En-femme and strip clubs

[leliani]

I read a post recently about someone that went to a "Gentlemans Club" en-femme, and I have to say I became very interested to do that same. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this and what to wear?

Any tips / advice would be great :)

[Diane Smith]

I am one of those who wrote about going to an adult club en femme. I would dress as for any other clubbing/dancing kind of experience, that is, something a little looser and flashier than you would wear to the office or the grocery store, but not outright provocative. As long as you don't look like somebody's grandma you'll probably be OK. :)

- Diane

[kimdl93]

It depends on the club and its location. It might be a good idea to go with a group.

[AndreaS]

I went to one back in the spring and had a lot better time than I thought I would. I actually went on a Saturday afternoon so that I wouldn't have to worry about leaving by myself late at night. I was treated respectfully by the few that I came in contact with and had a great time with a couple of the dancers there.

I highly recommend it.

[sherri]

I would expect that most clubs and staff would welcome you. It's the clientèle I would be worried about. If you go alone, ask the bouncer to walk you to your car when you leave.

[dilane]

I went to a topless pole-dance place with a 6'5" male friend and his wife. Dressed nicely as if for dancing (about knee length skirt) -- in fact we went there from a dance club. No problems except that I forgot my wallet and they had to get the manager to approve my entry (I'm waaaaay over 21, but I guess they got in trouble with underage people). Had a good time (it was the first time I'd ever been in such a place).

[sandra-leigh]

You have to know something about what parts of your town are generally safe or not. For example, sometimes clubs are run by gangs, and if you happen to wander in to one of those looking too much like you might be "undercover" or looking too law-and-order, then trouble might find you even in male mode.

If you find a "reasonable" club in a generally-calm city, then until you are known there, avoid going when it is likely to be packed: you don't want to find yourself in a situation where there is not much personal space and someone gets the idea that you are a "faggot" trying to touch them or come on to them.

In reasonable clubs when there is enough personal space that people don't have to go close to you if they feel uncomfortable about you, then if they let you in dressed at all (I encountered one place that had a mixed-up dress policy the duty manager didn't have the authority to override), then probably there will not be any problem with the staff, and the great majority of the customers will be too busy with their drinks and the show to think it worth their time to bother you (or even talk to you at all.) I don't know about the Bible Belt, but in Canada it is common for the dancers to find you to be of at least passing interest provided you are polite and your anatomy isn't hanging out.

One thing to be aware of, especially the first time going to any new place, is that clubs tend to be protective of the dancers, and so tend to keep an eye on who goes into the women's washroom (the one used by the dancers). If you are gender-bending or if you are Dressed but get "read" without difficulty, then the club might expect you to use the men's washroom. The men's in some clubs is pretty scummy even there is no one else in it, and the washroom is a place where guys feel more ready about making rude remarks to you or possibly even about engaging in some recreational threats of violence. Think safety -- hold it in, or leave and go somewhere else, or ask to use a different washroom -- at least until you know the club fairly well. There will be other clubs where the staff will "read" you and come over and make it clear that you are welcome to use the women's or will voluntarily direct you to a single-person washroom.

Some clubs may be wary because you are a potential flash-point; other clubs will be indifferent and stand-off-ish (like they treat all the customers); other clubs may not interact with you much at all personally but will take the time to indicate that they won't stand for you being bothered; other clubs will be friendly; and some clubs will downright encourage you to come dressed.

With regard to talking to the dancers or asking them to dance for you: if a dancer seems friendly and doesn't avoid looking at you, then go ahead and interact with them. Sometimes, though, you will notice that a particular dancer never seems to happen to be in your part of the room or always happens to look in a different direction than where you are: that may indicate that they are not so happy to see you... or it may just be due to chance, especially if the place is busy.

Another thing to note is that if you are looking nervous or are more or less hiding in a corner to avoid having the customers think about you, then staff or the dancers might interpret your body language as indicating that you want to be left alone.


There is a possibility that a guy will try to "pick you up" if you go Dressed to a strip club -- and I don't mean "a guy that thinks you are female", I mean a guy that knows fully well that you are biologically male. You might think that that would be the last place to expect to be picked up, but reality has other plans. I am not saying that the probability is high (unless you are dressed enticingly perhaps), but you need to know that it happens sometimes so that you don't get upset if it happens to you.

[Maddie22]

Last December I saw that there was a "Tranny" party going on at a place called Blue Grass Connections in Lexington KY, which happens to be a swingers bar there as well. It was hosted by a Wendy Williams who is a "Tranny" Porn Star. It was a lot of fun, and it was a mixed crowd of couples, singles, gay, straight, bi, tg ect... They also had the "house show girl" there too. She normally does dances for there regular swingers nights, but she was there that day and I got a dance from her, and she seemed to have fun flirting with me and talking about girl things.

A few couples there tried to pick me up as well which was a lot of fun to get that kind of attention. Anyways afterwards, a group of people invited me, and paid, for my way into the big gentleman's club in town there. It was packed, like a high end Vegas club packed, and I definitely drew a lot of attention walking in there. I felt that the majority of the male patrons didn't exactly care for me, but didn't harass me because I was with a group. All the dancers thought LOVED me!!! It was a lot of fun!!!

However, I wouldn't ever go back to regular gentleman's club dressed by myself. Only with a large group. And I would make sure it is a bigger club, and an upscale one, in a city. If you do that I think you'll be ok.

[michelleky53]

I have gone to a few in Nashville, Tn. with mixed results. No real problem with the dancers, they acted like they loved me. One place would not let me in, because of their dress code. I had on a skirt and sweater, but they said I had to have pants on. Another place let me in a few times, without incident, but the next time the manager refused me entry, said other customers weren't comfortable with me. A third place let me in without question and the ladies were very nice. Even got a phone number from one of the dancers. At a club in Knoxville, where I went in underdressing, a dancer felt my bra straps and pantyhose, and she was mine for the evening. I got lots of attention from her fellow dancers as well.

[AvidFan]

Living in the Bay Area, I think the better clubs in SF would be OK. Lots of security, the most diverse place in the world. Broadway has the best clubs. The girls are beautiful, not a bunch of Rock of Love porno rejects. I couldnt imagine going en femme, I got enough attention as it was. Strippers all like playing with my long hair