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View Full Version : I came out to my sister



Kathryn Martin
11-17-2010, 07:11 PM
I have one living parent, my father, two sisters and four children and my parents in law.

This past weekend I began coming out to them beginning with my older sister. My sister is a good person but sometimes difficult especially when it comes to "secrets" being kept from family members. We have had a secret of similar weight in the past and she did not handle it well.

Since my Dad and my sisters are across the Atlantic I had to do so over the telephone. It is both frustrating and painful in itself. You cannot look into the eyes of your listener and all you have to convey your message is words. And sometimes words are too light.

Since Sunday, she has written me two emails. The first was somewhat skeptical, the second showed her reflections on this revelation and finally yesterday she left a message on my phone telling me that she loved me very much and that she will support me fully. She offered to help with others in my family when the time has come.

I will be coming out to my children before Christmas. I am worried about the boys (32 and 26) especially. It is hard if you have modeled yourself as a man on your father to find out that maybe he was more feminine than masculine. They both are wonderful husbands and the older is a good father. I hope that this will not unsettle how they see themselves.

Does anyone have advice on how to tackle this?

Karen564
11-17-2010, 08:58 PM
Sorry Kath, I wish I could offer some advise there, but my children (girls) were much younger....I'm sure someone can offer their experience after telling older children (men)..

That's good news about your Sister though...
My brother & sister who are much older than me , were good about it at 1st, last year we did the holidays together & everything & I thought I had it made, but over time they did a 180 on me.... This year, I had to tell my Mom that I wont be going to the Thanksgiving dinner this year because of my sister being there...It's the 1st time in my 50 years that I wont be at that dinner....which broke my Mom's heart & mine too, but she understands that I don't want to get into it with my sister & ruin the day for everyone, it was my choice & I believe it's for the best...maybe in time, my siblings will come full circle, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen..
As far as my Mom, she has been great & been getting more & more accepting as time goes on..she sure did have her ups & downs with it at 1st & to be honest, I expected that, but never expected her to take it as well as she did on the night I told her face to face....as far as my Dad, he passed in 1989..

I wish you all the best on coming out & I know it's far from easy, in fact it was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do !! especialy since I used to be the manly man.....but somehow we do survive through it all ..:hugs: