Carrying handbags/shoulder bags

[KlaireLarnia]

I know a few people on here, like me, go out in female clothes but looking male and not wanting to pass as female.

Does anyone go out with a female handbag/shoulder bag at all or do you still stuff what few things you can in your pockets?

Just wondering as on my way home from a business trip today and as normal when I am not in my suit while away I am in female clothes. This time flat court shoes, a nice top and a thin sweater. In the back of the car I had a full length red coat which is very warm to help as it is bitterly cold in England at the moment. I also had a decent sized shoulder bag to put all my stuff in (phone, purse, wallet, keys etc).

When I stopped at a motorway services to use the toilet I got out of the car, put my bag on my shoulder and placed my coat on. I then walked in with the coat only closed by my hands in my pockets so you could see the female sweater and my bag when I took my hands out. I got some VERY obviously and weird looks when I walked in the toilet which was kinda scary and funny. When I bought a chocolate bar the person serving me did a double take and then in credit to him treaded me with total professionalism and politeness which made me very happy.

I just wonder if others who dress as a man in womens clothes also take handbags/shoulder bags out normally and what sort of reactions you get.

I would love to know.

Klaire

[JuliaKay]

I've carried a brown shoulder purse for years now while in drab (my non-supportive wife helped pick it out) to work, church, drs., social functions, etc., without a problem or negative comments. I also sometimes carry a Fossil "clutch" with a shoulder strap when I don't want to use the purse. Bobbie

[Sarah Michelle]

I don't go out dressed but I do carry a purse. Have for years. They are usually non-descript shoulder bags, more bag than purse but it has everything in it and I have nothing in my pockets. My wife has become accustomed to it and often leaves her huge heavy purse in the car when we shop, choosing to put a few essentials in my bag.
She teases that I have more purses than her but than's an utter fabrication. She has over a dozen "active" purses, I only have three or four.
I get odd looks in the mall and in line-ups but I've become accustomed to them. It's easier to have everything in a purse that you pick up on the way out, than to search the different pants pockets and places you set things to be sure you have everything.

[Janet Bern]

Always carry a shoulder bag in the daytime.

[Karren H]

I always carry one out enfemme but I bought a new one a couple weeks ago and had all my stuff in It from the night before so I just grabbed it and went to the store in drab.. My fem exercise outfit but no makeup or hair... And no one even gave a second glance.

[Sarasometimes]

Can't help you on carrying one while enhomme, but i love to carry one when enfemme. If I could afford more styles and types of handbags/purses I would certainly have many! Some are just so feminine.

[JohnH]

I carry a purse only if there are no pockets in my garments. My above the knee denim skirts have pockets so I don't carry a purse then. The pockets are on the shallow side but they are sufficient.

[KlaireLarnia]

I carry a purse only if there are no pockets in my garments. My above the knee denim skirts have pockets so I don't carry a purse then. The pockets are on the shallow side but they are sufficient.

This is sort of what made me wonder. A lot of female clothes I have that have pockets (other than my coats) tend to be very shallow and hard to get anything in - not even a purse often, so carrying a bag makes sense in this case (and of course because women need to carry much more than men it seems too).

As a man you are taught to carry only essentials normally as they must go in your pockets. Now personally I will not put things in my rear pockets as I do not trust things going missing from them, so I can only use the front pockets on trousers. If I put my phone, wallet and keys in there I am out of room. My smartphone is larger than my wallet and even some of my female purses. So I wondered about carrying a bag in male mode instead.

When I go to car boot sales with the wife I often walk around with 2 shoulder style shopping bags and noone cares even if they are empty. So based on today, I wondered if it was the bag or the coat that got the stares (or possibly my whole look). I think it was more the coat as seeing a man in a full length bright red coat does make me stand out :) I am slowly trying little items and pieces to gauge reaction until I reach a point where I am totally comfortable in public with female clothes and items on me.

My next trip in a couple of weeks is a up and back in a day so i can only do basic stuff like the bag and shoes as I will need to wear a suit in the way up and jeans/t-shirt on the way back as I will have to return to work that day. I want to try and see how the bag works in 100% male mode and clothes. If I am happy with it and how I feel it may be something that I try and do more often and more local so it becomes natural no matter what I am wearing.

Any other thoughts and comments are welcomed as ever.

Klaire

[Melissa_Z]

I carry a bag with me pretty often, and I am always en homme. I used to carry it all of the time, but I wound up needing to carry a backpack around recently and therefore did not need the duplicate bag. Without a doubt, I HATE carrying things in my pockets, so some sort of bag is nearly always in order.

The one I ordinarily carry is pretty unisex/camping-ish (though its liner is lavender, and there is some sort of strange andro-character embroidered on the front flap.). I've never had anyone comment beyond the "nice man-bag" level. Nothing beats walking into Lowe and pulling a tape measure out of your handbag! Moreover, I've often had hand-cream, sunscreen, first-aid, lip blam, gum, kleenex, etc. on hand when others have not (gals w/purses included). :)

This thread has got me thinking that I probably need to look at upgrading to maybe a nicer bag though. Perhaps something leather. Perhaps several somethings ... I've often wished that I had one in black as well as brown ...

[Jeanna]

My God a purse is so convenient! I never have enough pockets! You can buy men's purses for the drab days. Here's a look http://www.leathertree.com/leather-products/Mens-handbags-22/
Got to admit, some of these look like purses.

[kayegirl]

Klaire, I never go anywhere without either a shoulder or handbag, regardless of any other clothing, drab or en femme, and have done so for many years now. I have a number of different styles and colours. I don't remember much reaction, even when visiting the cattle market earlier today, so i think your looks must have been down to the red coat.

[Alice B]

I used to borrow one of my wife's purses, but just bought one at a thrift store. When I go out that is what I carry, with all my items inside it. Most of my female clothing does not have pockets and carrying a purse just seems natural to use and for my presentation.

[Loni]

yes i carry a bag with me...most times. it is a woman's purse but does not look like a purse, more like a small camcorder bag (turned on it's side). it is just a cheep chinese knockoff of a brand name, but all i can afford at this time...now if i could afford a coach bag.
it is far and away better than stuffing one's pockets. as these days i must carry more around than what would fit in my pockets, by a factor of 40. (health).

[Stephenie S]

Maybe the weird looks were because you wore the bag UNDER the coat. That would look weird to me if I saw you. Shoulder bags go on the shoulder, but over the coat, not under it.

S

[ColleenW]

My God a purse is so convenient! I never have enough pockets! You can buy men's purses for the drab days. Here's a look http://www.leathertree.com/leather-products/Mens-handbags-22/
Got to admit, some of these look like purses.

I agree with Jeanna. I always carry a purse and it's the most convenient part of my wardrobe. I hate putting things in my pockets (if I have them).

[chris80]

when I was working I used to carry a shoulder bag,unisex,as my male suits were getting a bit tight and looked much better if the pockets were not loaded down.

[donnalee]

Maybe the weird looks were because you wore the bag UNDER the coat. That would look weird to me if I saw you. Shoulder bags go on the shoulder, but over the coat, not under it.

S

My SO wore her purse under her coat for years. She never learned how to drive (never wanted to), so had to take the bus to work in a tough town and came home at night; purse snatching was a big concern. She never had her purse snatched when carrying it this way, so it was pretty successful, at least from this standpoint.

[Stephanie Miller]

Not quite as spendy as Jeanna's selections, but this one (in brown) is simalar to what I use daily. People at the office call it a "man bag". How else is one to carry wallet, phone, pens, calculator, keys (large ring with about 20 keys), chapstick, small tube of sunscreen (remember I live in the land of the sun), camera, candy, change, more candy, glasses, pocket knife, receipts and business cards just to name a little.

http://www.jillianleather.com/products/Embassy_Genuine_Leather_Purse-1161-61.html

Had a tiny bit of ribbing the first day or two by close Gg's (oldly no guys), but now it's old hat.

[sissystephanie]

Since my wife passed away, I almost always go oiut dressed but with no wig or makeup. But I almost always carry either a purse or a shoulder bag. Even though many of my skirts, and some dresses, do have pockets I rarely use them for most of my stuff. That is what purses are for, to carry womens stuff!! I used them before my wife passed away, and saw no reason not to continue doing so. I took a cruise to Greece and Turkey a few years ago with a small group, and the ladies were all glad that I had my large shoulder bag with me!! I was carrying a lot of stuff!! BTW, I have never had any problem from people when I am carrying a purse!

[sissystephanie]

Not quite as spendy as Jeanna's selections, but this one (in brown) is simalar to what I use daily. People at the office call it a "man bag". How else is one to carry wallet, phone, pens, calculator, keys (large ring with about 20 keys), chapstick, small tube of sunscreen (remember I live in the land of the sun), camera, candy, change, more candy, glasses, pocket knife, receipts and business cards just to name a little.

http://www.jillianleather.com/products/Embassy_Genuine_Leather_Purse-1161-61.html

Had a tiny bit of ribbing the first day or two by close Gg's (oldly no guys), but now it's old hat.

Stephanie from another Stephanie,

I liked the look of the purses on Jillian Leather so well that I ordered one. Not that I really need another purse, but you must know the feeling!! Just had to have it!!

[Veronica 1]

I wear a bag daily, it is so practical. It is a mini messenger style with a cross body strap and not really fem looking but it is way better than having lumps in my pockets.

[GirlyGirl66]

I never leave home without it!!

[TS_Denice]

I've never carried a woman's purse outside since I really do not go out dressed. However, I hate to carry anything in my pockets. I got a leather fanny pack years ago that I used to carry all the time over my shoulder. I never wore it around my waist. One day I was going to lunch and my co-worker said "Why are you carrying a purse?" I started laughing saying it's not a purse. But then I thought about the way I carry it and it does look like as a purse. I had never really thought about it. Afterward, I got a little self conscious about it because I really didn't see too many guys with them anymore except for tourists. The guys that did have them did not wear them over their shoulder. I still carry it but not as often. Then one year I went to a company convention & they gave us bags with one strap that is designed to be worn across your body. The strap is a little too short for me to wear it that way so I always wear it over one shoulder. I like the bag design because it's small and I can get in it without taking the bag off my shoulder. I started looking for a leather one. Every bag I found like it was for women. I slowly realized that the bag I had was a woman's bag. I didn't care because it's designed as a unisex bag but I noticed I never see any guys with a bag quite like the one I have. The bag for guys is larger and thus can easily be worn across the chest. I still want to a get a similar bag in leather. I'll just tell my friends it's European. :)

[Vickie_CDTV]

I don't carry a purse en drab, though I might if I could get away with it. A real, honest-to-goodness female-style purse on a male around here would draw attention.

Some interesting notes from a personal security perspective:

I never understood why some men carry their wallet in their back pocket. It can sitting awkward, it is easy to see if one is carrying a wallet and is really easy to have your back pocket picked in a crowd. I carry mine in the front pocket of my male pants, and with my hand in my pocket holding the wallet when in a crowd.

I usually carry my purse under my coat as well, for the same reason. It makes it harder for someone to see and grab. If I really am nervous, I carry my purse with the strap across my chest (like a bandoleer) and hold the purse firm in one hand close to my body.

[noeleena]

Hi ,

A shoulder bag that is a nice leather back bag or pack bag..allways on my back two reasons , i carry most times my camara in front of me in a good size bag with a strap around my back it holds a number of things for the camara plus the flash same size as the camara it just means my hands a free to take pics. two as i do a bit of walking i dont like carrying things in my hands . hence the back pack& thats pretty much every day.
As to looks im to male looking any way & im well known . just accepted for who i am & as a woman so no bige there,

...noeleena...

[Stephenie S]

About safety:

I had a nice leather Coach bag slit and emptied while I was on the subway in New York City once. I had it across my body and under my arm. One end was neatly slit and everything was gone without my suspecting a thing. When I reported it to the police they told me that there were schools you could go to in NY where you could learn to do that sort of thing. The officer told me that a skilled thief could cut the back pocket off a gentleman's trouser without him knowing it. I now carry my purse in FRONT of me when in similar situations. I might even consider wearing the strap UNDER my coat. Probably not though. Too weird looking. LOL.

[Stephanie Miller]

As a side note Vickie... My chiropractor saw mine and said he was glad that the man bag didn't really catch on. It would put a crunch in his business! The worst thing men do to thier backs is to carry a wallet on one side. It make one sit askew and therefore constantly forming your back wrong.
So there you have it......the excuse you've all been looking for "Got to carry the man bag (purse) - doctors orders! :yippee:

[CharleneT]

I started carrying a purse a year before I went full time. People noticed, but normally I got compliments. Just tell 'em that women have the right idea and you're getting smart!

Which is true ;)

The thing about the wallet in your back pocket is good advice, I stopped doing that at the encouragement of my doc and it really helped get rid of chronic low back pain.

[wendy68]

I carry one fairly frequently about half and half with a small clutch. I usually just take my clutch into stores but its whatever feels comfortable. I feel lost without my purse.