I Have Wonderful News I want to Share With All of You!

[Traci Elizabeth]

See Bottom of thread for an UPDATE!

I have been searching for a transgender friendly church in my area. I actually found two. The others more or less offered me a one-way ticket to ...well you know.

But TODAY, I went to one of these churches (alone) for the first time. From the moment I walked into the front doors, I was greeted and welcomed by people non-stop and all were extremely friendly and glad to see me.

Half way though the service, I had to stand-up in front of 250 to 300 people and tell them my name and how I discovered their church. Then they all applauded me. I was really taken back by my welcome and my eyes watered many times in that hour to hour and a half.

During a momentary stage change where the choir was putting on a special presentation, I very attractive middle-aged woman approached me from several pews in front of mine and leaned down into my ear and said, " Hi, I'm xxxx, and my partner and I would like to take you to lunch after the service. (yes, they were part of the LGBT community). I really would have like to have gone with them but instead, I asked for a rain check for maybe next Sunday (I actually wanted to pass this by my wife first and I had prior commitments anyway).

After the service, many people came up to talk to me and the woman and her partner who approached me earlier also talked to me and handed my her phone number to call her. A couple of men approached me as well which I found a little odd and did not spend much time talking to them. I hope I did not come off poorly to them.

I think I was very successful using my feminine voice and as much as I talked, I was surprised I did not get "horse."

As I was driving out of the parking lot, several ladies waved at me.

I was so moved and touched by all the acceptance, I could hardly contain myself.

I think I have found a "home!"


as a p.s.: I had worn a very pretty skirt with matching top and matching jacket with my open toe black high heels. Of course I had been extra vigilant in applying my make-up, painting my nails (the night before), and styling my hair.

I told my wife all that had transpired and she was very excited for me including the two woman wanting to have lunch with me. My wife knows I have no friends after transitioning and she is very supportive. After Thanksgiving weekend, she has agreed to come with me and give this church a try.


I am so happy, I hope I don't ever come down from my "high."



I won't be able to respond much as tomorrow is my check-up with my trans doctor and I will be gone all day.

[Sally24]

Very happy for you Traci. I hope you make new friends there!

[Faith_G]

I am so happy for you! Finding a community of faith that accepted me changed my life, I pray it will do the same for you.

May I ask which "brand" of church you found so welcoming? MCC's are usually good, and the UCC's that have completed the OnA program are excellent as well, but there are others including AWAB and Unitarian congregations who treat us like people.

[Karen564]

I just Love it when girls get all excited... :battingeyelashes:.lol

I'm so happy for you Traci & hope your high last forever!
Thanks for sharing your wonderful experience there...sounds like a Great Church to belong in...
:hugs:

[7sisters]

Congratulations.

[Maria in heels]

Traci...I can only imagine how satisfied and content you must be...sounds like you had a wonderful day, and such acceptance is wonderful, calming, and peaceful. It is good to just blend in, and the warmth that you describe is something that many look for, and never find - looks like you found it and will always know that the haven is available whenever you need it....

best,
Maria

[Freddy12]

I am also wondering about the denomination. Some Unitarian/Universalist Churches are welcoming tho the GLBT community.
Sounds like a wonderful church experience!

[Jenny Doolittle]

Traci,

That is all so wonderful, I can hear your excitement in every word you typed. It is always nice meeting people with an open mind and love in their hearts

[StaceyJane]

That is great news. Finding a church can be so important.
I've thought about visiting a MCC Church but the nearest one is about an hour away.

[Steph.TS]

wow congrats I hope I find a church like that close by...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

That is a wonderful story and I'm very happy for you!

[morgan51]

Its nice to have some spiritual healing in our lives congratulations! New friends are a bonus as well.

[Melody Moore]

Hi Traci, its great to hear that you finally found a church where you can belong. Im so happy for you :)

["Mary"]

That's great Traci. I'm happy for you. I hope my Church wasn't one of "the other two".

[Zenith]

Very, very, nice...:hugs:

[Teri Jean]

Traci this is so wonderful and I want to wish you and your wife the best.

[carhill2mn]

It is great to read about such happy occurrences! Thanks for sharing.

[tanyalynn51]

Im glad for you- Im going to be looking for one soon. An Mcc church will be my first visit, but there is a Unitarian Church nearby that is supposed to be LGBT friendly too.

[Traci Elizabeth]

I just got back from seeing my Transgender Doctor which I will talk about in another thread but this is the first opportunity I have had to respond to all of you.

Thank you so much for your well wishes. It does mean a lot to me. All of you gals, whether we always see eye-to-eye or not on issues, are special to me and have aided me in my transition in ways you will never know.

I am sorry I left out the name of the church in my hast to share my experience yesterday. But I was so excited I could not even think straight. I can tell you that I shall never forget that first day.

As some of you have guessed, it is a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship church.


When I was trying to find a church I either called them directly or sent them an email if they had one. What I wrote or stated was short and directly to the point. In fact, here it is:

"I am an older transsexual woman and am seeking a church that would welcome me. Does your church accept transgendered folks?

Warm regards,
Traci"

The Rev. at this responded quickly with, and I quote: "You betcha. We have two transgender members that I know of, but we may have others. We display the rainbow stickers on both our entrance doors to indicate we are welcoming to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folks. Check out our web site and call me on my cell if you have other questions. xxx.xxx.xxxx. Thank you for your interest in our congregation."

Well we traded emails over a sixth month period BEFORE I decided NOW! NOW, I only ask myself WHY I waited so long.

As I mentioned there were actually two churches that gave me a positive and welcoming responses. For those of you still looking the other one was an Episcopal church. And here was the response I got from them:

"Dear Traci,

It has never been the policy of this Church to turn away any person who is seeking to begin or continue their journey in Christ. As it says in our Mission Statement that appears in all of our printed materials, “St. xxxx is, above all, a welcoming, caring community. We are dedicated to worship, outreach, fellowship and growth in the service of Christ.”

I commend you for your courage in asking as I bemoan the need for someone to have even ask the question of the Church, the Body of Christ.

Peace,

Fr. xxx"


I have not tried them yet. I am going to continue on the path I chose Sunday.


After reading several of Faith's threads and comments about the MCC, I looked for one of those but there are none close to me.

I welcome any more questions.

[Stephanie Anne]

I am actually blown away that there are churches not blinded by obscure and archaic hatred and actually are open and helpful to the LGBT community. I think the internets definition for this is "mind blown"

[Hope]

I am actually blown away that there are churches not blinded by obscure and archaic hatred and actually are open and helpful to the LGBT community. I think the internets definition for this is "mind blown"

Well... as a card carrying member of the clergy... I can't help but believe that there is a term for that sort of pre-determined-yet-inaccurate set of beliefs - if only I could remember what it was... I feel as if I have had it's label applied to me so many times before...

Traci, I am glad that you found a place that you will be comfortable. From a theologians standpoint, the UU would be my last choice for anyone, but if you are happy there, you should certainly stay.

If any one is curious, the churches that DO have open policies on the national level (though every congregation varies in their adherence to national policies, so you should still have your head up) in roughly the order I would investigate them:

The Metropolitan Community Church - MCC - organized from the ground up as GLBT inclusive.

The Episcopal Church - ECUSA - They have a gay bishop and a lesbian bishop and take a lot of international heat for their pro GLBT stance - give them some love, particularly if you love great liturgical worship. I personally know scads of gay and lesbian ECUSA priests.

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America - ELCA - They recently adopted a resolution to ordain openly Gay and Lesbian pastors - with some caveats - I can't really say anything about their position on trans issues. Since the passing of the resolution the "gay issue" has been causing trouble but that appears to be cooling. I think the rule here is if you are in a metropolitan area, you can find good Lutherans, if you are in a rural area, WATCH OUT. I personally know several gay and lesbian ELCA pastors.

The United Church of Christ - The UCC - Not well known for their theology, or adherence to much of anything relating to the national organization. The national church is very open, but every congregation is VERY different from it's neighbor, and they have a very loose affiliation with the national organization.

The United Methodist Church - The UMC - again sketchy with the theology or the "method" and I don't know exactly what the national position is on trans issues, though I do know of at least one transgender pastor, though I don't think she is out to her congregation which could be an issue as well.

The Presbyterian church has an openly transexual pastor who transitioned in ... the 1980's? But my understanding is that they are not looking for another one.

The Unitarian Universalist. The UU. For the most part - GREAT people. They get a bad rap in theological circles, because to most theologians they don't seem to have any. It seems that literally anything goes - which is why they are able to be as free and open as they are. Good folks, very welcoming, a little light on the theology.

[Faith_G]

Just to add to Hope's excellent post:

The UCC denomination has a program called ONA (Open aNd Affirming) to certify that congregations are ready to accept and welcome GLBT spectrum folks. Churches that have completed it really are good places to go. Listing here: http://www.ucccoalition.org/programs/ona/who/list/#c102

See also the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (yes, Baptists!) http://www.wabaptists.org/

For an overview, see http://www.gaychurch.org/Find_a_Church/find_a_church.htm

[Hope]

And let me add to Faith's post that the Lutheran church has a similar system in place for congregations that wish to identify as open and accepting, though in the Lutheran church it is called "Reconciling in Christ."

The searchable database can be found here:

http://www.lcna.org/ric/ric-congregations-list

And it should be pointed out that there could be (I would be ARE) congregations that are open and accepting that are not on the list, though you can be assured that those that have bothered to be identified as RIC congregations certainly will be.