told my parents

[CatAttack]

First of all, sorry this turned out to be really long..

So in an earlier thread, I had mentioned my plans to come out to my parents over Thanksgiving. They already knew I crossdressed and came to terms with that [I think/hope] a few years ago. I felt like it would be a good time because we would all be together and also because the acronym for Thanksgiving would be TG, haha.

Anyways, it turned out that my aunt's family wasn't going to come over for dinner so that was another plus [they live next door too, so I don't know why they didn't want to come, but a plus]. Long story short, when we were about to finish dinner, I told my parents that I was going to tell them something that they might get really really mad/shocked about.

My mom immediately started to look really concerned and asked me what, and for a moment I couldn't bring up the words, but then I told them. I told them that I was going to transition and that it was something that I have to do. My mom didn't take this very well and started to get angry while my dad was just quiet. She started asking all the questions like "why are you doing this to us?", "what am I going to tell my friends/family?".. etc.. she even indirectly called me a freak "you know that everyone will think you're a freak right?".. anyways that really hurt. Meanwhile my dad tried to talk me out of it logically like "isn't there an alternative?", "what about having children?", etc.. basically good legitimate questions. I had answers for these because I had thought about this for a while and I explained in a calm manner.

Eventually though, me and my mom got into an argument about this and she told me that she will never accept this. At this point I told them that I was sorry and left..

This really hurt me and I was talking to my friend about this the day after [my one friend who knows what is going on] and just as I told her all the bad stuff, I got a call from my mom! She sounded cool and seemed accepting and asked me to come back on Sunday [today] to have lunch with them. And here I am writing this while they are cooking. Sooo I totally hope this goes well!

//edit to note:
My dad didn't seem to have a big problem with all this which was a surprise.

[Jorja]

I hope everything turns out well for you Katty.
Remember, it is a shock to your parents. Give them some time, be as open and honest with them as you can be. In the end, you have to do what is best for YOU not them.

Please know you have all of us here that do understand and support you. Several of us have been through this ourselves. Feel free to PM or email me if you need to talk about it.

[JenniferB]

Eventually though, me and my mom got into an argument about this and she told me that she will never accept this. At this point I told them that I was sorry and left..

You actually announced your plan to transition at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
I have a hard time imagining a worse time to do that.

[Steph.TS]

Congratulations, you are very brave, I could only bring myself to tell my mom, I'm quite worried about telling my dad. it shows you have real strength to come out like that.

[Faith_G]

You actually announced your plan to transition at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
I have a hard time imagining a worse time to do that.Yeah, probably not the best timing, but it's done now. I don't think we should beat her up over that.

Katty, much of my family had the same selfish reaction initially ("Why are you doing this to us? What am I going to tell my friends." etc.) but once they had a little time to think and learn more about transsexualism they became much more accepting and concerned for my well-being rather than theirs.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm sorry, I cannot agree with those who criticise katty for choosing the end of a family event to talk to her family.

She has put a lot of thought into when and how to come out to her parents about her need to transition. It can't have been an easy choice and she had already performed her dutiful offspring role during the meal.

Katty, I hope that now your mum has had a chance to think things over she will have changed her mind about never accepting you. That was a hurtful attitude, I hope it was only the initial shock talking.

[Karen564]

Hope all is going well Katty...

I think Thanksgiving was as good of a time as any...When I originally planned my coming out to my Mom, thought about doing the same as you right after dinner...but there was a change of plans at our dinner that made it a very bad time, which sucked...so I had to postpone it to a later time, which it ended up happening on Easter...which seemed even more fitting in a sense, after I thought about it...

...:hugs:

[juligirl1984]

wow good for you! I wish I could just tell my folks about crossdressing. I wish I had your strength. congrats!

[SherriePall]

Katty -- Thanks for sharing that with us. Personally, if I were to transition, I could not imagine any good time to tell my family. In other words, you did what you had to do eventually. Keep us posted.

[Debglam]

Katty,

Give them some time to absorb what you told them. A very difficult conversation but one that you had to have. You have to be true to yourself - this life is just too short.

[CatAttack]

Thanks to everyone for the support!

Yeah, I don't think my mom really meant all the things she said.. After a long talk today, my parents are reluctantly accepting the fact that I am going to transition. I think things are only going to get better from here. hopefully

[juligirl1984]

good news.

[Danni Bear]

Katty,

Just keep in mind. Slow and steady, don't shove it in their face. It takes time for parents to come to grips with things of this magnitude about their children.

Good luck and keep safe
Danni

[7sisters]

Your mom and dad need time. Till then dont surprise them with more information or sudden huge lifestyle changes. Just keep things at a level where they will not fear they are 'losing' their child. All the best.

[Victoria Anne]

congratulations Katty , it took a lot of courage to have that talk with your family . When I talked to my family my mother's response was the same but I think she will come around , as the other ladies have said it is a very difficult thing for a pparent to grasp much less understand . Hang in there , it will get better .

[minirach88]

I have only had the courage to tell my mom, not my dad yet. It sounds like your parents just need more time. It's great that they didn't respond with threats or violence. That is the reason I don't want to come out to my dad.

Best of luck to you kitty!

On a second note, I can't believe members of this community are chastising her on coming out on Thanksgiving. It just blows my mind some have the mindset to critique her on such a trivial fact as this.

[CatAttack]

Hey thanks again everyone for your input! I am going to let my parents think about it for a while and hopefully they will be much more accepting in time. They are already much more accepting of this now than when I had first told them on Thanksgiving, so I have my fingers crossed.

[Aprilrain]

It's funny because my sister was commenting on how thanksgiving seems to be the day when people dump stuff on families this was the day before I told her about me. Lol. Anyway I said maybe it's because you don't want to do it at Christmas. Which we agreed had a certain logic to it.

Good luck with your parents. I'm dreading THAT conversation.

[Debb]

Good on you, Katty! Well done, and it seems the results are shaping up to be not-so-bad.