Drag or En Femme?

[BeckyAnderson]

I was just reading a thread that asked how long one spends in drag. I thought to myself I don't dress in drag, I dress en femme.... Drag reminds me of the Jerry Springer show types where as en femme reminds me more of dressing like a woman.

How do you all feel about these terms and how they are used?

Hugs, Becky

[Rhonda Jean]

I suppose it somewhat depends on the context. I probably wouldn't respond well to "drag queen", but for the most part, drag, en femme, in fem, all get the point across. I don't get hung up on semantics.

[Stephanie Miller]

I'm kind of with you Becky on this one. Since "drag" was congered up from the term "drag queen" whereas the true meaning - to me - of a drag queen is to pretend to be a woman for entertainment purposes. And en femm - to me - for the most part means to emulate a female.... then I associate with femm and look upon drag as something much, much less than a ladies everyday standard of living.

[Karren H]

I'm not fond of drag or gurl or any word that has even a hit of a demeaning sound to it.......

[Paula G]

I agree. Drag has a lot of baggage attached to it. I prefer just saying that I'm dressed.

[Polly R]

I suppose, looking back to the early days, it was 'drag' - the clothes I had were positively horrid. At least now, as I've matured - and I should add, with the help of my somewhat understanding SO, I have at last developed a more sophisticated look in which I could pass 'en femme' (though haven't had the courage to go out in daylight yet, perhaps one day soon)

xx Polly R

[Alice B]

To me "drag" refers to over the top dressing, often to imitate a star, such as Dolly Parton. It is a form of extreme presentation and not general dressing as a female.

[msniki48]

Becky, i'm with you here girl. i don't know that drag is a negative term, but more used for theatrical dressing heavy makeup for the lights etc. i feel i dress en femme, more like the woman next door. it does not matter if its jeans and top or an evening dress...en femme does not look like drag. So i see a difference.:battingeyelashes:

[Kate Simmons]

Who or what one considers themself to be is the important thing.:)

[Samantha B L]

drag or enfem. It's all the same to me. Me and my freinds called it "dressing" twenty years ago. We didn't say "drag" usually. I never heard of "enfem" until I started to lurk this forum around 2004 or 2005. That's the term I use in the forum and under most circumstances I say it because it's understandable to the general CD community at large. I suppose "drag" and "drag queen" are somewhat demeaning. Like "colored" instead of African American or "Oriental" instead of Asian. Yet if you think about it,drag queens seem to be very sarcastic and assertive and up to task in general and you don't think of them as,on the whole,demeaned.

[katrinakat]

Does it really matter? It's ambiguous? Most people don't even know the difference. I'm sure we all do because this is our life! Try not to get caught up in semantics. Be yourself and know who you are! Obviously, you're not some uneducated person looking to exploit yourself and those around you for 15 minutes of fame on Jerry Springer. Love all your sisters, and embrace them unconditionally
much like you would like others to accept you.

xoxo KatT

[Christy_M]

well i never thought negatively about Drag by itself because I thought it meant DRessed As Girl (DRessed As Boy for Drab). That describes what I do...if it is offensive, I'll stop using it.

[Melanie Bryant]

I'm dressed or just being Melanie

[Frédérique]

How do you all feel about these terms and how they are used?

I know some define “drag” as dressed-as-a girl, but I define the term to mean caricature, over-statement, ridicule, making fun, over-the-top, laying it on thick, just for laughs, and not making the slightest attempt to “pass” or embrace certain feminine characteristics. By these self-evident definitions, I wish to inform everyone that I spend ZERO time in drag…

[BRANDYJ]

I don't like the term drag used to describe a crossdresser. It does have that Jerry Springer mentality attached to it. Like tranny or sissy they sound disrespectful to me. I consider the source and don't make an issue of it, but it's not a nice term.

[renee k]

Becky, i'm with you here girl. i don't know that drag is a negative term, but more used for theatrical dressing heavy makeup for the lights etc. i feel i dress en femme, more like the woman next door. it does not matter if its jeans and top or an evening dress...en femme does not look like drag. So i see a difference.:battingeyelashes:

I'm with you too! It does not accurately describe how I dress.

Renee

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I find myself usually saying "girl mode," when I talk about dressing up fully. I do think of drag as being a very specific type of crossdressing/performance art, and en femme is something I use more in writing than spoken conversation. Since I usually dress as a guy in a skirt it doesn't come up as much. I tend to not correct people when they do say drag but I try not to say it myself.

Because when I dress in girl mode I feel a little like I'm in character, I've taken to referring to it as "putting the girl on."

[msginaadoll]

I regard Drag as a form of art or acting. I for one am not good at either. I generally say dressed to quantify my time as Gina. I as a whole dont get too hung up on wordage(not sure if that is even a word). The term Drag does not insult me, however I think as of now I dont have the talent necessary to be a drag queen, or even the desire- thats not me. However it might be fun for a night- kind of like Halloween.

[Mary Morgan]

Apples and Cumquats! Drag has a real flavor to it that I find has nothing to do with my crossdressing. Of course opinions will vary, but I'm with you. I do not consider my efforts to emulate women as drag, and I do not want others to refer to my efforts as drag. I have no problem with drag, but it "aint" me.

[Briana90802]

Please forgive me. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. I was meaning drag as dressed as a girl. Or at least that's what I thought it meant. Doesn't DRAB mean DRessed As a Boy??? :idontknow:

See now I'm trerribly embarassed. However it seems that no matter what you say it upset someone.

Again very sorry.

[BeckyAnderson]

Briana, please don't be embarrassed and definitely don't feel like you have upset anyone. Hugs, Becky

[CharleneT]

Please forgive me. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. I was meaning drag as dressed as a girl. Or at least that's what I thought it meant. Doesn't DRAB mean DRessed As a Boy??? :idontknow:

See now I'm trerribly embarassed. However it seems that no matter what you say it upset someone.

Again very sorry.

No insults were taken, it is just a word. It's meaning will change over time, no matter what we think ;) In popular culture right now drag refers mostly to a performance involving cross gender impersonization. Just for the record, I'd never heard the use of "enfemme" till I got here.

[Raychel]

They are all just another differant set of labels.:heehee:
Although I think of DRAG as kinda being over the top, The big hair and the sparkling gowns.

I just dress as me. Not really looking like a girl, or an over the top DRAG Queen. Just an ugly old guy dressing like he likes. :daydreaming:

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

To me the term "drag" as in drag queen simply means over the top, taking the micky out of dressing as the opposite sex, exaggerating the femininity in make up and feminine gestures as used in the entertainment industry. When used in context, the term "drag queen" does not bother me and drag queens I find quite interesting as entertainment when it is intended for entertainment. Giggling, earlier on when I was a novice at makeup I may have been seen more as a drag queen than a crossdresser but practice makes me better as I seek to simplify transitioning. Unfortunately some people loosely use the term which to us who take the CDing seriously feel it is demeaning. But alas, it is just a mere name that should be like water off a ducks back.

[docrobbysherry]

"Potahto, and/or, potayto". They both taste EXACTLY the same to me! Lol!

[Michelle James]

For me the term Drag is offensive. For that matter I feel the same way about "Tranny". Both are terms that low life knuckle draggers would use when referring to us. Since I am Michelle I am simply dressing as I should. Why put a label on it?

[Frédérique]

For me the term Drag is offensive. For that matter I feel the same way about "Tranny". Both are terms that low life knuckle draggers would use when referring to us.

Tranny doesn't bother me, but drag is derogatory to women, and it’s derogatory to MtF crossdressers who are making a huge effort to express themselves in a more restrained manner, emulating their particular definition of femininity. Is it any wonder that outsiders have a difficult time grasping the essence of what we do? Drag is the accepted face of MtF crossdressing, and it’s a misleading and highly inaccurate term that does us a lot of harm. You can almost hear “them” say: “Surely you can’t be serious?” That’s what you’re up against…
:sad:

[NathalieX66]

Drag to me is RuPaul and his wonderful teleivision show. Its all for show.

Going out en femme is being a woman amongst society. Been there/done that. I am getting closer to living it.

Hi Becky....you are an inspiration, you tuly are. I hope to see you again on December 18th.

[rocktheplank]

I've got a thick skin, so drag doesn't bother me at all. I prefer en femme or dressing to drag, but it's just a word to me.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

This thread makes me giggle a bit, I know I already contributed a bit, but I love how different perspectives can be. I used to post on a forum for men who wear skirts and I left there because frankly they were all a little too thin-skinned and insecure for my liking. The word "crossdress" was a very touchy subject amongst them, and some of those guys would even go so far as to say the term represented fetishists and sexual deviancy and was demeaning. So it's amusing to me that people here in this thread talk about how things like drag and tranny represent fetishes or deviancy or are demeaning to crossdressers.

[JustineFallow]

I just don't like the word 'drag' purely because of the sound; the blare of a car horn comes to mind. ('DRAAAAAAG!') But I absolutely don't take offense or umbrage if it's used to describe how I dress.

[RachelPortugal]

Who or what one considers themself to be is the important thing.:)

I totally agree with Denise.

This whole labelling thing always seems to stir up lots of opinions. Another recent thread by DanniBear asked if those of us in this part of the forum could consider ourselves as actually being FTM, as we could perhaps feel that we are females trapped in male bodies. This set my thought processes going.

As I believe that all men have a feminine side within, which those of us here, choose to set free by wearing female attire and make-up etc, it really does lend weight to an argument to use the terms DrAG and DrAB (leaving aside all the adverse connotations derived from media enhanced "drag queens"). As we have both male and female personas, we therefore cannot be crossdressing, we are merely portraying one of our personas.

Just my two-penneth worth.

[Jennie1975]

Hello again all,
Being as I have just recently "come out" in my home community, to my exwife, and to most of those around me. I can say I have heard it all in the last few weeks from transvestite, drag queen, crossdresser etc. I have to say for me the are all labels and I for for one hate labels.
the best response I have had to date was "Mom who is that girl?". Those five words spoke from the mouth of an tweenager were the biggest compliment I have ever received in all of my 35 yrs of life.
I used to wear mens clothes all the time, now I wear womens clothes, makeup and perfume, what does it really matter. My friends change both her and his clothes, hair, peircings and whatever else whenever they feel like it and there's need for a label then.
I think labels are limiting and mean. For whatever it is worth if you are going to label be sure you understand fully what other people take from your label.

Just a quick edit: When I am talking with friends just for ease of convesation I refer to myself either as jenni or patrick to define what "mode".

[dominique]

To me when I dress I'm en-femme, hate the term drag as it demeans us and labels us as show offs, which some might be. The vast majority will blend in and act as women to the rest of the public.

[Sally24]

"Dressed in Drag" to the general public gets the idea across quickly. With us within the community it has many other meanings and colorings to it. I do like the inverse which is Drab. Really defines the feeling many of us get when we have to wear boy clothes.

[Dawna Ellen Bays]

I prefer "en femme" or "girl mode," or even "girled out." I've always associated "drag" with outlandish attire and makeup...

[t-girlxsophie]

I spend most days Dressed either when Im home from Nightshift or off work,I can get two or three days together as Sophie,I have a day or two off from Dressing every week so my Wife,can spend time with her man,I try not to take my Wife for granted,even tho I have had a cpl of "pink fog" moments.I'm so lucky to get as much time Dressed as I do

:hugs:Sophie

[erickka]

It seems to not matter nowadays, whatever we say WILL offend someone. To me, "labels" belong on canned goods, not on people.

[audreyinalbany]

yeah, but some terms are just kind of unpleasant. the term "drag" strikes me as perjorative, while 'en femme' is less insulting. Similarly, I've never cared for the term 'transvestite,' and absolutely despise "tranny." While potato and po-tatt-o are indeed the same, with slightly different inflection, 'tranny' and 'crossdresser' are definitely different and carry significantly different implications.

[alice clair]

I am with Becky on this one. I dont like the term drag either. And i don't watch Rue Paul.

[t-girlxsophie]

Ive been called "Tranny" by many of my friends who dress,I really dont see a problem with it,though I know It can be used in a Derogatory way by haters,It wasn't till I joined this site that I found a lot of dissent to the word "Transvestite" that I really can't understand

:hugs:Sophie

[crossdressed4fun]

I dress en femme as well, drag is such a not sexy word. drag queen are great performers but are not passable as a real female. femme is more every day sexy classy women style, which is what i want to be :) so i agree with you.

[Jilmac]

I'm with you Becky, I think drag is a more flambouyant style of dress portrayed by entertainers and tabloid media to sensationalize our lifestyle. I prefer to dress en femme to blend in with everyday people and not be singled out as a freak.

[Sarah Doepner]

The whole application of specific labels and terminology has to be seen from in-group and out-group perspectives. We, being more aware of what we are doing see much greater distinctions than those who don't know us.

When I began moving toward accepting my crossdressing I was dressing in Drag. It was superficial, only getting at the look. Since then I've tried to get a little more understanding about the differences between the masculine and feminine, making me think En Femme is more appropriate in that it better describes the combination of both the surface and inner transformation that is going on.

Do I think I could get Big Dan the hairy man's man to understand and use En Femme instead of Drag, Fag, Wierdo, Perrveerrrrt or some other even less acceptable term to describe me? Not likely.

[Hayley 09]

I'm kind of with you Becky on this one. Since "drag" was congered up from the term "drag queen" whereas the true meaning - to me - of a drag queen is to pretend to be a woman for entertainment purposes. And en femm - to me - for the most part means to emulate a female.... then I associate with femm and look upon drag as something much, much less than a ladies everyday standard of living.

Thats very well said and I totally agree. En femm sounds much better than drag to me.

[SherriePall]

I prefer to say en femme or getting all dolled up. Drag is one of those words which used to have a more innocent meaning, but times have changed and is now a word which gets an emotional response. I take no offense by it, however.

[AKAMichelle]

I dress en femme. I don't do or performances.

[suchacutie]

As I mentioned in the thread from which this thread is based, DRAG to me is DRessed as A Girl, and DRAB is DRessed as A Boy. If drag is used as an adjective, one has someone dressed as a girl for a purpose (the noun that follows the adjective).

I'm also not nonplussed about tranny or trannie as it could easily be short for transgendered.

The fact here is that we don't know what people mean by these terms since there are so many connotations. Given that, it's probably a good idea that we steer clear of these as much as possible with each other in order to minimize sensitivities.

For me, I have no issue with being en femme, drag, t-girl, trannie, or trangendered. Tina could be all of those things, or she could just be the feminine side of me :)

be happy, everyone!

tina

[Rianna Humble]

A few people have mentioned that at the origin drag was only the opposite of drab, but these things can take on a life and a meaning of their own. Now the majority of people hearing drag would think of the OTT performance artists.

I must admit that recently, I use "dressed" more often than any of the other terms already mentioned in this thread.

It is interesting that depending on which side of the pond you come from, some will see TV as negative and CD as positive and others will see it the other way around.

As Shakespeare nearly said "A rose by any other name will still prick your thumb" :eek:

IME, the more common abbreviation for transgendered is "trans" rather than "tranny" - a term I have most often heard from haters.

[carhill2mn]

I prefer "en femme" to drag. However, there are some who equate "drag" to be "DRessed As a Girl" and "drab" to be "DRessed As a Boy" without any derogatory meaning implied.

[juno]

Unfortunately, words often build up social baggage that affect the original meaning. Some people here think that "sissy" just means a feminine male, and others (including me) implies a weak, cowardly male. Originally, "transvestite" meant someone who wears clothes of the opposite gender. Now, many people take that to actually mean "transvestic fetishism", and now use the term "cross dresser".

Personally, I take DRAG by itself to literally mean "DRessed As Girl", a generic term including everything from the man-in-a-dress look to a DRAG Queen. I consider en femme to be a man dressed very feminine, aiming toward passing as female. Obviously, opinions differ significantly.

Note that "en femme" should be in italics, unless you are writing in French.

[VictoriaP]

I agree 110% Becky. I love the term "en femme" and have used it ever since I saw it on this message board. I never thought of myself when dressed as in "drag". I love the way I feel when dressed and en femme pretty much says it all for me.

[sherib]

I was just reading a thread that asked how long one spends in drag. I thought to myself I don't dress in drag, I dress en femme.... Drag reminds me of the Jerry Springer show types where as en femme reminds me more of dressing like a woman.

How do you all feel about these terms and how they are used?

Hugs, Becky

No I'm not a Drag Queen. I just want to be feminine sometimes and and not stand out.

[2B Natasha]

I know some define “drag” as dressed-as-a girl, but I define the term to mean caricature, over-statement, ridicule, making fun, over-the-top, laying it on thick, just for laughs, and not making the slightest attempt to “pass” or embrace certain feminine characteristics. By these self-evident definitions, I wish to inform everyone that I spend ZERO time in drag…

With you 100%.

[kimdl93]

I don't really like the term "drag". That connotes a more flamboyant presentation. Not what I'm looking for.