Why the hatred?

[kay2]

Walking down the street wearing a long plain skirt. Otherwise total drab. This is a common way of dressing for me, and often go out that way. I usually get no comments whatsoever, and often not even a glance. When I do get comments they are compliments. However, today I got 3 comments from men on the sidewalk.

1) Antichrist??

2) Beautiful!

3) Wearing a f***ing dress!!

The first was said with a sense of humor, the second sounded genuine, but the third was said very loudly and very angrily. This is hardly a new topic here, but I am truly baffled as to why people get so angry about something so inconsequential. A goth kid with a shish kebab skewer through his head doesn't elicit a comment, but a guy wearing a skirt is the greatest threat to life on earth since the comet that killed the dinosaurs.

[darla_g]

i suppose this is just not considered socially acceptable in today's society. Just say F**k 'em!

[Kiera79]

I look at it like this, say nothing and keep it moving. As long as you are happy no one else matters.

[Melinda Jean]

Unfortunately the reality is that what we are and do is still quite unacceptable to the "normal" world out there. Hopefully someday before I become old and feeble this attitude will change and we will become accepted but i have serious doubts. All the things that are now socially accepted that weren't a few short years ago does give me hope though.

[Stephanie Anne]

You do know people like that are hanging on to reality with a very flimsy string right? the normal majority of people either don't care, think it is perfectly fine, or have actually been raised with enough manners to keep their mouths shut.

The 1% who are mind numbingly stupid really should not be outside unsupervised.

[kay2]

Oh, I've received lots of great comments over the years, and I've listed many in previous posts. Men tell me that they wish they had the courage, women thank me, ... This rare hostile reaction doesn't really bug me, but it does baffle me.

[Danni Bear]

hatred is an ugly word.

unelightened,uneducated,loud-mouth bigot, yes

spouting off and trying to hurt someone, yes

the response that 99% of them never expect is YES, THANK YOU FOR NOTICING

that sends them back into their holes to hide and try again with another they think is weaker
enough and they give up

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR WORLD WHEN YOU ARE OUT.

[ReineD]

He probably has a lot of negative things going on in his life and is full of fear. Who knows? Unhappy marriage, job loss, loneliness, worries over the economy, maybe his child is into drugs, or maybe he is. Maybe he sees his world going to hell in a handbasket all around, so now he is rebelling against anything that is foreign to him. It's not easy to be open-minded when one lives in fear.

[eluuzion]

I am not concerned about dogs that are barking. I am concerned about the ones that are just growling...those are the "biters", lol.

Dogs bark to issue a warning or at things that scare them. Humans are similar. I seldom worry about suspect #3 in your "lineup". As a general rule...the louder a person yells, the less chance there is of him taking any action. The louder a person gets in an argument, the smaller the intelligence becomes...lol

The only important questions in life are those that you ask yourself. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. There is no law requiring citizens to respond to ignorance, lol. You only have to endure it for a few seconds...he has to live with himself for a lifetime...lol.

Life is too short to worry about those with dysfunctional social skills trying to ruin your day.

:love:

[Byanca]

I am not concerned about dogs that are barking. I am concerned about the ones that are just growling...those are the "biters", lol.

Dogs bark to issue a warning or at things that scare them. Humans are similar

haha, true that.

I presume he expects everyone to be like him. Some people inflate their ego by dragging others down. This is what makes them feel good. Just as beeing pretty and liked is what make many of us feel good. People are different I guess.

[Christine Abrams]

Okay, it's a little bit of all of the above, plus this:

A central part of the male psychology is "f**k that". As in, if it's pretty, on two legs and has an opening between said legs that's compatible with what's between theirs, then you "f**k it".

Now, imagine how such an individual feels about someone who is biologically male, and is presenting a feminine image.. The hind brain, so well trained from hours, days and years of obsessing over football and other sports, posturing to look bigger than other like-minded people around them, and "f**ing dat"... it jumps forward, takes control of the vocal faculties and issues something very much like your comment #3.

Really, I personally try not to be too concerned about it; mostly I'm just very annoyed and really, kind of feel sorry for him...

EDIT:
Seriously hun, it's just the fragile male psyche at work.. don't worry too much about it, they really can't help it.

[t-girlxsophie]

There must be something lacking in themselves,If they gotta pass comment to a stranger,why don't they just get on with their pitiful hate ridden little lifes and leave others to get on as functional members of Society.Most ppl would probably find more issue with these cretins,than they would with us as we just get on with our lives.actually It should always make us feel better knowing that imo

:hugs:Sophie

[erickka]

Stupid people shouldn't breed, but they sure do seem to porpigate! (sp?) Unfortunately, there are idiots like that everywhere.

[JohnH]

Walking down the street wearing a long plain skirt. Otherwise total drab. This is a common way of dressing for me, and often go out that way. I usually get no comments whatsoever, and often not even a glance. When I do get comments they are compliments. However, today I got 3 comments from men on the sidewalk.
3) Wearing a f***ing dress!!

but the third was said very loudly and very angrily.

I would be tempted to size up the third guy, and if I determined if he was not a threat, yell out so the whole block could hear me, "What's your problem you namby-pamby?".

Some of you may take me to task for yelling back at the baboon. This jerk just verbally assaulted me and he needs to realize there are consequences of blurting out to strangers the way he did.

[Crissy Kay]

IMO we, [cds], are considered an insult to manhood by "regular' men.

[GingerLeigh]

I would be tempted to size up the third guy, and if I determined if he was not a threat, yell out so the whole block could hear me, "What's your problem you namby-pamby?".

What's a "namby-pamby?" I never heard that one before. My usual one is "Jacka@#" and I think that applies here. It's unfortunate but the reality is that although we may not like it, it happens. Dismiss it as weak ego bigotry and move on.

Ginger

[TGMarla]

Do not take to heart the ignorance and small mindedness of those who would choose to live in darkness. There is a bell curve in the TG community as to where we are on the spectrum. The same holds true for enlightenment. And there are some who are on the short end of that curve.

'Nuff said.

[LeannL]

As others have said, this person is probably suffering from some sort of "not fitting into society" issue. He was probably most upset by the fact that you were comfortable being yourself in spite of the fact that you are not what passes for "normal" in society. You are comfortable - he is not. It is entirely possible that he has a CD problem that he has not come to terms with and particularly disliked the fact that you have.

Keep on doing what you enjoy doing and don't worry what others think. Of course, keep safe at the same time.

Leann

[JohnH]

What's a "namby-pamby?"
Ginger
Webster's definition: Lacking in character or substance: INSIPID

John

[GingerLeigh]

Webster's definition: Lacking in character or substance: INSIPID

John

Oh, that works.

[Cassandra Lynn]

2 things come to mind.

"You can't fix stupid". (from Jon White, i believe)

"Don't argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience". (author unknown)

Really though, the best we can do is feel pity for them (yeah, hard to do, i know), and move on with our heads held high. At least we might show any others around and observing these situations, that we are solid and sensible citizens of society.

mj (Cassie)

[Christinedreamer]

"You can't fix stupid!" - Ron White, Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

[mklinden2010]

I don't miss the dinosaurs... No table manners.

Always bemused when someone says, "f***ing" (anything).

In this case::

"No, not really. I prefer NO clothes at all for that."

Non-dinosaurs get it.

[Pythos]

This is a question I ponder a lot I often ask, why is it more acceptable to look like the scum of the earth (gansta, gangster, Pimp, wife beater) but not acceptable to wear items of the opposite sex? What is the deal?

I am hurting not one person when I choose a skirt instead of pants.

For those that say ignore them, it is very easy to say that. However, the reality is, some of those people saying that are people who's opinions matter BIG TIME on your life. Much of the time though their statements are purely based on negative press.

That is one reason I really cringe when I hear the term "sissy" or other terms that have a negative connotation applied to what we do.

I try to present as positive, non "Pervey" image I can. I know others here do to. But if you head to flickr and type in crossdresser, you get a horrible mix of positive, and negative images. You all know the images I refer to.

[mklinden2010]

Who says that it's acceptable to look like the scum of the earth? Most people just ignore that too, you see.

I don't know that "sissy" is a negative word; I only know it's said in a negative way most of the time.

Type in "flies, puppies, or, hot water" on any search engine and you can find positve and negative reports of each.

Thanks for making a more positive difference with your CD efforts - it matters.

[dilane]

Well, I agree with your right to express yourself and peacefully go about your business.

But, you are being in your face about it, right? You surely expect to get lots of reaction -- and no doubt hope it's respectful and non-threatening. But, 1-2% of males are criminals and or violent, and another several percent are emotionally on the edge or "mentally-ill" to some extent. So the occasional reaction is kind of the cost of doing business.

I try my best not to be noticed as a guy in a dress, but of course, it happens, and I don't like it if I get a non-friendly response, so I know the feeling.

-- Diane

[AlannahNorth]

Yeah, that last one would sting a bit. Not always easy but stay positive. Humanity has a way to go yet - generally, as a species we are not doing very well.

[Veronica 1]

"Don't argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience". (author unknown)
mj (Cassie)

Attributed to Mark Twain and Albert Einstein. My vote would be Twain.

Considering some levels of "humanity", prarie dogs have better social skills.

[Miss Misery]

Kay2 -

My response: "yeah, I'm wearing a dress and I can still kick your a**!"

[Frédérique]

...a guy wearing a skirt is the greatest threat to life on earth since the comet that killed the dinosaurs.

Yeah, that’s about the size of it. A guy wearing a skirt is the greatest threat to masculinity (a man’s life) one can think of. As far as I’m concerned, men ARE dinosaurs, and it’s 2010. Who’s afraid of a little style? Who’s afraid of women’s clothing? Who’s afraid of vulnerability? My goodness, Mr. Man may have to consider the “alternative” and put his weapons away! It’s about time. Come, join our reindeer games – skirts are mandatory...
:battingeyelashes:

[Emma England]

He sounds like an idiot to me.

Can't he tell the difference between a skirt and a dress?

[Sarah Michelle]

the argument that a comet killed the dinosaurs is theoretical not factual
erego
you can rest assured that a man in a dress is not a threat to life on earth.....
if it were
we'd have been done in by the Celts and the Scots centuries ago....

[Laura_Stephens]

Attributed to Mark Twain and Albert Einstein. My vote would be Twain.

Considering some levels of "humanity", prarie dogs have better social skills.

Albert Einstein, "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. "

[AvidFan]

He's just jealous. He wanted to wear the dress. After I've been giving in to my urges, I'm convinced most guys want to play dress up too

[JulieK1980]

He probably has a lot of negative things going on in his life and is full of fear. Who knows? Unhappy marriage, job loss, loneliness, worries over the economy, maybe his child is into drugs, or maybe he is. Maybe he sees his world going to hell in a handbasket all around, so now he is rebelling against anything that is foreign to him. It's not easy to be open-minded when one lives in fear.

I have a neighbor who's son recently got very heavy into drugs and dropped out of high school. Previous to this the neighbor was a very friendly individual, however now, it seems he's directed all of his anger torwards the African American community. When he speaks it's almost as though acid is spewing from his mouth. It's as though he's directed all of his anguish at a single group of people. I think you're right on Reine. It seems a lot like a form of denial, he prefers to focus all that rage on a group of people rather than focus on his son's problem. I have a feeling this is probably a very common reason for people to act like that.

[sissystephanie]

Walking down the street wearing a long plain skirt. Otherwise total drab. This is a common way of dressing for me, and often go out that way. I usually get no comments whatsoever, and often not even a glance. When I do get comments they are compliments. However, today I got 3 comments from men on the sidewalk.

3) Wearing a f***ing dress!!

i have been going out in skirts, and sometimes a dress, for several years now that my dear wife has passed away. But I am definitely a man in every in other respect. I did have a man say the same thing to me once! I merely turned to him and said, "No, it is a skirt, not a dress! Not that it any of your business!" Then I walked away, leaving him speechless! Of course, without a wig or makeup I look entirely masculine and not like somebody you would want to mess with, even though I was wearing a skirt!