freaking out

[bridgetta]

wow.. when i get a chance to dress.. its crazy... i stay up all night. .i dont eat until very late.. i dress and undress 4 or 5 times..! then i sleep all day the next day.. get grouchy and waste so much time...
halloween made the urge real strong.recently.. . u:daydreaming::daydreaming:sually its no big deal.. i think i need a shrink.. its getting complicated!

this forum is good.. im glad to be able to share finallly.. but has anyone seen a therapist for crossdressing? its so expensive and time consuming.. i dont have enough time as it is!

what an irritating burden.. all the mood swings!

[Tanya83]

I've gone to a therapist not specifically for the dressing but it was nice to be able to talk about it to someone in a non-bias situation. For the most part she was very professional as expected and made absolutely no big deal about it. Even said she wouldn't mind dating a cd. Of course she could have just been saying that but at the time it was very convincing and helped me in a difficult time of my life.

[bridgetta]

thanks tanya..,, im just wondering if this forum does the same sort of thing.. it seems to... its an active way to think about it...

[Kelly DeWinter]

I allways check the moon, if it's pink, I know the 'change' will happen. It starts with a run in my hose, a fingernail will chip, and i'll cut myself shaving .... my legs.

[Sarah Doepner]

Brigetta,

It sounds like a perfect example of the "Dreaded Pink Fog" taking control. This is opposed to a session where the Pink Fog is a welcome partner rather than a frantic master. I think a lot of us have been there and eventually it seems to end. I never saw a therapist to discuss my crossdressing, but I'm sure it would have helped as it did with other issues I was struggling with. The big thing was talking about the issue and finding the parts of it that were becoming problematic. That allowed me to focus on the things that could give me control. Once I was in control, or at least thought I was, balance began to return and the rest of my life got a little better. Sometimes we can do this on our own, but sometimes it's okay and also very important to have help, so don't rely on us if you can't get through this on your own.

Let us know how it goes.

[kimdl93]

I did see a therapist - as the consequence of a painful divorce, and eventually the CDing came up. It helped me understand that CDing isn't "wrong", the only problem is when CDing or any other behavior disrupts your life. sounds like in your situation, the pink fog or OCD, or whatever you might call it, has begun to disrupt other parts of your life. Its hard to deal with these things on your own, and honestly, I considered the therapy a bargain compared to the alternative of doing nothing, just enduring.

My therapist's approach was cognitive therapy - which I heartily endorse, by the way.

[mklinden2010]

what?

[Michelle 51]

Never mind wasting money. just come on here and talk to us.Who understands crossdressing better then us.Only a man in panties can understand what another man in panties is talking about.Come to the sisters.

[Karren H]

The simple solution is get rid of all your clothes except one outfit and then you wouldn't be wasting time changing and changing!! And being an engineer... I don't need a therapist... I already know all the answers and if I don't... I can make them up! :).

[bridgetta]

ha!... no way!.... i have a small stash and it comes out occasionally.... its so stimulating thats its consuming.... so fun tho....

[Karren H]

Ok. Send all your stuff to me and I will dole it out one outfit at a time... God if engineers were in charge of the world there would be order and a detailed manual for everything in life and no need for therapy! Lol.

[Stephanie47]

If you're confused about your sexuality and cross-dressing maybe a therapist would help. That said, I found the biggest issue I have experienced over fifty years is acceptance by society. When I was young there was no Internet, no information readily available concerning sexuality. The Kinsey Report was behind the desk at the local library. Playboy was guarded by the proprietor of the local newspaper/candy store/soda fountain. (You older people is New York remember the newspaper stores and running down to get the One Star , First Edition in the evening?) I thought cross-dressing meant I was gay? But, a pretty girl got a rise out of me! I'm sure my wife thinks I am weird or worse. It has affected my marriage because my wife cannot accept my cross-dressing. Do I need a therapist? No! Does my wife need a therapist? Probably. Thirty years ago members of my extended family had issues of dating a black man. Now, it's no big deal! We have whites married to Mexican-Americans, African Americans and Native Americans. No therapist was needed to resolve those 'issues' other than the time it took to realize they were, well, just like us but not so lily white. I'm sure my family would be shocked about my dressing, but, after awhile they would get over it. Other people I know would drop me as a hot potato. They hate or dislike people that are not of their group-race, creed, color and origins. Do I need a therapist because I have no issues with African Americans, Native Americans, Mexican Americans, Roman Catholics, Jews and cat lovers? No.

I have to recognize I may lose friends because of my cross-dressing, if it were to become common knowledge. I realize that I do not pass, and, walking around the streets would attract unwanted attention, although the laws in my city expressly include cross-dressers in the anti-discrimination laws. My cross-dressing is private.

If you are overwhelmed with desire to cross-dress, you need to make time for yourself. When I was still working I was always frustrated waiting for the next unplanned opportunity to dress. If I had a road trip I essentially packed two bags. Yes, Halloween was a tough holiday. Now, I am retired and I can plan my dressing.

You only need a therapist, if you need to reconcile your feelings. If your SO needs a therapist to reconcile her feelings, that's OK. I do not need a therapist to tell me cross-dressing at the level I engage it is OK. And, yes, I do see a therapist/counselor for other issues dealing with the after effects of combat and killing people. And, expressing my feminine side actually helps that issue!

[bridgetta]

i have been able to deal all the years because i never had a relationship that was so great that i had to fear telling.. now i do.. my girlfriend is coming for a three day weekend.. she lives one hour from here.. tho we see each other 4- 5 days aweek... thats why i am here now working this out.... i want to tell her... but i dont... she often says things about trans.. and how she is thankful she doesnt have that problem.. she also says how she is not the type to put up with weird gender stuff.... i dont mention it.. but she talks about it... has a fascination/repulsion with it...
i just wish i could be honest.. and let her make up her own mind about it.. withouth the fear of it destroying my reputation in the world..!

there must be a solution!!

[Emily Ann Brown]

Sister...if engineers were in control, there would only be one outfit!!!!!


Em
Hallelujah for Architects

[Karren H]

Sister...if engineers were in control, there would only be one outfit!!!!!


Em
Hallelujah for Architects

Yeah but it would fit perfectly and come with a manual! Lol. Architects are engineer want-a-be's that can spell but couldn't hack the math! :D

[kimdl93]

The simple solution is get rid of all your clothes except one outfit and then you wouldn't be wasting time changing and changing!! And being an engineer... I don't need a therapist... I already know all the answers and if I don't... I can make them up! :).

Sounds more like an Economist to me. If you are dealing with an unknown - just assume an answer.

[mklinden2010]

That again.

[Karren H]

Sounds more like an Economist to me. If you are dealing with an unknown - just assume an answer.

God your good!!! Been doing new project and M & A economics along with the engineering for 25 years.. Guess it shows? Lol.

[docrobbysherry]

Sounds like sex, guns, drugs, and rock and roll to me.

Hey, knock yourself out. You'll go nuts until you get enough of it and then you'll slow down.

Yeah. Then you'll probably wonder why some times you're in the mood and some times you're not.

"Normal" will start to seem boring - even normal things like wearing skirts and heels...

All a shrink is going to do, assuming you are otherwise healthy, is help you manage your life so that you're functional in terms of eating, sleeping, making a living, and able to enjoy your life enough to stay on the planet.

As long as you're not charging up $10,000.00 a week on blouses, you're probably OK.

And, don't worry about losing sleep - nature will even that out for ya.


There is no "solution" that will change things very much - only efforts at clarifying things so that you can see clearly through things to what matters.

In a sense, the "solution" is the muddied situation you're in - a muddy glass beaker that needs some kind of settling agent to get the solid particles out of the way. The clarifying agent is you, and the words you use to talk about yourself, so that your SO can "see" you as you entirely are. Which, to some people, is not that bad at all.

You're in a dating situation. Dating is about trying people out and learning about yourself and others in the process. You're probably going to screw this up - which is OK because you're probably going to screw it up somehow, someway, anyway.

That's dating my friend. You have enough bad experiences and one day you think, "Hey, this one is not so bad..." Then if she feels the same way, you go on together for a long time, maybe forever. Happy couples are happy to be out of the dating rat race... And, glad to have each other. Otherwise, they have to try again. Some do anyway.

You can try to bring up topics to discuss, and things to do and see how it goes. Don't expect her to jump at the chance. All my SOs were more or less fine with me all my life, but I did the dating thing a lot and "learned when to hold 'em and learned when to fold 'em."

Do all the normal stuff and see how things go this weekend. Try a few off the wall things and see how she responds - and how you respond. People just want someone they can have a good life with, have some fun with, get problems solved with. It's not all fun and games, but there should be joy in just being together.

Good luck with that dating stuff. It takes guts, time, energy, money, and feelings.

It will all work out, if you work smart and keep working everyday. The best thing you can do is listen, by the way, and see if you like what you hear. Anyone you wind up being with a long time is going to be around a lot...

And, remember, nobody really expects perfect - they'd be really happy with "very good."

Go for good all around and see how it goes.

It's taken me over 60 years to figure out SOME of the things MK has written about so succinctly above! About dressing, relationships, and LIFE!:brolleyes:

She KNOWS of which she speaks! Listen, and LEARN!:straightface:

[vickilynn]

I saw a therapist years ago during a divorce. Every thing I talked about was used against me in court, so I dont have much trust in Therapists.

[bridgetta]

Sounds like sex, guns, drugs, and rock and roll to me.

Hey, knock yourself out. You'll go nuts until you get enough of it and then you'll slow down.

Yeah. Then you'll probably wonder why some times you're in the mood and some times you're not.

"Normal" will start to seem boring - even normal things like wearing skirts and heels...

All a shrink is going to do, assuming you are otherwise healthy, is help you manage your life so that you're functional in terms of eating, sleeping, making a living, and able to enjoy your life enough to stay on the planet.

As long as you're not charging up $10,000.00 a week on blouses, you're probably OK.

And, don't worry about losing sleep - nature will even that out for ya.


it is that.. .true. true... once in a while.. if the time is right.. its rock and roll.. rebellion.. good for everyone to go for it.. i dont know any guy that would not want to deep down.. most are too afrraid...

[Loveday]

I don't trust therapist either, my marriage therapist now lives with my ex-wife. But then again, they deserve each other.

[Christina2008]

Between this site , dressing and shopping, that’s enough therapy for me.
Don’t think I could afford anymore, well ok maybe I’d stretch to some beauty therapy.

[Jorja]

Yeah but it would fit perfectly and come with a manual! Lol. Architects are engineer want-a-be's that can spell but couldn't hack the math! :D

oooooh, you know me so well :D

[rocktheplank]

I know what you are talking about Bridgetta, when I dress I want to stay en femme for as long as possible! I want to look at all my options (thought I dont have many yet) for what to wear and accessorize with.

I suppose the best thing to do when it comes to letting your significant other know is to tell her before you get deep into a relationship. I wasn't sure how my, now, wife would take the idea that I like to wear underwear, but I started off with that and little by little, more and more came out until we are where we are today. If you are serious about her, you should let her know. If she can't take it and throws her hands up and leaves, then maybe it wasn't meant to be in the first place.

Let us know how it turns out!

[Proteus]

The waste of time is a problem for me too. Not being out with the neighbours does pose a few problems. It makes the night time the dressing time, and it throws off my whole schedule.

[TiffanyTgirl]

Figure out who you are and then talk with someon if you need to. Be honest with yourself and try not to live in denial. Lot's of good advice here and there are of course therapists.