Kissing Like a Woman? Advice Needed

[Aislinn]

Good morning everyone. I just joined the board today because I am in desperate need of advice. I am 32 years old and I have been crossdressing since I was 6. I've managed to keep it a secret all these years. However tomorrow I have my first "date" with a man :) I am not passable at all - I have hair on my legs and a men's haircut, but this wonderful man sees me as the woman that is inside me and wants to treat me like a woman no matter what my outside looks like. I already have picked out an outfit and I will be dressed completely as a woman.

I am equally nervous and excited because tomorrow will be the first that I will be kissed by a man. I have kissed girls many times, but I've never been the girl being kissed. I can't wait to experience that, but I don't really know how to kiss like a girl. How to be the receiver instead of the initiator.

Any girls out here have any advice as to how I can kiss like a woman?

[Kathi Lake]

I say don't worry about it so much and just do what feels right. Also, I doubt that he will be interested in a boatload of romance, if people's experiences on this board can be trusted. I say be safe and don't put yourself into a situation that you will regret.

Kathi

[Aislinn]

Thank you for your advice. I know once I'm dressed up and wtih him, that my instincts will probably take over and it will be okay. I'm just nervous. I've had butterflies all day. I know you're probably right about not getting a lot of romance, but I'm hoping I do. He said he wants to kiss and make out, so I'm hoping he means it. I've already promised him a happy ending, but I'm hoping he wants to kiss and make out also.

[Kathi Lake]

Aislinn, don't you know that a girl has to have a bit of mystery? If he knows that there is going to be a "happy ending" then he will want to skip all those boring chapters and get right to the conclusion.

By the way, I sure hope that there isn't a spouse or other person involved in this - on either side. What you're doing could have serious repercussions - and i don't just mean fewer butterflies.

Kathi

[Aislinn]

I never thought about a girl having mystery. I guess it's that I've kept this part of my hidden away for 32 years that I'm excited to find someone who accepts and I wanted him to know that I wasn't going to be a waste of his time. All I promised was touching, nothing more. And no, there aren't any other people involved. I'm recently divorced and he is older and widowed.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Aislinn,

One thing you can be absolutely sure of here is that this fellow doesn't have much kissing on his mind. Don't worry about the kissing. You will figure THAT out pretty quickly.

Now what I DO what you to worry about is your own personal safety. Be VERY sure that you will be safe. Meet in a public place like the dining area of a local mall, or maybe the post office. Make absolutely certain that a trusted friend knows where you are, where you are going (call her/him if you don't know beforehand), and when you are coming back.

If things get that far (and I'm sure they will if your new friend wants to "treat you like a lady") USE A CONDOM!!!! Just be safe, hon. We want you to come back and tell us all about it, OK?

Stephie

[Aislinn]

Stephie,

Thank you for the advice. We had already arranged to meet in a public place first (I'm not changing into women's clothes until we are inside his apartment), but I hadn't thought of letting a trusted friend know where I am going to be. I am definitely going to do that tonight.

As for the condom, there is nothing to worry about. I told him as soon as we first started seriously discussing meeting that if anything were to happen between us, we would be using condoms. One of the reasons I've agreed to meet with him is that he said he felt the same way.

I hope you're right about the kissing. I've always kissed as a guy and I'm worried about not letting him be the one doing the kissing. But, I'm sure you're right and that I will figure it out.

Thanks again for the advice :)

Aislinn

[ReineD]

Kissing is a wonderful, playful dance of mutual advance and retreat. :) If the chemistry is there, don't worry about whether you're kissing like a guy or a girl since this doesn't even come into it. Well, it never came into it for me. :)

But, if this is the first time ever you're meeting this guy, I wouldn't go too far with the kissing on the first date. How do you know that you'll have any chemistry?

If the sole reason for the meeting is sex, then as others have mentioned, the kissing part will be pretty low on his priority list.

Be safe!!!

[Kathi Lake]

Just be safe, hon. We want you to come back and tell us all about it, OK?Thanks Steph! I wanted to say it this bluntly, but held back. Aislin, just be sure you know what you're getting into, or vice-versa.

Kathi

[Aislinn]

Kissing is a wonderful, playful dance of mutual advance and retreat. :) If the chemistry is there, don't worry about whether you're kissing like a guy or a girl since this doesn't even come into it. Well, it never came into it for me. :)

But, if this is the first time ever you're meeting this guy, I wouldn't go too far with the kissing on the first date. How do you know that you'll have any chemistry?

If the sole reason for the meeting is sex, then as others have mentioned, the kissing part will be pretty low on his priority list.

Be safe!!!

I appreciate everyone's concern. He and I aren't meeting for sex. We have a lot of things planned that don't involve sex at all. He suffers from ED from heart medication, so sex really isn't an option. All I've promised him is that I would touch him, which is something I've wanted to do for years.

[Kate Simmons]

I never really thought that "gender" even came into kissing. As Reine brought out if you are lost in the moment and the chemistry is there, it doesn't matter much.:)

[Aislinn]

I do agree with the idea that gender doesn't come into kissing. I guess what I'm trying to say is that tomorrow is the first time that I will have been the "girl" on a date. No one has ever seen me as a girl before. I just nervous about that. I don't want to act like a guy in a dress, I want to act like a woman. He and I have talked a lot about kissing and I just want to be prepared.

[Kate Simmons]

Just be yourself my friend and you will be fine.:)

[Barbara Dugan]

I have never kiss a girl on my life, so I can't tell how a girl kiss on the other hand I have kiss a few princes and frogs and let me tell you is an experience truly electrifying just close your eyes and enjoy the moment:battingeyelashes:

[Charise52]

In general, men are more assertive, and women are more passive... I have kissed both... and i had a GG throw me down on the bed and plant a lip lock that I could not come up for air... so just follow your heart... from what you have said, you may have a potential for a real Love relationship... and as others have said be careful... I had two dates that did not seem right... and when they don't seem right... don't go...

[JOJO44]

I tend to not trust people, especially those I do not know.
Remember, talk is cheap; tied to this is someone that you do not know.
If anything gets a little fishy, it is far easier to apologize
for putting them on the ground when you are the one still standing.
Please don't be compromised by blind trust.

Have fun, but be careful.

Love,

Jo

[sometimes_miss]

I've had success a few times by asking girls to kiss me the way they wanted to be kissed. Basically, you're 're-active', instead of the initiator of the action. Just wait until he does whatever, and do your best to respond to that, being careful not to take over the 'lead'. Some guys like tongue in their mouth, some don't. Most will separate their lips then insert tongue, to what extent will vary among men ( info gained from listening to women discuss this). After listening carefully, I learned what they expected. I suppose CD'ers will do the same. Practice, practice, practice.