The sad world we live in...

[KlaireLarnia]

As anyone who has read my posts before knows, I have to travel on business occasionally - as do my work colleagues. This is my main time to dress up and the only time I do it in public (bearing in mind I dress so I look like a man in womens clothes and do not try and pass as female). Anyhow...

On Tuesday myself and a colleague had to go away. Me to Chesterfield, her to Port Talbot in Wales. My colleague left a good hour before me as she had to catch a train where as I drive everywhere (mainly as it allows me to dress up earlier (ie while driving) and I stay like this even when I arrive at the hotel). MY colleague got to the train station and the person opposite me started to laugh. I asked why and all I got was "there is some werido on the station dressed as a woman". Well I found that as funny as being hit in the head with a brick. Next thing I get is a the person showing me a photo she was sent via an mms showing this person. Again I did not find it as funny as everyone else who all seemed to think it was find to take the piss.

About 20 mins later the person laughs again, this time showing me a photo of the same person sitting on the train. Obviously my colleague thought it was so amusing she took pictures to poke fun at them. At this point I wanted to scream out "Shut the F**K up. One day that may me ME you are laughing at!" but I did not as I do not want work knowing that I cross dress at the moment. So instead I attacked their line of thinking and asked why that person was a werido and what was wrong with what they where doing. This prompted a few funny looks. So I took a sensible train of though and said "How do you know they are not transgender or have transgender issues? This does not make them a werido." One of the people in the office is a male homosexual I will call Mike for now. I added "Okay look at it this way, Mike due to his sexuality wears a lot of female styled and most likely female clothes, but you do not ridicule him purely because of his sexuality. The way he dresses is accepted purely due his sexuality." But if a straight man wants to wear female clothes he is seen as a werido. How is that fair?" I then went on to explain I knew a few transsexual people (which is true) all of which who where ridiculed exactly as they had done to this person - which shows how pathetic human society really is.

This stopped the piss taking but I am sure people now have doubts over me and what I am like or do in private. But I was so insensed at them that I had to say something.

So if you where on a train out of Southampton at about 2pm on Tuesday heading in the directions of Reading (or know the person who was), and a mid-30's woman kept giving you funny looks then accept my apologies on her behalf.

Sorry it took me a couple of days, I could only post this when I got home today and had a chance to rest from the 4 hour drive and the lovely time I spent dressed as I wanted.

Klaire

[Alberta_Pat]

Hi Klaire;

Thanks for caring and sharing.

[Vikki Vixen]

Unfortunately it's exactly this attitude that stops most of us dressing up in public. It seems to be one of the few things the general population can get away with discriminating against a group of people purely because they think it's funny. Afew years ago this is how we treated gay and ethnic minority groups, thankfully we have moved on from this but I wonder if we will ever get the same respect. What I do find strange is that if I dressed up as a woman but acted openly 'camp' as well I would not get any negative reaction as it would then be ok for me as a man to cross dress, if I go to fancy dress as a woman it's ok, if I have a drag act it's ok but if I dare to say I do it purely because I like it I'm a freak.

[Roberta Marie]

Klaire,


Thank you for having the courage to stand up and say something, and for the presence of mind to try to educate these folks. I don't know if you are now under suspicion, but I suspect that you are only suspected of being a person of conscience. You should be proud that you took a stance.

Grace,
Bobbi

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Klaire,

Chesterfield is a wonderfully tolerent place ha-ha! But we have to put up with it don't we it, we have to stand up for ourselves. And, what the heck, I have just written about flying to Spain and back dressed (as well as spending six days there) so don't get to angry. I'm surprised by your colleague though. There are bad eggs in every basket.

[Frédérique]

" But if a straight man wants to wear female clothes he is seen as a weirdo. How is that fair?"

It isn’t fair, and I agree – it’s a sad world. I really think anyone who goes out of their way to laugh at a crossdresser is suppressing their own urges, or using the occasion to bolster their own purported masculinity amongst their peers. They feel they must laugh, since that will help them to fit into their chosen “guy” role, individuality be damned. As far as I’m concerned, the world is a sad place for that gentleman (and I use that term loosely), and OUR world is beautiful. A straight man who wears female clothes is a brave person, and the person who laughs at him is quite the opposite...

[KlaireLarnia]

Hi Klaire,

Chesterfield is a wonderfully tolerent place ha-ha! But we have to put up with it don't we it, we have to stand up for ourselves. And, what the heck, I have just written about flying to Spain and back dressed (as well as spending six days there) so don't get to angry. I'm surprised by your colleague though. There are bad eggs in every basket.

Well the staff at the Permier Inn at Tapton Lock Hill where wonderfull. I walked in with a female top on and showing, my large red (and obviously female) coat as well as my shoulder bag and suitcase and the guy on reception treated me perfectly. When I had my meal (still in the female top and court shoes) again nothing in the way of strange looks or reactions from any of the staff. And at breakfast I turned up in a different top, and my 3inch heeled boots and again a perfectly normal reaction. They where wonderful and it was a pleasure to go there. I know they are paid to be poilte and respectful but often you still see the odd looks from staff - but there nothing.


Regards to my colleague. SHE (the one who took the photos) does have a streak in her for taking the mickey and poking fun - as does the other girl who sits opposite me. And while most of the time I join in and agree this was one of the few occasions where I could not for personal reasons and had to say something.

I do not mind if they suspect or not. In truth it would do me little harm if they did know what I do. I am planning to get my ears pierced soon (mostly in order to convince my daughter to get hers done as she is scared it will hurt - so I thought get mine done and we can be "brave" together). That will make them wonder - especially when they are still in there 3-4 weeks later and have not been removed to heal up as they would think I would do.

We shall see on this, but I just felt so sorry for the person on the train who had my colleague staring at them that I wished I could find them and say sorry for her sad attitude. I hope that someone here will know who it is (or they may visit themselves) and pass my message on. At least I will feel I made a little difference to them.

Klaire

[Emma England]

What I don't understand is why they think it is funny?

[TGMarla]

All it takes is for a few people to stand up for what is right, and to try and correct ignorant thinking when they have the chance.

Chip away at the stone, baby!

[Chickhe]

First it is very rude (and often illegal) to take a photo of someone else without their permission. Secondly, to broadcast that image in a discriminatory way is wrong (was she doing it with her work phone?). I would stop there and tell them it is wrong and you are shocked to see that type of childish activity from a co-worker. Depending on your work environment, she could be fired if her actions don't fit the companies policies and when you are an employee you are a representative of the comapny you work for. You might even be required to report it or risk being fired too.

[Ria]

Good on you!

[KlaireLarnia]

First it is very rude (and often illegal) to take a photo of someone else without their permission. Secondly, to broadcast that image in a discriminatory way is wrong (was she doing it with her work phone?). I would stop there and tell them it is wrong and you are shocked to see that type of childish activity from a co-worker. Depending on your work environment, she could be fired if her actions don't fit the companies policies and when you are an employee you are a representative of the comapny you work for. You might even be required to report it or risk being fired too.

1) I aggree with taking a phone like that being rude. Illegal? I doubt anyone could ever get pulled for taking a photo of an adult - with or without their permission - other than in exceptional circumstances in the UK.

2) No, her personal phone we do not have work mobiles.

3) When we travel no one has any idea who we are or work for - only when we get to the meetings the following day are we really "known". So technically there is no infringement on any company rules, which only apply to our work place and not while we travel. We are a small company of under 30 people and only 9 of us travel so it just gets chalked up as one of those things.

4) She simply thought the person looked odd and rather than ignore them, decided to have a cheap laugh at them sadly. This is why I stood up to it. They do not poke fun at Mike for being homosexual despite many many people still finding it a little disconcerting but you would never dream of making nasty/rude comments. So I had to stand up for this person as they did not warrant or deserve it. I admire that person for going out fully dressed knowing that people like my colleague may and do poke fun at them sadly.

Hopefully next time they will not poke fun - or sadly more likely, I will not hear of it....

Klaire

[Sophie86]

Klaire,


Thank you for having the courage to stand up and say something, and for the presence of mind to try to educate these folks. I don't know if you are now under suspicion, but I suspect that you are only suspected of being a person of conscience. You should be proud that you took a stance.

Grace,
Bobbi

I agree. :thumbsup:

[arbon]

but I am sure people now have doubts over me and what I am like or do in private. But I was so insensed at them that I had to say something.


It is awesome that you did say something. Usually people well shut right up when confronted about what they are doing.

It is not a sure thing that they have doubts about you or that they are considering what you are doing in private -denial is powerful and people tend to be comfortable living in it. To think someone they know is ? usually not a chance. They are probably more embarrassed that they got caught and called out for doing something so immature and hoping you are not judging them as being complete idiots.

[t-girlxsophie]

Well done Klaire,you were brave confronting your Colleague,in the respect that you are not known as a crossdresser and that this may have put you under suspicion,you are 1000 times better than the Bigot whose guff you have had to listen to,remember that.respect to you and thanks

:hugs:Sophie