Calling "Traci" - Where Are You? Who Are You?

[Traci Elizabeth]

This morning I had an early lab appointment to get all of my blood work done for my HRT doctor at a different lab (Damn! those Estadiol tests cost more than all the other blood work I had done today combined).

So I walked into the lab and the place is packed. I walk up to the window and there is no one sitting there but a sign in sheet was on the counter so I singed-in as "Traci" with my male name in brackets (yes, I know I NEED to get that changed soon!).

I turn to find a seat and there was only one left - between two guys. So I sat down. I looked around and out of about 20 people (we are all sitting in a "u" shape with everyone facing each other) only two other women were there. So I am thinking "oh this is really going to be great, the nurse is going to come out and in front of all these people call me by my male birth name.

I was all dolled up as I have been 24/7 for quite a long time now. I had a Bright Pink spandex type turtle neck top on (yes, I love loud pinks), tan jeans, knee-high lace up (and zipped up) tan high-heel boots and a chocolate corduroy jacket.

Within a few minuets, I hear "Traci" from the front desk. I walked up and there was an older woman behind the counter. She is looking over the appointment sheet and said "ma'am, I don't see your name (thankfully in a low volume voice). So I stuck my arm into the window and pointed to my name. With out looking up she said, "but that's a guy's name." Before I had a chance to respond, she looked up again at me (and then it hit her) and said, "Oh, now I understand."

So then she handed me forms to fill out and wanted to know "how I was paying."

So I go and sit back down thinking "oh, this is not going to end good!"

I waited at least a half hour and lost myself in deep thought. The nurse came out and called "Traci." Well my chair was a fair distance away and I really didn't hear her. So several people said, "Traci, they are calling you." Dazed, tired, and hungry (I had to fast), I jumped up almost dropping my purse on the floor. And looked at the people who hollered my name and shrugged my shoulders and said, "I couldn't hear her" and they all chuckled.

Well the rest of the story was uneventful other than the lab tech asking me if I wanted "Traci" put on my lab results for my doctor. I said yes but you need to include that "other" first in brackets.

She actually entered me in the computer that way.


So have any of you been in situations where you "HAD" to identify yourself with your "male" name when everything else about you screamed "WOMAN?"

[Melody Moore]

Traci, luckily I don't have that issue anymore since all my documentation & ID is now in my new name, but I want to tell you about something I did do when I had to go to my doctor yesterday. At the consultation with my doctor we were discussing my Oestrogen & Testosterone levels which are all good, then we were talking at lengths about my intersexuality and she took blood to analysis my chromosomes. She also gave me a referral to get my pelvic region scanned with ultrasound.

At the end of the consultation my head was in another place because finally Im going to get the answers to some life-long questions regarding my true sexuality. Well she presented a Medicare form for me to sign and without really thinking, I just signed it. After I left the clinic I had the most terrible thought that I might have actually signed the Medicare form in my old male name because I didn't really think about it like I normally have to do when presented with something to sign. So who knows what I did? if they have an issue with it because my male signature is different to my female signature, then no doubt I will hear from them. Oh well, 'that's life' I guess LOL.

[Faith_G]

I sold a car, bought a car, and sold a gun all while presenting female before my legal name change.

Everyone was polite, discreet, and professional. :)

On a side note, training yourself NOT to react to your old name is even harder than learning to respond to your new name.

[pamela_a]

I understand that confusion Traci. I was full time for 7 months before I got my name changed and it did cause a bit of confusion for people.

Melody, I think I had the perfect solution for your signature problem, they were both the same. I started using just my first initial years ago and since they started with the same first letter I didn't have to think about it.

[sandra-leigh]

On a side note, training yourself NOT to react to your old name is even harder than learning to respond to your new name.

I expect NOT reacting to my current name would be difficult for me. Words similar to my name do not occur very much in random conversation, so if I hear the tonal pattern, it is much more likely to be my name than not. As a result, I pick out my name even in the presence of noise or at low enough levels that ordinary speech would be unintelligible, or when I'm not paying attention. What I do upon hearing my name is a different question: might be some ear movement only, might be turning my head a bit, might be turning over to look, might be turning and calling out "What?" if it is a voice I recognize.

If someone calls my male name right near me, especially behind me, not looking is not easy. If hearing my male name called from a distance when I'm asleep is more likely to wake me up than having people do something at regular volumes right near me...

If someone were to call "Sandra" when I'm asleep, I doubt I would wake up.


Faith, what do you do if you are in a public place and someone who knows you calls you by your male name? Family perhaps even? Do you refuse to acknowledge?

[Melody Moore]

On a side note, training yourself NOT to react to your old name is even harder than learning to respond to your new name.
I think I've got that part under control, but with some of my best friends forget I do have to remind them that my name has been legally changed. But I will only do that for so long until I start ignoring them - its amazing how quickly they start correcting themselves and apologising when you give them the deaf treatment.


Melody, I think I had the perfect solution for your signature problem, they were both the same. I started using just my first initial years ago and since they started with the same first letter I didn't have to think about it.

Hi Pam, my problem is that I also dropped my family name because I'm so disgusted in my family, especially my father and have a totally different surname. I usually sign my whole name with just my middle initial and have my new signature mastered. I think what happened was a rare blonde moment I just didn't think about it because my head really was in another place. Another factor that I think contributed to that was I had also been in a session with my pyschologist & revisiting my former life as a male as well just before I seen the doctor.

[Faith_G]

Faith, what do you do if you are in a public place and someone who knows you calls you by your male name? Family perhaps even? Do you refuse to acknowledge?I have not had that problem arise yet.

But my birth name is very common so it's frequently heard in public. It's hard not to look when someone says it but I'm getting better at ignoring it. I don't react when I hear "sir" anymore, which is good because that's never addressed to me anymore anyway.

[Kathryn Martin]

This is a constant struggle. I guess it will only end when I stop reacting to my male name.

[Karen564]

So have any of you been in situations where you "HAD" to identify yourself with your "male" name when everything else about you screamed "WOMAN?"

I sure did, because I didn't do my legal name change until after my RLE.....so yes, it became very confusing for people in these kind of sitchuations...not to mention very embarrassing for me too.....

But sounds like you handled it far better than I did.........so Congrats !

[Traci Elizabeth]

I have got to get my name changed. I was "lucky" this time. I have a "carry" letter from my doctor but that does not help in these kinds of situations.

[Chickhe]

Well, not to diminish your full transition, I had it happen when I went to a party enfem a couple years ago. They asked for ID at the door and I totally passed because the bouncer was shocked, could not believe it and told all the other staff who came to the door to see me... it was all in good fun though. If I was ever to transition, I could use my male name, it is one of those generic ones... I hate medical waiting rooms calling out your full name...I prefer to be anonymous most of the time.

[Rianna Humble]

Faith, what do you do if you are in a public place and someone who knows you calls you by your male name? Family perhaps even? Do you refuse to acknowledge?

I know I'm not Faith, but my reaction to this partly depends upon how they say it. For the most part, I will respond but in the course of the conversation will gently remind them that I am Rianna now not Robert. I also remind them that in the FAQ I gave them I recognised that with the best will in the world they will get it wriong from time to time. Generally that approach elicits a promise to try to do better next time.

A couple of times I have had someone continue to use the wrong name and my response was "who's he?".

[Melissa A.]

Yes, I react when someone adresses me by my given name. It only ever happens at work now, and that is becoming increasingly rare. I reply with, "What's my name???"

Losing your knee-jerk reaction to hearing your old name happens surprisingly fast, after you never or hardly ever hear it for a while.

As far as doctor offices and other legal-name situations go, if you transition, you should probably have pretty thick skin, anyway. I always figured, whatever. I don't know any of these people, anyway.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Traci Elizabeth]

As far as doctor offices and other legal-name situations go, if you transition, you should probably have pretty thick skin, anyway. I always figured, whatever. I don't know any of these people, anyway.

Thick Skin? Are you kidding me, I have "baby soft skin!"

But you are right, we don't know these people and even though I enjoy throwing darts at a dartboard, I don't go out to be called by "that other" name and therefore, would prefer not to have all the darts thrown at me in the waiting room by the other patients. :D

[Danni Bear]

Answer to both male and female name. Only difference in them is the spelling Danni vs Danny. To be accurate it's Danielle vs Daniel.

Danni

[Kelly Blaine]

I am lucky since my male name is also used by females, I even have a friend who spells her name the same as mine. Even my middle name, "Kay" is female. Did my mother know something?

[Aprilrain]

My male name is unusual so it not every day you hear it like mike or John. The other day I was in a store and I heard my male name being called rather loudly. My heart jumped into my throat and the adrenal glands shriveled up like raisins but I did not react I thought even if they are calling to me I sure as shit ain't responding. After a few seconds I casually looked toward the direction that the name came from and saw a store clerk who was obviously the owner of the name. Weird and scary but I'm glad to know that I kept my wits.