Well, that was... interesting?

[Loretta]

I was at college, and a girl I barely know (I know her on a name basis) comes up to me, grabs my breasts (Is it appropriate to call them that? I wasn't dressed at the time. at all.), and says, "Wow, that's a full, firm B-cup if I ever felt one! I'm jealous!" I was flattered (secretly), but outwardly, I just shrugged it off. She was being playful, but I'm wondering if it's becoming a good time to go bra-shopping. Plus, my "breasts" seem to be getting bigger every month. It's kind of weird.

[Kathi Lake]

Well, sounds like a good time was had by all! :)

Seriously, enjoy them! I don't have enough spare fat or flesh to make nipples - much less breasts.

:)

Kathi

[Kelly DeWinter]

I think I might get slammed for this, but doesen't that count as sexual assault ?

[Danni Bear]

yes Kelly, that is sexual assault. it makes no difference whether it is a male doing it or a female. assault is assault sexual or otherwise.

Danni

[Loretta]

I think I might get slammed for this, but doesen't that count as sexual assault ?

Not if the "Victim" is unwilling to press charges/ report the "assault". Seriously, I was more flattered than anything. I had to restrain myself from asking her what size and color bra she thinks I should wear.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I think Danni and I are in agreement, Grabbing anyone in that fashion would be sexual assault. Think of how a GG here would feel reading this thread. And as an FYI in the US if you can still be charged with 'assault' even if the "Victim' is unwilliing to press charges/report. All it takes is video evidence (cameras at college) or 1 witness who reports it as an assult.

[Loretta]

I think Danni and I are in agreement, Grabbing anyone in that fashion would be sexual assault. Think of how a GG here would feel reading this thread. And as an FYI in the US if you can still be charged with 'assault' even if the "Victim' is unwilliing to press charges/report. All it takes is video evidence (cameras at college) or 1 witness who reports it as an assult.

Except that I'm not willing to press charges, therefore making your point moot.

[Kelly DeWinter]

OK, you 'win' , happy ?

P.S. You might want to read the whole reply next time. If the assult was observed it could still be reported withot the 'Victim'

[Danni Bear]

Tara,

I know it can be exciting for something like that to happen.

but are you CRAZY. What if that had been a guy doing that to you. Or if you saw that happening to someone else. How would you have reacted then?

GG's don't do that to other GG's and they shouldn't do that to you. It doesn't matter whether you are in drab or enfemme. Your body belongs to you.
thats my two cents worth and opinion

Danni

[Loretta]

Tara,

I know it can be exciting for something like that to happen.

but are you CRAZY. What if that had been a guy doing that to you. Or if you saw that happening to someone else. How would you have reacted then?

GG's don't do that to other GG's and they shouldn't do that to you. It doesn't matter whether you are in drab or enfemme. Your body belongs to you.
thats my two cents worth and opinion

Danni

Oh no! A guy doing that to me?

Welcome to a part of my high school experience. After a while, It just becomes good natured teasing. Also, If you can't stand to laugh at yourself, but instead get emotionally crippled over every little thing, you really can't call yourself mature, can you?

[Kelly DeWinter]

Tara

There is nothing mature about assult. Thats part of your soon to be adult experience.

There is nothing good natured about assult.

Dani, I'm not sure Tara is even willing to try to understand whats being said. I'm sure another 'smart' high school response is forthcomming.

[Pythos]

Actually Tara, it is you that is imature.

This was not good natured ribbing, or joking. She insulted you. First by insinuating you are either fat, or have breasts, and second by grabbing you without your prior consent.

But you are unwilling to defend your self, so the point is, as they say moot.

Guys will let women assault them, but if a woman is assaulted LOOK OUT for the guy, cause he will have hell to pay.

Ah double standards, are they not grand?

[Loretta]

Actually Tara, it is you that is imature.

This was not good natured ribbing, or joking. She insulted you. First by insinuating you are either fat, or have breasts, and second by grabbing you without your prior consent.

But you are unwilling to defend your self, so the point is, as they say moot.

Guys will let women assault them, but if a woman is assaulted LOOK OUT for the guy, cause he will have hell to pay.

Ah double standards, are they not grand?

Immaturity be darned. I was complimented, and she didn't even know it!
Also, Double standards are something that will always be around.

[Danni Bear]

Oh no! A guy doing that to me?

Welcome to a part of my high school experience. After a while, It just becomes good natured teasing. Also, If you can't stand to laugh at yourself, but instead get emotionally crippled over every little thing, you really can't call yourself mature, can you?

Tara,

Teasing is assault when it is done in that type of manner. And unfortunately maturity has nothing to do with it. I am a mature woman confident in myself. It has taken me a lifetime (63 years) to get here. I'm sorry that you endured teasing and bullying through high school. You don't have to accept it now.

Danni

[Kelly DeWinter]

Double standards on exist while people are willing to accept or submit to them, such as your experience.

[GaleWarning]

Let me tell you a story ...
One day I was driving along the road when I saw a very young boy riding his bike on the sidewalk, without a helmet.
As I approached him, he fell off the bike.
From the way he fell, I realised he was badly injured.
I stopped a short distance down the road and returned to give him first aid (I am qualified).
Once the ambulance arrived to take over, I became conscious of a man in the crowd which had gathered, who wanted to bash me, because he assumed (incorrectly) that I had hit the young cyclist with my car.
Fortunately for me, someone else in the crowd had also witnessed the accident and was able to set him straight.
He calmed down and I was saved!

Get the point?

Butt out if you were not there to witness the events!

I'm with you, Tara.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Let me tell you a story ...
One day I was driving along the road when I saw a very young boy riding his bike on the sidewalk, without a helmet.
As I approached him, he fell off the bike.
From the way he fell, I realised he was badly injured.
I stopped a short distance down the road and returned to give him first aid (I am qualified).
Once the ambulance arrived to take over, I became conscious of a man in the crowd which had gathered, who wanted to bash me, because he assumed (incorrectly) that I had hit the young cyclist with my car.
Fortunately for me, someone else in the crowd had also witnessed the accident and was able to set him straight.
He calmed down and I was saved!

Get the point?

Butt out if you were not there to witness the events!

I'm with you, Tara.



Whats the point ?

The way he described the inccident it sound like assult, or would a croth grab be assult, or would that be considered a compliment too ?

[Loretta]

Tara,

Teasing is assault when it is done in that type of manner. And unfortunately maturity has nothing to do with it. I am a mature woman confident in myself. It has taken me a lifetime (63 years) to get here. I'm sorry that you endured teasing and bullying through high school. You don't have to accept it now.

Danni

Do I have to? Of course not.
Do I think she's some kind of Sexual Deviant for grabbing a spare bit of flesh on my chest? Also a no.
Am I going to report her for aforementioned act? No.
Does that make me immature? No.
Am I flipping out about it? No.
If a guy did it, would I flip out then? You assume I would, but the answer is still no.
Did she do it to be mean? No.
Did she insult me? If she was trying, she wasn't trying hard enough, as the answer is no.
Is it assault? Yes.
Was it done in front of a bunch of level-headed, good-humored college students ranging in their early to mid 20s? yes.
Were they going to report it or flip out about it? Absolutely not.

And why should they have? Obviously they saw it the way that I did- as good-natured ribbing (or rubbing, however you want to look at it), with no intent other than mutual laughter and a potentially awkward situation between two people on first name basis. For cripe's sake, the girl comes up to me and hugs me on a near daily basis. Was it inappropriate? Yes, but I don't care.

Does that answer your quandary with my situation?

[Danni Bear]

Tara,

The way you described it in the OP and now makes a difference in how you responded to it and the manner in which it can be percieved by another.
our point was that the inappropiate grabbing of your breasts was assault on her part. Your response to her at the time was appropiate for you then, that can and will probably change with time.

Danni

[Kelly DeWinter]

Do I have to? Of course not.
Do I think she's some kind of Sexual Deviant for grabbing a spare bit of flesh on my chest? Also a no.
Am I going to report her for aforementioned act? No.
Does that make me immature? No.
Am I flipping out about it? No.
If a guy did it, would I flip out then? You assume I would, but the answer is still no.
Did she do it to be mean? No.
Did she insult me? If she was trying, she wasn't trying hard enough, as the answer is no.
Is it assault? Yes.
Was it done in front of a bunch of level-headed, good-humored college students ranging in their early to mid 20s? yes.
Were they going to report it or flip out about it? Absolutely not.

And why should they have? Obviously they saw it the way that I did- as good-natured ribbing (or rubbing, however you want to look at it), with no intent other than mutual laughter and a potentially awkward situation between two people on first name basis. For cripe's sake, the girl comes up to me and hugs me on a near daily basis. Was it inappropriate? Yes, but I don't care.

Does that answer your quandary with my situation?


It's getting a bit confusing, You said the assult occured on college campus, and that it is part of your 'high school experience' in front of a bunch of mids 20's students ?

If you are a highschool student under 18 being assulted at a college, it should be reported ? Do you need assistance filing a police report ?

[GaleWarning]

Whats the point ?

The way he described the inccident it sound like assult, or would a croth grab be assult, or would that be considered a compliment too ?

I would have thought that Tara, having stated several times that she DID NOT feel sexually violated by the actions of this GG, had made it abundantly clear that you, Kelly, have no right to make a moral judgment, because you were not a witness to the events.

You may be well-meaning, but if you were to lay a formal complaint of sexual harrassment in this case, you would NOT be doing either Tara or the GG or the rest of society any favours.

You would only be pandering to your own pc attitudes.

IMHO.

[Kelly DeWinter]

The statistics from victims advocacy groups would astound you with how many 'victims' fail to report assult cases, and eventualy need counseling because of suppressed feelings, or the rise in the number of Female on Male assult cases. Or the number of times, victims, write about their assults via 'transferrance' experiences. Young victims have been known to tell friends of their experiences and shrug it off as 'teasing'. Assult is a serious matter, and yes I do understand what Tara is saying, I'm trying to get Tara to understand that in the situation as she described it, it could be read as ASSULT.

It has nothing to do with being PC correct.

[silkysophie]

It's not surprising America has the reputation of creating the 'suing culture' with over sensitive attitudes like that! If Tara wasn't offended then it wasn't assault. I would say she is actually very mature as saw the 'incident' as what it truly was & didn't jump on her high horse.

[Loretta]

It's getting a bit confusing, You said the assult occured on college campus, and that it is part of your 'high school experience' in front of a bunch of mids 20's students ?

If you are a highschool student under 18 being assulted at a college, it should be reported ? Do you need assistance filing a police report ?

I am a college student. I was referring to a similar experience in high school.

All throughout high school (mid-2000s), it was fairly commonplace.

[Kelly DeWinter]

OK, Tara you 'win' again, we won't consider grabing somone by the breasts assult, we will pander to the un'sensitive' attitudes, so that all kids can enjoy all of the joys of these incidents as part of the 'high school experience'. Whats a few suicides because it's part of our experience. One that cannot be changed. It was only a short time ago, that we allowed grab assing in college hazing and gauntlets as part of military hazing. After all these 'only resulted in a few deaths a year, so we should bring then back right ? Heck since she was being playful, why not return the favor next time you see her ? Oh wait a moment, double standars, you can't do it because it would be assult right ? Even if you do it playfully.

[Loretta]

OK, Tara you 'win' again, we won't consider grabing somone by the breasts assult, we will pander to the un'sensitive' attitudes, so that$ kids can enjoy all of the joys of these incidents as part of the 'high school experience'. It was only a short time ago, that we allowed grab assing in college hazing and gauntlets as part of military hazing. After all these 'only resulted in a few deaths a year, so we should bring then back right ?

I will not hesitate to turn this entire topic into an executable .JAR file, should this continue.:heehee:

[Kelly DeWinter]

Please include '

"all comments are copyrighted by the author, no changes may be made without the express permission of the author'

[GaleWarning]

OK, Tara you 'win' again, we won't consider grabing somone by the breasts assult, we will pander to the un'sensitive' attitudes, so that all kids can enjoy all of the joys of these incidents as part of the 'high school experience'. Whats a few suicides because it's part of our experience. One that cannot be changed. It was only a short time ago, that we allowed grab assing in college hazing and gauntlets as part of military hazing. After all these 'only resulted in a few deaths a year, so we should bring then back right ? Heck since she was being playful, why not return the favor next time you see her ? Oh wait a moment, double standars, you can't do it because it would be assult right ? Even if you do it playfully.

Deep sigh ...
Ok, Kelly, so our attitudes are shaped by our past experiences ...
Your reference to suicide reminds me of another story, which illustrates my perspective, I think.

Long ago, in another time and another country, there was this crazy law that decreed that white people could not cohabit with black people.
A friend of mine "broke" that law.
Someone dobbed him in.
The resultant shame drove him to suicide!

Stupid pc git! The one who dobbed him in was so taken up with his own misguided sense of right and wrong that he noy only destroyed that innocent man's life, but also caused a great deal of unnecessary pain and suffering to a large number of other people.

[Jorja]

Well seeing as how the OP isn't bothered by it and you can't talk any sense to her, save your breath.

I just want to know the secret to getting your breast fondled by a college girl out of the blue like that :D

[7sisters]

back to the OP... if you want to go bra shopping then today is the day I guess when you willl get discounts in big malls... so quick... put on your sparkly shoes and run out to get yourself whatever you wish. You only live once. so make the most of it!

[Chickhe]

Where I live, such a case has to be unwelcome touching. The thing to watch out for is the unwelcome part can apply to the observers too. If one person in the crowd is upset by seeing this activity there could be a case for sexual assult. When it is less obvious that something is innapropriate you should give the offender one chance and tell them it is wrong and the next time you will report it.

...you have to allow for fun and it sounds like you had fun. So when are you going shopping? Are you going to wear a bra for the next time you see her?

[MJ]

Plus, my "breasts" seem to be getting bigger every month. It's kind of weird.

STOP taking the hormons :heehee:

[5150 Girl]

Well to anser the OP's question,,, I'd have to say yes! Go shopping, have fun!

Sexual assult? In this case, I'd have to "intent" and context" is a deciding factor... Seems to me that in this context, as they were familure with eachother, and it was done is what sounds to me like a playfull manner, and no offence was taken, and the first party intended no harm, then I'd say this does not qualify as assult, but rather good natured hayzing.

[sissystephanie]

I will have to agree with 5150 Girl! As one who has been around the block more time than most of you have been alive, this incident would never make it in court as "Assault!" It would be thrown out when first presented! It is hazing, yes, but that is all. Way too much talk has literally been wasted here by some people trying to get their point across that an assault occurred! In Tara's own words that did NOT occur, so nothing more need be said!

[AKAMichelle]

next make sure that you get to have a comparison feel. :D I know it was bad, but it's the male in me.

[KellyK]

I recently attended a party where I was nicely dressed up.. maybe a bit provocative, and I had a woman come on to me who I guess was answering her bisexual tendencies. She knew full well I was not the woman she thought she was kissing, but it did not stop her. Maybe she has a thing for cross-dressers, but nonetheless, it was rather exciting to gain such attention while I was Kelly!

[Laura Jane]

A rule of thumb, if you throughly enjoyed the grope, its not sexual assualt!

[Kelly DeWinter]

Kelly, shakes her head sadly and walks away from this thread.

[DianneW]

you girls are really being "catty"... it was a friendly, playful little squeeze, no one was hurt or assaulted it was just fun & Tara enjoyed it.....let it go.

[Joann Smith]

I had a strange woman grabn one of my breast ....she took the left one and slammed it down on a plate ....then she slammed another plate on on the top of that breast and smashed it down....hard ... and took a picture of it ....then the heffa took the other breast and did the same thing to it..

I wanted to press charges ....but she charged my insurance provider first....

Joann

[JenniferB]

It's not surprising America has the reputation of creating the 'suing culture' with over sensitive attitudes like that! If Tara wasn't offended then it wasn't assault. I would say she is actually very mature as saw the 'incident' as what it truly was & didn't jump on her high horse.

Well...I have to agree with this.
It seems to me like some people here have immediately gone to the worst case scenario. Sexual assault? please...
We're talking about college kids here. This kind of stuff happens. It's no big deal. It's just college kids being, well...kids. If it were two complete strangers on the street and this happened...yes, it might be a different case.
Relax...

[Pythos]

You know. I have a friend that was raped by her father, and until only recently did not realize just what an absolutely horrific thing he did to her it was. You not thinking this was assault is a similar example. That woman assaulted you. If you liked it, well then that is your deal. But, it echos of my friend's experience and blindness. I for one would not have tolerated that from a perfect stranger, and only a couple of trusted

To the person that said butt out. Why?

Why do you come across with that attitude when the OP was describing what to most sane people would be considered assault.

[Loretta]

You know. I have a friend that was raped by her father, and until only recently did not realize just what an absolutely horrific thing he did to her it was. You not thinking this was assault is a similar example. That woman assaulted you. If you liked it, well then that is your deal. But, it echos of my friend's experience and blindness. I for one would not have tolerated that from a perfect stranger, and only a couple of trusted

To the person that said butt out. Why?

Why do you come across with that attitude when the OP was describing what to most sane people would be considered assault.

Oh wow, really? A playful grab that was mutually enjoyed between two familiar parties is suddenly the same thing as forced incest? I thought some people were touchy, but INCEST?

If you don't think any part of what you said need to be thought out carefully and put into a more sensical paragraph, then you might need to re-evaluate.

[Loretta]

Also, my condolences to your friend.

[Pythos]

Now it was mutual? Okay. Then if was mutual DON'T MAKE IT SEEM AS IF IT WERE NOT. Your original post made it seem she just came up and grabbed your chest without you giving any kind of signal that that would be fine.

IF she did indeed come up to you, grab you out of the blue, that is legally assault. But talking to a brick wall is doing no good.

[Engendered]

Assault?! Wow. I'm sure some of my best friends have touched my chest at some point without my explicit permission. :eek:

They're seriously in trouble now. :sad:

(Honestly, the over-reactions on this thread are at best perplexing)
Let's not all see the worst in everything. :hugs:

[Karren H]

Maybe she was on the Wreslting Team??? Nipple Twister... Wasn't that a wrestling move?

[juligirl1984]

I'da freaked if a girl grabbed my breasts.

[GaleWarning]

To the person that said butt out. Why?



Because, Pythos, everyone who has cried "assault" on this thread was not there to witness the event, and so could not form any kind of first-hand opinion of the circumstances of the case. Read my first story to see again how easy it is for someone who was not there to jump to the wrong conclusion.

Because, Pythos, it was clear to me from the outset that Tara knew the person by name was not offended by the incident. Read between the lines.

Because, Pythos, Tara said over and over and over again that she did not feel sexually violated. Read for understanding of her point of view and not just your own!

Because, Pythos, your views are politically correct, and not in keeping with what most sane people consider to be right or wrong in this case. Believe it or not, some of us are happy with our sexuality and can tell whether of not the touching is inappropriate. And I, for one, am sane enough to know when I have been sexually abused and what steps would be appropriate if such were the case. Believe it or not, I have been there and done that in both situations.

Now butt out.

[dilane]

What's the context here?

Do you go en-femme there too?

Has she seen you en-femme?

Or did she just out of the blue grab your "man-boobs?"

It strikes me as disrespectful, and classless, really, but you get to pick your own friends. Do you think she goes up to GG's and does that? Think about it.

I got grabbed once or twice when I went in obvious drag on Halloween; in that context it's a little more acceptable (but I didn't like it at the time).

[joyce483]

Whenever I get dressed up and go to adult theatres I want to be grabbed!!

[GaleWarning]

I was at college, and a girl I barely know (I know her on a name basis) comes up to me, grabs my breasts (Is it appropriate to call them that? I wasn't dressed at the time. at all.), and says, "Wow, that's a full, firm B-cup if I ever felt one! I'm jealous!" I was flattered (secretly), but outwardly, I just shrugged it off. She was being playful, but I'm wondering if it's becoming a good time to go bra-shopping. Plus, my "breasts" seem to be getting bigger every month. It's kind of weird.

Dear God, I give up!

Here is the original post.

READ IT!

Both what is being said and what is "between the lines".

Then read the whole thread and tell us how many times Tara has said she is ok with what happened.

[Loretta]

Dear God, I give up!

Here is the original post.

READ IT!

Both what is being said and what is "between the lines".

Then read the whole thread and tell us how many times Tara has said she is ok with what happened.

Thanks Clayfish.
I'm curious, though. Why are you so willing to stick up for me?

[AllieSF]

I am with both you, Clayfish and Tara. Tara was clear in her OP and in her subsequent explanations. Some people here continue to refuse to admit that they were just that, clear and more than adequate explanations of what happened and how she took it. Everyone who jumped to the worse case scenario, could have simply asked for clarification regarding what happened. No, for them it is to continue the attack to prove how right they are and how misguided and immature Tara is. I was in high school and college where we grabbed ass and the crotch in a playful manner. Bid deal. Yeah, that may be sexual assault in some of your eyes but not between and within the group of people who knew each other. Over reaction and doing it your way is not the way to go here. Give Tara kudos for answering directly and honestly all the way through this thread.

Pythos, you make a good point, but in my opinion this is not comparable to your friend's experience.

[GaleWarning]

Thanks Clayfish.
I'm curious, though. Why are you so willing to stick up for me?

Read my first and second stories, Tara.
They explain everything, especially why I find pc people so exasperating!
Give me common sense every time.

Go well, stay well.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

jeebus, How long can people bicker over nothing before a thread gets shut down these days?

[Albertine]

Tara, lets put aside the assault word for now. You're on friendly terms with this gal, and she hugs you everyday. Then one day, in front of others she grabs one of your breasts and makes it into a joke in front of everyone. You shrug it off, perhaps any attention is better than no attention? That was extremely inappropriate of her and in poor taste. I would venture a bet that everyone else there who were laughing off the experience, in the back of their minds were thinking something else. What makes this kind of incident confusing is the familiarity and casual 'friendship' that has been developing over time. This young woman crossed a boundary she shouldn't have. You've turned it into a 'compliment' with the incident prompting you to have a discussion with others here about your breasts. That is a separate issue and worthy of lots of discussion, but have you noticed that the majority of responders here have had a strong, visceral reaction to your encounter? Dudette, don't brush this thing off like it's no big deal, it is.

Take some time to check in with your feelings. What is underneath the statement, 'outwardly I just shrugged it off'? Why would you not care that it was inappropriate, as you state in your list above? As a gg, I've had my share of negative experiences around being grabbed, especially in high school. I often froze inside and just tried to get away. Now, I would go ballistic and cause a scene, depending on the situation. My most effective actions though have been taking someone aside and expressing my feelings and establishing boundaries around that kind of behavior. Just sayin' ...think about it.

[Pythos]

Okay, final input here.

IF a total stranger did that, I would be absolutely incensed. I would let them know that that was not acceptable, either in the crowd, or at a later time.

If an acquaintance (someone I know only by name) did that, look above

If my GF did that, totally other matter, in fact I would return the favor.

Your OP was confusing ("a girl I barely know", that for me falls under the classification of acquaintance)

I guess the real question is this. IF a guy had done this to you. A guy you barely know. Would you be so nonchalant about it? IF not, then why do you accept it in the manner you do from someone that has female body parts?

Oh and Rye, I understand your question, but this is not so easy to understand. For many here this was clearly abuse, to one or two it was no big deal. The OP is now saying they don't care. So I no longer care. I for my part am just trying to point out some incongruous features of this thread.

[Stephenie S]

I think this whole thread is a product of an over active imagination. I seriously doubt that the incident in the OP ever really occurred. There are too many inconsistencies in the reporting.

Read the OP's report on "crossdressing day" in high school.

The whole idea that a sexual assault can be "enjoyed" and therefor is not a sexual assault is a product of generations of misogynistic behavior.

I just don't think it ever happened.

S

[linda allen]

Where I live, such a case has to be unwelcome touching. The thing to watch out for is the unwelcome part can apply to the observers too. If one person in the crowd is upset by seeing this activity there could be a case for sexual assult.
That's a stretch. Suppose I kiss my wife in public. The mall, lets say. Not a french kiss, just a little kiss. If that upsets someone, then I am assaulting my wife?

Let's take it a step further - Two gay guys kiss in the mall and someone is upset by this. Is this a sexual assault?

At some point, the government has to let people live their lives. If the person being touched doesn't like it, that's one thing, but a bystander?

And even for the person being touched, how serious was the touching and what was meant by it? Is a pat on the back "unwanted touching" deserving of a criminal charge?

In the OP's case, the female touched the male's breasts (he didn't seem to mind). For some reason, male breasts and female breasts are treated differently in most societies. A male can show his bare breasts at a pool or beach and nothing is said. It's usually against the law for a female to do the same. Why is this?

[linda allen]

I'da freaked if a girl grabbed my breasts.

In my younger, single days, I would have grabbed back!

[Kelly DeWinter]

jeebus, How long can people bicker over nothing before a thread gets shut down these days?

Why shut it down ? It's turned into an interesting debate on what is and is not assult. 15 years ago, two people could have an argument, duke it out, after 3 or 4 punches, someone would yell break it up, seperate the two people, more othen then not, they would shake hands hands and that would be the end of it. These days (and Im exagrating here), If you look at someone 'funny', you get slapped with 15 different charges, hauled to court, fined,sentenced, have permanat record and then you have to go pick up the garbage. (some might know this reference)

[Loretta]

Why shut it down ? It's turned into an interesting debate on what is and is not assult. 15 years ago, two people could have an argument, duke it out, after 3 or 4 punches, someone would yell break it up, seperate the two people, more othen then not, they would shake hands hands and that would be the end of it. These days (and Im exagrating here), If you look at someone 'funny', you get slapped with 15 different charges, hauled to court, fined,sentenced, have permanat record and then you have to go pick up the garbage. (some might know this reference)

I can testify to how true this post is.
Though you could just say, "Community service".

[Loretta]

I think this whole thread is a product of an over active imagination. I seriously doubt that the incident in the OP ever really occurred. There are too many inconsistencies in the reporting.

Read the OP's report on "crossdressing day" in high school.

The whole idea that a sexual assault can be "enjoyed" and therefor is not a sexual assault is a product of generations of misogynistic behavior.

I just don't think it ever happened.

S

So...

In other words, you're calling me a liar, saying that I'm just some sad person who sits behind a computer screen all day?

If you don't believe the "Opposite Sex Day" topic, I DID mention that it took place a few years ago. I was still in high school during the time it happened.

[Kelly DeWinter]

[QUOTE=Tara in the closet;2336216]I can testify to how true this post is.
.........QUOTE]

I don't recall implying that your post was not true ?

[Eve_WA]

Dont be so quick to dismiss the warning of the other posters. It really does only take ONE bystander to make this situation UGLY! Especially given this was an academic environment.

A TRUE example:
One of my neighbors was at work, flirting with a co worker. They knew each other QUITE well. Their conversation was overheard by another who reported it to HR. They were both fired for sexual harassment. The both were fine with the flirting, they didnt feel it was harassment, or unwanted. There was no 'touching' of any kind. But the onlooker was offended.. DONE! There was no foul language used. There was no harassing behavior. It was innuendo, plain and simple. Didnt matter. Both of their careers were ruined. So just because you didnt feel threatened, just because you were OK with it, doesnt make it harmless or un prosecutable in today's world.

I can see a educational environment being just as cautious (if not more so), trying to avoid a lawsuit, or more bad press. Especially after the recent suicides due to teasing and bullying that have occurred recently.

My $.02

[GaleWarning]

Okay, final input here.

IF a total stranger did that, I would be absolutely incensed. I would let them know that that was not acceptable, either in the crowd, or at a later time.

If an acquaintance (someone I know only by name) did that, look above

If my GF did that, totally other matter, in fact I would return the favor.

Your OP was confusing ("a girl I barely know", that for me falls under the classification of acquaintance)

I guess the real question is this. IF a guy had done this to you. A guy you barely know. Would you be so nonchalant about it? IF not, then why do you accept it in the manner you do from someone that has female body parts?

Oh and Rye, I understand your question, but this is not so easy to understand. For many here this was clearly abuse, to one or two it was no big deal. The OP is now saying they don't care. So I no longer care. I for my part am just trying to point out some incongruous features of this thread.

My final thoughts and comments ...

1. My job requires me to make swift and accurate assessments of people and situations, by all possible means ... what is said and unsaid, written and implied (and body language if I am physically present!).
2. When I read the OP, I did NOT focus on one single aspect of the post, as Pythos seems to have done. Sure, I understood that the GG was virtually a stranger, but I read on before making a judgement call.
3. The rest of the post seemed to me to clearly say that Tara did NOT feel sexually violated by the incident, but flattered, even if secretly.
4. Believe me, Pythos, Kelly and others who share your views, had I for one moment felt that your assessment of the situation was correct, I would have been on your side of the fence, high heels and all!
5. There is a very real danger that those who hold strong views on issues such as this can cause a whole lot of unnecessary long-term grief by rushing to condemn a possibly innocent person, and I have told two stories from my own personal experience as examples of what I mean.
6. Before issuing a verdict, it is vital to ask questions and make every effort to ascertain all the facts of the matter ... I will relate two more true stories to end.
7. I am visiting an art classroom to observe a student teacher as she presents a practice lesson. As we walk around watching the children as they draw, she points out one lass and says to me, "I'm very worried about her." "Why?", I ask. "She only ever uses a black crayon when doing a drawing," the student tells me. I suggest to her that she might ask the lass to explain why she only uses a black crayon. Later, during the debriefing session, the student teacher tells me that the lass only has one crayon, the black one. Her mind is set at ease.
8. I am a relief teacher in a maths classroom. Suddenly a young lass stands up and rushes towards the door. I stop her and ask what is going on. Wild-eyed, she tells me that she MUST leave the room then and there. I look into her eyes and let her go. "What's going on?", I ask the class. "She draws wierd pictures," they tell me and proceed to describe them to me (their exact nature has been censored, they are wierd!). I let rip, as I did in some of my earlier posts on this thread, and let the class know in no uncertain terms, that the lass deserves their help and support, not their ridicule or condemnation. They are stunned into reflective silence. Later I report the incident to the relevant authorities at the school, who have no idea that the lass is an at-risk student!
9. The lass in point 7 above is now an accomplished graphic artist. The lass in point 8 is alive and well and living in a far better space, surrounded by fellow-students who are more accepting of her, because they are now more knowledgable about her circumstances.

10. And lastly, whatever you do, do it in the best interests of ALL concerned, never in your own interests alone. People matter more than causes; others more than ourselves.
Bless us all, as we struggle through our lives.