How have you benefitted as a person?

[Kate Simmons]

How have you benefitted from crossdressing as a person? What positive things has it done for you, if any? When I recognized it was a process I used it as a vehicle to get in touch with myself and my deep feelings that I was always "forbidden" to express as a man. I accepted my own "feminine" feelings, made them my own and integrated them into my overall self. Now I can always be myself any time any where regardless of appearance. It gave me a new sense of freedom as well.It also helped me to take responsibility for my own actions and gave me the ability to deal with the outcomes of all of my decisions, right or wrong. I'm wondering how others have become a better person by going through this process and increasing self awareness. :)

[Marie-Elise]

I think that, since I told my wife, I have a new sense of confidence in business and social life. I'm thinking that keeping it from her for so many years might have given me a subconscious feeling of inadequacy or maybe guilt. I don't know. But I am more confident.

[StaceyJane]

Crossdressing has given me a big boost in self confidence.

[Rianna Humble]

For me, dressing isn't about what I do, it is about who I am. I think that accepting who I am has helped me to achieve a new level of understanding and empathy with other people. As long as I was fighting myself, I couldn't help but carry that conflict over into my relations with others.

I have long had a reputation as someone approachable and helpful, but I now seem to have added another level of calmness and compassion to that - even when I have to deliver sometimes unwelcome news.

[Loni]

i do not know if "better" is the right wording.
but i am less stressed out in all of my life. yes there are two different side of it and the two shall never meet. but just being my self is great.
i just have to remember.
some have only know me in drab.
some know me both ways.
and some have never seen me not dressed.

life can be good if you know what rocks to turn over.

.

[suzy1]

I have benefitted in that I enjoy life so much more having got in touch with my inner feelings just like you Denise. And since getting a place of my own and having the freedom to be Suzy most of the time I have never been so happy.

Have fun, SUZY

[KlaireLarnia]

I have benefitted in the respect that I understand myself a lot more, and use this to draw of various parts of my personality to aid me in my day to day life. So being more open, friendly, sympatheic when needed. The two sides of me are more balanced.

I have also learned more about who I am and what drives me in life through my crossdressing. Again with the above, I see a whole person and not a disjointed one now.

Klaire

[Billijo49504]

With the help of a few other people, I got a trans group in our town going. And it was something that was very much needed here....Billijo

[Roberta Marie]

I don't know that the act of crossdressing has help in my life, but being transgendered, or more specifically dual gendered, has been a great asset, even before I had an understanding of what it is. As a paramedic, I think that because I had more of that feminine side, I was able to have more empathy with my patients, making me a better medic. Then, later in my career as a fire officer, when our department hired our first woman firefighter she was assigned to my shift. I think that, again, it was my feminine side and empathy that allowed me to help her adapt to the male dominated, testosterone driven profession. Now that I'm getting involved in theatre, I think that being dual gendered is helping me to form a bridge between the creative side and the technical side of the stage.

Bobbi

[Frédérique]

How have you benefited from crossdressing as a person? What positive things has it done for you, if any? I'm wondering how others have become a better person by going through this process and increasing self awareness.

Oh, I believe in myself a lot more, since I know I can do anything – I’ve done THIS, one of the most difficult things a male can do, even though I never set out to “push the envelope.” It (crossdressing) just happened, and it was, and continues to be, a beautiful experience. I don’t recognize any feelings I may have as being feminine, and thus apart, from my masculine underpainting. Instead, I see that it was me all along, just in a different wrapper, so to say. I’m shy, sensitive, and “girly” by nature, so the clothes only express that fact in a not-too-subtle way. I’ve been self-aware from the get-go, so that may explain why I took steps (in women’s shoes) to express myself in this manner. It’s all good, as far as I’m concerned, and I’m responsible for my own happiness...
:battingeyelashes:

[JohnH]

I am grateful that I have been able to develop my feminine side. Before I developed my feminine side I was deeply suicidal. My wife does not understand the need for a man to develop his feminine side, but in time I hope she will understand that need.

I have been able to get my weight down and to control my drinking and temper with my understanding my feminine side.

I really appreciate Frédérique's kind postings when I was being criticised. She is such a kind person.

With love,

John

[Karren H]

I smell a lot prettier!!!

[Jason+]

It's half allowed and half forced me to take a hard honest look at who and what I am and am not. I've had to examine a lot of traditionaly learned behavior and thoughts based on their actual merits or failings rather than accepting them at face value.

[Albertine]

I've dated several transwomen / cross-dressers in the last couple of years. I'm a cis-gendered woman. More often than not at some point someone will share an insecurity or two or three. I feel a tremendous joy when I can redirect a lover to a place of self acceptance even if it's just a baby step. It's also wonderful to accompany a girl-friend out on the town for dinner or to the museum. Being authentic and real is on of the best gifts.

[Michelle Crossfire]

I don't know just yet. i think the jury is still out on this one. My wife says she likes it when i dress, so that helps that she says that. I think of it as more of a stress relief. I don't go out dressed. never have, not looking to do so yet either. it has widened my perspective on some things however.

[docrobbysherry]

Ok, benefits:

Lost weight. Drink less. Feel younger than friends my age. More interest in life. Met, and HOPE to meet, some of the most interesting, real, friendly, and sensitive people EVER!:)

On the DOWN side; my house, yard, car, and STASH hiding places r a MESS!:sad:

[wendy68]

Well its certainly helped me in terms of self--but played into a heavy cost otherwise. Wife divorced me two months ago. Not totally a bad thing in that she admitted that my dressing was not the chief reason-she said she wanted a new lifestlye of her own which includes dating multiple people. So the marriage was not likely to succeed in any account and she wanted nothing to do with counseling since she wanted her new life style. Most my friends and family are happy she filed for divorce because they never liked the way she treated me

[Rebecca Sue]

Crossdressing has given me the ability to see things from other people's point of view which in turn has made me more tolerant and understanding.

[Michelle Crossfire]

Well its certainly helped me in terms of self--but played into a heavy cost otherwise. Wife divorced me two months ago. Not totally a bad thing in that she admitted that my dressing was not the chief reason-she said she wanted a new lifestlye of her own which includes dating multiple people. So the marriage was not likely to succeed in any account and she wanted nothing to do with counseling since she wanted her new life style. Most my friends and family are happy she filed for divorce because they never liked the way she treated me

hopefully, there were no kids involved in your divorce. my divorce has been over for 5 years, and we will fight over custody of our daughter. the marriage was a total disaster, and in my opinion, never should have been. i have since remarried and have an understanding and helpful wife. not many people cared for my first wife either, and we have all learned alot about her during the divorce proceedings and afterwards as well. hopefully you did not spend a fortune on corrupt attorneys. ours cost us over $100,000 (on her end alone). sorry if i am venting some. at least it appears you were able to separate amicably. best of luck to you.

[Raychel]

How have you benefitted as a person?

For the first time in my life I am comfortable with myself. It has been a long road, But I can tell you that for the first 45 years of my life I had been in hiding. Alwaya had that dark secret. But after telling my wife and her acceptance of the true me. I finally have a feeling of peace.

This has all beneffited our relationship, In the fact that there is now a connection between my wife and I that can never be broken, Hard to saym but I feel that it has truely helped me be more at ease with her. I can now talk to her about anything. There is no fear that she may get too mad. She has accepted, what I would call the bigest deal breaker in any relationship.

I hope this all makes sense. :daydreaming:

[Lee Andrews]

I grew up with a father that was very homophobic and very intolerant of others that didn't fit the norm. I truly believe I would have been the same way if it wasn't for Cross Dressing. It changed the way I look at people as a whole. All I could ever think was if he knew we would have never spent any time together even though I'm still the same person, I just have a love for the frilly things in life. But that wouldn't matter to him.

My outlook is that we only get one trip through this thing called life so as long as you are not hurting anyone else do what makes you happy.

[Sally24]

Have to agree with the self confidence and reduction in stress. I haven't been shy since my high school days but this has taken it to a whole new level. I also think about people and their feelings alot more. And I have much more in common with my wife and daughter. We all comment and analyze styles, clothing, makeup etc. on all the women we see. It can be incredibly bonding to be able to do that on a regular basis without it seeming unusual. While my son and I are a little more distant, my relationship with my daughter has never been closer!

On the purely physical side, I've managed to reduce my weight and improve my eating habits. My facial skin hasn't been this nice since I was 10! I've always been pretty fit but I appreciate that I also have a certain amount of grace that makes me feel very feminine. If I can keep this level of fitness into my 60's I will be very happy!

[JennSC]

What a joy it is to read so many positive comments. For me it is a constant revelation of who/what I am. No longer do I have to overcompensate on my male side to feel adequate, and in the same token I don't need to do the same on my femme side. The journey has led me to accept that there are two sides of me, two circles that intersect into a common being (remember those Venn diagrams from math class???). There is a certain spirituality to it also, finding peace in who I am as part male, part female, both of whom make up the whole person that I am becoming. My world view has changed dramatically. I am more accepting of others, and understand more and more that there is more in the world than the narrow, conservative one that I grew up in. My only regret is that it took so long to reach where I now find myself. For those of you who are in your 20s and 30s, celebrate who you are and don't allow the expectations or prejudices of the world to keep you from being who you are inside.

[AKAMichelle]

For me it changed my life. When I decided to conquer my fear of going out in public, I got many unexpected consequences. My business was a disaster and I was close to suicide. Then I conquered my fears of going out, only to find that the fears which were crippling my business went away also. I turned around my business and saved my life in the process. So in my life, cd'ing changed my life! :D

[t-girlxsophie]

My wife has said to me in the past that Sophie is much more considerate,and shows her emotions much more,The last time she said it ( a cpl years ago),got me thinking and I have to agree It is good that I have this in my makeup,but I also realised then that some of those emotions should be there in my male side too and I have made a conscious attempt to change since then,Improve him you might say LOL.Sophie has in effect changed my whole self (male and female) for the good,


:hugs:Sophie

[suchacutie]

OMG...where do I start?

My wife and I have called my transgerderism an adventure. She and I have discussed every imaginable facet of being a woman. We've discussed what it is like to grow up as a girl, what is important to a woman emotionally, how and why a woman acts as she does, and everything else from the "venus vs. mars" situation, and even how to giggle. I thought I knew my wife, but these discussions have opened my eyes. On the way, we also talked about growing up as a boy, sharing from both sides.

Then there is the whole idea of having Tina look her best requires that her male side improves. Hair management, nail management, skin management, weight management, and general health! In all honesty, looking at many of the older men I come into contact with through Tina's eyes made me look at my male self. I didn't like what I saw and Tina's existence has changed that around.

Lastly, my wife and I have worked hard to keep Tina as a separate "person", and that has allowed me to understand the feminine part of me that has always existed. By allowing her to be her own person we've identified those characteristics that are our feminine side of us. It turns out Tina is fastidious, detailed, persistent, focussed...many of the characteristics that I like about me, and it's allowed me to optimize those parts of me.

I can't say enough positive about what Tina has brought to our overall life!

Tina!

[Ria]

Such a great topic Denise!

A greater sense of compassion and love for my wife... on a completely different note, I keep much more fit as a result of crossdressing. Fitting into the little outfits is so rewarding when you're happy with your figure (to the degree to which you can do something about it)

[CharlotteCD]

I have learnt how to change clothes very quickly.
I can undress a woman much easier now ;)

More serious change:
I feel as though I can deal with anything quite easily. Take my cancer diagnosis, I have been able to cope with it much easier than most people. I think my attitude of fighting for something comes from my crossdressing.

[Lucy_Bella]

Denise,

I accepted my Cding ( I do ) does not mean I have embrassed it..( at this time ).. I know it is by choice that I remain in the closet , I wouldn't have it any other way.. But it comes at a cost, just as exposeing myself would .. I'll explain..

I find myself being non productive due to hideing in my room ( because my kids moved back home ) .I do not do as many phyiscal things as I had in the past because of my selfish lures to dressing.. I have become a Hermit , my social life has all but died... I have abandon my friends , I do not go out and I have given up on any hopes of finding A Girlfriend because most have no clue that crossdressers can be straight and run for the hills..

So like I said it's by choice so no need for any lectures, I tried " Meet Groups " they should be called " Meat Groups " not at all for me.. I hav not given up, I know in time ( I hope ) the kids will move out. But it's been almost two years that I have lost most of my freedom due to the company but to me it's worth it .So sometimes Crossdressing do not benifit .. I am happy for those who have as I am sure there are some but for me..No none at all it's more like a burden..

[Rachel Morley]

How have I benefited as a person? I think I have more empathy toward women. I don't mean clothes. I think that that my crossdressing and going out in public gives me precious insights that go well beyond what a "regular" non-trans male is aware of, and my wife is the first to sing the praises of crossdressing husbands who do really "get" many things about women that other guys can't.

For example, she loves it that I understand why it sometimes takes her a long time to get ready to go for an evening out; why she just doesn't feel pretty some days despite looking more or less the same as always; why a woman might feel vulnerable when walking to the car late at night. etc etc. All of these things (and more) can, and should, make crossdressers much more sensitive to women's feelings, and much more in tune with women's lives than most guys typically are. My bi-gendered life does give me valuable insights into what it "might" be like to be female, but of course, it stops well short of what it's actually like to be a woman. Because of all these things, I believe crossdressing has made me a better person.

[AvidFan]

I've always had trouble sleeping. But since I started wearing lady stuff to bed, I sleep like a baby. I'm also less stressed which lessens my back pain (which I'm supposed to be on disability for), and me and the SO get along better now. Its been beneficial all around, but its only been a few weeks,but the best few weeks since I was a teenager.

[hhdave]

I confided to my ex-wife that I wanted to know what it was like to wear women's shoes, and she was OK with it. My last girlfriend was the exact opposite and wanted nothing to do with them. I tried to give them up, but realized that the shoes are part of who I am. I bought a dress recently, and somehow that also seems part of who I am. I feel like if I had tried to ignore crossdressing completely I would be unhappy overall, but while I feel a little like I'm unusual and "different" from most guys I don't feel ashamed of it. I feel somewhat liberated that gee, I'm not the only guy who wants to wear what women wear. After all, they wear what we wear and nobody cares much. Why are guys who want to wear what women wear not given the same consideration?

[Stephanie Anne]

Back when I was young and I snuck crossdressing, I felt dirty and guilty. So I would say crossdressing made me feel like a horrible person. Thankfully I came to understand what it is to be a trans woman and have really grown as a person and not just a unhappy lump of flesh.

[danielletorresani]

For me it's had more cons than pros. I haven't grown as a person as a result of it or anything like that.