Did anybody want to be a ballerina growing up?

[katrinakat]

I've always have. I loved how pretty & femme ballerina's looked. The pink tights, hair pulled back, the make-up. I was totally jealous.

I used to go to adult ballet classes, in ambiguous femme(light make-up) etc; I would wear either black or nude tights, leotard with an oversized cute shirt that draped over my shoulders, with short shorts and sometimes leg-warmers. Needless to say I was one of maybe 2 males, which was fine. My goal was to emulate the women.

I bought some really cut pink satin ballet shoes, so Amy Winehouse. lol
I bought point shoes as well but they hurt SO much! More a novelty, considering I had no ballet experience, but I loved the pink satin ribons!

After class a few of the girls and I would smoke a cigg. We chat about ballet mostly.... they'd give me pointers on posture and female ballet gestures. It was so much fun. Sometimes we would go out to eat or get coffee (apparently ballerinas seldomly eat.
Naturally, I'd get some looks but what do u expect. 3 girls and a guy, wearing similar dance wear, sitting outside, drinking coffee & gab-ing about this and that.

Actually, all the attention gave me more confidence. We would laugh and joke around. I miss those days. Fyi, my ballet career lasted all of 3 months. I moved and have never danced again.

[DeeInGeorgia]

In the 7th or 8th grade I took a year of ballet. I wanted to wear a leotard but was only allowed to wear a tee shirt in addition to the tights and dance belt.

[Leelou]

My love for ballet and ballerinas developed later in life. I took a dance class in my mid-30's and it was great. First time I'd ever worn tights in front of anyone. The class was full of younger women and they were totally supportive of having me there.

I've been to a bunch of ballet performances since, many at a very high level--Pacific Northwest Ballet in Seattle. They're one of the best companies in the country. The ballerinas are fantastic and the costumes are amazing. And yes, I'd love to wear tutu or dance skirt. I did buy a pair of point shoes for myself but as you said, they're torture.

[Empira]

Hello Kat!

As you can see by my avatar, I have always wanted to be a ballerina! I could (and have) written pages and pages about wanting to be a ballerina and my fetishistic obsession over tights, leotards, unitards, dance skirts, slippers, pointe shoes, etc. I am not sure exactly WHERE my fetish came from but I do know that it started around the age of five.

After years of crossdressing in secret, I had to follow my urges and take a ballet class. I waited until I was 16 as I wanted to be able to drive myself to the classes. That first class, I didn't wear tights (though I certainly had them) but wore jogging shorts. It was a thrill and nerve-wracking at the same time. I took classes for almost a year and unfortunately, I stopped as I was beginning to worry what classmates in my smalltown school would think and say. Stupid! I was offered a scholarship by the school, but I didn't go for it.............. One of my biggest life regrets.

In college (after my dreams of becoming an aviator in the Navy were crushed), I took classes again, but was never as good and natural at dancing. I went to film school in NYC and took classes there as well. On and off, I continued classes when I moved to Los Angeles and actually got to be pretty good. I even lived-out the dream of taking pointe classes! It was very painful but a dream I could not resist pursuing! For ballet classes, I never got edgy with my dancewear, opting for the typical for men, black tights and a leotard under or Tshirt or occasionally a unitard. I didn't wear anything overtly feminine though over the years, I saw some guys who did in class, but it didn't give me encouragement to do likewise. The pointe shoes however, only came in pink and I never bothered t dye them. It was a right of passage, with bloody socks and blistered toes and bruised toenails that loosened and fell off. It was WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!

But, I got a girlfriend, moved through a couple of states and went to graduate school and any classes were intermittent and then non existant for years.

Recently, I put a barre in the basement with mirrors and TV w/DVD player and have been slowly resuming my own training. In my own studio, I often dress in my collection of feminine tights and leotards, often mixing my feminine dancewear with the masculine.

WOW! I rambled on about ballet and didn't get into how my secret shameful fetish for dancewear made a jump into "drag" and crossdressing in public and clubbing and becoming "Empira." I did write an article for an issue of Girl Talk magazine about a friend who heads up a company of all male dancers that perform as ballerinas (He was a former member of Ballet Trockadero De Monte Carlo and now heads Les Ballet Grandiva..... google them and check their websites!). I summed up the article with something like, "You are LIVING the dream of so many others!"

But, for me it started with a childhood desire, looking at the little girl's ballerina costume when I was five ans said, "I want to wear THAT!!!!!!!!!!!"

Empira

[Jeannie]

Never wanted to be a ballerina but I did so love to watch Ginger Rogers and all of the female dancers of the 40's. They were always so beautiful and graceful. I loved the clothes they wore. Just so beautiful. I guess maybe deep down inside I wanted to be like them.

Jeannie

[eluuzion]

No, but I often thought that boxing was just like a ballet, except in boxing... there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

Ok, sorry, I just couldn't resist that one...just shoot me...:o

:love:

[Karren H]

Funny though I grew up going to ballets, I never really considered them to be that feminine... Enough so to want to emulate one and the way I dance..... Visions of a cows in tutus dance through me head..

[Kate Simmons]

Yeah, still do in fact. The problem is I'm not one much for discipline and I'd have to do it freestyle.:)

[Aaron Zwidling]

I can't say I ever wanted to be a ballerina, though ever since I was young I've wanted to dress like one.

[diannecourtney]

You know as a late cd bloomer, I cannot explain how I got involved. But you give me reason to believe it was envy of the ballarina that turned me over, such a subconcious.

[Donna June]

I'm kinda with Jeannie. Though I did want to be a ballerina I really wanted to be like Ginger Rogers, Cyd Charise or Ann Margaret. How they dressed and moved was wonderful.

[Chiana]

When I was a young boy I secretly tried on a pair of pointe shoes. Boy I really wanted to do the whole thing......... until I actually tried to stand on my toes. It hurt like H*LL. So now I just try to imitate that gorgeous tutu look. Empira, you look amazing. I am so jealous.

[sometimes_miss]

Nope. For me it was expecting to grow into becoming a girl, and I wanted to be a cheerleader like the girls' uniforms that I was wearing. Ballerina would have been nice, I guess, until I found out how it destroyed your toes.

[PetiteDuality]

My first feminine experience was with a ballet book I found an my house when I was around 6 years old.

I remember locking in my room, trying to emulate the movements in the book and feeling a thrill about it. I also remember locking the door and in fear of being discovered, as if it were something wrong.

Not crossdressing, but very very close to crossdressing, respect to the feeling it brought to me.