alexia85
11-23-2010, 02:49 AM
I'm too tired to write a story, so here's what happened today in a nutshell:
Woke up, got dressed as my male-part, went to work, ran some errands, came home, showered, got dressed as Alexia, then made something to eat. This has pretty much become my ordinary weekday routine...
Anyway, I was fooling around with my camera, when I took a picture of myself at some angle I've never hit before... And when I looked at it, I was shocked to see my Mother starring back at me...
I guess this shouldn't really come as too much of a surprise... Like, I am her son... and generally, kids take on a mixture of facial features from their parents... But in my case, it seems I got all my features from her, except for my ears (which I HAAATE, and cover up with my hair, lol). Thanks for the contribution, Dad...
So I went and dug up a picture of my mother from when she was younger (about 30-35), sitting in nearly the same position as I was in the picture I took. Put them both into photoshop, resized them to be the same, put them side by side, and... I must have starred at those pictures for 20 minutes straight... Aside from the hair, which was totally different, our faces were nearly identical except for the chin, which actually only differed slightly. My eyes are a little bit narrower, and my eyebrows are just plain sinful but really - at the end of the day, our faces looked the same... We even had the same slightly crooked smile... :heehee:
Anyway, long story short (and if I remember correctly, I said I wasn't going to write a story...) This filled me with confidence, as my face has been a huge worry of mine when it comes to "passing..." ..Like, it's my face, and I'm a guy, so it's a guy's face.... Right? I guess I'm wrong... I must be. The photo's look the same... Maybe it's just me...
Regardless, at about 12:30 am, I was preparing to revert back to my male form (which I hate doing...) and hit the hay, but as I started walking to my room, out of nowhere, I got this crazy impulse telling me "just go out!" Like it was no big deal or something... I started thinking about all the possible outcomes and consequences of someone on the street or in my building seeing me, and it all just seemed so "Meh *shrug*" Like... what are they gonna do? Tell their neighbour theres a crossdresser in the building? And then the whole building knows? And people are gonna look at me funny in the elevator? And So? So What?
So I put on my fake "Ugz" and my winter vest, over top my lululemon pants and purple turtleneck (i love that shirt!), unlocked my door and out I went. :eek:
I kept my head up, and my shoulders back with my hands in my vest pockets as I walked down the hallway, past all my neighbours doors, towards the stairs. And down I went, full of giddyness and excitement. When I got outside, there were cars passing by on the street, and a bus letting off a passenger.
As I cut across my building's front lawn towards the sidewalk, keeping my eye on the passenger (to see which direction they were going to walk), I stepped right into a puddle of mud!! ARGGH. Screw the boots... these pants cost me $120! :Angry3:
The passenger went the opposite way, and I continued to the sidewalk then down the street in my muddied boots and pants. I lit up a smoke and walked down the block and around the corner. A few seconds later I heard a car coming from behind me. As it came closer I turned away from the street and looked at the houses, so he wouldn't really get a look at my face. Wouldn't you know it? The car pulls onto the sidewalk right infront me, literally cutting me off, into his driveway. As he passed me, I accidentally looked right into his eyes. Holy crap... I was totally petrified, but just kept walking, and once I got a few houses further down, and I realised this guy probably had no idea I was a guy dressed as a girl... I was okay again.
I lit up another smoke (security blanket), walked the rest of the way around my block and continued down the next street. That's when I saw a lady walking a dog heading in my direction, maybe 30 yards away.. All I could think was "I really want to walk past her with a smile on my face" but this overwhelming fear came over me, and I quickly pulled out my phone, acted like I got a text message, and promptly turned around and headed back at a slightly accelerated pace (to make it look like I forgot something, or something like that....) I guess I was nervous she might say Hi, and I would feel the need to respond, and I can't 'cause I haven't trained my voice, etcetc.... I didn't know how I would react. So I wussied out.
Anyway, I made it back home, safe and sound. No other encounters along the way. Nobody in my building saw me (I think, anyway). I was outside for a total of about 20 or 25 minutes. And now my pants are hanging to dry after a thorough washing...
So yeah... I went out! Yay! :)
THIS HAS BEEN THE WILDEST WEEK EVER!!! :D
Woke up, got dressed as my male-part, went to work, ran some errands, came home, showered, got dressed as Alexia, then made something to eat. This has pretty much become my ordinary weekday routine...
Anyway, I was fooling around with my camera, when I took a picture of myself at some angle I've never hit before... And when I looked at it, I was shocked to see my Mother starring back at me...
I guess this shouldn't really come as too much of a surprise... Like, I am her son... and generally, kids take on a mixture of facial features from their parents... But in my case, it seems I got all my features from her, except for my ears (which I HAAATE, and cover up with my hair, lol). Thanks for the contribution, Dad...
So I went and dug up a picture of my mother from when she was younger (about 30-35), sitting in nearly the same position as I was in the picture I took. Put them both into photoshop, resized them to be the same, put them side by side, and... I must have starred at those pictures for 20 minutes straight... Aside from the hair, which was totally different, our faces were nearly identical except for the chin, which actually only differed slightly. My eyes are a little bit narrower, and my eyebrows are just plain sinful but really - at the end of the day, our faces looked the same... We even had the same slightly crooked smile... :heehee:
Anyway, long story short (and if I remember correctly, I said I wasn't going to write a story...) This filled me with confidence, as my face has been a huge worry of mine when it comes to "passing..." ..Like, it's my face, and I'm a guy, so it's a guy's face.... Right? I guess I'm wrong... I must be. The photo's look the same... Maybe it's just me...
Regardless, at about 12:30 am, I was preparing to revert back to my male form (which I hate doing...) and hit the hay, but as I started walking to my room, out of nowhere, I got this crazy impulse telling me "just go out!" Like it was no big deal or something... I started thinking about all the possible outcomes and consequences of someone on the street or in my building seeing me, and it all just seemed so "Meh *shrug*" Like... what are they gonna do? Tell their neighbour theres a crossdresser in the building? And then the whole building knows? And people are gonna look at me funny in the elevator? And So? So What?
So I put on my fake "Ugz" and my winter vest, over top my lululemon pants and purple turtleneck (i love that shirt!), unlocked my door and out I went. :eek:
I kept my head up, and my shoulders back with my hands in my vest pockets as I walked down the hallway, past all my neighbours doors, towards the stairs. And down I went, full of giddyness and excitement. When I got outside, there were cars passing by on the street, and a bus letting off a passenger.
As I cut across my building's front lawn towards the sidewalk, keeping my eye on the passenger (to see which direction they were going to walk), I stepped right into a puddle of mud!! ARGGH. Screw the boots... these pants cost me $120! :Angry3:
The passenger went the opposite way, and I continued to the sidewalk then down the street in my muddied boots and pants. I lit up a smoke and walked down the block and around the corner. A few seconds later I heard a car coming from behind me. As it came closer I turned away from the street and looked at the houses, so he wouldn't really get a look at my face. Wouldn't you know it? The car pulls onto the sidewalk right infront me, literally cutting me off, into his driveway. As he passed me, I accidentally looked right into his eyes. Holy crap... I was totally petrified, but just kept walking, and once I got a few houses further down, and I realised this guy probably had no idea I was a guy dressed as a girl... I was okay again.
I lit up another smoke (security blanket), walked the rest of the way around my block and continued down the next street. That's when I saw a lady walking a dog heading in my direction, maybe 30 yards away.. All I could think was "I really want to walk past her with a smile on my face" but this overwhelming fear came over me, and I quickly pulled out my phone, acted like I got a text message, and promptly turned around and headed back at a slightly accelerated pace (to make it look like I forgot something, or something like that....) I guess I was nervous she might say Hi, and I would feel the need to respond, and I can't 'cause I haven't trained my voice, etcetc.... I didn't know how I would react. So I wussied out.
Anyway, I made it back home, safe and sound. No other encounters along the way. Nobody in my building saw me (I think, anyway). I was outside for a total of about 20 or 25 minutes. And now my pants are hanging to dry after a thorough washing...
So yeah... I went out! Yay! :)
THIS HAS BEEN THE WILDEST WEEK EVER!!! :D