How far can you stretch before you snap?

[Kathi Lake]

Many of us have used the "rubber band" analogy before - we can't dress and be "ourselves" while time stretches and stretches us until, . . . snap! We do something silly, like a full makeover in guy mode (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?139718), entering a contest (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?139070) dressed as a woman, but using your guy name, or something equally dumb.

As many of you may know, we have been building a house. We put our original house on the market in February. Much of our "clutter" and extra stuff went into storage - including all of Kathi's clothes, makeup, enhancements, and the like. It was cold turkey time! Sure, Veronica warned me to leave some behind in a duffle bag or something, but did I listen? Noooo! Instead I acted like a guy (that'll teach me! :)) and thought I'd be fine with it. And I was - for a month or so.

Those of you that follow the housing market know that real estate these days is kinda, . . . sluggish. One month turned into two, which turned into four, which turned into eight. All this time, the rubber band got tighter and tighter. I tried to compensate. It seemed the longer I didn't dress, the thinner and more shaped my eyebrows got. I started removing more and more hair. I started using a lash growth product (I'm loving it! I can almost hear the air move when these puppies blink! :)). I even resorted to, as I said, getting a makeover and going out shopping in drab. Still, I knew that something was going to snap one day. And it did.

Our house was ready to move into two weeks ago. That meant that Kathi could come out of her self-imposed exile! Timing-wise, the perfect day approached - October 29th, the Friday before Halloween. Weather-wise, it was perfect. Since it was the last workday before Halloween, there would be other people in "costume" so I wouldn't stand out so much - well, as much as a skinny twit in stilettos can't stand out. :) Still, there were things that made me wonder if I should go out; My wife was presenting her research at a local college nearby instead of her college 30 miles away, my son had the day off from school, I still couldn't find which box I had packed my boobs in, and more. Well, the dang rubber band was just too tight. I decided on the spur of the moment to go ahead and go anyway. Sigh. I'm glad I did. Talk about a release of tension! I'm still grinning!

I started with simple makeup, and my new black stretch pants, with my favorite black and white top. It's easy to accessorize, and the pants have these cute zippers on the bottom. Here's a picture. Please forgive my pictures (and not just the subject matter) as the lighting was terrible in the dressing room!


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First, can I say how much I love tile floors?! I would say that a full third of our house has tile floors. There is no sound I like better than the sound of heels on a nice hard surface. It was so hard not to click my pretty heels all over the place, since I know that it might wake my son (actually, a herd of emu couldn't wake him, but I was being careful anyway). I stopped by my traditional mirror for my "OK, I guess I'm not that ugly" pep talk and final lip gloss application, and I was out the door.

My first stop was the bank for some shopping fun. Although the stretchy rubber-bandedness made me want to spend about eleventy-million dollars, I was a good girl, and only took out $200.00. The girls at the bank had been asking me every time I was there when I would go out dressed again (thanks for the pressure, ladies! :)), and seemed excited to see me. They loved the new pants, and said that some cute boots would really make the outfit. I thanked them and left to go to Ulta.

Ulta was still a bit slow as they were just opening. All of my friends were crowded around the front, drinking coffee and chatting. I walked in and one turned and said, "Good morning, ma'am. How can we help youuuuuuuwwwow!" They crowded around, hurling insults at me, like "Dayum, girl! How dare you show us your skinny a** in those pants?" and "You realize that those pants make you look like you weigh 10 pounds, right?"

They asked me where I planned to go shopping, what I was looking for, complimented me on my makeup, and more. After a bit of chatting, and buying a new mascara (Tarte Lights! Camera! Lashes!), I was off to Salt Lake for some long overdue shopping. I'll continue that (with more pictures. Plenty of pictures!) later. First, an observation and a question; We have all heard of the pink fog and its effects on us - especially after a long drought of not letting our insides shine out. I found that the tighter my "rubber band" got, the more easily the pink fog could creep in and make me do things that I would otherwise not. Is this true for you as well?

Kathi

[Christie ann]

I found that the tighter my "rubber band" got, the more easily the pink fog could creep in and make me do things that I would otherwise not. Is this true for you as well? Kathi

Oh no...I do those things I aught not to do all the time. Just today, at the supermarket met an old family friend. Did he notice the mary janes? Hope not.

[JaytoJillian]

Great story and a lovely photo

[NV Susan]

Hi Kathi, I can see why that's you favorite top...it looks lovely on you.
Your story rings so true as I'm into month 4 without dressing due to life's problems.
Good luck with the new house!!! :love:

[Olivia2]

If I could wear it as well as you do I would be stretching the envelope to the breaking point on a regular basis. Great taste in clothes, I might add.

[Kathi Lake]

Thanks, Jillian! How about you? I know you had a bit of a separation from dressing when you moved back "home." How did you cope?

Going on with my tale, I drove to Salt Lake to - you guessed it - White House | Black Market. Since my local boutique shut down, this has become my favorite store. It still has the feel of a boutique, but in a chain. The clothes are chic, stunning, classy, and actually fit my tiny frame. Bonus! :)

My favorite little pixie wasn't there. Where was she? Preggers!! We talked about how cute she was and how her baby bump was hardly showing - even at five months. The other women grumbled a bit about that, but she's too cute to hate. :)

I told them that from when I first saw the red suit in their catalogs and website, that I was smitten. They agreed that it was a gorgeous suit, and would look incredible on me, but didn't have many left as they just went on sale. We went over to the sale area and I asked for a 0 skirt and a 6 jacket. Sigh. All they had left was the skirt in size 00 and the jacket in size 00 and 4. They saw my disappointment, but said that I had to try it on anyway as they just knew it would fit. I took them into the fitting room and tried them on. The skirt was a little hard to zip up, but didn't look too bad, actually. Thank God for no hips! :) The jacket also seemed to button and not feel too tight. Looking at myself in the mirror, it really looked cute. Of course, it wasn't a very high cut on the jacket, and I asked them to toss me a black lace cami. No need to show everyone my navel, after all.

I put on the cami, brushed out my wig a bit (the poor thing needs to be euthanized and replaced soon), put the jacket and my heels back on and stepped out of the dressing room. To the right of the dressing room (knowing me, they gave me the hugest one) is a wall of mirrors. As I clicked over to it, everything clicked. My smile lit up and I knew it was mine - a wee bit too small or not. The skirt was meant to sit slightly below the knee, but on my freaky body it hit me slightly above. The jacket was wonderfully tailored so that the waist is brought in and the hem flares out, giving me the illusion of hips. It has a cute removable ruffle on one lapel (ruffles and other "girly" accents are very big this season), and a removable flower pin as well. The color? Red, and then some! I love red! For someone who professes to "blend" as much as I do, I sure do love eye-catching colors. Dichotomy, anyone?

I also love this big wall of mirrors because I can see the expressions of those around me. I've seen everything from mild distaste, to shock (the good kind, I hope :)), to smiles, to even what seemed a bit like jealousy (yeah, I know, hubris much?). When the SA came up to see how I was doing. She stopped a bit mid-sentence, forgot what she was going to say, laughed and said that she didn't know how I could pull off looking good in everything I tried on there. She said that the suit was perfect - not just on me, but for me. She said, "It just fits you. It fits your body (which I hate you for, by the way). It fits your personality. Don't take this the wrong way, but even though you're prettier than most of the other women who come in here (yeah, right), not everyone could wear that suit. You, girl, rock it, and you're making me jealous." I got a chorus of agreement from the other SAs and customers. I also got quite a boost of self-esteem on my girly side - quite a welcome feeling after 9 long months of near-inactivity. Here is a picture of me in the suit:


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A different SA excitedly took me by the hand and moved us towards the front of the store - passing about four wide-eyed other customers - and said, "I have just the thing for it!" She brought me to a shelf and squealed, "I've always wanted to try this on someone!" She plopped a red hat with a black feather on me, and adjusted the brim. She smiled and said, "You will look so adorable in church in this outfit!" The hat was cute, but not quite my style. I did see plenty of things I wanted to try on though, so the three of us (leaving the other SA to wait on the several other customers. Sorry! :)) went through the store, picking and pulling dress after dress, top after top, and skirt after skirt to try on. The first SA, who works both here and at a local Applebees while putting herself through college, asked me midway through if I minded trying all of this stuff on that they were suggesting, as they wanted to see it all on me (the novelty, perhaps?), but wondered if I had the time. I told her that I was always game to try anything cute on. She looked at me, shook her head and said, "Damn! You're hella fun!" I'm not quite sure what that means, but it seemed like a good thing. I said, jokingly, that I just didn't understand why most guys didn't like to shop. She said, "If more guys looked like you in a dress - heck, if most women looked as good as you do - I'd be a bajiillionaire."

Well, to say we found more stuff would be a slight understatement. As you'll see from the state of the dressing room in the pictures below, I tried on a lot of stuff! They had to set up a clothing rack on wheels outside my dressing room. I knew that this trip would be an expensive one. Sue told me once that I should tell her before I had my next shopping spree there so she could buy some stock in them first. She was right! :)

I tried on party dresses and skirts and sweaters and jeans and tops and so much more. Every time I would come out, I would hear them rushing back to see what I looked like. There were no snide customers this time. I did have that once; a mother was in with her daughter. I'm guessing that her instincts to protect her cub took over. I'm really harmless, honest! Heck, most people could break my skinny body like a dry twig, anyway. :) All right, onto the pictures! The first two are of a cute jacket that I'm sure will be mine one day. I didn't get it this day, but as cute as it was, I'm sure it will only be a matter of time.


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The next two pictures are of a dress that I really liked, but it hit my freaky body the way they always do - right under the bust. I tried it with a short cropped shrug and with a cute holiday cardigan. A cute look, but not one that says "Get me now!"


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Since I've reached the limit of pictures I can make in one post, and since I have a meeting on five minutes, I'll leave this post for now. More later!

Kathi

[TiffanyTgirl]

Well, I am glad you didn't go totally crazy! Nice outfit. You look very relaxed and happy. I guess it just shows through. Congrats!

[Kathi Lake]

Wow, looks like I'm out to another person at work.

There I was, finishing up my mandatory web-based course on insider trading. I had this page in the background as I was reading it for the obligatory typing mistakes (you'd think I'd learn to type after working with computers for 30 years, but I'm still a bad hunt & pecker :)). A co-worker came in as she had some questions for a customer (I'm a developer and she's a customer support tech). My back was to my monitor, and she was facing it. No big deal, right? The window was covered by the web training course page. Or was it?

Midway through the conversation, she got sort of scatterbrained, and - now that I think about it - a little flirty? She kept touching her hair, touched my arm a bit, and finally I noticed that she was looking at my monitor and then back to me, then back to my monitor, and then back to me. She smiled and said in a near-whisper. "I think you really missed your calling." I looked puzzled and asked what she meant. She pointed to the screen and said, "You really should have been a woman. That is you, right? You're gorgeous!"

I looked at the screen - you know, that screen that was supposed to have been covered by another screen - and apparently when the training is done, the screen goes away. Yeah. That screen.

I looked back and her smile told me that I had nothing to fear. Knowing what I knew about her, and the bacchanalian excesses of her Halloween party she had a few weeks ago, I knew I was safe as well. I told her that it was me, and that I had had this little hobby for quite awhile. She said that a friend of hers had taken her hobby full-time, and I should seriously think about doing the same. I thanked her, but said that with my taste in clothes, I'd be in the poorhouse in no time. She said that at least I would look fabulous once I was there. She also said, "I knew there was something soft, even feminine, about you - no offense!" I told her there was certainly no offense, and that I took it for the compliment I'm sure she meant. She assured me that it was a compliment.

So, yes I know - I'm a doofus for posting here at work. Yes, "The Secret" is, once again, less of a secret here. Here's an e-mail exchange from the last few minutes, so you can see how little tension this seems to have produced:

Her: Thank you. Have you ever noticed that customers don’t know what they are talking about a lot of the time? I just smile and clench my teeth. I wonder if they can hear that over the phone…

Me: Yeah. I've noticed that. That's one of the (many) reasons why I'm me instead of you.

Her: Yes but a new guy will be me on Monday, I hope he wears a cute skirt.

Me: Even if he does wear a cute skirt, there's no way he'll rock it like I did mine! (why I'm boasting about that, I have no idea. It's a good thing that guys don't wear clothes like that normally. As competitive as we are, can you imagine the "clothing wars" we'd have?). :)

Her: Yes I can imagine, it would be fantastic around here all the time.

So, busted, but it seems like a good thing - for now. Sigh.

Anyway, more of my shopping tale in a bit.

Kathi

[Christie ann]

When your rubber band snaps you certainly don't mess around do you? You take over the store, have the SA's falling all over you and make a GG friend at work. I certainly have enjoyed living vicariously through your posts. My wife will insure that my closet stays small and I stay in it.

[Rhonda Jean]

Kathi - I've seen about a kajillion pictures of you, and the red skirt suit is the best ever! Out at work? Just exactly where is it you're not out? Still blows my mind. BTW, it's been a while since I've seen a pic, but did your boobs get bigger or did you get smaller? A 00? What's next? Do they make negative sizes? Or do you have to start shopping in the little girl's dept.? Seriously, if you post about your new Hannah Montana skirt I'm gonna puke. Just kidding. You'd look great in a Hannah Montana skirt.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Much of our "clutter" and extra stuff went into storage - including all of Kathi's clothes, makeup, enhancements, and the like. It was cold turkey time! Sure, Veronica warned me to leave some behind in a duffle bag or something, but did I listen? Noooo! Instead I acted like a guy (that'll teach me! :)) and thought I'd be fine with it. And I was - for a month or so.

"Wrong thinking is punishable. Right thinking will be as quickly rewarded. You will find it an effective combination."


Still, I knew that something was going to snap one day. And it did.

I was expecting a shopping post. Yes...I am the eye in the sky, the maker of rules...I can read your mind.


There is no sound I like better than the sound of heels on a nice hard surface.

I kind of like the sound of "It's on clearance." slightly better.


They loved the new pants, and said that some cute boots would really make the outfit.

Yes, you need some boots.

http://www.zappos.com/stuart-weitzman-vigorous-black-nappa
http://www.zappos.com/stuart-weitzman-sohot-black-nappa

http://www.zappos.com/nine-west-goodtaste-black-leather




They crowded around, hurling insults at me, like "Dayum, girl! How dare you show us your skinny a** in those pants?" and "You realize that those pants make you look like you weigh 10 pounds, right?"

Dayum girl, You realize those pants make you look like you weigh 10 pounds!


I found that the tighter my "rubber band" got, the more easily the pink fog could creep in and make me do things that I would otherwise not. Is this true for you as well?

Yes, it did at times. Give in to the fog, become the fog. :-)





I told them that from when I first saw the red suit in their catalogs and website, that I was smitten. Looking at myself in the mirror, it really looked cute. Of course, it wasn't a very high cut on the jacket, and I asked them to toss me a black lace cami. No need to show everyone my navel, after all.
As I clicked over to it, everything clicked. My smile lit up and I knew it was mine - a wee bit too small or not. The skirt was meant to sit slightly below the knee, but on my freaky body it hit me slightly above. The jacket was wonderfully tailored so that the waist is brought in and the hem flares out, giving me the illusion of hips. It has a cute removable ruffle on one lapel (ruffles and other "girly" accents are very big this season), and a removable flower pin as well. The color? Red, and then some! I love red!

You look awesome in it...really. Wear it next time you go out, okay, maybe head to NM/Saks/Dillards/Macy's Take in a nice lunch.


She looked at me, shook her head and said, "Damn! You're hella fun!" I'm not quite sure what that means, but it seemed like a good thing.

It is, having a willing customer willing to try everything on...probably brings back "playing with barbie" memories. You're like a grown up version!


The next two pictures are of a dress that I really liked, but it hit my freaky body the way they always do - right under the bust. I tried it with a short cropped shrug and with a cute holiday cardigan. A cute look, but not one that says "Get me now!"

Buy it next time. That is what you should/would wear if you were ever to hang out with the Pilot wife version of the Gorgeous gossip patrol or perhaps the other Gorgeous Gossip Patrol en femme.



(you'd think I'd learn to type after working with computers for 30 years, but I'm still a bad hunt & pecker :)).

Sigh....you didn't take a full year of typing in high school where you were the only boy in the second semester?


The window was covered by the web training course page. Or was it?

Naughty Kathi! Browsing the site at work! Shell into your box at home and use X11 forwarding over SSH.


She smiled and said in a near-whisper. "I think you really missed your calling." I looked puzzled and asked what she meant. She pointed to the screen and said, "You really should have been a woman. That is you, right? You're gorgeous!"

She's right!


I told her that it was me, and that I had had this little hobby for quite awhile.

Hobby? We both know that for you it's not a...hobby. :-)


She said that a friend of hers had taken her hobby full-time, and I should seriously think about doing the same.

Yes! Cheerleading from your co-workers.


She also said, "I knew there was something soft, even feminine, about you - no offense!" I told her there was certainly no offense, and that I took it for the compliment I'm sure she meant. She assured me that it was a compliment.

Awwww.


So, yes I know - I'm a doofus for posting here at work.

No posting at work, not even when I'm going through Kathi thread withdrawal.

Veronica

[Diane Smith]

Oh, my, Kathi, you know we have the same favorite store, and I bought that same red suit about six weeks ago -- difference being that I'm a 12 on top and 8 on the bottom, but it looks good in my size too! And I had nearly the same experience with the SAs that you did, although this was at my favorite Indianapolis location. Either WHBM hires really great SAs, or they put 'em through some kind of intense indoctrination on how to recognize a crossdresser in the thick of the Pink Fog and sell them lots of stuff ...

- Diane

[SuzanneBender]

Kathi I have to be forthcoming to you. I really am your Boss and I insist that you stop posting at work. We need your full attention and now you are also distracting your fellow employees. I fear that this behavior is going to result in complete days of production lost as the entire office staff goes out to get make overs and find gorgeous outfits. :heehee:

That rubber band may have been close to snapping but you look like is popped right back into place despite the temporary loss of your boobies. You look fantastic. I need you to teach me the tecnique for taking self pics while holding the camera. I have never been able to make it work, but you seem to always be able to take perfect pictures.

I hear you sister about missing the fab femme exterior. I can relate. Suzanne is locked away in a closet in Kansas for a year while her alter ego goes on an adventure half way around the world in a land that looks like the surface of the moon. I bet it felt great to look in that mirror and see a pretty you looking back. :daydreaming:

Guess what? Eventhough you were not able to put on all of Kathi's accoutrement for months she was always there. You know as well as I the wonderful heart and soul that are inside are all Kathi. You see the world through her eyes and everything on the outside is just icing on the cake. Hmmmm I think you were the one of the people that helped teach me this lesson about a little ole me. Thanks sis!

[Kathi Lake]

. . . did your boobs get bigger or did you get smaller?Well, as I said, I can't find the box that has my normal tiny (size 4) forms, so I had to go to my "backup boobs" which are size 5. Just wait until you see a picture of me in the sweater I bought! :)


. . . do you have to start shopping in the little girl's dept?Actually, my daughter and I were joking that something of hers would probably fit me. She's 10 and weighs around 55 pounds (yes, she is certainly my child! :)).


"Wrong thinking is punishable. Right thinking will be as quickly rewarded. You will find it an effective combination."Is it wrong to visualize you with your forehead slowly pulsing? :)


Yes, you need some boots.and what cute boots they are! Me likey! I love the SWs - especially the sohots!


You look awesome in it...really.Thanks, sis! I really, really do like it. I'm not the suit type, but I'm a sucker for something that fits me this well, and makes even me feel pretty.


...probably brings back "playing with barbie" memories. You're like a grown up version!I am more than happy to let them "play Barbie" with me. :)


Hobby? We both know that for you it's not a...hobby. :-)Well, I'm not ready to call it a lifestyle just yet. Cheerleading aside, it is what it is.


Either WHBM hires really great SAs, or they put 'em through some kind of intense indoctrination on how to recognize a crossdresser in the thick of the Pink Fog and sell them lots of stuff.Actually, I've asked them about this. They say they have no chain-specific training or guidance on transgender customers, they just tend to hire those that love fashion. Fashion knows no gender, so we that "get it" tend to "resonate" with them. They say that when I'm in, they don't think of me as a guy at all (there goes that fragile male ego thing I had going). To them I'm just another woman. A gorgeous, graceful, classy woman who makes the rest of them feel like heifers, according to one of them. :)


Guess what? Even though you were not able to put on all of Kathi's accoutrement for months she was always there. You know as well as I the wonderful heart and soul that are inside are all Kathi. You see the world through her eyes and everything on the outside is just icing on the cake. Hmmmm I think you were the one of the people that helped teach me this lesson about a little ole me. Thanks sis!Ah, my Suzanne. I truly hope that it was a lesson learned. We are who we are. There is no "inside me there is a . . ." or "on the outside, I'm a . . ." there is only us. We are who we are. If there is any lesson I have learned through all of this, it is that you don't have to be female to be feminine. Is that enough for everybody? No. For me, for now, it is. I wish you luck and peace on your little vacation. If you feel it's safe, friend me on Facebook as for now the military has it unblocked. Love ya, sis! Be safe! who knows, I may be seeing you in about six months or so. :)

[LitaKelley]

I love the top in the first pic.. very nice, and you look great.

[JOJO44]

Si Senorita,

I think I understand, but at least you got a chance to show off that 'Twiggy' body of yours.

You just know we all are going to hate you for that! :eek::doh::daydreaming:

Love your look,

:hugs:

Jo

[Kathi Lake]

Let's see - where was I?

Oh yeah, shopping! :)

The try-on spree continued. The SAs continued to bring things to my dressing room. Some worked. Some didn't. I mean, they looked OK, but they just didn't work with my style. My style is a bit odd. One part casual, one part classy, one part feminine lace and ruffles, and one (small) part sexy. One thing they had me try on was a cute top that was part poncho, part sweater. I kind of frowned when she brought it to me, but she said, "Come on, girl! Break out of that shell! Part of being a woman is surprising people - even ourselves." I tried it and you know what? I liked it! It was fun and flirty and something that you would never find in a men's department. Here's a pic:


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What do you think? Is it me or not?

It was amazing. Two hours had flown by. I had tried on most of the store, from strapless party dresses (difficult as I can't find my attachable forms) to jeans to suits to dresses. The SAs said it was too bad that their store didn't carry any of their bridal fashions as they were just dying to see me as a bride. :o

As I was heading back to the dressing rooms near the end of my spree (wearing the red suit again, just to be sure), I saw another woman coming out wearing a beautiful black pencil skirt and an incredible sweater. As she was admiring herself in the mirror, I walked over and told her she looked fantastic, and that I loved the sweater. She told me that she had wanted the suit, but they had no larger sizes (she was a 6 - larger sizes?! :)) left. She said I looked incredible, and blurted out that she couldn't believe that a guy could look "that good as a woman." I assured her that it wasn't me, but the pretty clothes instead. I said, "Well, you know the old saying that the clothes make the man, right?. . ." and twirled around for her, smiling. She said, "Oh, there's more than just the clothes going on here, but you're right - they sure do help."

Anyway, I told her again that I loved her sweater. Her SA (the only one left not helping me :)) told us that they had just gotten them in and asked me if I would like to try one on. The other two SAs giggled at that. I said, "Hey now! I like pretty clothes. Is that a crime?" She laughed and went in the back to grab an XS and a small. I went back to my dressing room and tried on the XS. Too small. I tried on the small. Too small. I asked for a medium. That fit perfectly! It is a beautiful long turtleneck in ecru. It has pretty silver buttons along one side of the neck and shoulder seam. There are pretty details along the front with a pointelle stitch and a ribbon woven through it. Basically, it is a very feminine sweater. Here's a picture.


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As soon as I put it on, I knew that this sweater would be going home with me as well as the suit. It was just that pretty! It made me feel lithe, elegant, . . . soft. When I can't get the smile off of my face in the mirror, I know that whatever it is will be mine. The sweater was full-price, unfortunately, but this is a case where money can buy happiness - at least for a time. :)

As I took my treasures up to the register, and the tally was added, she reminded me that I still had a 20% discount on my account, plus my normal 5% frequent-shopper discount. If the total was over $200.00, she could give me a $50.00 discount as well. My total was about three dollars shy of that. We looked around the store for some jewelry or a cami or something small, but nothing looked good. She just brought me back to the register, fiddled with some buttons for awhile, and said, "There! All fixed up! I overrode that pesky limit. You're too good a customer. We need all our fashionable ladies to be happy, after all! I thanked her and the other ladies, and told them that I'd see them soon. They said that they always had fun when I was in the store, and thanked me for being such a good sport with the mass-tryon. I told them it was my pleasure - and I meant that. :)

Next stop, Talbots - which will be in the next post. Hope you're enjoying it so far. I do so love shopping, and hope these adventures let you know that it is possible to get out there and have fun as a normal, happy person.

Kathi

[kimdl93]

What a great time!! And from my experiences in having done some home remodeling and construction, you've earned it!

After being used to dressing 24/7 for two years now, our youngest daughter moved back in and I've been closeted for the better part of each day. Not exaclty the dry spell you've endured, but I can feel the tension building in the rubber band. It is a temporary situation, but I long for the days when I can go back to being me, full time!

[NV Susan]

Well Kathi, when my rubber band snaps and I get out of this self-imposed prison I'm in, I only hope it goes so well for me as it has you. Biggest difference.... I'll never look that good!! :battingeyelashes:

[Kathi Lake]

Biggest difference.... I'll never look that good!! :battingeyelashes:
Oh, I don't know, Susan! With the right sweater (and the right sweater kittens :)), I'm sure you'll look fabulous!

:)

Kathi

[PretzelGirl]

And the world is right again.....

[DianeDeBris]

Let the word go out far and wide, high and low: Kathi is back!!! Lord, girl, it's good to hear of your adventures!

[Sarah Doepner]

I thought about inviting you to come to our support group meeting this Friday and show off some of your wardrobe and tell a few stories to inspire a few of the girls, but we only have 3 hours and you'd just barely be starting! (Actually, you would be welcome any time and you should know that.) Kathi, it's nice to know you are on your way back to sharing your wonderful take on the world and opening door for the rest of us to follow you through.

And you know there really isn't anything wrong with the larger forms. You look great with them.

[Kathi Lake]

Thanks, ladies! I hope you find my adventures as amusing, fun, and exciting as I do!

Sarah, I appreciate the invite, but until we are fully moved in, I am a homebody. Tonight, I could barely contain myself as the excitement of sealing my grout (did I mention that this house has about 1500 square feet of tile?) nearly overwhelmed me. My wife is after me to hang up her nearly 7,000 cross stitch pieces (maye a slight exaggeration), a double-handful of quilts, pictures, and other decorate-y stuff. Then I get to start on unpacking more boxes, and cleaning out the third-car garage so we can put a car in there. Yay me!

Hopefully, while unpacking all those boxes, I'll find my bloody boobies! I still have no idea where they went! As I was packing them, and other items, I thought I'd be clever in my box-labeling so I would know which box I put them in. Apparently I wasn't that clever. Hmmmm, spare parts? Nope. Accessories? Nope. Appliances? Nope. Maybe I should have just put, "This box does not contain a pair of attachable mastectomy forms. Nope. Nothing to see here. Move along."

Also, I don't really have a different "take" on the world. I simply accept myself as I am, and extend that courtesy to the rest of the world as well - whether they like it or not. :)

Sigh. Too tired tonight to continue my shopping post. Tomorrow, perhaps. G'night!

:)

Kathi

[t-girlxsophie]

That's it I'm hitting the gym,and throwing away my choccy biscuits I want a waist,or maybe I should get myself a supersize elastic band and put it round my midriff :heehee:

Fantastic pics Kathi,and such lovely outfits,You have a real nice sense of style:thumbsup:

:hugs:Sophie

[Sara Jessica]

Wow, to find the time to respond in such a way that does this wonderful thread justice. I'll try to cobble something together.

First of all, yeaaaa, Kathi's back!!! :)

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure everyone loved those interim posts where Kathi made fleeting appearances, myself included. But what made those so special is that you proved what you have said all along. You are the same person no matter how you present. Still, you know we're a demanding bunch here, we want pictures and I for one am so glad to enjoy a cup of coffee (or perhaps an entire pot!!!) while reading through your adventures.

I started with simple makeup, and my new black stretch pants, with my favorite black and white top.

Good gosh, you make that outfit absoutely rock!!! I can see why you like the top so much, it's not only gorgeous but also very flattering and versitile.

First, an observation and a question; We have all heard of the pink fog and its effects on us - especially after a long drought of not letting our insides shine out. I found that the tighter my "rubber band" got, the more easily the pink fog could creep in and make me do things that I would otherwise not. Is this true for you as well?

It's hard to take a sabbatical from one's self. You have done so in terms of expression. I don't think I could do the same. So to answer your question, I can easily see your point but personally, I'm doing things daily that give me continual pause (ummm, hair anyone?). I don't attribute it to the pink fog theory. Rather, it's pushing the envelope as far as I am able without going over the line. Wait, I went over that line long ago. I think you know what I mean. As to your situation over the last several months, I feel it was simply expression. Nothing more, nothing less.

I told them that from when I first saw the red suit in their catalogs and website, that I was smitten.

I can totally see why. I'm not big into suits but that looks amazing on you. And red, you wear it perfectly!!!

The first two are of a cute jacket that I'm sure will be mine one day. I didn't get it this day, but as cute as it was, I'm sure it will only be a matter of time.

I like the jacket, not sure if I love it. It certainly fits, perfectly in the arms in particular. but it kind of cuts you off a little funky. Could be those long legs you are blessed with. I'm guessing that in person the jacket comes across much better. This is one reason why you and I must get together someday!!!

The next two pictures are of a dress that I really liked, but it hit my freaky body the way they always do - right under the bust. I tried it with a short cropped shrug and with a cute holiday cardigan. A cute look, but not one that says "Get me now!"

And why the heck did it not scream loudly "Get me now!"??? Maybe this is just the opposite as what I said about the jacket, that in person maybe it doesn't come across so well. But in the picture, it's absolutely perfect, especially with the black shrug.

Since I've reached the limit of pictures I can make in one post, and since I have a meeting on five minutes, I'll leave this post for now. More later!

I've reached my time limit for this one. Hope to pick it up later. So much fun...as always, thanks for sharing Kathi!!!

[Kathi Lake]

. . . I want a waist,or maybe I should get myself a supersize elastic band and put it round my midriffSophie, it's actually a rare genetic condition called skinnytwititis - it can be very painful! Sometimes I can't duck fast enough when something is hurled at me after they see me in skinny jeans. :)


You are the same person no matter how you present.Sara, I am sooo glad that that comes through! There's no she or he, just lil' ol' me.


I can totally see why. I'm not big into suits but that looks amazing on you. And red, you wear it perfectly!!!I'm not exactly the suit person that Tammie is, but I do like a pretty suit. This one was (and is) full-on gorgeous!


I'm guessing that in person the jacket comes across much better. This is one reason why you and I must get together someday!!!It does look cuter in person - especially without the long sweater poking out. As for getting together, I'm working on it! :)


But in the picture, it's absolutely perfect, especially with the black shrug.Hmmmm, the part that I didn't like was how the waist of the dress was right under my bust - elevating the girls to new heights! If I wanted a bustier, believe me, they have plenty! :)


So much fun...as always, thanks for sharing Kathi!!!Thank you for writing! It's always nice to get a second opinion - especially on the jacket. I've got to find someone who will tell me when something doesn't look good on me! I mean, everything can't look good on me, right? :)

Kathi

[Christina Horton]

Hopefully, while unpacking all those boxes, I'll find my bloody boobies! I still have no idea where they went! As I was packing them, and other items, I thought I'd be clever in my box-labeling so I would know which box I put them in. Apparently I wasn't that clever. Hmmmm, spare parts? Nope. Accessories? Nope. Appliances? Nope. Maybe I should have just put, "This box does not contain a pair of attachable mastectomy forms. Nope. Nothing to see here. Move along."


Well I think the bigger boobs look better and give you a better waistline. EG gives you one cuz your so skinny. no stop complaining that your to shinny cuz you would not want to be like me EH?

No go hide your own Easter eggs , buy gifts for your self and open them at Christmas and wonder "Who got me this"? Go , Be Free!!!!

[Sara Jessica]

First of all, about that exchange at work, your ability to be at ease in being yourself is amazing. Whether it be the fact that someone knows at your office to the ladies at the bank to the very local Ulta you frequent, the circle of comfort you have constructed is certainly much smaller than mine!


Yes, you need some boots.

http://www.zappos.com/stuart-weitzman-sohot-black-nappa

Love these, they remind me of my SW Hyper's. Seems that while the styles of some of their standby products are similar (or the exact same), the names have changed of late. If you go to the SW site, the heel closes to the Fever appears to be called "Naughty" and this boot reminiscent of the Hyper is called "So Hot". It really doesn't change a thing, I still love their shoes but I kind of wish they'd go back to a slight bit of subtlety when it comes to the names.


Hobby? We both know that for you it's not a...hobby. :-)

Once again, Veronica does know best!!! ;)


Yes! Cheerleading from your co-workers.

Isn't that awesome? Goes hand in hand with cheerleading from Veronica (which of course I love!!!).


Suzanne is locked away in a closet in Kansas for a year while her alter ego goes on an adventure half way around the world in a land that looks like the surface of the moon.

First a Kathi sabbatical, now a Suzanne one??? :( Seriously, you know where to find us Suzanne to help you should the desire for that feminine goodness (kind of a Suzanne-ism, huh?) distracts you in the least bit from your important adventure.


Hmmmm, the part that I didn't like was how the waist of the dress was right under my bust - elevating the girls to new heights!

I think this is precisely what I like about that dress. It cuts you exactly where it should. And isn't perfectly elevated girls what we're all looking for??? ;)

[Kathi Lake]

Now go hide your own Easter eggs . . .If that was a reference to my missing boobies, then worry no longer. I found them!!! What a relief! I finally cracked the code on the moving boxes. They were in a box that had, among other labels, "CD Supplies." Wow, Earth to Captain Obvious!

Thanks for the comment on me and larger girls. It's complicated. I'm a guy. I know what we look at and for. I don't want to be the woman that is ogled for her body - or the one that guys look at at all. I much prefer if you ogle me for my mind. :)


First of all, about that exchange at work, your ability to be at ease in being yourself is amazing. Whether it be the fact that someone knows at your office to the ladies at the bank to the very local Ulta you frequent, the circle of comfort you have constructed is certainly much smaller than mine!Ummm, you mean larger, don't ya, sis? :)


Once again, Veronica does know best!!! ;)Yeah, yeah - I know. :)


And isn't perfectly elevated girls what we're all looking for??? ;)Well, kinda. I guess. I just get uncomfortable when men stare at my chest. Crossing my arms just seems to accentuate them and lifts them even higher, thus making them even better targets. When guys look at me with that look - a look that is almost hunger - I feel very odd; small, powerless, delicate, afraid - even if I could kick his butt, I honestly wonder if I could. You know what I mean?

Anyway, I will try to finish this tale quickly. Hey, stop laughing! I can do it. I'll show you. :)

I left WHBM in a sea of estrogen. I always feel happy, normal, jazzed, and even accomplished after a shopping session, like I just did exactly what I was supposed to do in life, almost. Odd, and most likely a bit stereotypical, but there you are. I went to Talbots. I was on the lookout for a pair of brown dress pants, and I told the SAs there as much. They went off (after their greetings and catching up, of course) to two different sections to look for some. One of them started a room for me, adding about three tops and a cute jacket as well. Mr. Camera decided to die though, so I didn't get any pictures there. Sad, because of few of the outfits were cute. Not cute enough to buy, but cute just the same. The one pair of pants that I liked, everyone agreed was too short for, as they said, "your fabulous long legs." They did write the style and color numbers down so I could order the tall size online. If I do decide to get them, I will surely let you all see a picture or two. I and my wife have so many tops that will go with brown pants. Of course, I'll need shoes (I saw the perfect pair of kitten heels in a dark brown croc that'll look awesome!), jewelry, and more. More shopping? Oh darn! :)

I left Talbots and headed home. I stopped off at my normal (as in - I normally shop there in guy mode) beauty supply store to refill our conditioner (my wife uses it for her hair, I use it for shaving :)), and other than a "Wow, you look different today! Cute top. You look hot in it!" there was no discussion on why I was dressed as a woman. Of course, I didn't act any different, so who knows why?

Finally, I had a haircut at 4:30 with a friend who used to work at the salon at Ulta, but was now at a new salon. Next door is one of my boutiques I frequent. The owner was there and had a fabulous top on. I complimented her on it, and she said, "I thought of you when it came in. I knew it would look fantastic on us when I saw it. She pulled one for me and I tried it on. Wow, instant like! The bottom is elasticized so it gathers in at the waist, and is made of a beautiful, flowy fabric. It has cute cap sleeves and is mostly a palette of Fall colors. It would look incredible with a pair of jeans (which she was wearing) and a gorgeous pair of heels or even boots. There was more to try on, but I was getting close to my hair appointment, so I paid for the top, talked to her about her latest computer problem (which I fixed for her this last week. Can you believe people are sill using Windows 98?! :)) and went next door.

Wow, the salon was busy!!! Of the four chairs and two nail tables in the place, only her chair was the empty one. After the requisite compliments, she asked me what we were doing, and asked if we were going to be cutting my girl hair or my boy hair. I had forgotten about the wig, and removed it so she could give my boy hair a trim. I just love the rhythms of a salon - from the laughter and the girl talk to the sounds of dryers and scissors, it just seems to embody a place of, I guess comfort is the word I'm looking for. It is an island of beauty and friendship and just being. This is the place that almost makes me want to dive into the feminine forever, to exist on this plane not as a temporary outsider, but as a full-time, dues-paying resident.

Well, I could go on about forever, as many of you know, but I promised I would make it short. I will mention what my stylist said to me later that week. She said that when I walked in, most heads turned to me. I said, "Yeah, I'm sure they did, to look at the skinny crossdresser." She said that no, no one knew I wasn't woman, but when I removed my wig, she said, "You should have seen the reactions from the other women! I honestly think they had no idea." You know, the salon is pretty badly-lit.

:)

Until next time, keep shopping, ladies!!

Kathi

[PretzelGirl]

Badly lit? Doesn't it have a glass roof? :heehee:

And for oblivious, I haven't even noticed the boutique next door.

[Kathi Lake]

Glass roof, shmash roof. It's poorly-lit, I tell you! :)

Next door is a boutique/tanning salon called My Closet/Bahama Bronze. If you see the owner - a tall, leggy, skinny, gorgeous blonde, tell them I sent you - but use my guy name as it is all I ever use (except here and, perhaps, in my heart).

:)

Kathi

[Sara Jessica]

Ummm, you mean larger, don't ya, sis? :)

I should have been more clear. I did mean smaller as in radius from your home base. I prefer said radius to be 20+ miles but I do have two places that I tread carefully which are closer, my boutique and the place where I get my hair done.


Well, kinda. I guess. I just get uncomfortable when men stare at my chest. Crossing my arms just seems to accentuate them and lifts them even higher, thus making them even better targets. When guys look at me with that look - a look that is almost hunger - I feel very odd; small, powerless, delicate, afraid - even if I could kick his butt, I honestly wonder if I could. You know what I mean?

I do know what you mean. When my "old" boutique was closing down, one of the SA's gave me these foam inserts that they apparently had on hand for when a woman was trying on something that would look better with a little accentuation up top. I wore them out once or twice and I felt EXACTLY as you did. The foam turned my little B's into C+'s. It's funny though, a good friend of mine is retiring her C's in favor of B's and given the fact my forms are on their very last legs (let's just say they are mummified with 3M repair tape and while they have their shape, they have lost their charm), she is sending me a set of C's. It'll be interesting to see if they are a bit smaller than B+foam or if I'm in for getting used to being stared at even more than I am now.


She said that when I walked in, most heads turned to me. I said, "Yeah, I'm sure they did, to look at the skinny crossdresser." She said that no, no one knew I wasn't woman, but when I removed my wig, she said, "You should have seen the reactions from the other women! I honestly think they had no idea." You know, the salon is pretty badly-lit.

See what I mean, there's that short little radius of yours!!!

BTW, can't wait to see the top.

[KatieC]

It's been months since I've been on the forums. (I changed jobs back in January which greatly improved my morale but totally cut out my time to read the forums during the day, and I can so rarely read them from home -- still deep in the closet.) Halloween time is always rough for me, and I was feeling low. I made time to come read the forums, specifically hoping to find a Shopping Extravaganza posting from you, Kathi. Lucky me, that your rubber band just recently snapped!

It's always a pleasure to read your postings. Thanks for cheering me up.

-K

[Abbyru1]

Gosh Kathi, if buying a house makes you look this good in a red outfit,
(amoung the thooousands of others),maybe you should be on the
governments economic recovery board!

Way jealous!

[Laura Evans]

Kathi, girl you have set off the pink fog for me with your fabulous trip with all that modeling, thanks for the post.

[Dana]

Having been one who's denied my feminine side (all the while desiring it so) its taken me the better part of thirty something years to come to the understanding that its only a matter of time before I move in with some woman before I have the want, need, desire, temptation to get into her clothes, makeup, and jewelry?

Before it becomes a irrational want, desire, need to do so?

[Kathi Lake]

I should have been more clear. I did mean smaller as in radius from your home base.Ah. That smaller! Yeah, unlike SoCal, Utah doesn't exactly have a plethora of shopping options, so you take what you can get - close or not.


. . . and I felt EXACTLY as you did. The foam turned my little B's into C+'s.Isn't that an odd feeling? I guess we're more used to being the "predator" and not the "prey" so to speak. I always used to wonder what women meant about how being stared at made them feel - even women with the means to protect themselves. Then I walked around in a skirt. And heels. And boobs. While not powerless, I still felt less powerful, I guess. I can't run very well in stilettos or a tight skirt. These things out front? I can't move very fast with those or I'll bust out of my top. it's just an odd feeling.


I made time to come read the forums, specifically hoping to find a Shopping Extravaganza posting from you, Kathi. Thanks for cheering me up.Katie, your job does - and always should - come first. I'm glad that I could amuse you and make your day a wee bit brighter. :)


Way jealous!Now how about some pics of you so we can be jealous in turn? :)


Kathi, girl you have set off the pink fog for me with your fabulous trip with all that modeling.Wow, sounds like someone's pink fog is on a hair-trigger, Laura! Glad you enjoyed it.


. . . its only a matter of time before I move in with some woman before I have the want, need, desire, temptation to get into her clothes, makeup, and jewelry?. . . and of course before you do, you will definitely have her explicit permission, right? If not, be sure to get your own pretties!

:)

Kathi