Should Lisa go to church?/Update

[lisa marseau]

Early Sunday morning and wanting to go to church. If I go to my same old church... Not going to happen (as Lisa). 20 miles away there is a nice new church that might be looking for new members. I am Presbyterian and in the 'ol South. Carolina that is. New church is in Charlotte, N.C. Maybe more accepting. God knows how I am. No problems there. It's the people.
I know when it comes to religion there can be more controversy the politics. I would like to know the pros + the cons. Like pro glorify God. Con Getting my ass kicked. Etc.

[MJ]

call them up and ask the church if they are affirming or accepting of people from the glbtq community better safe than sorry

[LeannL]

Lisa,
I have gone to (Catholic) church on many occasions as Leann and while I can't claim that I did it for the right reasons at the beginning, I have thought about it quite a bit. You really haven't directly mentioned your motivation although you give a hint. IMHO, going to church dressed because it is a place that women get dressed for is not appropriate, however, going because you wish to worship as the person you are is fine. I spent quite some time praying as Leann asking the Lord to help me understand who I was and what His purpose for me was. It did help me come to some internal understanding and I continue to ask God for further direction.

I do have several rules for when I go. I generally try to sit off to the side of the church. This is in part due to the fact that if I find that I have become a distraction because I was read, I will leave. I believe this because my presence should not prevent others from doing what they came to church to do. This has happened a couple times although not recently.

Going to church dressed is something that has become a part of me when I get the chance. It is important for the believers among us to come to an understanding of why we are the way we are with our Creator as He is the one that created us in his image (If you let me speak of the Christian perspective.) I have found that it has help me in my journey and encourage you to do so if you feel this will help. As a matter of fact, I went to Mass on Friday morning before I went to work. I just felt like I needed to go as Leann and so I did. I live across the street from the church so it was easy to come back and change my clothes for work.

I hope this helps you in your journey,

Leann

[lisa marseau]

Thanks, The reason is that this is one more thing that is on my list to do. I am almost "full time" except for work and if the economy was better I would already have that one under my belt. Church is a "Biggie" for me. I do not dress for the shock factor or sexual gratification. I dress for... Me. This is who I am. I guess my fears are the "Red Necks". The church like all churches I have ever known are open to all that want to worship. That's what they all say anyway.

[MJ]

but if they don't show the pride rainbow flag and don't say affirming you could have a tough time do they have a web site?
the church i go to is very gay friendly rainbow flags outside you can't miss them
be safe enjoy
god bless

[stacey.eyes]

Siegel Avenue Pres. in Charlotte is very open and accepting.

[Stephenie S]

Although I guess it's possible, I find it VERY hard to believe you would get your a** kicked in a Christian church. I mean how "Christian" is that? And why would you want to be a part of a congregation that felt that kind of behavior was a proper way to worship?

I agree, call the church and ask if they are gay friendly. Don't mention who you are or what you want to do because you will, I assume, want to be as unobtrusive as possible when and if you actually do go. But if they say yes they are gay friendly, you can be pretty sure they are really a Christian Church and really practice the love and acceptance that Jesus Christ taught. Then you may have found a home for your spiritual side.

I also agree that it would be wrong to go to church "dressed" just for the shock value or the excitment of "doing" it. Stay home for that.

S

[Rogina B]

There may be a Unitarian Church in Charlotte...do an online search. If there is,you can COMFORTABLY go there..But either way,the Bible beaters won't beat you up...stares and silence is their only weapon!!

[Stlalice]

Lisa,

If you don't mind a recommendation, might I suggest that you try the Metropolitan Community Church? There is one in Charlotte and while I don't attend there I can safely say that you should have no problems at all - MCC churches are very LGBTQ friendly and you will be safe and welcome there. Many years ago - the first time I ever went out as Alice, it was to an MCC church service here in St. Louis. Was I scared and nervous - very much so - a gerbil on speed would have been more calm - but if they could make me feel safe and welcome and then I know that the MCC in Charlotte will do it for you. It is a tradition at MCC that all who come in our doors will be made to feel safe and welcome. If you need more info check out the links below.

http://www.newlifemccnc.org/

http://ufmcc.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolitan_Community_Church

[Christinedreamer]

I have met and talked with Rev Troy Perry, the founder of the MCC. He is a Pentecoastal "Can I get an AMEN?" type of preacher. He has preached at our MCC church here in Whittier Ca. many times and set about to make the MCC open to everyone without exception.

The whole purpose of the MCC to to practice what Jesus taught, not what the political "Christians" want to push as an agenda. BTW, MCC is open to EVERYONE including vanilla but accepting straights, CD, TG across the spectrum, gay, bi or whatever. They also practice an open Communion and as they say "you don't have to be a member of THIS church or ANY church" to partake of Communion. And in most MCCs you find a very personalized Communion not just a dunk and drink.

[JohnH]

With my values I make it a point to not expand my fashion envelope when I attend the Divine Service on Sunday morning - I always am dressed en homme. I am there to worship the Lord and not to make a fashion or society statement - mine being to protest the double standards that apply to men and women.

Everybody is different. I'm simply making a statement about my beliefs.

[Lainie]

Www.UUA.org can help you find Unitarian Universalist Congregations in your area. Look for "welcoming" congregations. That means they have been certified as intentionally open to GLBT people. Darwin & Jefferson & Dr. Seuss were Unitarians, and the UUs are serious about making you welcome.

[Kate Simmons]

Unitarians and MCC are very accepting of diversity, just a thought.:)

[Fab Karen]

If you want safety & to be embraced for being who you are, go to an MCC or a Unitarian. As others have said, you can enquire before going to know just what a particular church REALLY thinks, whether or not they actually practice what they preach.

[Nicole Erin]

Why not go to a Southern Baptist church dressed as a cheerleader?
make sure and go on a day when they are gonna preach about hellfire and brimstone.

[JenniferB]

Thanks, The reason is that this is one more thing that is on my list to do. I am almost "full time" except for work and if the economy was better I would already have that one under my belt. Church is a "Biggie" for me. I do not dress for the shock factor or sexual gratification. I dress for... Me. This is who I am. I guess my fears are the "Red Necks". The church like all churches I have ever known are open to all that want to worship. That's what they all say anyway.
Unless you pass 100% without question, I'd be very careful unless it's a GLBT affirming church.

[Christinedreamer]

Unless you pass 100% without question, I'd be very careful unless it's a GLBT affirming church.

Good advice. I went to what I THOUGHT was an open minded church here in Palmdale, CA. I was in drab at the time. It had the praise team and stated in all the literature how open they are. In the middle of the "sermon" the preacher/leader starts in on the evils of homosexuality and gay marriage. I was so tempted to stand up and tell him and the congregation that what they were preaching was hate and Jesus would have had NONE of it, and "You owe Jesus an apology". Instead I waited till everyone was standing for a song and walked out, never to return.

[SuzanneBender]

There are plenty of affirming churches out there. I would ask some of your friends within your local TG community. I bet you will find that more than one attends a church that is accepting.

[NathalieX66]

If you want safety & to be embraced for being who you are, go to an MCC or a Unitarian. As others have said, you can enquire before going to know just what a particular church REALLY thinks, whether or not they actually practice what they preach.

Unitarian universalists are quite accepting.
I have been invited by members of my support group to join their UU church, some have gone en femme. Only problem is their church is an hour & a half drive for me. The church is very in support of LGBT causes and marriage equality. There's a T in LGBT , you know.

So I am joining locally. The only reason I have not joined yet is because I am a lazy procrastinator.

This is a very important issue for me because my mom and second husband are Unitarians ( & marrried by a lesbian minister.....her partner was also at the wedding , btw). This will make it easier for me to come out to them this holiday, and tell them I am transgendered, though not transsexual.

[Roberta Marie]

Lisa,

I am also a Presbyterian. While my Pastor knows that I am TG, and has no problems with it, I have never attended our church because I am not out in my community. However, I do attend a United Church of Christ church about 20 minutes from home on a somewhat regular basis en femme. The UCC web site can tell you which of their congregations are welcoming and affirming.

Bobbi

[Nikki A.]

I attended a MCC church here in Pa and found it to be very accepting and uber friendly. Again I didn't do it as a fashion statement but Nikki really wanted to attend church and worship. Of course it did help that I knew that there would probably be a person or two there that I could lean on for support if I lost my nerve.

[AKAMichelle]

I find it appalling that you have to change your beliefs because you are transgendered. When raised as a Presbyterian, you don't want to go to an non-Presbyterian church. Unfortunately, that is the price we must pay for us until you completely transition.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I promise myself not to post on this thread. But what the heck..... I was a minister, then the divorce ending that, then the church telling me I was going to hell.

I would love to go to church in my best Sunday outfit, but my option is that I would be going for the wrong reason. We got to church to worship and gain strength for the Holy Spirit who is more feel in large groups (I find). Em is there what ever I wear.

Okay...now I have say it. Now to pack up and find a new group.


Em

[Jilmac]

I believe that any church that calls themself Christian should welcome any person to worship no matter how they dress, thier manner of speech, sexual preferance, lifestyle, or ethnic background. But alas, some so called Christian churches are very narrow minded and judgemental of those who don't fit their criteria. Every denomination teaches that the Lord walked amongst commoners, sinners, thieves, and I'm willing to bet, those of alternate lifestyles, and He welcomed all of them into his flock.

I've never had any experience with Presbyterian churches whether north or south, but I have attended services dressed as Jill at Lutheran, Episcopalian, Catholic, and non denominational and have been totally accepted at all of them. If you feel that the church in NC will be more accepting then go for it. If they turn out to be non accepting, try a different denomination.

[AmberM]

I'm a proud member of the United Church of Christ (UCC), the most liberal of Protestant denominations. We were the first to ordain a LGBT person in 1972, and we are among a great number of denominations including The Episcopal Church that are open and affirming to God's gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered children. No matter who you are, and where you find yourself on the journey of faith, you're welcomed here :-)

[Christinedreamer]

Sadly most churches have lost the REASON they exist and WHO they are supposed to be teaching about and emulating. They have also forgotten who Jesus took as his disciples. They were not exactly "priestly" folks.

[VickysBFF]

FWIW: It depends on what type of service you attend and how well you can pass. I've gone to Mass dressed and got some dirty looks and comments because the structure of the Mass is such that people are bored and don't listen to or participate in the service and as a result spend their time looking around, etc. Other parts of the service such as exchanging the sign of peace, having to walk up the center aisle for Communion, etc. really put you out there unless you sit in a corner and avoid any contact with others.
I haven't attended any other churches except for one non-denominational church and my experience there (in drab) was that if you are a newcomer you will be approached and greeted so if you are trying to "fly under the radar" so to speak it may not be a good idea.

[Laura Evans]

I often attend my church in drag but sit in a different location then when in drab to avoid being seen by the folks that see me in drab and may make a connection. I may have been read but I have not seen any obvious reactions by members of the congragation. I won't bother with any advice since it seems the other girls here have given you plenty.

[lisa marseau]

Ok, after my previous thread about going to church
(http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?143717-Should-Lisa-go-to-church)
I decided in the end not to go at all. As another Sunday approaches the question is still there.
As I have always been told "Never to bring up religion as it almost always brings out the worst of people." I do have to say that I actually expected worse.
I got everything from not to do it as it is disgusting to someone suggesting that I go dressed as a cheerleader. Wait. What? I do not nor does anyone else (that I know of) go to church to "Make" a fashion statement. All I want to do is praise the lord just like every one else.
Is it just me or is it that all the positive replies were from north of the Mason Dixon line and all of the negative from below?
The problem for me isn't The church or the preacher or even God (He knows me better then I do). The problems starts after church! Some people cannot get their minds around something different. I do not go to church or anyplace else to stand out. I like to blend in and most of the time I can do a fair job. I do appreciate all responses. I think I will try one of the suggestions about going to a Presby church in Charlotte.
Wish me luck!

[Loretta]

To me, church in itself is a sacrilege to God.

But I'm not going to get everyone all wrapped up in That.

Do what you want. If you haven't already done it, remember that you will be outing yourself to your entire community.
On the other hand, I've always been of the camp of "**** everybody else's opinions of me, I'm going to do what makes me happy!"

So if you truly feel as if you want to, do it. There is nothing stopping you except fear of things that might not even occur.

[TessaGirl]

Well, have more or less drifted away from church/religion myself, but that`s not the subject of this thread. I would say do it if you want to, though
does sound slightly extreme tbh :)
Of course there are presumably many traditional people who think that only formalish dress is right for church (some dislike jeans or anything), would God really care though?

[sissystephanie]

Not at all sure what Tara is referring to in her opening statement, but I am not going to go into that. I am a Catholic convert. That means that I was an Episcopalian and converted to Catholic after I got married many years ago. In years past I attended Church many times as Stephanie. My late wife did my makeup and fixed my wig so I did not look at all like the man that I am. Now that she has passed on, I no longer go as Stephanie since I am lousy with makeup and my wig. I do go as a man, but wearing my usual lingerie! A Priest once told me that God doesn't care what you wear, as long as you are clothed decently!

I do agree with Tara doing what makes me happy, not every one else! If you feel like going to Church dressed, do it. It is your life, not other peoples!

[MaryAnn40c]

I was a photographer working with churchs all over North America....what I saw behind the sense would make most people sick. I was turned off the church because of what went on....fathers playing with little kids,fathers having sex with married women or sisters,church goers cheeting on each other ect... Feel free to go as you are ...at lease you are true to everyone!

[GaleWarning]

Jesus was not too impressed with the clergy in His day, either.
It's implortant, I believe, to be able to distinguish between Christians (who are fallible) and the Church (God's love is infallible).
I wish you well in your search for a congregation where you are made wlecome, Lisa.

[Kelly DeWinter]

To me, church in itself is a sacrilege to God.

But I'm not going to get everyone all wrapped up in That.
What a slap at people of faith, ZCould have done without this part of your post.

Do what you want. If you haven't already done it, remember that you will be outing yourself to your entire community.

On the other hand, I've always been of the camp of "**** everybody else's opinions of me, I'm going to do what makes me happy!"

i would be more inclined to consider other peoples opinion as valuable.

So if you truly feel as if you want to, do it. There is nothing stopping you except fear of things that might not even occur.

...