How going out enfemme has helped me... aka: I used the womens restroom in drab today

[Karren H]

Ok.... There's been a few things in my life that have changed since I started going out enfemme... Not life changing but definitely enhancements to my life.... no mater how I'm dressed...

First - I'm more outgoing.... OK I'm even more outgoing than I used to be... I tend to speak my mind and tell it like it is, no mater who's involved and that has got me in trouble at work a few times but more often than not, it's welcomed and appreciated.

Secondly - and this may sound funny and a little embarrassing..... I could never every stand up to use the restroom... especially if someone came in... I like froze up, even if I had to go really bad it just made it worse... I would have to go run for a stall.... Now I can go any where any time in front of anyone... Which is great since I drink a lot of water and diet soda and usually have to really really really go!! lol and this is a positive thing since I'm out in the field a lot...

Now for today.... Remembering that I drink a LOT of fluids..... I was leading a tour group through some old properties and we stopped for lunch in backwoods West Virginia... The group went and used the men's room while I ordered and paid for the food... Then when I went to use the facilities some local had locked himself in there and there were a couple guys standing there looking at each other.... So I'm thinking to myself "I have not seen a woman in here since we arrived.... I wonder" and tapped on the ladies room door and opened it a crack... Yeah!!! It's empty... I looked over at the guys and they gave me this WTF are your doing... glare as I slipped into the women's restroom and locked the door behind me...

After I was done I figured that the police would be waiting outside but the two guys were still standing there as I walked by... I said "smells a lot better in there than in the men's room" lol

Now I would have never ever even though of doing that before I started going out enfemme... Like it has made more confident in who I am or something like that....

Anyone else feel an increase in self confidence from their crossdressing?? or is it just me?

[Chickhe]

You betcha! I could never stand up in front of a crowd and be the attention until I started CDing and going out in public. Perhaps it is the spandex...but a few wolf whistles will change your perspective and I not bragging (I don't look that great)...I think men do that stuff to any woman. I was scared to touch, look at most female under garments without feeling embarrased, now I man handle them like using tools in my shop...they are for utility, to hold stuff in place...mostly (I've got to admit I know quality when I see it too). I can also do makeup for my daughter's halloween costume...something my wife has no patience to do and I only picked up the skill after doing my own. Oh, and the bathroom thing...for sure, if it has a locking door and single stall, I could care less what sign is on the door... why waste my time, I've seen woman do it in a crowded bar before, so why not?

[linnea]

Yes, Karren, I have been amazed at my own boldness and confidence in social situations. I was never a wall-flower, but now, since I have come out my close family (not employer yet), I feel a greater sense of ease in social situations. It's funny that you would mention the restroom point because I have--whenever possible--sat rather than stood in restrooms. Now I'm very much okay either way (though I prefer sitting).
I think that it may be a different kind of self-acceptance; whatever it is, I'm glad for it. Thank you for bringing this up.

[Phyliss]

I really don't like to use phrases like "self empowerment" ... sounds like some sort of "self help book" sales pitch.

Something I became aware of, not really discovered, but more like a very slow change in attitude, that I wasn't anticipating. When I look back on my life about 12 yrs ago, the very thought of wearing, well hidden under heavy winter pants, a pair of undies outside, was traumatic at the least.

As I began to realize more and more that people either don't see, don't care, or are completely clueless, I pushed limits more and more. Over the last two years, since my little heart attack adventure, and last year my late wife "passing", I've taken on a "flat out just don't give a ... (you know)" attitude.

I go where I want, do as I please, wear what I choose, with no concern of comments from others.

There is an amazing freedom in being self confident. Nobody can teach it , and it can't be sold or even given away, no matter how well the "infomercial" salesperson presents the slick advertisement.

It's something we gain without being aware we have it, unless we test it and begin to understand what it is.

Being able to use a "ladies room" in the company of others, more for the practical advantage than anything else, is a prime example. No "intent" just a simple lack of wishing to suffer because of some "social mores"

[Kate Simmons]

Works for me Karr. When you gotta go, you gotta go.:)

[Sally24]

I have to agree Karen. Once you've walked thru a crowded mall with 100% female clothing on, you can do anything! I was shy and quiet growing up. Being in some organizations helped that some in the last 20 years. But I would have to say that the dressing I've done in the last 6 years has wiped away any vestige of that shy person. I still can get butterflys, but I hear many of the Hollywood greats get those too.

[Steph.TS]

over the weekend I was in a competition in front of about 200 spectators, I would have NEVER done that b4...

[Kelly DeWinter]

Karren,

I thought that was you on the local news last night.

"Local man arrested for using womens restroom"


Just kidding, I was at the Air and Space Museaum in D.C. when the large public mens room was shut dowd, The janitor said next public mens bathroom was about 2 city blocks away (Huge Washington DC city blocks), well when you 'gotta go' you relly gotta go, So I recieved the same 'glare' from the men standing around the closed mens room (Some doing the 'gotta go' jig and two step), as I loudly anounce "Man comming in !" Did my business and left. When I came out without a mark on me, The men made a stampede for the womens room.

[Chari]

In my younger days I was always shy, quiet, and an introvert! Since I started "dressing' in more feminine attire, my confidence and comfort in who I really am has increased. I too have used the womens facilities while in drab, after looking at how disgusting & dirty the mens room was!

[sue ellan]

i was at a gas and shop and had to go bad. the mens room was in use so just used the ladies room. talk about a glare. the sa gave me a look that could kill. on the same note both of the rest rooms were busy so standing in line for the little boys room and out comes two ladies. if you got to go you got to go. to me it is no big deal ether way

sue ellan

life is like a roll of tp. the closer to the end the faster it goes.

[AKAMichelle]

definitely. I was always a person who wasn't scared of much, but when I first started going out it was a period of my life where I was scared of my own shadow. Going out got me back to my old self and beyond.

[Michelle James]

I did that same thing at a salvation army store for the exact same reason. Some jerk locked himself in and I waited forever and there had been no ladies around for a long time. much different result for me tho! I was very quick, but when I got out a female employee came at me from the back room with all guns a blazen. Even though I explained about Lot's of water, the diuretic I take and my urgent need she just kept railing me. "We don't allow men in the ladies room". If she only knew how many times I had been in that exact room en femme. LOL

[Alice Torn]

Yes indeed. I have used ladies rooms, a number of times, when I gotta go bad!

[Alice Torn]

Oh, , but like you, always check to see if its empty first!

The ladies room is not always the cleanest, lest smelly. As a janitor yrs ago, at a restaurant-night club, i often found the ladies room worse!!

[Lainie]

I used the ladies' in Starbucks and in a local restaurant recently for the same reason, but was en femme both times. I would never try the ladies' if the gents' were available, drag or drab (I never pass...mustache...). But really the issue is communal or private, not M or F. If there is a private room with a lockable door, how is a public place different from the unisex restrooms we all have in our own homes?

Is this a sign of improving equality of the sexes? I remember when there was always a line at the ladies, never the gents...

[docrobbysherry]

There r a few fast food places near my office that I frequent often. All with one holer locking rest rooms. Some people LIVE in there, but I'm never in them long. Yuck!:sad:

Using the Ladies Rest Room, I DO get some odd looks occasionally. The other day, a guy was waiting for the Mens Room. I zipped into the empty Ladies Room, washed up and left. He gave me a look when I went in. Then, used the same Ladies Room after I left!:devil:

[Loni]

when nature calls. it is a no brainier, you must answer it.
i have not had the chance to use the womans in drab, only dressed. and i have to try and remember how i am dressed.

[Laura Jane]

At the end of my old firm's christmas do in a set of plush function rooms, I wondered off to have a look around some of the other now empty rooms and wondered into a rather cavernous Ladies, pleanty of leather chairs, vanity mirrors and rather nice wood panelled stalls, which I decided I could definately use! Whilst seated I heard two ladies come in and use the stalls next to me and then take a few minutes to touch up their make up! Its wrong to eavesdrop, but they did rather graphically describe what one of their boyfriends does in bed!

[JohnH]

Let me get on my soapbox.

If a restroom is a one-holer there is no sense in distinguishing between men's and women's.

If a restroom is more than a one-holer then there are ways to make that restroom usable for both genders at the same time. Simply extend the partitions of each stall more toward the ceiling and the floor for privacy. Have a walled off section for urinals for men only.

We read about how women have to wait a long time to use restrooms at sport stadiums and other public places. If men's restrooms were equipped as suggested above women could use them in a pinch, and it sure would be less awkward for us when we are dressed.

[JulieC]

Anyone else feel an increase in self confidence from their crossdressing?? or is it just me?

Great story and all, but has it helped your hockey? :)

[Karren H]

Great story and all, but has it helped your hockey? :)

Not really that much... I still shoot like a girl! :)

[Kerrie Sifton]

We are all too hung up on girls vs guys.... i was in a japanese restaurant and in a hurry, got distracted talking to a a friend as we were going in to the washrooms, as the signs were not specific, but inside noticed just two stalls, oh well must be some japanese thing! I closed the door and did my business, my friend went in to the other stall and did his with the door open, when on my way out (after washing my hands of course) I met a woman coming in who saw my friend in the open door stall and backed out. On his way out she happened to mention that he should close the door next time... ha ha.

[Angela Rose]

I have nearly always found that the ladies restrooms(toilets in UK) have always had a longer line (Queue in UK) than the gents(Mens in UK) so as a man I can't use the ladies. In Amsterdam recently whilst enfemme I had to line up behind 50 or more GG ladies to use the restroom while the gents was available without any waiting, but I was scared to use the gents whilst enfemme and so had an accident. Fortunately I had a spare pair of panties which I was able to put one when I finally got into the ladies. Ah well never a dull moment.

[Juliemckay]

As for the potty... I use the mens 99% of the time (except when out en femme). Why? no lines.


As for other changes, I noticed quite a few small things and one or two greater things. I have always been the 'presentation guy', the out front representing the group. Since I've ventured out, I am getting to be far more measured in my speech when in front of people. Far more chatty when around friends. I also find that I now select clothes (en drab) instead of just putting on the next thing in line. One of the weirder things is; now I pay attention to how i'm standing, walking and my posture, all the time

[Jenny Doolittle]

Yes. Yes, and Yes.... I could not agree more Karen.

[Sarasometimes]

I have found that I give more compliments and start small talk with, usually women in line or in passing. Great topic. I must add that the mystery of the ladies room has been uncovered for me as well so that probably gave you the ability to enter the Forbidden World. Warning, in NJ many years, ago a young lady was arrested for using the mens room do to the long line at the ladies.But that is NJ for you!!!

[flatlander_48]

Not really that much... I still shoot like a girl! :)

Hmmm... Seeing a pattern here...

Anyway, to answer your original question: I'd say that crossdressing was the second wave. The first wave was coming to the understanding that I am bisexual. Once that happened, a lot of stuff relaxed. For example, I have always been conscious of how I walked. I've had an arthritic ankle since I was about 7 and that limited range of motion caused me to walk with a bit of a swish. I certain situations, I was VERY deliberate about how I walked, lest I be thought of as something less than male. Others have said that the coming out process is very liberating and that it feels like a weight has been lifted. I would even add that it felt like my posture improved. SO, after I came out to myself and some select friends, what I noticed was that my walk was much more relaxed. Sure it reverted sometimes, but most of the time I was not trying to force fit myself into a pretzel.

As I began to do some crossdressing and a LOT of underdressing, things shifted again. It's fun to peer into my lingerie drawing in the morning and decide which thong and panty girdle I'm going to wear. If my butt looks sort of girly or I walk sort of swishy, that's just how it is. It's not worth turning myself inside out just to adjust to someone else's notion of maleness.

[Karren H]

Whilst seated I heard two ladies come in and use the stalls next to me and then take a few minutes to touch up their make up! Its wrong to eavesdrop, but they did rather graphically describe what one of their boyfriends does in bed!

Lol... Kind of fun... Like doing recon.... I've had that happen more than a few times when out enfemme... The worst was when a pregnant girl came in and started throwing up in the stall next to me... Ewwwwwwww...