Debb
12-02-2010, 07:54 PM
A new experiment.
I have come to realize, little by little, that I no longer derive as much satisfaction from my crossdressing as I used to.
I think it's mostly due to my dis-satisfaction with ... for lack of a better way to put it, ugliness. I do not make a good-looking woman, not at all, and although it's incredibly shallow, I gotta admit it's bugging me. A lot.
As long as I don't look in a mirror, or take photos of myself, the fantasy is intact; however, when I look in the mirror, I see a guy trying to look like a woman -- not a guy succeeding, however.
So, I've decided to try something slightly different.
I'm still gonna crossdress, and I'm still gonna call it that. The major difference? I've been growing my beard (a goatee, really) back, and I'm gonna leave it. I like how I look better with a goatee, and so does my loving, forgiving wife.
I've faced a primary fact: I am lazy. I hate trying to cover up my beard shadow area. I also don't like wearing a wig, but I've been working on growing my hair out anyway, so that'll stop too.
I'll still wear other makeup, like lipstick and eyeshadow, which I enjoy. I'll just really be a guy in a dress, instead of a guy trying to
look like a girl.
I think that I'll have a better chance at feeling like "myself", too, not so disguised, just dressing up "pretty". Maybe it'll help with my gender dysphoria... we'll see if this works out when I go to my little group's Christmas party, coming up soon.
Practicing tomorrow to see whether it works for me or not, wish me luck!
I have come to realize, little by little, that I no longer derive as much satisfaction from my crossdressing as I used to.
I think it's mostly due to my dis-satisfaction with ... for lack of a better way to put it, ugliness. I do not make a good-looking woman, not at all, and although it's incredibly shallow, I gotta admit it's bugging me. A lot.
As long as I don't look in a mirror, or take photos of myself, the fantasy is intact; however, when I look in the mirror, I see a guy trying to look like a woman -- not a guy succeeding, however.
So, I've decided to try something slightly different.
I'm still gonna crossdress, and I'm still gonna call it that. The major difference? I've been growing my beard (a goatee, really) back, and I'm gonna leave it. I like how I look better with a goatee, and so does my loving, forgiving wife.
I've faced a primary fact: I am lazy. I hate trying to cover up my beard shadow area. I also don't like wearing a wig, but I've been working on growing my hair out anyway, so that'll stop too.
I'll still wear other makeup, like lipstick and eyeshadow, which I enjoy. I'll just really be a guy in a dress, instead of a guy trying to
look like a girl.
I think that I'll have a better chance at feeling like "myself", too, not so disguised, just dressing up "pretty". Maybe it'll help with my gender dysphoria... we'll see if this works out when I go to my little group's Christmas party, coming up soon.
Practicing tomorrow to see whether it works for me or not, wish me luck!