Very nervous about an appointment with my Primary Care Doctor on Wednsday

[Jinny M]

Hi Everyone ,

I've been seeing a Gender Theraphyst for 3 months now. My last visit was last Wedsnday . To which I arrived there fully dressed and presenting as Jinny with a fresh hot coffee from a very busy New York Begal Co. 1st time out in public ever , other than halloween . what a rush ! it felt so liberating .

(usually I use the back door and use her restroom , get dressed and then go around front and wait in the waiting area for my appointment. been affriad to be out in public and it not being halloween)

I've been closet dressing all my life , only been out on a couple of halloweens as Jinny. My wife knows and is 100% fully supportive of Jinny.

So back to my therapy sessions. I'm now fully accepting my true self thanks to her , my wife and all the members of the forum. My theraphyst said it's who I've always truly been and that Jinny won't be going away. So she's been bringing up the subject of Hormones during our last few sessions . She said that me seeing an Endo and going on Hormones would help me out greatly and it would be the right path for me to go if both myself and wife approved . I've building up courage and confidence in myself alot lately. I've been kinda having the attitude of this is me and if you don't like it I'm sorry . My wife accepts shes the only one who matters right now. The rest of the family and our friends will come later when we're readyto tell them.

I went the Thursday before my last therapy session to get my face waxed. ( I put up a thread about that in the beauty section. ) to give me a lot cleaner and smoother look and I also got a new Lace front wig in my natural hair color with highlights. it worked out great as the swelling was down and my face back to normal , minus the hair and shadow for last wednsdays appointment with her. I decided that since I had a 1pm appointment , that I'd be able to leave the house
and get home before the kids so I could leave dressed as Jinny. On the way there I felt so good and confident that I was going to stop and get a coffee to bring with me. I stopped at the New York Begal near the local college at 12:30. It was packed with the lunch time crowd . I waited in line at the counter made some Eye contact with a couple of people. I just gave a nice smile and recieved it in return. Ordered my coffee . While paying for it ,I got a compliment on my cardigan from the girl who took my order , left her a very nice tip and headed to her office.

She had no one before me , So when I walked in the front door with my new wig , she staired for a moment , looking puzzeled ! I smiled and said good afternoon . she had the biggest smile on her face and Said Jinny I didn't hear the back door buzzer go off . I said no I left the house this way . She said you got a new wig , I almost didn't reconize you , because you looked so natural and femmine . With the way I was dressed and the new wig. So I showed her the hot coffee . She said you went inside like that and bought the coffee . I said yes I did, see it's pipeing hot. She was so happy , She said now thats what I call progress.

She said, she aready sent in her diagnosis to the Insurance Co. So she can give me a recommendation letter for Hormones. Since I'm able to use my insurance to see her. the Insurance co. has the diagnosis and now know for sure I'm Transgendered anyway .

So now to why I'm nervous about seeing my PCP this Wednsday . She wants me to let him know that I'm Seeing her and have been diagnosed as transgendered and need a referal to an Endo for a Hormone consult. He's been my Primary since I was a baby. I hope he takes it well.

I'm So Nervous , But yet So happy because My wife and I both feel it's a step foward in the right direction. I've been trying to think of the right way to tell him .

My theraphyst told me to start off by telling him that I got something to tell him but I'm very nervous and uncomfortable telling him. She said he's a Proffesional If I start off with that , he should know to tread lightly with his responces.

I've been moving foward since accepting my true self. I've kept it hidden for far to long, I'm not going to go backwards now.

How was it for everyone else telling they're PCP for the first time ? How did you do it ? What did you say? telling him is bothering/worrying me alot. I have too So I can get the referal and start Hormones the right and safe way through an Endo. Can anyone recommend a good Endocrinology Doctor In Massachusetts or Rhode Island ? I'm about 50 mins from Boston and 30 minutes from Providence


Sorry for the long Post ,

Jinny

[Jorja]

Yea Jinny!!!!! Congratulations on getting out and about as your true self.

So how did your doctor's appointment go today?

[tanyalynn51]

I hope it all went well for you. Ive found that one way to have to tell your doctor is to wear something they are sure to notice. I wore panties to a full physical. Kind of hard to not say something.

[sandra-leigh]

Here, PCP are known as GP's (General Practitioners).

Last year (2009), I was pondering whether to tell my GP. I know I occasionally thought about it before that too, from the "It might be important for him to know for health treatment", but 2009 was when I started thinking "I probably should tell him." But of course, just like with anyone else, I worried about a bad reaction.

Eventually last fall, in one of our sessions, while trying to increase my confidence, he asked me "How would you introduce yourself to someone? What would you tell them about you?" I immediately thought of here and of my facebook account and about my account on an adult site, and dithered, saying "It depends on the context". He pressed me on that, asking how so. At that point I could have tried to make up something on the spot, or I could have (uncharacteristically) told him to drop the topic... or I could give him the context about dressing and the consequent need for seperation of what I told people. Being sick of hiding anyhow, I went ahead and told him. And now he brings it up just about every time I see him... and it gets embarassing, him praising me about it all the time.

Nervous? Not exactly. Apprehensive during my thinking about telling him, but apprehensive is not the same as nervous. When it got to the circumstances to actually say anything to him, I just more or less said to myself, "Oh, what the f*ck", and opened my mouth and told him.

My situation is different, though, in that I have been going out in public since about 3 weeks after I realized I was a crossdresser. It would be hard to count the number of people who have seen me dressed or (more commonly) obviously gender-bending. I had already stopped wearing a wig out months before that conversation with my GP, and I was not shy about shopping for myself and trying things on. My GP was, in that sense, in the minority, someone I had been careful to not see me cross-dressed when the public at large already knew.

Telling him has been fine, other than him over-complimenting me on my "courage". I go to the majority of my appointments with him in obvious female clothes now, including sitting in his waiting room with his other patients, and walking in plain sight around the mall that his office is in. My dentist is now the only medical professional I deal with who doesn't know (I haven't visited my dentist in over a year I guess.)

[Jinny M]

Hi Everyone,

It went Very ,Very Well. I was way to nervous for nothing. I had stomach problems the day before from my nerves . I woke up yesterday morning before the appointment and took a xanex . that took the nerves away and settled me down. I took a shower , put on my body lotion and powder , womens deoderant and a tiny touch of perfume . I went wairing my levi Girl jeans, girl socks, panties and an old navy girls T , with my columbia coat over it all and my Sketcher shoes that pass as womens . No make up , no wig .

It was only a 6 month regular visit ,to go over my last blood work , current meds and scripts for ones that needed refilling and any complaints that I may have. I already had my physical last time I went , so I was comfortable with what I chose to wair .

If for some reason he needed me to take anything off , I would have popped the transgender thing 1st. Instead I waited to the end. we went over everything , he said very good , you stayed on your diet , your labs are great ,, he said everything looks Normal ... Thats when I saw the perfect time to tell him . I said , well I wouldn't say totally normal . he said , what do you mean , whats wrong ? I said it's actually something normal for me.. I said , I have something to tell you but I'm uncomfotable and nervous about telling you. He said dont be silly, what is it ? I'm here to help you. I said well I've been seeing a theraphyst for 3 months now and I've been diagnosised as Transgendered . he paused for a second . then he said 1st of all never be nervous or uncomfortable about telling me anything .. theres nothing you can say to shock me or I haven't heard of or dealt with. Then I said that My theraphyst , wife and I have discussed me starting hormones , So my theraphyst wanted me to make sure you were aware of my Diagnosis and my intentions.. he said 1st thing he had to do was send me to the Lab for blood work for a base line analisys of my hormone levels. He said he wanted my theraphyst to call him to confirm my diagnosis and go over things with her. he said after speaking with her , depending what she says he could set me up with the proper Endocrinologyst.. I had to sign a form and put her name on it , so that she could talk to my doctor.

I went over to the lab and got my blood drawn , by a very nice lady slightly older than I, I had my coat off of course. she complimented me on the way I smelt. I said thanks , the wife picked it out. she smiled with a big grin and then we discussed the upcoming holidays. she had such a warm and wonderfull personality . when I was getting ready to leave , she stuck her hand out and said it was a plesure to meet me and we shook hands , I said the pleasure was mine . we wished each other happy holidays . I left feeling wonderfull.

I called my theraphyst when I got home , told her what happened and she said great she would call him when she got off the phone with me. So I'll see what happens from here.

Funny thing is my wife is actually really looking foward to me starting the hormones.. She said it would be great to have me on her level , meaning from what we read about going on the hormones , My emotions will change , I'll become more emotional like she is and my hyper active sex drive will finally calm down, she said hopefully to her level. So shes looking foward to those aspects of the HRT on me, but most importantly shes looking foward to the happiness that I'll get by finally being able to go on them. I very thankfull for my wife , she is so Loving, open and very supportive .

Thanks for your kind words and interest !

Jinny

[Traci Elizabeth]

Well after reading all you have wrote, I would say you are well underway on a fantastic journey. It is great to have a supportive wife. That makes all the difference in the world. It does for me.

As far as your sex drive coming down to your wife's level, you may very well find it going Waaaaaayyyyy below your wife's into oblivion (i.e. non-existence).

Nevertheless, congrats on getting to this point!

[Jinny M]

Well after reading all you have wrote, I would say you are well underway on a fantastic journey. It is great to have a supportive wife. That makes all the difference in the world. It does for me.

As far as your sex drive coming down to your wife's level, you may very well find it going Waaaaaayyyyy below your wife's into oblivion (i.e. non-existence).

Nevertheless, congrats on getting to this point!


Thank You .. As far as the my sex drive ,,, it's way to hyper active , to the point it's a real pain in the ***.

With out going into to much details to affend anyone or violate the rules of the forum. I'll simply just leave it at this ; For what ever reason , my sex drive is like when I was 20 . it don't take much to set it off , you know the old saying watch out when the wind blows.. It truely is a royal pain. Having it go away will be a blessing , but I still need to consider the wives wants and needs .

So when I start with the Endo , I'll see what they say about it.

Jinny

[Jorja]

Congratulations for telling your doctor. See, that wasn't so bad was it?
Know you are about to start a most wonderful but somewhat strange journey. You are so lucky to have such a loving, supporting wife by your side. Many of us went through this alone. Know that there will be some pot holes in the road and it can get very rough at times. Then there will be times that it will seem like the most natural thing in the world and you will wonder why you waited so long. Also know you have all of us right here supporting you too. I wish you the best of luck and I know you will find happiness.

[Kelly DeWinter]

you will do well, being nervous when we do something new is normal, Most doctors have seen or heard it all. Small chat first, then lead into it, some great advice by others here.

[Jinny M]

Thanks Jorja and kelly ! I'm very much looking foward to this journey .

As I progress and when my wife and I feel we're ready , we'll break the news to the rest of the family and our friends.

We know theres going to come a point where things will become noticeable by others and we will no longer be able to hide the True Me ! To be honest , I've supressed and hid this side of me all my life . Now that I've learned I'm not a freak and that this is the true me . I'm tired of hiding ! But I have to keep the thoughts and feelings others ( family & close friends) on my mind for the time being.

Our oldest Daughter has 2 very young ones , a 14 month old and a 2 month old. We love our grand kids .. her husband is weird, very tempermental. never know how he'll react when it comes about , but wouldn't want it to affect me and my wife from seeing our grandsons . So for now we'll keep it to our selves.

I think the youngest daughter who is 20 might have a slight clue. One day when I came back from an appointment from my theraphyst , I was wairing my girl skinny jeans with flared bottoms and my girl sneakers , she was in the living room when I walked in , I said to myself ,, ut oh ! she wasn't supposed to be home at this time. so I said hi and walked past her heading to my room , she said with a huge grin on her face, My your looking awful skinny ! I said thanks , the diet is working and rushed to my room to change. She never said anything else after.

Then about 3 weeks ago , we all had to go to a party , she had a run in her tights . So She came and asked my wife , if she had a pair she could wair . well my wife was getting ready and busy , she really wasn't thinking cleary , she said to me can you go into YOUR draw and give her a pair of tights . I need to pick up somemore anyway. I came out of the bathroom and She looked at me and said wait why did my mother ask you to get me tights out of your draw.... I replied to her , because your mother has so much stuff in hers that her over flow goes into my bureau since I dont have much stuff. she just said OH !

when she walked out of the room my wife came over and apoligized and said she wasn't thinking , but way to go on the cover up story..

I swear my wife tries to out me some times . Because another time before that the same daughter wanted a can of soda , we keep the over flow under our bed on my wives side . usually my wife or I will pull some out when the fridge gets low.. well one day we didnt and the daughter asked my wife for some , I was outside . I heard through the window, my wife tell her to get some , it's under the bed .. I thought to myself Oh No ,, all my heels and other girls shoes are under there. I then heard her tell her mother ,, Mom you have a really lot of nice shoes under there. She obvously didn't pay attention to the size . My wife is a size 6 1/2 , I'm a 10 ..

And yet another time , my wife and I were going out and I had on my baggy man jeans , we're in the living room ready to walk out and the same daughter was watching TV and my wife says to me ,, Honey your other skinny jeans , fit and look so much better on you , you should go put those on .. the daughter just looked at me smiling , with her head tilted to the side , snikered and said Moms right .. I must have turned 3 shades of red ,, I said I'm already to go , so lets go.

my wife was like how come you got embarrased , she said Sarha didn't know what I was talking about ... I said yes she does and told her about the day ( mentioned above) when I walked in from my theraphyst appointment and she was watching TV and made the comment.. My wife laughed and OOPPPS , I didn't know she saw you in them already..

So I do think the 20 yr old daughter knows or at least suspects and my wife is trying to suttley out me.

I'm fine with either way .

Jinny

[Rianna Humble]

Sorry I didn't see this two days ago and I'm glad it went well for you.


How was it for everyone else telling they're PCP for the first time ? How did you do it ? What did you say?

Like in Canada, we in the UK call these doctors GP's. When I forst went to tell a GP about me, I too was very nervous and not sure what to expect. Unlike you, I got an appointment specifically for that. I had asked my diabetes nurse (who is also a friend) to give me the name of the best doctor to approach and she had recommended Dr Hill.

When the doctor asked me what she could do for me, I explained that this was not a normal consultation and that there was no easy way to tell her why I had come to see her. After that it just all started to come out, I told her about dreaming of my wedding at age 7 or 8 but that instead of the groom, I was the bride. I explained about years of repressing my true nature and that I had come to the point where I could no longer go on living a lie.

She asked me what specifically she could do to help and how I wanted to get out of my visit - this was done in a totally reassuring manner. I explained that I was looking for help with counselling, and ultimately to become the woman I have always known myself to be. My doctor told me I was the first person with Gender Dysphoria to approach her for help from the outset - the other patients she had treated for this were already in transition. She also asked me if I would permit her to share my journey with me, and then went on to outline what practical steps she would take.

I have seen her twice since that first visit, and each time her attitude has been as positive as the first. She is currently on maternity leave, so she has given me the name of another partner in the practice who will support me until she returns. I have now been to see that other doctor (Dr Ruglys) and she has been as helpful as Dr Hill.

There are male doctors in the practice that I hold in high regard, but I am more comfortable dealing with another woman for this.