Question for the women (GG) in this forum

[Pythos]

So I just broke things off with a girl that has honestly been trouble from the start. I was just too blind to see it.

During our "relationship" she bemoaned how I was not dominant enough, or assertive enough. I have known this to be problem of mine as well, and it has been getting worse. So I go against my nature and try to be more of those qualities.

Well she then tells me she doesn't like it. Fine, fair enough.

So then she says she would like me to wear jeans more often. So, the next few times I am with her I am in (growl) jeans. She then is upset that she doesn't get to see me in my leggings anymore. (WHAT?!!!)

Finally she says to me she is not comfortable around me, and that is about when I said good bye. She had never said anything hinting that. So I kinda realized this was some sick game or something like that.

This is not the only time I have heard of or personally experienced this behavior, usually from women. What is it, in some women's rearing that has them adapt this maddening behavior?

I was nothing but kind, and nice to her, I never made any unwanted advances. Was that the issue? Was it that I did not "move in" on her fast enough? I really don't get it. and I would love some input from GGs

[ChristiesGurl]

Of course, your idea of sexuality is much more fluid than hers...she seems stuck in gender roles. For myself I don't need to have a dominate male, nor do I want what typically is called a "sissy" male. I think that I could share the roles and while I would like my partner to show interest in initiating sex, I don't need to have them be dominate in bed either.

Not knowing her of course, I can only speculate, but she 'sounds' confused. Or that your sexuality confuses her. I know when I discovered how powerfully attracted I am to Christie (my gay friend's drag persona) I wondered if I was gay, still am confused about how I feel, especially because it is the type of feeling I havn't had for a long time (dry mouth, short of breath, not able to string two words together...desire. LOL) if ever.

I really struggle with the desire part of it especially. I always want to see Christie in a dress. No jeans or leggings. Maybe she was trying to cover you up so she didn't have to feel attracted to your female persona? And maybe she just wasn't comfortable with you because of that.

Now, for myself, I can speak. Christie is very sexual and enjoys the fact that her actions can wind me up, so to speak. This to me shows dominance on her part. I enjoy it, but I'm not sure that I would like her to move in on me... I'm still trying to figure out my feelings and while she makes me breathless... I'm still coming to terms with it. I think I would be worried that it was a one time, sucked down into a vortex of desire, and then it would be over.

One think I think would be vital is talking. Every step of the way. Nothing short of complete honesty. One thing that gets in the way for ME, is that my history makes it so that I have a HUGE fear of my honesty making someone walk away. It I say something that would make someone upset I would hope they would discuss it with me rather than throw up their hands and say, "F_ it!" And I think most people would say, 'Why do you feel that way?' but some wouldn't and right now fear of losing M. is making me back up and think before I push too hard.

Last night I told him that his male self lacked a bit of sparkle, since he hasn't been en femme in a couple of weeks. He said, "Nah." and pretty much closed all subjects of discussion for the night. This morning has been quiet too. :-(

So total honesty is not always possible, but as much honesty as possible is good.