"Go find a girlfriend" she said

[LitaKelley]

So, my wife isn't into skirts, or dresses, high heels, or lingerie, pantyhose, makeup or anything sexy..

Tonight, I asked her for her opinion on a skirt I put on and she says "Go find a girlfriend". Of course I laughed, but I had to ask.. "what do you mean" and she says "you're a girl... you need other girls as friends.. so you can ask them about this shxx you're always asking me.. I'm not into the fashion and makeup shxx like you are"

So, just to be sure, I said "yeah, and like you wouldn't be bothered by me being with other women" and she said "you're a woman.. why would I be upset about you hanging out with other women" :eek::eek::eek: "I'd be more worried if you were hanging out with men while you were dressed up" :eek::eek::eek:


OK.. so.. how do I find female friends to do girl stuff with?

[RachelF]

Sorry I cannot help you with your questio, but I wanted to comment as my wife is similar to yours.

She does not use skirts, she uses very few make up, never knows what is the current fashion trend, I boughted her sexy stuff she never uses and so on.

Isn´t it frustrating?.

Initially, I started to surf female clothing and underware websites to buy stuff for her ... after seeing so much sexy things I started again my crossdressing (first time was when I was 12 years old, and never crossdressed since 14).

Rachel

[joanna marie]

She does not use skirts, she uses very few make up, never knows what is the current fashion trend, I boughted her sexy stuff she never uses and so on.

Isn´t it frustrating?.

I think that we're married to the same woman

[Karren H]

Get it in writing!!! That way it will be easier to defend against when she file for divorce for going out on her!! Lol.

[Valerie1973]

How funny, my wife is the same as well. She owns 1 skirt and 3 dressed and never wears them. She hardly ever uses makeup other than for work and If we go out to dinner. Every time we have an argument she has told me to go and get f***** to chill out. I've 8 1/2 years to go with my job and I retire with them and I'm outta here without her. Sorry LitaKelley, I want to find some girls to hang out with too. I too bought many outfits for my wife and they never got worn. I know what that is like Rachel.
Valerie

[juligirl1984]

aw that would be a bummer... I hate how some woman do not appreciate there selves. my ex fiance was like that too. I'd buy her such nice sexy things for her to wear and she dressed like a BUM! i did not get it at all!!!! aw that is messed up, she tells you to go out and get F$^@#$ ???? thats plain rude....

[Amanda22]

Get it in writing!!! That way it will be easier to defend against when she file for divorce for going out on her!! Lol.

I had the same thought, seriously.

[linnea]

It would be great to have girlfriends and I have sought them too, but seriously (as Amanda wrote) if your SO tells you it's okay, I think that you should get it in writing and then go for it. But at that point, I'm at a loss--where to find them. I've got some female friends who accept my crossdressing but I haven't had the opportunity to spend enough time with them to develop "girlfriend" relationships--YET. But I will in the near future.

[suchacutie]

All my sirens went off as well! I would be very careful with this one.

She is basically saying that she is willing to share your emotional time with other people. That really does not bode well, IMHO. If she wants you to have a life of your own, what is she telling you?

It would all but put me into a panic.

Honestly.

Tina

[Sheila11]

If my wife told me to get some girlfriends, all you would see is the screen door swinging.

[Joni T]

Be careful with girlfriends. I had one for the last 5 months and the wife found out about her (texting and Facebook will get you busted every time). We had our 24th anniversary 2 weeks ago, btw. It has not been a pretty sight around our house lately. The bank has foreclosed on our house and now she's talking divorce as well. All I can say is if that happens I'm leaving Kalifornicatia and moving to the United States. Gun-people will understand.
Jon

[Saren]

Be careful with girlfriends. I had one for the last 5 months and the wife found out about her (texting and Facebook will get you busted every time). We had our 24th anniversary 2 weeks ago, btw. It has not been a pretty sight around our house lately. The bank has foreclosed on our house and now she's talking divorce as well. All I can say is if that happens I'm leaving Kalifornicatia and moving to the United States. Gun-people will understand.
Jon

Well, I'm sure the OP's wife didn't mean a girlfriend for a physical relationship, or to cheat with. One that LitaKelly can have girl time with, go shopping, doing makeup, and hair and stuff like that.

[LitaKelley]

All my sirens went off as well! I would be very careful with this one.

She is basically saying that she is willing to share your emotional time with other people. That really does not bode well, IMHO. If she wants you to have a life of your own, what is she telling you?

It would all but put me into a panic.

Honestly.

Tina

Well.. it's like this... a woman needs female friends.. right? My wife has female friends and I'm not worried about her having any sort of affair with them. We're not talking about "girlfriend" as in a relationship sort of thing, but girl FRIEND.. as in a platonic FRIEND that's female.

[juligirl1984]

I'd watch out, you are still a male and I don't care if she is buda, she will start too assume things or get jelious of your "friend" relationship since she won't be in the picture. now if she goes with and its a group thing? maybe that would work better?
remember you wanted her to wear Real girl clothing right? she doesn't care too. or even care about you looks. it just sounds like a bad Idea if you really love her a lot. sorry if I offended you or assumed too much. nothing personal intended.

[ReineD]

Oh dear.

I have to say that Suchacutie and Juligirl are the only ones who get it. lol. Let me give you a bit of insight into a GGs mind (if you're interested).

First, please don't make the mistake of taking your wife literally. I know that it's the sensible thing to do, it's what most husbands do, but in a case like this I really don't think your wife wants you to hang out with other women. I think she's just showing some exasperation over the CDing, since as you say, she dresses for comfort more than fashion and she doesn't get why you're so into the "looks" part of being femme.

Second, Saren suggests finding a gf to shop and do things with just as a friend, but Joni T confirmed the sad truth: wives don't understand the concept of their husbands hanging out with other women very well. Even though you see yourself as a girl when dressed, and activities (shopping, lunch, etc) with another girl wouldn't be sexual for you, you wife still sees you as a male and she may well imagine that as a male, you will have male-like attractions to the other women. Also, the other women you befriend might mistake your friendliness as a come-on. They will certainly be open-minded if they enjoy hanging out with a CD, but there is also the risk that they will also see you primarily as a male and they will enjoy the attention, especially if they are single, or in a bad relationship, or just plain lonely and looking for excitement. They might entirely mistake your intentions as to why you want to hang out with them. And wives understand this, because they are GGs too. I was in that situation with my SO a few years ago. My SO sought GG friends to do things with while dressed, and she thought that a GG she had befriended just wanted to be friends. But, I met this GG (she was gorgeous) and I sensed that she definitely was into collecting men, preferably of the exotic kind. There are vibes that GGs can pick up from one another that go way over men's heads sometimes. :p

And last, back to the concept of not understanding why the wives don't wear all the dressy clothes and the makeup: Valerie said that her wife dresses for work or when they go out. This is normal for most women who are past the "mate seeking" stage of their lives. The priority is on life now: work, the kids, household chores, relaxing, etc. But most importantly, it's because the wives know they are feminine or female without the dresses or the makeup. They don't need the stuff as an enhancement like CDs do. Just as CDs have a hard time understanding why their wives aren't into looking like fashion plates, many wives have a hard time understanding why their CD husbands are so much into it. Hence the exasperation. I mean, the wife probably thinks that her CD husband can and should express femininity without so much focus (or obsession for some) on all the clothes, makeup, and jewelry. If that makes sense.

:2c:

[Chickhe]

If my wife said that, it would be kind of like me telling her to stop askinging me stupid questions about something I expect her to learn and something I'm not interested in learning. I don't think she means go out and make friends, but maybe she means get opinions from the woman sales assistants in the shops and other customers... What you could do is take a fashion design course or something.

[siantv2003]

I think Reine has summed it up beautifully. Tread carefully LitaKelley - its sounds like an invitation or an opportunity but i doubt it is. You may want to set some time aside for a quiet chat to reassess the situation. Best wishes

[Vikki Vixen]

Would it not be better to find some CD friends from this site or local meetings, I'm a novice but most seem to give excellent advice on fashion and make up. Especially if these new friends are married hetro CD's your wife might be even more happy with that.
My wife actually has no problem with me being girlie but if I went near another woman she would give me a sex change op using the nearest sharp object she could find.

:eek::eek:

[t-girlxsophie]

I have CD friends and Have also friendships with GGs,My wife doesnt mind for she knows we just mates.there can be Girls you are just pals with,no more no less,My wife and I socialise with them together,nothing underhand is going on,It can be done you know.

Though I do agree you should tread carefully if your unsure of your partners real views,or hidden meanings

:hugs:Sophie

[erickka]

Fortunately my wife LOVES dresses and gowns. She is a vocalist and she dresses to the nines when she is on stage, but UNFORTUNATELY, she hasn't had too much work lately. She is EXTRA beautiful when she is all decked out. The rest of the time it's jeans and cute girly tops, with minimal makeup.

[Kathryn Martin]

Reine: thank you for saying it out loud and with complete clarity. In my view the statement by Litakelly's wife is a "survival test", and so it should be.

Lita: If you truly want your marriage to survive (and don't forget that your wife has bent a far way to accepting you and has not left or shut the door on your marriage) then you must understand, that what she meant when she said you needed a girlfriend is for you to make the right judgment and precisely NOT do as she suggests. If you take her up on it and do start seeing other women as "platonic friends" she knows that you have no boundaries in your decision making regarding your CDing, or going further. That is a huge issue because it shows that you are not to be trusted as far as the continuation of your marriage is concerned.

You want to be a girl, and say you are one, you have to think and feel like one too.

[Rogina B]

You need to make some T friends...Sisters of Boston on a Friday pm will bring you lots of new ones.Worth the little drive...AND,there will be NO HARM done at home!

[TxKimberly]

Get it in writing!!! That way it will be easier to defend against when she file for divorce for going out on her!! Lol.

You know, I was thinking something related to that. . .
She says that now, but wait until she sees you hanging out with other women. Wanna bet just how quick her opinion flip-flops? Danger Will Robinson, danger!
After 23 years of marriage, I have learned a few things. Among them is the fact that wives dont always say what they mean, or mean what they say. Not knowing your wife, maybe I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions, but I doubt very much if your wife really wants you to find other women to hang out with. This sounds more like it might be "Don't bother me with that stuff" or "I'm irritated and so I'll be flippant or sarcastic."

[Sally24]

I've got a solution. Find some of the more dressier girls at Club 313 the next time you go out in Manchester. Most of the GGs there are lesbians so you're safe with the wife there. They love shopping and fashion and hanging out with girls, but are not attracted to your equipment so no temptation, right? It might take awhile to develope relationships for shopping and such, but take your time.

[audreyinalbany]

as always, Reine has wonderful insight. Thanks to her for being such a valuable member of this forum...

[Jackiefl]

I agree with Kimberly

[Emily Ann Brown]

Come on !!!!!! You are heading for trouble...can't you see this?


Em

[NicoleScott]

Here's how I see it: the wife tolerates to some extent but is a bit put off by your asking for her constant approval. If you really want an opinion on that skirt, she doesn't have one. If you're fishing for compliments, quit doing that, as it irritates her.
My wife knows and accepts, but does not want to participate. It bugs her somewhat if I even ask her to snap a couple photos. So I don't. I take what I have, which is that it's ok to dress up at home, even in front of her, but it's my acivity, not hers or ours. How many cd's who don't have that would love to have it and be happy?
Don't even think about getting girlfriends for fashion advice.

[linda allen]

All my sirens went off as well! I would be very careful with this one.

She is basically saying that she is willing to share your emotional time with other people. That really does not bode well, IMHO. If she wants you to have a life of your own, what is she telling you?

It would all but put me into a panic.


Honestly.

Tina

I think you are right on this. It's not a good sign.


Oh dear.

I have to say that Suchacutie and Juligirl are the only ones who get it. lol. Let me give you a bit of insight into a GGs mind (if you're interested).

First, please don't make the mistake of taking your wife literally. I know that it's the sensible thing to do, it's what most husbands do, but in a case like this I really don't think your wife wants you to hang out with other women. I think she's just showing some exasperation over the CDing, since as you say, she dresses for comfort more than fashion and she doesn't get why you're so into the "looks" part of being femme.

Second, Saren suggests finding a gf to shop and do things with just as a friend, but Joni T confirmed the sad truth: wives don't understand the concept of their husbands hanging out with other women very well. Even though you see yourself as a girl when dressed, and activities (shopping, lunch, etc) with another girl wouldn't be sexual for you, you wife still sees you as a male and she may well imagine that as a male, you will have male-like attractions to the other women. Also, the other women you befriend might mistake your friendliness as a come-on. They will certainly be open-minded if they enjoy hanging out with a CD, but there is also the risk that they will also see you primarily as a male and they will enjoy the attention, especially if they are single, or in a bad relationship, or just plain lonely and looking for excitement. They might entirely mistake your intentions as to why you want to hang out with them. And wives understand this, because they are GGs too. I was in that situation with my SO a few years ago. My SO sought GG friends to do things with while dressed, and she thought that a GG she had befriended just wanted to be friends. But, I met this GG (she was gorgeous) and I sensed that she definitely was into collecting men, preferably of the exotic kind. There are vibes that GGs can pick up from one another that go way over men's heads sometimes. :p

And last, back to the concept of not understanding why the wives don't wear all the dressy clothes and the makeup: Valerie said that her wife dresses for work or when they go out. This is normal for most women who are past the "mate seeking" stage of their lives. The priority is on life now: work, the kids, household chores, relaxing, etc. But most importantly, it's because the wives know they are feminine or female without the dresses or the makeup. They don't need the stuff as an enhancement like CDs do. Just as CDs have a hard time understanding why their wives aren't into looking like fashion plates, many wives have a hard time understanding why their CD husbands are so much into it. Hence the exasperation. I mean, the wife probably thinks that her CD husband can and should express femininity without so much focus (or obsession for some) on all the clothes, makeup, and jewelry. If that makes sense.

:2c:

Yes it makes sense and it's a very good post.

My wife dresses OK when out shopping or on other errands, but no makeup, fancy hairdo, heels, etc. She is a good looking woman and she knows that I know that. Around the house, whatever is comfortable. If we go somewhere special, she dresses better, wears makeup, etc. Never heels, she has foot problems.

I read the posts sometimes where crossdressers go out for a walk around the block or to the park or mall in their miniskirt and 4" heels. A GG wouldn't likely do that, it would be jeans or shorts and sneakers.

[Kelly DeWinter]

So, my wife isn't into skirts, or dresses, high heels, or lingerie, pantyhose, makeup or anything sexy..

Tonight, I asked her for her opinion on a skirt I put on and she says "Go find a girlfriend". Of course I laughed, but I had to ask.. "what do you mean" and she says "you're a girl... you need other girls as friends.. so you can ask them about this shxx you're always asking me.. I'm not into the fashion and makeup shxx like you are"

So, just to be sure, I said "yeah, and like you wouldn't be bothered by me being with other women" and she said "you're a woman.. why would I be upset about you hanging out with other women" :eek::eek::eek: "I'd be more worried if you were hanging out with men while you were dressed up" :eek::eek::eek:


OK.. so.. how do I find female friends to do girl stuff with?

Lita;

What are we 'chopped liver' ? Post some damn pictures, and ask your questions here so you can keep your marriage togeather. Really girlfriend, I don't know why we put up with you sometimes ? Has that pink lip balm gone to your head ? Ohhh and yes that short skirt you were wearing yesterday ? It's like soooo 80's .

Kelly and 'The Girls'


P.S. Just a little humor

[kimdl93]

Any chance that you could hang with your wife and her friends on occassion?

[Jorja]

Oh dear.

I have to say that Suchacutie and Juligirl are the only ones who get it. lol. Let me give you a bit of insight into a GGs mind (if you're interested).

First, please don't make the mistake of taking your wife literally. I know that it's the sensible thing to do, it's what most husbands do, but in a case like this I really don't think your wife wants you to hang out with other women. I think she's just showing some exasperation over the CDing, since as you say, she dresses for comfort more than fashion and she doesn't get why you're so into the "looks" part of being femme.

Second, Saren suggests finding a gf to shop and do things with just as a friend, but Joni T confirmed the sad truth: wives don't understand the concept of their husbands hanging out with other women very well. Even though you see yourself as a girl when dressed, and activities (shopping, lunch, etc) with another girl wouldn't be sexual for you, you wife still sees you as a male and she may well imagine that as a male, you will have male-like attractions to the other women. Also, the other women you befriend might mistake your friendliness as a come-on. They will certainly be open-minded if they enjoy hanging out with a CD, but there is also the risk that they will also see you primarily as a male and they will enjoy the attention, especially if they are single, or in a bad relationship, or just plain lonely and looking for excitement. They might entirely mistake your intentions as to why you want to hang out with them. And wives understand this, because they are GGs too. I was in that situation with my SO a few years ago. My SO sought GG friends to do things with while dressed, and she thought that a GG she had befriended just wanted to be friends. But, I met this GG (she was gorgeous) and I sensed that she definitely was into collecting men, preferably of the exotic kind. There are vibes that GGs can pick up from one another that go way over men's heads sometimes. :p

And last, back to the concept of not understanding why the wives don't wear all the dressy clothes and the makeup: Valerie said that her wife dresses for work or when they go out. This is normal for most women who are past the "mate seeking" stage of their lives. The priority is on life now: work, the kids, household chores, relaxing, etc. But most importantly, it's because the wives know they are feminine or female without the dresses or the makeup. They don't need the stuff as an enhancement like CDs do. Just as CDs have a hard time understanding why their wives aren't into looking like fashion plates, many wives have a hard time understanding why their CD husbands are so much into it. Hence the exasperation. I mean, the wife probably thinks that her CD husband can and should express femininity without so much focus (or obsession for some) on all the clothes, makeup, and jewelry. If that makes sense.

:2c:

Oh Reine, you party pooper!!! You just had to go and ruin the fantasy with your GG mind and knowledge:D

Thank you Reine for your wonderful insiders view. I think you explained it with complete clarity so anyone could understand. Don't make this mistake LitaKelley or you'll be standing before the judge with your checkbook in hand faster than you can imagine.

[monique01]

Joni, come to Arizona. The gun law now is so good for us citizens that you don't even need a concealed permit to carry concealed!
It is a very gun friendly state. It's like being somewhere that the constitution still is honored.
Monique

[LitaKelley]

...remember you wanted her to wear Real girl clothing right? I never said that



she doesn't get why you're so into the "looks" part of being femme. Actually, she does get it. She sees me dressed every day...



Here's how I see it: the wife tolerates to some extent She more than tolerates it. Things have progressed much further than what it was like awhile back.



Any chance that you could hang with your wife and her friends on occassion? Hell no. I see her every day.. when she goes out with her friends, it's to get AWAY from me, lol



"I'm irritated and so I'll be flippant or sarcastic." .. that's exactly right. Sarcasm and flippant is a big part of her personality.

[Anne Elizabeth]

I have to agree with ReineD and Kathrynmartin. I was going to pop in untill I read their remarks. Remember that your wife loves you and probably deep down having a time dealing with the CD issue. I feel that this remark is her way of dealing with the frustration of the whole situation. Love her back and find a different method of afirmation.

[SamanthaS]

I can see where you are very lucky, and very confused :) Be careful about telling your female co-workers and good luck finding some g-friends, LOL.

[insearchofme]

Maybe she means gurl friends, as in other CDs?

[Roberta Lynn]

.. that's exactly right. Sarcasm and flippant is a big part of her personality.

I wouldn't take her at face value. I see her comments as being Sarcastic, flippant and like others have said she seems irritated.

"Actually, she does get it. She sees me dressed every day... "

Does she see her husband, her 'guy' enough?

[Deborah]

and she said "you're a woman..

Heard that before as well followed by "i'm not a lesbian"

Although when she divorced me she said it had nothing to do with me being a TS/CD i think it had a lot to do with it.

[Dana]

Oh dear.

I have to say that Suchacutie and Juligirl are the only ones who get it. lol. Let me give you a bit of insight into a GGs mind (if you're interested).

First, please don't make the mistake of taking your wife literally. I know that it's the sensible thing to do, it's what most husbands do, but in a case like this I really don't think your wife wants you to hang out with other women. I think she's just showing some exasperation over the CDing, since as you say, she dresses for comfort more than fashion and she doesn't get why you're so into the "looks" part of being femme.

Second, Saren suggests finding a gf to shop and do things with just as a friend, but Joni T confirmed the sad truth: wives don't understand the concept of their husbands hanging out with other women very well. Even though you see yourself as a girl when dressed, and activities (shopping, lunch, etc) with another girl wouldn't be sexual for you, you wife still sees you as a male and she may well imagine that as a male, you will have male-like attractions to the other women. Also, the other women you befriend might mistake your friendliness as a come-on. They will certainly be open-minded if they enjoy hanging out with a CD, but there is also the risk that they will also see you primarily as a male and they will enjoy the attention, especially if they are single, or in a bad relationship, or just plain lonely and looking for excitement. They might entirely mistake your intentions as to why you want to hang out with them. And wives understand this, because they are GGs too. I was in that situation with my SO a few years ago. My SO sought GG friends to do things with while dressed, and she thought that a GG she had befriended just wanted to be friends. But, I met this GG (she was gorgeous) and I sensed that she definitely was into collecting men, preferably of the exotic kind. There are vibes that GGs can pick up from one another that go way over men's heads sometimes. :p

And last, back to the concept of not understanding why the wives don't wear all the dressy clothes and the makeup: Valerie said that her wife dresses for work or when they go out. This is normal for most women who are past the "mate seeking" stage of their lives. The priority is on life now: work, the kids, household chores, relaxing, etc. But most importantly, it's because the wives know they are feminine or female without the dresses or the makeup. They don't need the stuff as an enhancement like CDs do. Just as CDs have a hard time understanding why their wives aren't into looking like fashion plates, many wives have a hard time understanding why their CD husbands are so much into it. Hence the exasperation. I mean, the wife probably thinks that her CD husband can and should express femininity without so much focus (or obsession for some) on all the clothes, makeup, and jewelry. If that makes sense.

:2c:

Thank you for your crystal clear honesty and openess!

[busker]

My father used to tell when I was in for it, that I was "cruisin" for a bruisin", and I got a suspician that that is exactly what your wife is telling you here. This is one time that you should definitely avoid your wife's advice. In fact, you might want to pack away your stuff for a while. It sounds as though she is NOT (Reine really has this pegged, I might add) into your particular quirk and may be building up to a "mental cruelty" case. It seems that you have gone from A to Zed in a very short time and even with an understanding and supportive partner, it's been a pretty fast ride. Take care! Listen for the clues along the way.:2c:

[TxKimberly]

.. that's exactly right. Sarcasm and flippant is a big part of her personality.

Yeah, mine too! lol

[Kiera79]

Sorry I cannot help you with your questio, but I wanted to comment as my wife is similar to yours.

She does not use skirts, she uses very few make up, never knows what is the current fashion trend, I boughted her sexy stuff she never uses and so on.

Isn´t it frustrating?.

Initially, I started to surf female clothing and underware websites to buy stuff for her ... after seeing so much sexy things I started again my crossdressing (first time was when I was 12 years old, and never crossdressed since 14).

Rachel

I too am in the same boat. My SO is a knockout (too me) but still she rarely puts her face on, or wears sexy things.. I too have purchased nice things for her( I wear it more than she does.) i still love her to the fullest.

[LitaKelley]

In fact, you might want to pack away your stuff for a while. It sounds as though she is NOT into your particular quirk...
To define transgender as a "quirk" is negative IMO as you're implicitly stating that it's odd or strange and not normal. This is no "quirk" as you put it, but a part of ME.. My wife and I interact and communicate with each other on a daily basis, and I can tell you that although she's not into makeup or skirts, ... the dressing I can assure you, is not an issue.


It seems that you have gone from A to Zed in a very short time and even with an understanding and supportive partner, it's been a pretty fast ride. . Not fast enough IMO... the sooner I get electrolysis and get on HRT the better, and my wife is fully supportive of this.. even encouraging.

I don't understand "gone from A to Zed in a very short time"... Where can I find the A to Z of transgendered and the timeline for these steps to be taken in moderation? What was A and what is Z... because I don't think I'm anywhere close to Z yet.. still have facial hair.. still don't fill and AA cup with my own flesh.. Z is a long way from here.

[ReineD]

Lita, I'm sorry. I just assumed you were a CD since you posted in this part of the forum. Are you a TS beginning transition? You mentioned hormones. When I posted my response earlier, I took it that your wife was annoyed with some of the aspects of the CDing.

Whatever is happening, I'm sorry if there is any discord between you. How does your wife feel about you taking hormones, and is your marriage OK in all other respects, specifically the physical intimacy? I ask this because you said that your wife can be flippant and sarcastic. This is usually an indication that there is unresolved anger underneath it all, and I wonder if the two of you ever do sit down to get to the bottom of things, namely, her feelings about your transition.

None of what I've posted is intended as criticism of what you choose to do for yourself. I was approaching it from the POV of bridging the gap between husband and wife.

:hugs:

[LitaKelley]

Lita, I'm sorry. I just assumed you were a CD since you posted in this part of the forum.

That's how it all started, yes.. as a crossdresser... but since then I've decided that I want to live full time presenting as female. I am happier this way.


Are you a TS beginning transition? You mentioned hormones. I'm not beginning transition, no.. But I want to.. I'm just waiting til holidays are over then going to a therapist before making any decisions. As for TS.. I did not have any life long gender identification issues.. but of late, I don't like being a guy and I really love being a woman. Only transition I've done is going as close to full time presenting as female as I can get.



When I posted my response earlier, I took it that your wife was annoyed with some of the aspects of the CDing.
You were correct. She does get annoyed.. not because I dress... but because I ask her questions, like on makeup for example and she's not into it and gets annoyed by me asking something she knows little about.. like if it's about foundation, she's annoyed because she's never needed to wear foundation, so don't have the answer for me.


Whatever is happening, I'm sorry if there is any discord between you.
Whatever discord we have from time to time is unrelated to this.. it's other stuff.. like finances, home, etc



How does your wife feel about you taking hormones, and is your marriage OK in all other respects, specifically the physical intimacy? I ask this because you said that your wife can be flippant and sarcastic. This is usually an indication that there is unresolved anger underneath it all, and I wonder if the two of you ever do sit down to get to the bottom of things, namely, her feelings about your transition.

We've discussed alot of things regarding crossdressing, transgender, transition, etc... She supports me and agrees that she's ok with me living full time en femme and we mutually agreed on the various aspects of it.. That she gets her "man" at least once a week and that there'll be nothing sexual while I'm dressed, etc.. neither of us have an interest in anything physical while I am dressed. She's been out with me en femme a few times and isn't uncomfortable with it.. She's even shared this fact about me with several of her friends.. some of whom are very accepting of it, and others which she got upset with for their attitude and she defended me... Her attitude about it, as she told me, is that she don't care what they think. She even posted one of my photos on her facebook, commenting "isn't she gorgeous" and on my own fb where I shared with my friends and family, she's commented on how pretty she thinks I am and that she loves me.

Strangely, we get along MUCH better when I am dressed, because I'm calmer, happier and generally a better person to be around, whereas in drab, I was often tense, moody, wound up, easily aggitated, etc.. .


None of what I've posted is intended as criticism of what you choose to do for yourself. I was approaching it from the POV of bridging the gap between husband and wife.

:hugs: I understood. You make a very insightful and valid point and I appreciate the thought and effort put into your post as it does make one consider all it is you have to say and it is helpful.


OH.. I almost forgot about sarcastic and flippant, lol.... She's ALWAYS like that, lol.. ever since I've known her.. Matter of fact, that's how we met.. We were both taxi drivers.. for competing companies... and she got into an argument with me over a parking spot at the taxi stand.. and WOW.. what a MOUTH on her.. and I thought to my self.. "what a f&@%^ing BITCH".... but she was HOT, lol... we started dating a few days later.. been 13yrs together as of last month.

[ReineD]

She supports me and agrees that she's ok with me living full time en femme and we mutually agreed on the various aspects of it.. That she gets her "man" at least once a week and that there'll be nothing sexual while I'm dressed, etc.. neither of us have an interest in anything physical while I am dressed.

That's great news, but one thing concerns me. If she supports you being a woman, then how can she demand that you be a guy once per week, and always sexually? I just wonder if she does see you fundamentally as the woman you are increasingly feeling that you are.

Also, even though your wife is not into the makeup or fashion for herself, if she does support your wish to transition, wouldn't she understand that you need these props for now (good makeup applications, fashions that enhance your femininity) until your skin and body change through HRT, and she would be understanding of your need to learn these things? One poster suggested earlier that maybe your wife was suggesting you learn how to do this from professionals, such as having a makeover at a MAC counter. This might be a better idea than developing friendships with other GGs who are into makeup. As to the fashion, you could begin to go to one or two clothing stores more often and develop a good customer relationship with an understanding SA, who might have a better fashion sense than you do right now or your wife.

Just a suggestion.

One last thing. It doesn't take all that long to learn what fashions are best for a body type, and how to apply makeup convincingly, once a person sets out to do this. I'm just wondering if you've learned just about all you can about the makeup, but now you want to share your interest with someone who is equally interested (which is more a type of emotional bonding), and your wife is annoyed that the two of you don't share the same interests?

I guess you could compare it to your wife being very much into quilting for example, and frequently wanting to talk about the combinations of fabrics, patterns, threads, and all the new designs she's working on, together with having discovered this new technique, or that new sewing machine, with you having no interest in it at all. If your wife was as much into doing this as you are into being feminine, would you feel as if you were going down different paths if she wanted to spend much of her free time with others who share her hobby, instead of allocating time for her hobby, but also wanting to spend time with you doing things that you both like?

I don't know what the balance is between the two of you, but this is something you might want to think about.

[LitaKelley]

That's great news, but one thing concerns me. If she supports you being a woman, then how can she demand that you be a guy once per week, and always sexually? I just wonder if she does see you fundamentally as the woman you are increasingly feeling that you are.

Not a demand really.. It was mutually agreed upon.. we don't even have sex once a week.... unfortunately.... it's just something we agreed to do.. it used to be twice a week.. we make adjustments accordingly.. been doing things slowly.. before that it was 3x per week.. just making the transition into full time a gradual one... we agreed upon 24/7 after New Years Day.. But the 6days a week en femme I got right now is good..



Also, even though your wife is not into the makeup or fashion for herself, if she does support your wish to transition, wouldn't she understand that you need these props for now (good makeup applications, fashions that enhance your femininity) until your skin and body change through HRT, and she would be understanding of your need to learn these things?
She does understand my need.. she just thinks I should have female friends..




One poster suggested earlier that maybe your wife was suggesting you learn how to do this from professionals, such as having a makeover at a MAC counter. This might be a better idea than developing friendships with other GGs who are into makeup. As to the fashion, you could begin to go to one or two clothing stores more often and develop a good customer relationship with an understanding SA, who might have a better fashion sense than you do right now or your wife. Going to a MAC counter is a good idea, and someday I will do just that.. as for fashion advice, I'm not particularly concerned about it. As for having GG friends, I'd LOVE to go out with other women and do stuff.. There's just stuff I like, or would like to do, that my wife don't like or don't want to do.... so, having GG friends to do stuff with would make me feel better, probably look better too..... I still have my guy friends, but only a few know about me as I am now, and well, they're not gonna go out and get their nails done, or come with me to Victoria's Secret, or hang out with women doing whatever... Naturally they'd do guy stuff, but then I have to be concerned with making them look "gay" if I'm clocked/read :eek: lol Those that don't know are distant, ones I haven't seen in a long time.. My closest and best all know, and they're all ok with it and they're waiting to meet my en femme self.. I haven't been out with them yet en femme.. they only saw pics.




I'm just wondering if you've learned just about all you can about the makeup, but now you want to share your interest with someone who is equally interested (which is more a type of emotional bonding), and your wife is annoyed that the two of you don't share the same interests?
Perhaps you're right..but there's many other things we do share in common.. I just threw the makeup, dresses and skirts thing out there for context on how this topic was brought up, because I asked her something about the skirt I had on and she made the comment... She don't wear skirts, and so.. this skirt I have.. it has a liner, and the liner has a thread attached to it attaching it to the skirt, so I asked her if it was supposed to be like that or if I should cut it, and that's what started it.

[ReineD]

She don't wear skirts, and so.. this skirt I have.. it has a liner, and the liner has a thread attached to it attaching it to the skirt, so I asked her if it was supposed to be like that or if I should cut it, and that's what started it.

Keep the thread on. :) It's there to prevent the liner from twisting around when you sit down.

As to the rest of your post, I'm prepared to eat my words. Your wife is a rare one, but if she's cool with you going out and doing things with other women, then you've got a gem! :) Just be sure to check in with her frequently though, to make sure that she really is supportive of this, and not saying it to mask deeper, more insecure thoughts.

:hugs:

[Leslie Langford]

She does not use skirts, she uses very few make up, never knows what is the current fashion trend, I boughted her sexy stuff she never uses and so on.

Isn't it frustrating?..Rachel

...that youth is wasted on the young, I share your frustration and sometimes think that femininity is wasted on some women who don't seem to fully appreciate their God-given assets :sad:.

[LitaKelley]

Keep the thread on. :) It's there to prevent the liner from twisting around when you sit down.

As to the rest of your post, I'm prepared to eat my words. Your wife is a rare one, but if she's cool with you going out and doing things with other women, then you've got a gem! :) Just be sure to check in with her frequently though, to make sure that she really is supportive of this, and not saying it to mask deeper, more insecure thoughts.

:hugs:

She very well may have deeper, more insecure thoughts and I'm certainly not gonna just jump at anything she says, because I know how sarcastic and flippant she can be sometimes. I also know how jealous and possessive she can be, When I produced music television and video, she was so bothered by my interaction with the host of the show and often accused me of having an affair with her, lol.. but that was when our relationship was still fresh and new and we didn't develop and earn each other's trust.

But all is good.. My best friend's wife would go out with me.... him too, lol...... My wife's best friend thinks CD/TG people are the hottest thing on the planet and she'd love to go out with me, and my wife approves of this.

[JOJO44]

Could it be that the girl freind that she wants you to have is - - - HER?

[Desiree2bababe]

Mine told me just the opposite, even after I suggested we tell her best girlfriend so we could all be "girlfriends". She told me to go get a man because she knew that was what I wanted. So I did.........

[Rachael502]

Why not go to "crossdressers.com"? Oh wait! You're already here, and thus have many girlfriends!!!

[kristinacd55]

I'm inclined to agree with Reine, her advice is 99.99% spot on, but hey if your wife has given you the go ahead.....well then Lita you just go right ahead!! :)

[TiffanyTgirl]

Well, I guess it is better than the I hate what you are doing saga. Good luck in finding a girlfriend.

[Carly D]

I think it is sad that your wife doesn't care to dress up even remotely.. I had a friend on the internet that when I talked to her about my cross dressing found out she hated to wear pantyhose and wore them last in high school.. I wasn't turned off by that, or maybe I was.. Knowing I liked (loved) to wear pantyhose/tights and she couldn't stand them.. Same with heels, while she used her size (she wasn't HUGE, just slightly bigger) she said she rarely wore very high of heels.. I am fairly big, but still wear high heels by preference..

[Sophie86]

Yeah, it's a test. The correct answer is: "I don't want a girl friend. You're my best friend! I just need your advice sometimes. You may not enjoy dressing up as much, but you know a lot more about this stuff than I do." :battingeyelashes:

[JOJO44]

Yeah, it's a test. The correct answer is: "I don't want a girl friend. You're my best friend! I just need your advice sometimes. You may not enjoy dressing up as much, but you know a lot more about this stuff than I do." :battingeyelashes:

Sounds like you got that answer down pat!

[JohnH]

I think it is sad that your wife doesn't care to dress up even remotely.. I had a friend on the internet that when I talked to her about my cross dressing found out she hated to wear pantyhose and wore them last in high school.. I wasn't turned off by that, or maybe I was.. Knowing I liked (loved) to wear pantyhose/tights and she couldn't stand them.. Same with heels, while she used her size (she wasn't HUGE, just slightly bigger) she said she rarely wore very high of heels.. I am fairly big, but still wear high heels by preference..

This seems to be a common theme where the husband/boyfriend is more interested in skirts, dresses, heels, tights, and makeup than the wife/girlfriend. It certainly applies in my case! I have on a sweater dress, pantyhose, and heels, I have food on the table, and am waiting for my wife to come home. She is wearing pants, socks, and flat shoes.

It's a shame that we males have to go outside the very narrow social constraints to wear what we really want to wear!

[Sedona]

Lita, I'm responding to the original post, and have only skimmed the subsequent ones, so apologies in advance if redundant. I'm assuming your wife wants you to have platonic GG friends to talk "shop" with. I'd head straight to the spa. Seriously, you will find an endless supply of girls who want to talk makeup/waxing/laser/hair/facials. . . with you. Spa=girly goldmine Three of my FB friends are spa girls who I prod with all kinds of questions.

[LitaKelley]

Rocky shores ahead I perceive....tread lightly old son....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQs3jZbxFTQ

VERY unlikely.. I couldn't get a divorce even begging for one.

[Nancie64]

One thing I did not read on this thread was anyone reminding us that for others to understand what we are going through or feel like we need to do, we need to share things with them, even are SO. I have only been married for 7 years (2nd time), but when we first tied the knot she did not totally understand. My SO is an attractive woman but somewhat insecure. I finally figured out that by giving her compliments when she deserves them has changed things. We sometimes get wrapped up in our own thing we forget that our partners need to be appreciated too! My 1st marriage of 18 years I failed to do that. My SO tells me that I have nicer legs than she does, (she has bird legs) but since I have found that I can give her other compliments, our relationship clicks along. Don't just give compliments, you have to mean them, treat her like we like to be treated as ladies.

[Victoria P]

I too like others in here had a few past GF's who rarely bothered to dress stylish and make themselves look pretty. So I did for myself lol! Yes the solution IS to go out and meet other gurls and if possible real GG's too,as many I've bumped into seem to like TG/CD types.

Thankfully my current GF is a little sweetheart and is totally accepting of my femme self.We go shopping together,do each other's makeup,etc.I know that is rare,and I'd love to know the % of truly accepting GG's, but thats for another post...
Hugs V

[busker]

To define transgender as a "quirk" is negative IMO as you're implicitly stating that it's odd or strange and not normal. This is no "quirk" as you put it, but a part of ME.. My wife and I interact and communicate with each other on a daily basis, and I can tell you that although she's not into makeup or skirts, ... the dressing I can assure you, is not an issue.

Not fast enough IMO... the sooner I get electrolysis and get on HRT the better, and my wife is fully supportive of this.. even encouraging.

I don't understand "gone from A to Zed in a very short time"... Where can I find the A to Z of transgendered and the timeline for these steps to be taken in moderation? What was A and what is Z... because I don't think I'm anywhere close to Z yet.. still have facial hair.. still don't fill and AA cup with my own flesh.. Z is a long way from here.

I used "quirk" as it might have used by your wife, since at one point according to your threads, she thought you might be gay since you were watching makeup videos by a TS person.
No, I don't consider beign TS strange or not normal --I had no idea we were discussing something TS related, and I was initially under the impresison that you were a CD.
So now if you are talking 24/7, HRT and transitioning, then you ahve come quickly from A to Z since your initial posting in August, 2010 indicated that you were a CD.
[/QUOTE]
Hello from NH

Just wanted to pop in and say hi. I'm new to cross dressing, found your forum and wanted to join as I'll have so many questions, etc.

Seems I progressed from having a panties fetish to becoming a man wearing panties 24/7, which then progressed to becoming a complete cross dresser thanks to my wife's acceptance and encouragement.

I'm a straight married 41yr old father who for some reason likes to dress as a woman, so, here I am to learn about myself and about crossdressing.

I hope to "pass" without any permanent transformation, so have much to learn. [/QUOTE]
I would call 3 1/2 months faster than a speeding bullet when you are talking CD to TS.
If I have misread anything and caused offensed, my apologies. I have added the bold to the above text.

[Charise52]

Lita,

From my own experience, GG's can get really jealous of their parthner's GG friends, no matter how platonic the relationship may be... my last two GG gf's have been very accepting of my crossdressing (we did not break up because we did not get along... we still love each other, and we parted because they wanted to follow different paths, and one wanted to move to California)... I also noticed in the grocery store, that a lot of GG's are into the "Comfort Mode" rather than the "Glamour Mode"... I live in the Northwest, yet a former GG gf who was from Alabama, told me that southern girls always went out dressed up and with full make up on... just my two cents...

Charise

Joni,

I hear what you said about California... my GG gf moved there, and I am sure glad I am still here in Washington State... better to loose a gf than to move to California... although it is a nice place to visit...

Charise

[linda allen]

Lita, all I can say is "you've got it made!" I wish I was in your situation. As far as the "girlfriend" remark, ignore it. Don't ask her about things she doesn't know about. You can ask here. For makeup, there are pros to ask.

I envy you. :battingeyelashes:


Yeah, it's a test. The correct answer is: "I don't want a girl friend. You're my best friend! I just need your advice sometimes. You may not enjoy dressing up as much, but you know a lot more about this stuff than I do." :battingeyelashes:

Good response!

[Andrea's Lynne]

However it works, I wish you both much love and happiness

[kristinacd55]

However it works, I wish you both much love and happiness

Amen!

[LitaKelley]

I used "quirk" as it might have used by your wife, since at one point according to your threads, she thought you might be gay since you were watching makeup videos by a TS person.
No, I don't consider beign TS strange or not normal --I had no idea we were discussing something TS related, and I was initially under the impresison that you were a CD.
So now if you are talking 24/7, HRT and transitioning, then you ahve come quickly from A to Z since your initial posting in August, 2010 indicated that you were a CD.


I would call 3 1/2 months faster than a speeding bullet when you are talking CD to TS.
If I have misread anything and caused offensed, my apologies. I have added the bold to the above text.


Oh, no worries, no offense taken. I misread that "quirk" was attributed to the possibility of my wife's thinking, so, maybe that's correct.

As for TS, I never had any lifelong gender identity issues.. these are all new feelings and thoughts for me within these past couple months and I've come a long way since August, in appearance, attitude, outlook on life, acceptance of MY SELF, acceptance of others, etc and I changed my mind from what I've said back in August.

I took a look at many things in the past that I never really understood or knew the meaning of and arrived at the conclusion that I am HAPPIER as a woman.. I genuinely feel MUCH BETTER and the more days that go by, the more I dislike being male. I'm still on the fence regarding permanent transformation because one, I know I can't financially afford it right now, two, I'm waiting for therapy before making any such decision.. the HARDEST part is SRS.. I'm 100% all for HRT and FFS... but have concerns with SRS and my wife also has concerns with it... BUT, I'd be a happier person with boobs and more feminine appearance while keeping my lower part and can accept the fact that I can not financially afford FFS, hair replacement, etc

Yes.. I am CD... definitely transgendered.... TS.. I don't know.. will wait for therapy.. I just see my self often regretting that I'm not female.. often regretting being male.. definitely love being en femme instead of drab and I've dramatically changed my life to accomodate this into my life and way of living and now go out en femme as often as possible. I dress daily, with the exception of one day per my wife's wishes and there's only a couple errands I do in drab, like taking trash to the dump or anything to do with my landlord or doing children's activities with my child that are out in public with other children present. (parks excluded.. I do that en femme)

Back in August, I thought something was wrong with me, etc.. like many others... since then, I've discovered my self.. alot has changed, much is different.. it's a journey and the road is definitely a long one.. perhaps there's bumps along the way, maybe some wrong turns too... but I'm going.. maybe even might do a U turn or two,, cause this road is definitely not a straight and narrow path with a clear destination ahead


As for the speed of change, I still don't think things are progressing fast enough..

[crossdrezzer1]

Ill be your BFF!!!!!!

[Krystyna_Marie]

How funny, my wife is the same as well. She owns 1 skirt and 3 dressed and never wears them. She hardly ever uses makeup other than for work and If we go out to dinner. Every time we have an argument she has told me to go and get f***** to chill out. I've 8 1/2 years to go with my job and I retire with them and I'm outta here without her. Sorry LitaKelley, I want to find some girls to hang out with too. I too bought many outfits for my wife and they never got worn. I know what that is like Rachel.
Valerie

+1!

[ReineD]

I'm waiting for therapy before making any such decision.. the HARDEST part is SRS.. I'm 100% all for HRT and FFS... but have concerns with SRS and my wife also has concerns with it... BUT, I'd be a happier person with boobs and more feminine appearance while keeping my lower part and can accept the fact that I can not financially afford FFS, hair replacement, etc

Yes.. I am CD... definitely transgendered.... TS.. I don't know.. will wait for therapy..

You may want to do a little research into the effects of hormones on male sexual functionality. If nothing else, it will give you a list of questions to ask your future therapist. The TS section would be a good place to look, and also to ask any questions. HRT does affect more than breast development and skin softness.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?136915-My-Changes-on-HRT-a.k.a.-Where-Have-My-Balls-Gone

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_(male-to-female)

[JennaR]

The bottom line is Reine...is right, agian, GG's know what's best, everyone back to reality,

Party Poopers :o :) :) :)

[Kaz]

You know, a classic CD trait is to want express female images that appeal to males... a lot of us start with stockings and so on... we emphasise what our fantasies are telling us we want. It is then a logical leap to say that we will tend to express those images (call it clothes now) that are less prevalent from our SOs (if we are in a M-F relationship); i.e. we are mirroring what they do not do... Now if you are in the closet this isn't a problem (until you are found out), but if I was a "genetic female" (I wish I could just say girl or woman - so much more natural, but I understand that hese terms offend some GGs), I would be very worried that your choice is not mine... What are you telling me?

"Hey Babe, I always wanted you to wear sheer black nylons and suspenders, they turn me on... you don't, so now I do"... hmmm

And now I am going to become the woman I always wanted?

I really feel for our SOs... they put up with a lot.

[lil red]

First let me say I have read none of the replies so if this has been said I am sorry. 1. Get a GOOD lawyer. 2. File for divorce cus you r gunna get one as soon as you start hanging out with other girls no matter what she says. 3. After the divorce get as many girl friends as you like. Sorry for being so blunt but it is my honest opinion and I do not think sugar coating anything in life is a good idea.

[Fab Karen]

She said you're a woman, and "being with other women" -she gave you the green light for hanging out with other t-girls.

[Kathryn Martin]

You may want to do a little research into the effects of hormones on male sexual functionality. If nothing else, it will give you a list of questions to ask your future therapist. The TS section would be a good place to look, and also to ask any questions. HRT does affect more than breast development and skin softness.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?136915-My-Changes-on-HRT-a.k.a.-Where-Have-My-Balls-Gone

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_(male-to-female (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_%28male-to-female))

I can only second this. Been on hormones for a month, the combination of anti-androgens and estrogen at a very very low "beginners" dose and I have no libido, as in zero, 0 erections, no interest whatsoever. For transsexuals this is a welcome development. It is the first step to transforming the body to a female body. And if you really mean it male equipment and what it does *shrugs* well, yah......... hmmmm... what was that?:doh:

For smooth skin I recommend a strict skin regimen, it does wonders. It seems that the boobs development issue is such a roll of the dice. Genetics, estrogen action, all that and the general consensus is the full development is reached after up to 6-8 years of estrogen treatment. And often in males your age a cup size up from where you started. So gear assisting your boob appearance is likely to be in the mix forever and then the question is if you do it for appearance purposes mostly, maybe really good forms might be the answer.

I hope you find the right balance with your wife, your appearance needs and finally in making the right decision for you.

[LitaKelley]

You may want to do a little research into the effects of hormones on male sexual functionality. If nothing else, it will give you a list of questions to ask your future therapist. The TS section would be a good place to look, and also to ask any questions. HRT does affect more than breast development and skin softness.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?136915-My-Changes-on-HRT-a.k.a.-Where-Have-My-Balls-Gone

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy_(male-to-female)

I'm aware of all that, thank you. Looked into this awhile back.. been researching a whole lot of stuff.. As for losing balls.. I'd love to lose my balls... As for the potential of losing sexual function, I'm willing to take that risk.. I'm actually ok with having no erection, since when en femme I have absolutely no sexual desire whatsoever anyway.. It's mostly my wife and her needs, and well, if I ever did opt for SRS, I'd die a virgin.

[Noemi]

Yes I have been reading this. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT go find a girlfriend(s). This is not what she is saying, seems to me you two are at dangerous place in your relationship. The place in which clear communication is not happening. How are you feeling about your wife, what do you feel right after you have spent time with her, this is what is true.
I am rooting for you, if I had my cheerleader outfit on I would be giving you a shout and a RA RA....

I would even stop dressing for a little while for her, I really would. Get down on your knees and put your head in her lap and hold her tight. She wants your attention, which you most likely have not paid her in quite some time.

[Miss Misery]

Hi Lita,

I thought you mentioned in one of your posts that your wife even suggested hanging out with some of her girlfriends to learn makeup etc. Was that right? That sure seems like a good start.

While not interested in transitioning, much of what you describe fits my situation as well. My wife has never been interested in dressing up, make up etc and doesn't get it why women would "want" to do it. As far as my CDing, she's ok with it but doesn't want to help or be a part - so I'm left trying to sort it out all myself. Books and youtube only take you so far and we're not all blessed with the "eye" that GirlieAmanda has.

Good luck - it seems funny that often this site constantly talks about betrayals of trust (by CDs) and now many here are saying not to trust your SO. The relationship is between you and your wife and you know her best. Use your best judgement and you'll be fine.

[LitaKelley]

She said you're a woman, and "being with other women" -she gave you the green light for hanging out with other t-girls.

No, she meant GG. I've already been hanging out with other CD/TG/TS ever since going to Tri-Ess meetings and Sisters of Manchester get togethers... will be 3mos come next week





I would even stop dressing for a little while for her, I really would. Get down on your knees and put your head in her lap and hold her tight. She wants your attention, which you most likely have not paid her in quite some time.

Sorry, I can't stop... I won't stop.. she does get my attention.. every day.. whether en femme or drab. I realized I had spent the last 41yrs of my life living according to the expectations and sensibilities of others, now it's time for me to live for ME. If she has a problem with it, she can leave.... but I do know she likes me better en femme... I was often quite a jerk before "changing"...

[Hana22]

I could be wrong but I think it's a bad sign that she's saying that. I've had girlfriends (I've never been married which is why I could be wrong) feel threatened before and they've reacted in this way. Might be time to spend some quality time with her if you want to avoid a divorce.

[Noemi]

I can Dig It. I am sorry you are having problems with your SO. Lita, you must go with your feelings and higher thoughts. I want you to blossom into a beautiful flower really I do. Sometimes we work on ourselves and change and others remain the same, and we must move on. From my own experiences, dressing has all but eliminated my depression, no shit. Now that I am accepting who I am, I feel relief and free and alive.