friend is as good a friend as you say, it won't matter. He'll be supportive (of course there may be a bit of ribbing, but that's what friends are for!) ;) Read my post on my experience about coming out to my closest male friend. As for your SO, she claims to be a psychic and she considers YOU the strange one?? Don't let her get under your skin. Vent all you want here!! :)

[kimmy p]

Vent away Hon. We'll all lend a virtual shoulder to you. I believe that psychics exist, but this sounds like the all time worst guilt trip ever expressed.

P.S. Strange isn't so bad, and normal is absolutely BORING! If he really is a friend he'll support you even if he doesn't agree/understand.

[aggi123]

If you come out to some loved ones, she won't have a weapon to use against you. I hope it works out!

[StacyCD]

If my mom ever knew of my crossdressing she never let on. If she had known before she passed away, I'm fairly certain she would be supportive of me but still find crossdressing somewhat unusual. My Dad on the other hand would have probably flipped out! If psychics really were psychic, lotteries wouldn't be making millions of dollars a day!

[Chickhe]

...maybe her spirit is taking over your body making you dress. haha Or it is your way of remembering her. As if we don't have enough challenges to overcome in our lives without someone close to us dreaming up something new to debate....gee wiz.

[Stephanie Miller]

:DWhy do people always have to do this stuff? If they want to use so called physic powers then use them for good. You know... tell me what coconut tree the treasure chest is buried under or even more important who's having the next big 50% off sale?

Really though, if your mom was trying to get ahold of you it would be in order to tell you that she loves you like all mothers love thier kids and she just wants to see you happy - HOWEVER YOUR DRESSED!

[Jenny Gurl]

Psychic Friends Network files for bankruptcy, I guess they didn't see that one coming. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_n13_v93/ai_20318897/

Since we will probably not have cloths in the next life, or a body for that matter, I doubt your mom cares what you wear here. If anything, there is unconditional love that is a little sad that someone she cares deeply about is being manipulated and by someone that claims to be psychic. I guess you could mess with your wife and tell her your mother visited you from the other world and said she really liked the beautiful clothing you were wearing and she wishes you would dress to the nines more often, you remind her of the daughter she had always wanted. Hey, mom asked me to do it, are you going to tell me not to do something that would come between my mothers happiness in the hereafter? I'm going shopping for a new dress after I stop off at the nail salon. :-)

[JaytoJillian]

Psychic Friends Network files for bankruptcy, I guess they didn't see that one coming. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_n13_v93/ai_20318897/

Since we will probably not have cloths in the next life, or a body for that matter, I doubt your mom cares what you wear here. If anything, there is unconditional love that is a little sad that someone she cares deeply about is being manipulated and by someone that claims to be psychic. I guess you could mess with your wife and tell her your mother visited you from the other world and said she really liked the beautiful clothing you were wearing and she wishes you would dress to the nines more often, you remind her of the daughter she had always wanted. Hey, mom asked me to do it, are you going to tell me not to do something that would come between my mothers happiness in the hereafter? I'm going shopping for a new dress after I stop off at the nail salon. :-)



I like the way you think, Jenny!

[shannonFL]

Jeesh, another concoction from the guilt-bomb making laboratory..........please jog my memory...we wanted to get married...why???

[7sisters]

Why not take this as a little nudge to see a lawyer and at least find out your chances of how much your wife can screw with you if you divorce/ separate.

[Tina B.]

Sorry to hear you are going though all of that with the wife, but as far as seeing your kids, my ex tried to use crossdressing against me in a child custody case over 40 years ago, The judge not only gave me every thing I asked for and even threw in a couple of bonuses my laywer told me not to ask for, because he thoiught the judge wouldn't go along with it. I would think judges are even better at balanceing all that crap now than they where back when a guy never felt he had a chance. Pick some other dead relative and tell your wife they have come across the divide to tell you you should cross dress and see how she likes that.
Tina B.

[Christina2008]

The spirit world can work in mysterious ways but always for the good of you. Winning the lottery isn’t always something that would help to improve our soul (being fixated on the material things in life too much, rather than making us work for success). It sure would be very nice though :)

I too have thought about being “seen” by those dear family members who have crossed over, but I think/believe that those in the spirit world would not be thinking anything other than complete love for us. If I wasn’t meant to dress I’m sure my life would be somehow directed/changed in some way to make it obvious that dressing is wrong for me.

I’m “going with the flow” in life and enjoying all the opportunities that present themselves. Sometimes I make wrong choices or bad things happen but I can look at the situation and see the positive side of that lesson learned.

[KarenCDFL]

Even though that was a very low blow from your SO, It was definitely a very creative shot!

[Nicole L.]

Mine knew, but we never got a chance to talk about it...She would have loved me no matter what..My dad may have been a different story, but I'd like to think he would've eventually accepted me...

[eluuzion]

Hey, look at the positive side. You can just throw away your bathroom scales and have your SO guess your weight!

That "people watching us from the "other side" or whatever you want to call it is a bit of a stretch for me. Do they watch you in the bathroom? Are they God's version of giving adults an imaginary friend? Is it just another version of avoiding our responsibility to manage our own lives? People get pretty creative when it comes to dodging responsibility for their own actions.

Hey, what was that? Did you hear that. I feel something breathing on the back of my neck. Oh, it's just my dad telling me to quit resting the sides of my 5" pumps on the floor when I am sitting at the computer. Hey, now he is telling me to go make some blueberry waffles. Alrighty then...father knows best...hehehe.

tell your SO that Halloween is over. It is just one night a year, unless you go to Mardi Gras.

you be good now...I'm watching you!

[JulieC]

You know what my response to this might be? "You know honey, that's interesting. Just the other day I felt I was channeling your dead grandfather, who said he was sorely disappointed his granddaughter turned out to be so manipulative, and willing to use blackmail against her husband. " :)

More seriously..

As others have suggested, come out to your friends and family. That takes her weapons away. She might still be able to affect your job, but if she does that she threatens to lose child support/spousal support from you in the process. Also, I don't know what country you are in, but the states you are not going to lose parental rights because you like to dress en femme. I'm sure the judge in any custody case would be very, very interested to hear that your dear, loving wife threatened blackmail against you.

The only power she has is the power you LET her have.

[Kate Simmons]

I have been in contact in the past with some of mine. When they get to that point they could care less if you CD or not. They are more concerned with watching over loved ones.:)