Came out to best friend (long distance) -- no response

[Amanda22]

Only 4 days ago, I sent an old, very dear friend of mine an email letting him know that I CD. I purposely didn't send photos and really worked on the wording to keep it direct but not overly "heavy." He had sent me an email earlier that day just to say "hello" and catch up. We live in different states in the US so we only see each other a couple of times per year. We've known each other for 20+ years and have been through lots together and would give "each other the shirt off our back."

I'm admittedly very impatient when it comes to knowing a reaction to someone I come out to. He hasn't responded and I can't help feeling rejected. I can't help stressing about this. I know the risk of coming out to another person is total rejection, and I frequently advice others of this possibility, but it hurts just the same.

I would really like to be more patient. After all, I'm sure my news came out of left field and he probably needs time to figure out what he thinks and how to respond. Sometimes I can be so ridiculously impatient!

[Jennifer Marie P.]

dONT WORRY THEY WILL COME AROUND IT TAKES TIME.

[anonymousinmaryland]

I've often contemplated telling my sister, who is a nurse and has seen and heard it all before. But I am unsure what would transpire after that? We are not that close now, but I wonder if that would hurt her, or help to build our relationship?

[Jay Cee]

That's gotta be tough, Amanda. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. Is it possible that he doesn't check his email very often. I have a friend like that. I think he goes online about once every two weeks, if that.

[mklinden2010]

cards.

[Amanda22]

Thank you all for your responses. You are so kind!

mklinden2010, thank you for everything you just wrote. That was exactly what I needed to hear, and now I know why I posted that in the first place. You have put this in context for me. There are several points of wisdom in your response that I'm going to print because I need to remember them. I do need to keep growing; I can be pretty immature.

[JenniferR771]

It is common for the person you told to say, I understand--HOWEVER--they seldon have any comprehension whatever. And that is the problem--no one can explain it. And no one knows why it happened to you and not your brother. CDers happen. His choice is to accept that and not ask why. Most people are uncomfortable with the idea for a long period of time. Take it slow.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Amanda,

Your post really resonates with me. One of the first people I ever came out to was a friend of 15 years, I too sent an e-mail, we were very close. I waited for a response. none came, sent a few other emails for almost a year, no reply. So I figured 'what the hey' it's not my problem. After another 6 years I recieved a call, saying it took him a long time to realize that true friends are more precious then diamonds. He asked me to forgive him for his bigotry. I did. A month later he emailed that he 'hoped I was a liberated crossdresser, because he does'nt open doors for any woman'. LOL gotta love friends. He helped me to remember that we are all a little bit cracked.

Just give your friend time. Sometimes time is the best healer.

Kelly

[carhill2mn]

My reaction is why you felt it necessary to immediately inform your friend that you CD when he was just saying "hello" and
"catching up"? Your impulsiveness may cause him to wait awhile before responding as he has some "digesting" to do.

[Amanda22]

My reaction is why you felt it necessary to immediately inform your friend that you CD when he was just saying "hello" and
"catching up"? Your impulsiveness may cause him to wait awhile before responding as he has some "digesting" to do.

You're probably right in that I was way too impulsive and handled it completely wrong.

[Megan Thomas]

As has already been mentioned, time will tell... A couple I am friends with didn't handle it very well initiially. She did, he didn't. Three months later he came round and is now fine with it.