FTM and straight...

[Bart-Edge]

I'm FTM occasional CD'er...and straight.

I've always been straight...but always had a fondness for male attire, since i was a little girl, adoring school uniform because of its tie and jacket combo.

I purposefully 'borrow' my partners clothes which he doesn't mind, and...as an actor tend to opt for male roles so i can play a man for a night.

I recently discovered drag kings...but noticed that a good number are lesbians which got me wondering...

Are straight FTM's 'acceptable' on the crossdressing scene?

Please excuse my ignorance, but...i'm VERY new to this and am still learning.

[AllieSF]

You are very welcome to me. Now what other people like or do not, you will have to wait for their replies. On this site you will find total acceptance (I think), but others in your same situation may have different experiences in that big outside and very real world.

[Rachel Morley]

Are straight FTM's 'acceptable' on the crossdressing scene?
You're certainly acceptable in my world. In fact, I've always thought that there must be way, way more straight FTM Cders out there than there appear to be but that somehow they "get under wire" due to the fact that generally speaking it's more acceptable for a women to dress in a masculine style than visa versa. If you're describing yourself as a female version of a "garden variety male (straight) crossdresser" who mostly dresses on the weekend to feel special and different and uses it to tap into a side of themselves that they feel they can't openly express in their everyday life, then I think you will be in the minority, but that doesn't make you less welcome or accepted in our community. Welcome aboard! :)

[Bart-Edge]

I bounce between girly goth and smart dressed male. Its a kind of...where and when i can get away with it, kind of thing. Where i won't get grief.

As a girl, i am shy and hide alot...as a man,i'm a flirt and very forthcoming....its like locking part of me away and letting the other me...'Bart'--out

[Stephanie Anne]

I think you are great and I would be 'accepting' of you anytime. I think it is great to have more female crossdressers be open and out. Too much of this is often dominated by male crossdressers, trans women, etc that trans men and ftm crossdressers get pushed to the wayside.

[Bart-Edge]

Thank you Stephanie Anne

Btw, gorgeous lip colour in your avatar pic, really suits your skin. :)

[Faith_G]

Um, if you like guys, as an FTM guy that would make you gay... ;)

I know at least two gay FTM guys (I'm not the sort who asks for proof of orientation when I meet someone), so please know that you are not an oddball. :hugs:

[Bart-Edge]

I wondered if that made me gay...But when i realized i wanted to be a girl still...that i was straight,

When i was in my late teens, i always dressed in T-shirts, jeans, and men's trousers and wondered if i was a gay man in a girls body.

When i became sexually active, i realized I wanted to be a girl ...But...enjoyed dressing as a man too. Alot.

So, i'm not strictly FTM on a permanent basis, i don't plan on becoming a Transexual, i'm happy with who i am, but i just like dressing as a man...And i don't know anybody else who feels like this...so...I went around the net looking for places where i could feel comfortable.

And i found here, :)

Now i feel i can say all of this without getting 'the eyebrow' or being asked if there is something wrong with me. :)

I feel comfortable. :)

[AnonyMouse]

It's perfectly normal. Gender expression knows no sexual orientation (though it tends to correlate, but that's another matter). If someone doesn't accept you because of who you're attracted to, that makes them the weird one. Dress as you like and be awesome.

[7sisters]

life is short. Be happy.

[Areyan]

welcome to the forums... :)

[Andy66]

You are who you are, and that's all there is to it. Someone else's approval or disapproval won't change that.

[Poltergeist]

I'm a gay FtM... I don't think it's that unusual :-) The fact that I'm trans has nothing to do with what I'm attracted to.

[Gerrijerry]

It is wonderful to have you with us. Feel free to post and share that part of you as we all do here. I know we will all be accepting of you and I wish that everyone in the world could do the same.

[Bart-Edge]

Thank you all so much.

I'm trying to pluck up the courage to dress full male...but its hard.

[Andy66]

I'm trying to pluck up the courage to dress full male...but its hard.
Yes. Yes it is. And it's harder in some cities than others because of the mentality of the people there. You might dress male when you are in a more liberal city, if you travel. In the U.S. there are certain cities, usually the biggest ones, where crossdressers are more common and accepted/tolerated. I imagine it must be the same in the U.K.

Also you could slowly work your way up to dressing full male. Wear more androgynous clothes. Casual clothes such as t-shirts, jeans and sneakers are not as nice as dress clothes of course, but you can get away with it more easily.

[Bart-Edge]

Camden-London, Brighton, EWhitby, and probably Glasgow.

My city is very...anti-alternative sexuality/gender. Be straight or keep to the shadows is the kind of thing there.

There are a few gay bars...I might as my best friend if he might take me to one dressed as a male to see if i can pass....

Would that be alright, do you think?

[Andy66]

There are a few gay bars...I might as my best friend if he might take me to one dressed as a male to see if i can pass....

Would that be alright, do you think?
I think that could be really fun for you. In my experience, gay bars all have their own sets of "regulars" and atmosphere. One may seem sort of cliqueish, but the one down the street might be a lot of fun. In any case, I would expect to at least be treated decently in a gay bar... with the exception of the one resident drama queen that every bar seems to have. (Just ignore her.) :heehee:

[Seamus_Jameson]

My advice: don't "try" to pass, just find men you can hang out with and start copying their interactions. As your own style of masculinity develops, passing will start coming naturally.

Yeah, welcome to the forums! I am a FTM transsexual, but I also have a "headmate", I guess you'd call her, who enjoys crossdressing as a man, so I think I get where you are coming from. Don't feel pressured to accept anyone's stereotypes. You don't have to be a transsexual to have "male" feelings and behaviors. You don't have to be a lesbian or even an outspoken feminist to enjoy wearing men's clothing. Saying "I'm a girl who enjoys men's wear" or "I'm a girl who sometimes feels/acts like a man" doesn't make you weird. Women are great, enjoy being one! Explore your feelings and don't be ashamed to change your mind as you discover new stuff.

[Bart-Edge]

Being a girl with a man's mind set can be awesome from the point of view you can enjoy 'Video Games Night' by shooting the face off a zombie, or enjoy 'Male Humour'. And men's clothes are SOOOO comfortable. Seriously, i don't know why some guys wuss on about suits, they're great!

I really appreciate peoples advice on this. It's really helping.

[joanna marie]

I've always been straight...but always had a fondness for male attire, since i was a little girl, adoring school uniform because of its tie and jacket combo.

As a boy I had the same affinity except I was dreaming about wearing the plaid skirts and cute white blouse



Being a girl with a man's mind set can be awesome from the point of view you can enjoy 'Video Games Night' by shooting the face off a zombie, or enjoy 'Male Humour'. And men's clothes are SOOOO comfortable. Seriously, i don't know why some guys wuss on about suits, they're great!

I really appreciate peoples advice on this. It's really helping.

And we on the other side can't understand why women complain about dresses,heels and pantyhose.Its a strange world isn't it?

Welcome to the forum you will find it it a very safe accepting place

[Kelly DeWinter]

Being a girl with a man's mind set can be awesome from the point of view you can enjoy 'Video Games Night' by shooting the face off a zombie, or enjoy 'Male Humour'. And men's clothes are SOOOO comfortable. Seriously, i don't know why some guys wuss on about suits, they're great!

I really appreciate peoples advice on this. It's really helping.


LOL , What size are you ? I have about 20 suits I haven't worn in years !

[joanna marie]

Maybe we could start a suits for dresses exchange program

[Bart-Edge]

My size is actually changing. My doctor put me on a strict diet because i hit 18stone. But that's alright, more room for padding, right?

[Felix]

Hi Bart and welcome to the boards you are very welcome. I'm Felix and a post op transsexual male I am straight and although I come from a butch lesbian back ground and have been married in the heterosexual sense I have been full circle I guess and have fully realized that I am a heterosexual male. If I can help with anything just shout :) xx Felix

[Bart-Edge]

Thank you Felix, by the way, love the name Felix. :D

[Kid Flash]

Yay! Another FTM CDer! I knew there were more out there.

[Bart-Edge]

AWESOME.


What phase are you in...as in,are you part time, full time, with view to surgery?

[Felix]

Thanx Bart love ya name too it's cool :) xx Felix

[Kelly DeWinter]

18stone ? I'm confused

[MiraM]

18stone ? I'm confused

1 stone is equal to approx. 14 pounds

[Bart-Edge]

That's right, although, putting it into pounds makes it sound worse. XD

[Nicola70]

That's right, although, putting it into pounds makes it sound worse. XD

Hello Bart

IMHO, you should feel free to dress any which way you like. If others do not "approve" then sod 'em! Your true friends will always accept you no matter how you feel about yourself or choose to dress.

Life is indeed, quite fleeting; to spend your days in denial, worrying about other people's preconceived (and ridiculously outdated) notions as to who and what we should be based upon our biological sex will only cause you undue stress and anxiety, emotions that will have a negative impact on your sense of value and well-being.

Just be yourself and be happy!

Nicola

[Raychel]

Hello Bart

No matter if you like girls or boys, dress as a girl or a boy, You are certainly welcome here. Just enjoy your life and dress the way you feel best.

[metalguy639]

When i became sexually active, i realized I wanted to be a girl ...But...enjoyed dressing as a man too. Alot.

So, i'm not strictly FTM on a permanent basis, i don't plan on becoming a Transexual, i'm happy with who i am, but i just like dressing as a man...And i don't know anybody else who feels like this...so...I went around the net looking for places where i could feel comfortable.


Nothing is wrong with you :D That just makes you a cross dresser I would think, not an FTM. A FTM is a female to male transgendered person. So to be a FTM you would be considered transgendered not a cross dresser. ;) Welcome to the site!

[Danni Bear]

Nothing is wrong with you :D That just makes you a cross dresser I would think, not an FTM. A FTM is a female to male transgendered person. So to be a FTM you would be considered transgendered not a cross dresser. ;) Welcome to the site!

Metalguy,

I don't usually respond in the transmasculine forum. This is mainly for you guys. This is one of those exceptions. Being a crossdresser is transgender. Transgender covers all aspects of gender diversity from crossdressing through the post-op TS. f2m or m2f crossdressing is part of our family as transgender. Being transgender does not require that one feel or believe that they are a male in a female body or as a female in a male body.

Danni

[metalguy639]

Sorry but you are saying there is no difference, I personally believe there is a difference between cross dressers & FTM, MTF etc. Saying there is no difference makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm not just a cross dresser. I live as a man a cross dresser male or female would not LIVE as the opposite sex. Yes all are welcomed here and I have absolutely no problem with that at all, but I'm NOT a cross dresser. This is not something I just do to wear men's clothes. I've always been of the mind that a cross dresser is just someone who dresses in both men's & women's clothes when they feel they should or want to. IMO there is a difference between these things.

[Danni Bear]

Sorry but you are saying there is no difference, I personally believe there is a difference between cross dressers & FTM, MTF etc. Saying there is no difference makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm not just a cross dresser. I live as a man a cross dresser male or female would not LIVE as the opposite sex. Yes all are welcomed here and I have absolutely no problem with that at all, but I'm NOT a cross dresser. This is not something I just do to wear men's clothes. I've always been of the mind that a cross dresser is just someone who dresses in both men's & women's clothes when they feel they should or want to. IMO there is a difference between these things.


Metalguy,
In saying that there is no difference, i"m taking a position that a crossdresser is transgender. I did not say that there is no difference in someone who is 24/7 or transitioned as compared to someone who crossdresses. Just that all of us are transgendered. As you live as a man, I am a post-op m2f TS and my husband is a post-op f2m TS. Yes, there are degrees of being transgendered, still at the end of the day we are all still TG.

Danni

[metalguy639]

Ok. I never really thought of cross dressers as transgendered i always thought that it was MTF's & FTM's that were considered transgendered. But I think i got confused with transexual & transgendered. Geez there are WAY too many terms that can be used its confusing. Life is confusing enough when you are in the wrong body! LOL

[Ryan]

Ok, I'm really late in welcoming Bart...But hi Bart, lol!

Straight gay, ftm, crossdresser...who cares mate. ANYONE who likes to wear a suit and tie is always welcome in my book, lmao :D Some of you will know what I mean haha!

[tamarav]

You have to be kidding me! Of course you are welcome here. This site is for crossdressers, and all of us here are in the same little tiny boat. Your insight and guidance may be a big asset to this community.

I have the pleasure of having three FtM clients in the past and loved all three. Purely gentlemen in all respects.

You go boy!

[DanielMacBride]

REALLY late to this thread (as usual lol, but 2 months with no internet will do that!) - but welcome, Bart! :) There are a few FtM crossdressers here, so hopefully you will find some friendship and support - but as has already been said, pretty much anyone, whether crossdresser, transgender or transsexual, is welcome here :) I love suits and ties too (only have one suit because budget will not permit more at this point, but I have a large collection of ties and cufflinks :P) I look forward to seeing you post more and getting to know you :)

[ronniew]

Hi Bart! You are not alone! I also do not want to become physical male. I like having my female parts and also my "male" part *wink* I have no desire what so ever to become male. But I do enjoy dressing as a man, and can't wait to get full into CD FTM. My boyfriend does say I pull of being a butch lesbian well lol. I am pansexual though, so I am lesbian, gay, straight, and any other gender loving combination there is. So lets see, when I ware a dress I am lipstick lesbian, when I ware jeans I am bi, when I am packing I am gay, or is that when I ware a dress I am heterosexual, and when I ware jeans i am asexual, and when I am packing I am heterosexual? Wait.. now I am confused! I guess the point I am trying to make is that what ever your sexual orientation is has really nothing to do with the fact that you like to be somewhat masculine and want to CD.

Rachael and Stephanie, you are so right! We plain just FTM CD are few and far between and we do get pushed to the wayside. While I am so far having a wonderful time in these forums, most of the FTM are transitioning to becoming or have become a man. I was just telling Monica this afternoon that I feel envious of her and all the website for MTF CD'S there are out there, but few for FTM CD'S.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Ok. I never really thought of cross dressers as transgendered i always thought that it was MTF's & FTM's that were considered transgendered. But I think i got confused with transexual & transgendered. Geez there are WAY too many terms that can be used its confusing. Life is confusing enough when you are in the wrong body! LOL

Metal Guy;

You did'nt read the manual when you arrived here? Printed out the the manual weighs 34,684 pounds . The first Chapter is titled "Transgender Definition" is 89,876 pages alone.

[Pythos]

I am waaaaay late on this one. To be absolutely if my GF liked crossdressing as a male, AND she did not mind, or LIKED being with me enfem...I would be in heaven. I would not care one whit if she looked like a butch lesbian, or a dead on average dude. If she was cool about me wearing my stuff, and looking how I liked, then yes we would make a very odd couple, but definitely a fun one.

[Kid Flash]

AWESOME.


What phase are you in...as in,are you part time, full time, with view to surgery?

I've yet to crossdress in public due to lack of materials and money though I know it's something I'm going to pursue in the future. I have vague plans of crossdressing at the next anime convention but that seems like it's not going to happen. I'm not sure you mean with view to surgery.
Sorry for the late response by the way.

[metalguy639]

Metal Guy;

You did'nt read the manual when you arrived here? Printed out the the manual weighs 34,684 pounds . The first Chapter is titled "Transgender Definition" is 89,876 pages alone.

Yeah I never got the manual, pamplet, instruction book, nothing! Just the story of my life LOL

[Kelly DeWinter]

I've thought about this thread from time to time, 1-2 days a week I dress full enfem during the day (hair clothes the works), underdress or partial dress when i go out (jewelry,some makeup,clothes shoes) most evenings, nightgown or silky pj's, I think the longest i have dressed 24/7 is 3 weeks. I'm so all over the board. I wear basicly what I like, not what is expected. So I mix and match both male and female clothes. So where that puts me on the TG spectrum is anyones guess.

[FTM_Todd]

I always liked men's clothing even since I was about 5 years old. My parents didn't approve though so it wasn't untill I moved out that I started to show that side of me. I happen to be FTM though so anything mens is perfect for me. Welcome to the forums <3

[ashlylynn]

Well I had a nice long, well though out reply
but my login timed out and I lost it.

Short: I am very much like you, OP.
PM me if you wish.

[Sheren Kelly]

Welcome Bart!

I think its great to have a full spectrum of gender expression on this site. As to who or how you are or fit in... well, I suspect we are all unique and trying to fit into someone elses label is confining. You may have a foot in both genders so to speak, and that is just as valid as any. Be true to yourself and enjoy all that you have!

[James Kaon]

Hi Bart-Edge,

Alot of your questions sounded like you were unsure if what you felt like doing was ok - (am I right?). If so, answer is absolutely yes its alright to dress as one likes. I guess its just hard if as you say, a city/town seems pretty intolerant of people with anything remotely challenging to gender sexuality... I would just make sure you feel safe to do so and go for it. If you dont feel safe, bide your time and see how you feel. You are more than welcome here to express how you feel - I am MTF in my situation and hope that I can give as good an understanding of FTM as I can. I am sure I fall way off the mark but I hope additional acceptance helps.

Jx

[Danian]

Ok, about a year late on this thread, but happy to find it none-the-less. Like you Bart, I am a biological female, straight (but not narrow) and who crossdresses (though more on the occasional side rather than the full-time side). Since I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, I guess I'm lucky to be able to get my "guy on" more than some who are like us. To some I look either like a boy or a boi-dyke, but I'd really just like to pass when I'm out. I've been lucky enough to have been given the hungry eyes by some gay men and, when I was younger had been flirted with by women at parties when in drag. But within the last few years, I've very much questioned if I was really a gay man trapped in a female body. I'm still working things out on my end, but it is VERY comforting to know that there are other straight, genetic girl crossdressers like me. I was starting to feel like a rare mythical creature, as the vast majority of CD's are MtF. Feel free to chat me up sometime. I'd love to pick your brain and share my own experiences. :)

[mistunderstood]

I identify as FTM but I sometimes to feel like a gay man. There are different things I want from a male partner than from a woman partner. I thought when I came out I was a gay woman then a strait man now I consider myself a Bi curious. Go figure. Any ways you find all kinds on this forum.

[Eryn]

Are straight FTM's 'acceptable' on the crossdressing scene?

Please excuse my ignorance, but...i'm VERY new to this and am still learning.

Everyone here was "new" once, both to the site and to understanding their own situation!

The answer to your question is "Of course!" It'd be pretty hypocritical of me as a straight MTF CDer to be intolerant of a straight FTM CDer. The whole point of this site is to provide a comfortable environment for everyone.

Welcome!

Eryn

[Debglam]

Bart,

You are completely welcome here! This is a very open and accepting group for the most part. Look around, post, and make yourself at home!


Maybe we could start a suits for dresses exchange program

This is actually an interesting idea.

Debby

[Leo Lane]

Gay FtM guy here. It's not that rare, actually, though admittedly it is a fair bit rarer than being a straight FtM guy. On the other hand, the number of cis women who are into 'slash' and have, to a greater or lesser extent, a gay male fantasy life is BIG.

[DanielMacBride]

I had a conversation about the sexual orientation of FtMs and transfolk in general with an MtF friend just the other day, she made the generalisation that "most transfolk are bi" and I told her that in my experience among all the transfolk I know, that is definitely not the case. There are some who are bi, some who are straight and some who are gay (and others who might use a different label like pansexual or genderblind or something to describe their preferences), just like in the non-trans world, but there is no one preference that is more frequently seen than another (at least not in my experience). Sexuality and gender is such a diverse thing and can be expressed in so many different ways, I don't think there is any such thing as a "wrong" way to express it lol :) It's interesting to me that people make assumptions about what is or is not common among gender diverse folk of all shades when they really have no basis to make them, but I guess that's just human nature really! Then again my own perspective might be something to do with the fact that I have been literally every colour of the rainbow at some point lol - straight girl, bi girl, lesbian girl, straight guy, gay guy and now pansexual guy :P I know a lot of gay FtMs (could be the circles I move in lol, but being a gay FtM is quite common here at least), and they number almost as many as the straight or bi/pan FtMs I know :)

[Leo Lane]

It's interesting to me that people make assumptions about what is or is not common among gender diverse folk of all shades when they really have no basis to make them, but I guess that's just human nature really!

Yep, true enough. :)


I have been literally every colour of the rainbow at some point lol - straight girl, bi girl, lesbian girl, straight guy, gay guy and now pansexual guy :P

I think that's pretty great. :)

One thing that always gets me mad is when supposed experts on trans people say -- and they still are saying it -- that almost all FtMs are attracted exclusively to women. All they need to do is read these boards to see that that is not the case. There may (or may not) be a predominance of straight trans guys, but almost all of us they are not. It makes me think of Lou Sullivan being turned away from gender clinics because he was gay and the received wisdom was that trans men could not be gay or they weren't really trans. Sullivan wrote to Ray Blanchard telling him that gay trans men did exist. This was twenty years ago. As far as I can discover, Blanchard still doesn't get it.

[Badtranny]

Ok, about a year late on this thread, but happy to find it none-the-less. Like you Bart, I am a biological female, straight (but not narrow) and who crossdresses (though more on the occasional side rather than the full-time side). Since I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, I guess I'm lucky to be able to get my "guy on" more than some who are like us. To some I look either like a boy or a boi-dyke, but I'd really just like to pass when I'm out. I've been lucky enough to have been given the hungry eyes by some gay men and, when I was younger had been flirted with by women at parties when in drag. But within the last few years, I've very much questioned if I was really a gay man trapped in a female body. I'm still working things out on my end, but it is VERY comforting to know that there are other straight, genetic girl crossdressers like me. I was starting to feel like a rare mythical creature, as the vast majority of CD's are MtF. Feel free to chat me up sometime. I'd love to pick your brain and share my own experiences. :)

Yaaaay welcome to the board Danni!!!!!!

To everyone, Danni is the bomb diggity and a very close friend who I hardly ever get to hang out with so I'm very excited to see him on this forum.