Where do I start?

[Christine Abrams]

Okay, so I've been in Seattle for a year; a big part of what drove me to this city is being transgender.. Yes, I know I'm big, and the brows are scary, my hair's a nightmare and I'm not the daintiest person by any measure, even among troglodytes...


But still, no matter how much I tell myself I have no business doing so, I keep trying to dress, walk, talk and even think as much like a woman as I can. No matter how many times I'm taken for a sexual deviant, shot down by potential friends who just can't accept my masculinity (neither can I!), all the pain, all the rejection, frustration, tears; none of it can make.. me.. quit.

I've had two positive encounters along these lines; one with a good friend of mine who was from Cali, and a very nice-seeming middle aged gentleman at a laundromat who obviously liked what he saw... which I only figured out in hindsight. He wouldn't let me out of a conversation easily, and had this strange smile.. silly me, I'm so used to rejection that I don't know a good thing when I see it, or apparently understand the whole butterflies-in-the-stomach thing.

So anyway, I seem "blessed" with a strong feminine aspect to my nature.. I know many who saw my profile pic are laughing their rears off right now, and I understand... looking at me, at myself in that and other pictures, I'm personally smirking not-too-kindly at it all.. I mean, who the **** do I think I am?

...I was going to ask for some pointers, maybe where to start my new life as a woman, because that is why I moved to this city, why I've been turned into the posterchild/hate object for people in this neighborhood who can't accept the homeless, six months after I rented a place to live and call home...

But, no. I won't, not because I don't need it, God knows I need it as much and more than anyone; but because I don't think I'll get it. Sadly, I speak from experience.

Well, thanks for reading... I'm going to change into my cheap rhinestone Route 66 pants and crappy Van Heusen top, do a little research on the look I want and probably mope... thanks for reading my little diatribe, sorry to waste anyone's time... just needed to vent.

[Sarah Doepner]

Hang in there. Sometimes venting or even crying is good for the soul. And continue to look for those who will support you, so you won't have to be concerned with the opinions of the haters in the neighborhood.

[AKAMichelle]

Your photo doesn't bad, but just that you are in your journey. It is scary getting started and sometimes it takes a lot of effort to keep trying, but eventually it will pay off. Keep rolling girl

[Tranny Tee]

I am amazed at the level of acceptance I receive while dressed. People generally treat me as they would treat anyone else. When I am out dressed I treat others as I normally would and engage in normal conversations, and in return I am treated with decency and respect. I do not pass, I am 6'3" and over 300# with male mannerisms and a deep voice. Of corse I occasionally get rude comments but not very often and for the most part I am invisible to other people, very rarely do i see anyone staring at the fat guy in a dress.
When dressed I have a thick skin and am prepared for rude comments but am eager to interact with others. Acceptance, I believe is not a result of nice clothes, an expensive wig or perfect makeup but because of the attitude one presents.

[BonnieAlexander]

I look at your picture and I say your on your way. It attitude hon, its how you feel to yourself. It worked for me and fears fade away. Bonnie