I came out tonight,and my amazing soul mate is behind me all the way!

[nylon boy]

The last few weeks have been so hard!my crossdressing has gone to extremes over the last few weeks and i think this is because i want to progress and go out en femme without secrets!My girl has slowly been suspecting for months and has told me tonight she knew all along and has been waiting for me to come clean....and i have done tonight!!she was annoyed i kept it a secret for so long and the advice ive had off people on here was so right!,she accepts my alter ego and i feel im so lucky to have her,Lexie is out and here to stay!

[JulieC]

Bravo and congratulations!!!!

As I've seen so many times, GG's reactions which are negative are frequently more based on the lies and deceit in hiding than the crossdressing itself.

[StevieCD]

Congratulations Lexie. I had a GF that mostly supported me. I didn't cherish her like I should have and she split. Hold on tight, You have a good one there.

[nylon boy]

Believe me my grip on my girl is of a gorrilas!!she is amazing!

[jennifer easton]

my advice would be not to squeeze to tight,or smother her with so much Alexis, that you run her off, let things run there course and not push, Jennifer

[nylon boy]

Id never do that jennifer but good advice all the same xx!i will take things as they come and enjoy my new life with her x

[ReineD]

Congratulations! :)

Also, as a GG, I'd like to give you some advice, which is drawn directly from my personal experience.

Now that you feel you have more freedom, you may get into what others call here the pink fog, which is to understandably maximize your femme expression and experiences. I don't know how much you go out now, but if you don't, you may wish to begin doing so and this will mean perfecting your look even more: an increase in wardrobe and accessories, thinning out your brows, shaving more than just your legs, perhaps growing out your natural nails, growing and styling your hair, and getting laser beard removal. Along with this, you may wish to ramp up the things you do as Lexie out in public, and this may mean finding people with whom you can do them with. My SO had a myspace profile where she set about meeting accepting GGs, straight and lesbian, and also other CDs. You may also wish to go to TG conventions, get makeovers, have photoshoots, and post all these wonderful improvements to your looks online.

Youf gf may or may not already have a limited idea of how the CDing fits in your life. If she is the way I was in the beginning, she may just see it as something you wish to do occasionally in the privacy of your home, and it may come as a surprise to her if you ramp it up the way I've described above. If you do go ahead to take advantage of your newly found external and internal freedom, then I strongly advise you to have frequent talks with your gf as to your intentions, and also ask her frequently how she feels about all the changes. It might not hurt to also keep her current with your gender identification, since there is a chance this will alter as well. I found out that my SO no longer identified as a man, but instead as dualgender when I saw her status change on her myspace profile. There were so many changes in my SO after she found acceptance in me, that I did become convinced that everything paled in comparison the CDing, including me, and that she was well on her way to transition.

I don't wish to paint a dire picture, everything did work out in the end with my SO and I, but a bit more communication would have saved me a bucket of tears. In my SOs defense, she felt that I was behind her 100% with all the changes, since I was already so supportive. But, when they got to be too much for me and I felt left behind, and it all happened so quickly, a dynamics developed between us where, when I voiced my concerns, I thought that she felt I was being overly insecure. I also was afraid to have her feel as if I was not supportive of the CDing, so I didn't want to come off as if I was attempting to place any restrictions on her.

[Jenny Gurl]

Congratulations. I am glad to hear she is ok with it. As others have said here in the past, ease into any changes and keep the communication lines open.

On a side note, mine actually got me two birthday cards this year. One for the male me and one for Jenny. It is a wonderful feeling sharing the experience with your S.O. We went shopping together for cloths, shoes, etc. It was great being her girlfriend for a change. I can't even explain how it felt experiencing female bonding for the first time. It is so different from male bonding. Make sure she knows she is not losing her guy, she is gaining a BFF. As you change, she may need reassuring every now and then that you will still be her guy when she needs him.

[nylon boy]

Congratulations! :)

Also, as a GG, I'd like to give you some advice, which is drawn directly from my personal experience.

Now that you feel you have more freedom, you may get into what others call here the pink fog, which is to understandably maximize your femme expression and experiences. I don't know how much you go out now, but if you don't, you may wish to begin doing so and this will mean perfecting your look even more: an increase in wardrobe and accessories, thinning out your brows, shaving more than just your legs, perhaps growing out your natural nails, growing and styling your hair, and getting laser beard removal. Along with this, you may wish to ramp up the things you do as Lexie out in public, and this may mean finding people with whom you can do them with. My SO had a myspace profile where she set about meeting accepting GGs, straight and lesbian, and also other CDs. You may also wish to go to TG conventions, get makeovers, have photoshoots, and post all these wonderful improvements to your looks online.

Youf gf may or may not already have a limited idea of how the CDing fits in your life. If she is the way I was in the beginning, she may just see it as something you wish to do occasionally in the privacy of your home, and it may come as a surprise to her if you ramp it up the way I've described above. If you do go ahead to take advantage of your newly found external and internal freedom, then I strongly advise you to have frequent talks with your gf as to your intentions, and also ask her frequently how she feels about all the changes. It might not hurt to also keep her current with your gender identification, since there is a chance this will alter as well. I found out that my SO no longer identified as a man, but instead as dualgender when I saw her status change on her myspace profile. There were so many changes in my SO after she found acceptance in me, that I did become convinced that everything paled in comparison the CDing, including me, and that she was well on her way to transition.

I don't wish to paint a dire picture, everything did work out in the end with my SO and I, but a bit more communication would have saved me a bucket of tears. In my SOs defense, she felt that I was behind her 100% with all the changes, since I was already so supportive. But, when they got to be too much for me and I felt left behind, and it all happened so quickly, a dynamics developed between us where, when I voiced my concerns, I thought that she felt I was being overly insecure. I also was afraid to have her feel as if I was not supportive of the CDing, so I didn't want to come off as if I was attempting to place any restrictions on her.The thing is i love being a man as much as do a girl so it could never take over,i 100% hear your advice and its brilliant,i have mulled this over for over a year now,ill definately ease her in slowly,im not even gonna bring it up again with her im just gonna wait for her to ask me questions so she doesnt feel overloaded with it all xx

[gaylegirlify]

Congratulations! :)

Also, as a GG, I'd like to give you some advice, which is drawn directly from my personal experience.

Now that you feel you have more freedom, you may get into what others call here the pink fog, which is to understandably maximize your femme expression and experiences. I don't know how much you go out now, but if you don't, you may wish to begin doing so and this will mean perfecting your look even more: an increase in wardrobe and accessories, thinning out your brows, shaving more than just your legs, perhaps growing out your natural nails, growing and styling your hair, and getting laser beard removal. Along with this, you may wish to ramp up the things you do as Lexie out in public, and this may mean finding people with whom you can do them with. My SO had a myspace profile where she set about meeting accepting GGs, straight and lesbian, and also other CDs. You may also wish to go to TG conventions, get makeovers, have photoshoots, and post all these wonderful improvements to your looks online.

Youf gf may or may not already have a limited idea of how the CDing fits in your life. If she is the way I was in the beginning, she may just see it as something you wish to do occasionally in the privacy of your home, and it may come as a surprise to her if you ramp it up the way I've described above. If you do go ahead to take advantage of your newly found external and internal freedom, then I strongly advise you to have frequent talks with your gf as to your intentions, and also ask her frequently how she feels about all the changes. It might not hurt to also keep her current with your gender identification, since there is a chance this will alter as well. I found out that my SO no longer identified as a man, but instead as dualgender when I saw her status change on her myspace profile. There were so many changes in my SO after she found acceptance in me, that I did become convinced that everything paled in comparison the CDing, including me, and that she was well on her way to transition.

I don't wish to paint a dire picture, everything did work out in the end with my SO and I, but a bit more communication would have saved me a bucket of tears. In my SOs defense, she felt that I was behind her 100% with all the changes, since I was already so supportive. But, when they got to be too much for me and I felt left behind, and it all happened so quickly, a dynamics developed between us where, when I voiced my concerns, I thought that she felt I was being overly insecure. I also was afraid to have her feel as if I was not supportive of the CDing, so I didn't want to come off as if I was attempting to place any restrictions on her.

You are a very understanding woman, your SO is very lucky to have you.

Gayle xx

[Gerrijerry]

All is well that ends well. But as has been already said. What you think is acceptance may not be what she is thinking is acceptance. Talk a lot and go slow.

[tinysquid]

Soo jealous of your courage... you have inspired me... =]

[JOJO44]

The last few weeks have been so hard!my crossdressing has gone to extremes over the last few weeks and i think this is because i want to progress and go out en femme without secrets!My girl has slowly been suspecting for months and has told me tonight she knew all along and has been waiting for me to come clean....and i have done tonight!!she was annoyed i kept it a secret for so long and the advice ive had off people on here was so right!,she accepts my alter ego and i feel im so lucky to have her,Lexie is out and here to stay!

Congratulations on getting yourself a wonderful understanding girl friend.
Now do both of you a big favor and go back and reread what ReindeD has to say.
She has the inside info if we are smart enough to do some insider trading.

Jo

[nylon boy]

My problem is where to go next and what to say as i want to ease her in slowly should i wait for to ask me questions?

[Roberta Marie]

My problem is where to go next and what to say as i want to ease her in slowly should i wait for to ask me questions?

Alexis,

Both you and your girlfriend seem to be pretty level headed, and you seem to be asking yourself the right questions. She may need a little while to figure out what questions she wants to ask, and to try to figure out her feelings about it. But, she also may be waiting for you to begin a dialogue, not wanting to push you. So, after a day or 2, I would not hesitate to bring the subject up again with a question about what she's thinking about your crossdressing.

Others have stressed the importance os communication, so I want to stress the importance of listening as a part of communication. When you listen to her questions and to her concerns, don't be thinking about how to answer her. Rather, listen to her with the intent of understanding her. Wait until she is done talking, then maybe ask her a question about what she said, to make sure that you understand. Then take a few moments to put together what you want to say. Be open and honest. If you're not sure of the answer, tell her so, and that you need some time to think about it. But don't try to bluff your way through.

All too often when we are in a discussion, especially if it's an emotionally charged subject, we will be thinking about our response to something said rather than listening to the rest of the statement or question, and miss the most important point. This can really gum up the works.

Also, don't make the discussions about you. Make sure that you talk about her feelings, and put them ahead of your own. I think you will find that if you do this, she will end up being more concerned about your feelings and needs. It's a 2 way street, and you are only half of the relationship.

Just my opinion.

Grace,
Bobbi

[VS Fan]

I think a little waiting to see if she asks questions is in order, but I think it's ok to open up a bit also. In my personal experience, you can't keep "hiding" it all, or what was the point of telling? :) I definitely think going slow is a good idea, but no point in hiding those painted toes etc at this point!
VS Fan

[Roberta Marie]

Also, as a GG, I'd like to give you some advice, which is drawn directly from my personal experience.


Reine,

What you say here sounds so similar to what my wife has said to me. She's often said that at first she did not understand just how much this would be part of me, that she thought it would be just an occasional thing. And, to be honest, when I first came out to her I had no idea how much a part of me this is. But, we've always tried to be there for each other as we explore what this means to the both of us, and figure out where to go next.

It sounds like your husband has married a woman that is as amazing as my wife.

Grace,

Bobbi

[ReineD]

My problem is where to go next and what to say as i want to ease her in slowly should i wait for to ask me questions?

Well, what would you like to do and how would you like your gf to be involved? Has she expressed any interest in meeting Lexie? That would be a good start, and then you can go from there. :)



It sounds like your husband has married a woman that is as amazing as my wife.

Thank you! :o But we are not married, nor do we live together. It's complicated.