Feel bad after I am done dressing.

[Office Stacy]

I feel bad after I had my fun dressing. When I dress up it usual starts with me wanting to wear some nylons because of a woman I saw. The next step is high heels because nylons don’t feel or look right without a pair of high heels. Then I feel the need to put on a skirt, then an outfit, then a wig and finally make-up. Now that I am fully dressed I want to spend some time as Stacy because I think I look cute and sexy. I want to spend some time outside hearing my heels on the concrete, to feel and hear the nylons and my skirt moving around my legs and feel and see the warm sunshine on my nylon covered legs. I have come to understand that me dressing up is more of sexually thing, because I really like the office look. A lot of the times I get carried away in the moment. I need to learn more self control because afterwards I am not proud or happy with myself. Is there anybody out there that feels the same way?
I have a beautiful wife that works in an a office and from time to time she wears backseam stockings, skirts and high heels and are sex life is great but I think I am real sexually guy. I am trying to kick the Stacy habit because over the past couple years I feel less of a need to dress because I am in a relationship.

[Karren H]

Good luck kicking anything but your heels.... back..... lol Over time the "bad" feeling goes away, especially after you accept that you are who you are and you like what you like. Nothing "wrong" with crossdressing and nothing to be ashamed of.... and it isn't going away.... After you accept that, crossdressing becomes fun... at least it is for me!

[JohnH]

Just roll with the punches. After all a guy wants to go outside the very narrow confines of what a man is expected to wear or how to groom himself. As long as you don't hurt other peoples feelings you aren't doing anything wrong.
I for one am sick and tired of seeing everybody wear pants and it's good to see a little variety. Karren Hutton would second my opinion!

Just make sure that you don't keep your crossdressing activities a secret. Your wife needs to know about your activities. Who knows - the two of you just might want to go out dressed. I keep my dresses, heels, etc. in plain view in the master bedroom closet and I wear feminine clothes around my wife.

[SamanthaS]

You just feel like most of "us" at some point in our crossdressing. I used to have those same feelings. I don't think we choose crossdressing; it chooses us. I think I know how some gay people felt before they came out of the closet. Crossdressing doesn't hurt people like somethings in life; and you could be doing worst things than wearing pantyhose-freak! :) Dressing is a part of you that you have to accept. If I find a cure for dressing I'll let you know. Until then, Hanes are the best pantyhose in the world, and if you have some unworn pairs, send them my way ;)

[Office Stacy]

But that is the thing "I am uncomforted with cross-dressing”. I really don’t want other people seeing me in public, especially children. I haven’t told my wife because I want to kick the habit. But if I can’t kick the habit then I am going to feel bad because I trust and love my wife. Stacy really grew fast after I got out of a six year bad relationship and I was single during this time.


You just feel like most of "us" at some point in our crossdressing. I used to have those same feelings. I don't think we choose crossdressing; it chooses us. I think I know how some gay people felt before they came out of the closet. Crossdressing doesn't hurt people like somethings in life; and you could be doing worst things than wearing pantyhose-freak! :) Dressing is a part of you that you have to accept. If I find a cure for dressing I'll let you know. Until then, Hanes are the best pantyhose in the world, and if you have some unworn pairs, send them my way ;)

I am sorry Samanth but the best nylons in the world are on the "Stockingshq" and "Stocking Girl" web site. I am always on those sites get nylons for my wife and she loves telling people how expensive they are and how I go out of my way to buy them for her.[

[NicoleScott]

Those guilt feelings can be expensive. After a few purges it suddenly hits you "why do I keep throwing this stuff away? It doesn't seem to cure me. Oh well I guess I'm a crossdresser. Might as well accept it. Sure wish I had some of that stuff back." Been there, done that.

[Julogden]

But that is the thing "I am uncomforted with cross-dressing”. I really don’t want other people seeing me in public, especially children. I haven’t told my wife because I want to kick the habit. But if I can’t kick the habit then I am going to feel bad because I trust and love my wife.
Hi Stacy,

Over the years, I've heard a number of CD's say they were going to quit dressing, and not one of them succeeded for very long. I suppose that somewhere, one or two have succeeded in quitting, but I'd be willing to bet that they were not happy about it. The desire will never go away for good, it always comes back, and usually with a vengeance. I'd suggest that you would be wiser to work toward integrating it into your life, you'll be much happier.

Carol

[MsGreen]

When I read your story, it sounds like you are "giving in" to crossdressing when you are telling yourself "just this little bit". Maybe you are feeling bad b/c your breaking a small rule inside yourself. Even if its an arbitrary rule, you've compromised on a decision that you made. Suppose you told yourself that you'll set aside time to dress and to do it fully, enjoying it. I think there would be less guilt involved if you set your boundaries a little wider.

[JohnH]

Office Stacy,

Is it any more wrong for a man to wear a skirt or a dress than for a woman to wear pants? Up to around 1940 women were forbidden from wearing pants even by law. Nowadays a man can wear whatever he wants as long as there is no indecent exposure as far as the law is concerned.

Women are free to wear anything but by some quirk men are quite restricted by social convention.

If somehow you don't believe that clothing and grooming conventions for men are too narrow just look at this website. You will notice that the male-to-female crossdressers section is over 20 times the size of the transmasculine [female to male] section in the number of threads and postings.

As far as children are concerned, at least in my area, very few women wear skirts and dresses unless if it is in a formal setting (e.g., a church service). I am probably the only one in the neighborhood that wears a dress for walks. In fact, I just got back from a walk while I was wearing a long sleeve maxi-dress and carrying a purse. So given that very few women wear skirts and dresses, I don't think you are going to corrupt the children - just think of the bilge on television that really corrupts children.

You really need to accept your crossdressing and tell your wife. This idea of concealing it is wrong.

John

[Amanda22]

I don't think you are going to corrupt the children - just think of the bilge on television that really corrupts children.

You can say that again! We crossdressers are so harmless in public; we just want to go about our business. Being spotted by a child is not going to corrupt them. I get so tired of the notion of "corruption!" They said the same thing about other subsets of society before they were generally accepted by the majority.

[JohnH]

You can say that again! We crossdressers are so harmless in public; we just want to go about our business. Being spotted by a child is not going to corrupt them. I get so tired of the notion of "corruption!" They said the same thing about other subsets of society before they were generally accepted by the majority.

I'm sure people said that children would be corrupted if they saw women wearing pants before 1940. They also said that women who wore pants had mental illness. So it helps to read up on history.

I like to think of myself as a freestyler instead of a crossdresser. I really would like it to become acceptable for men in general to be able to wear skirts, dresses, heels, and makeup as it is for women to wear pants. That is why I have chosen to retain my masculine name to be applied at all times.

John

[Sarah Michelle]

I think you need to think through and separate your issues. Dressing is your pastime. It harms no one. it has nothing to do with (or shouldn't have) your sex life with your wife unless the two of you choose to include it there.
Your guilt is completely societal for believing you have crossed boundaries
As Karren says; accept yourself and enjoy the ride.
You can have twice as much fun as a single gender individual...

[JohnH]

What society dictates does not necessarily make it right.

At one time it was considered immoral for a woman to sing publicly. Yet there was the need for adult altos and sopranos. So there was the ingenious surgical solution to produce the castrati - men who were castrated in childhood to keep their voices high.

More than half of the male population in the world wear skirt like garments. Egyptian, Greek, and Roman men wore skirts, and only the women wore pants. Even to this day there are kilts for the Irish and Scots and fustanellas for Greek men.

There is a difference of opinion - I as a minority on this forum believe that I am a single gender individual.

John

[sissystephanie]

To those who say; "You cannot quit being a crossdresser!", I say HOGWASH!! If you have the desire to stop, you can!! But it does take a lot of desire, and the willpower to fight any temptation! Some years ago, after my late wife and I were married and had children, I did stop CD'ing completely. I had decided that it would be best for the whole family if I stopped. My wife did know about my CD activities, and fully supported me in doing them. After I had stopped for 5 years, she decided that she wanted Stephanie back in our life again. She litterally begged me to start dressing again. I totally loved her, so I did. But I proved to myself, and her, that I could stop. If a family member who is close to me, son or daughter, asks me to stop I will, because I know that I can!

As far as other things are concerned; you are definitely not going to corrupt children by appearing dressed in front of them. And there is cetainly no reason to be ashamed of dressing! Unless of course you make yourself look terrible!! I doubt that happens!! But you do need to tell your wife, if she does not already know. Secrets of that type have no place in a marriage. Open and honest communication is the only way to go!

[JohnH]

[QUOTE=sissystephanie;2339561]To those who say; "You cannot quit being a crossdresser!", I say HOGWASH!! If you have the desire to stop, you can!! But it does take a lot of desire, and the willpower to fight any temptation! /QUOTE]

But why stop unless it becomes an overwhelming obsession?

John

[ClaireT]

Stacy, the first thing to understand is that you're not the first or the last person to feel this way. Many of us have been through this.

I'm sure that most of us go through the stage of revulsion or denial that fosters such guilt, I think that the nature of keeping this part of ourselves clandestine helps to feed this guilt. We're not all the same, but experience says that Stacy's part of you and she won't be going anywhere, she'll agree to periods of exile but she'll nearly always come back. Not all of us are able to incorporate our female side into our day to day lives and relationships so we have to settle for some form of balance. For some this may be the odd day or few hours per month, the lucky ones are able to integrate their female selves with more success. One thing I do know is that this side of us needs a release in some shape or form or else we become pressure cookers waiting to blow off.

You're doing nothing wrong and to the extent that you dress at the moment you're harming and affecting nobody, so there's really no need to feel guilty. Perhaps your feelings are more to do with a mis-attribution of the downer we all feel when we feel the obligation to change back. We're going from a feeling of serenity and comfort from being ourselves to a feeling of tension, obligation to conform and an acknowledgment that we're different. Not wrong, but different. There's nothing wrong with being different, look at the distribution of any attribute in society, weight or height for instance, what's "normal"? Most times you'll come up with the explanation of "normal" equating to being average... do you really want to be average? We're a diverse population and there's plenty of room for Trannies amongst a varied population. In the end, the first person who needs to accept this is you.

I don't want to drown the thread with words, I hope this helps.

Claire

[Alice Torn]

John and Steph, Dittos! Men in Fiji wear skirts to church, too.

[JohnH]

John and Steph, Dittos! Men in Fiji wear skirts to church, too.

Not only that, boys are required to wear skirts to school in Fiji.

John

[jaquie]

You feel bad because your conscience is telling you you are doing something wrong and part of your mind and body are telling you how can something be wrong when it feels so right! It is a totally reasonable way to feel for someone who is human. For you crossdressing is obsessive compulsive ( a free diagnoisis by a dime store psycologist who spent the day with a psychologist{not under treatment}) I know that because I feel the same way. It is totally natural for you not to want a child to see you as you are a sane person who understands the innocence, impressionableness (is that a word), and simpleness of a child. You know what you are doing is wrong but cannot stop it. It is the human condition.
So in answer to your question Yes I feel exactly the same way. There is less guilt when someone else is involved. However there is greater joy for you in life not being alone.
I hope you find peace.
Jaquie

[Aleca]

It's a bad, bad feeling alright when done with dressing. It's not because I give up for the moment looking like a woman but I realize too I am taking a part of myself away from myself. Something for sure to work on.

[Michelle 51]

Not any more for me.Use to especialy when it was sexual but now its more a statement of who i am .

[docrobbysherry]

When you're more interested in sex with Stacy than with your SO, you'll have GOOD REASON to feel guilty! And, THAT could become a big problem for all 3 of u!

I'm also concerned that u seem to have a desire to go out dressed. WHY? Who is it that u want to share Tracy with?

Tracy, the thing u need to know is, your CDing desires r in flux! That means, the best, (or worst), is probably yet to come!

[Tricia Lee]

I've found that separating sexual gratification from crossdressing relieves the guilt. For me it turned out to be really easy to exercise self control in that area. Crossdressing is fun and exciting. It can be arousing if I let it, but I choose not to. Life is easier that way!

[Carly D]

Good luck kicking anything but your heels.... back..... lol Over time the "bad" feeling goes away, especially after you accept that you are who you are and you like what you like. Nothing "wrong" with crossdressing and nothing to be ashamed of.... and it isn't going away.... After you accept that, crossdressing becomes fun... at least it is for me!
Trying to quit because you feel bad isn't going to work.. Some of us are just this way..

[sissystephanie]

[QUOTE=sissystephanie;2339561]To those who say; "You cannot quit being a crossdresser!", I say HOGWASH!! If you have the desire to stop, you can!! But it does take a lot of desire, and the willpower to fight any temptation! /QUOTE]

But why stop unless it becomes an overwhelming obsession?

John

John, that is a very good point, at least for some. I have never let my dressing become an overwhelming obsession, but I know many have done so!


Trying to quit because you feel bad isn't going to work.. Some of us are just this way..

Carly, you are a CD because you want to be! I doubt that anybody held a gun to your head the first time you put on feminine clothing. And I doubt that anybody is still holding a gun to your head every time you do it. Unless you are totally dominated, you alone are in charge of what you wear! This goes for everyone on this forum!

[Christy_M]

I used to feel really guilty when I was done being dressed. I started as soon as I took off the first article of clothing, regardless of what it was. Lately it has shifted from guilt to disappointment and even depression. I can't stand knowing I have to get back into drab and I can't wait until I get get back en femme. I understand the feeling you have but like others have said, as you become more aware of yourself (all parts of yourself), the guilt will go away.

[SallyS]

Guilt was a problem when I was younger but now I just accept it's part of who I am.
I'm not hurting anyone, I'm not some sort of deviant, I'm just a guy who likes to wear a dress every now and then.

That's how I feel about it and I'm sure there are a lot more people out there who SHOULD feel guilty about what they do when they hurt someone. I/we don't intentionally do what we do to cause anyone else a problem, so I LIKE dressing as a women and I hope I'm a nicer person as Sally?

But yes it's easy to feel guilty about being 'different'...but just how many CD'ers does it take for it to become 'normal'?...there must be thousands, if not millions out there....so I think it's a pretty normal thing to do for a lot of people...that's what works for me.

If I was a more convincing CD you'd struggle to keep me indoors:)

[Laura_Stephens]

Been there -- done that. When I was younger, EVERY dressing episode ended with self sex and always ended up feeling guilty/perverted/etc. Took a good long while for the feelings of guilt to subside.

[Marilyn Beck]

I feel bad after I had my fun dressing. ... I need to learn more self control because afterwards I am not proud or happy with myself. Is there anybody out there that feels the same way?

I never feel proud and sometimes I feel unhappy after dressing. Usually, the source of my unhappiness is the realization that my dressing is for self-gratification and I could have (perhaps should have) devoted my dressing time to an activity that directly benefits other people. But this type of regret/guilt is not unique to CDing. I would have similar feelings if, for example, I devoted an excessive amount of time to playing golf at the expense of more productive or compassionate activities. I minimize my negative feelings by (1) rationalizing that I need to take care of my own needs in order to be a better person to others, and (2) limiting my CDing (and golf for that matter) to a level that I feel strikes an appropriate balance between my personal needs and my responsibilities to others. As long as keep my CDing within predefined limits and meet my commitments to others, I generally don't feel bad about it.


When you're more interested in sex with Stacy than with your SO, you'll have GOOD REASON to feel guilty!
I don't agree that being more interested in sexual gratification through CDing than having sex with one's SO is GOOD REASON to feel guilty. While this situation is certainly problematic in a relationship, I don't think having an innate preference for CDing over sex with an SO is cause for guilt per se. I think guilt becomes warranted only when the CDer is not honest about his preference for CDing or chooses to engage in CDing in violation of a prior understanding with the SO.



I like to think of myself as a freestyler instead of a crossdresser. I really would like it to become acceptable for men in general to be able to wear skirts, dresses, heels, and makeup as it is for women to wear pants.
I think of you as a freestyler as well, and more power to you. To me, the essence of crossdressing is to wear clothing that would not be acceptable attire while presenting in the male gender. If wearing skirts, dresses, heels, and makeup were considered "normal" for men, I would not not derive any particular pleasure from wearing them. When I wear those items as a crossdresser, I am essentially declaring that I have abandoned my male persona and want to be perceived as female.

[TracyBoy]

Been there -- done that. When I was younger, EVERY dressing episode ended with self sex and always ended up feeling guilty/perverted/etc. Took a good long while for the feelings of guilt to subside.

Hi Laura. Most of my episodes end up with self sex also. But now I look at it as something to look forward to! If I keep my clothing on afterwards, I really feel satisfied, and I am beginning to accept who I am. I AM a bi-sexual crossdresser- and I like it!

[Charise52]

Interesting question... for myself I have never felt bad after dressing... it always makes me feel good... I always wear women's jeans and tops and sweaters and sandals when I go out... I wear earrings and sometimes my cami is visible in the low cut neckline of my sweater... when i wear a cami top, i do wear a fleece jacket over it so it is less obvious... I dress like this all the time... and it feels good... In the summer I wear women's jean shorts all the time... everywhere... and I turn the cuff up to make them shorter... my last two GG gf's were ok with it... I wear skirts and dresses at home... I feel the best when wearing them... yet I keep that part secret, and only have worn skirts in public when I had a complete makeover... and I keep that secret from my friends and neighbors... I can get away with skirts in public for Halloween parties and the Rocky Horror Show... I do wear a sarong wrap skirt when I go to the beach... and I feel good about all of this... I would love to just wear skirts and dresses everywhere, makeover or not...

[alice clair]

I would say that RAP music is corrupting our children much more than ANY crossdressing event a child might witness. Just my 2cents worth

[jjjjohanne]

I once heard Dr. Phil say to a woman whose husband CDs. He told her that it is statistically VERY unlikely that he will stop. He told her that she basically had to decide whether to accept his dressing or break up. I have found that same truth in my life. I have stopped three significant times. I have purged an unknown number of times. In my 40 years of life, I have stopped a total of 3.5 years. I don't mind some things about my crossdressing, but then I would rather be "normal" and not have these inconvenient, unusual, and sometimes inappropriate cravings. When I have stopped, I found myself being tempted by stuff that other guys struggle with that normally is a non-issue for me. I would rather be tempted by CDing than a large number of other things. Yet, I would rather have no temptations. Stacy, you may have to accept that you are always going to be tempted by this and you will occasionally give in. BUT, you must find a way to drive the bus! You cannot let yourself be tempted to do things that are bad. You must decide what "bad" means. Different people need to draw that line at different places because our weaknesses and our life details are unique.

Now, let's talk straight. If you are struggling with masturbation being associated with your dressing, it is OK say so. I assume that is why you feel so bad afterward. Self gratification seems to make a guy feel guilty and bad afterward (regardless if CDing is involved). However, your body is makes enough stuff to fill up every few days. Just like a woman's period, that stuff kinda has to come out. For me, if the stuff does not come out, my hormones start to increase and I start to be tempted to think and do more sexual things. Typically, wives are not able or maybe are not interested in having coitus every two or three days. A solution is to talk to your wife and let her know you need more releases per month. You can probably convince your wife help you come to completion without her having to have intercourse and without you crossdressing. I predict your wife would rather help you in this intimate part of your life if it will help you be less tempted by things one or both of you don't like.

(I hope this was not too personal.)

[SallyS]

On second thoughts although I don't feel bad about dressing up, sometimes I do feel a bit 'silly'!

I guess it's the idea of this six foot overweight lug teetering on high heels in a short skirt:silly:

OH well its only a bit of fun.

When I'm in the 'zone' and the leg hairs are gone and I get into a size 14 (UK) I don't feel bad or silly...I feel rather great!

Come on what are any of us doing wrong?....nothing, so don't feel bad or guilty about wearing a dress:)

[Office Stacy]

This weekend I wear my heels, stockings and skirt with a guy top all day in the house (no make-up or wig and nobody else around). It felt just as normal has if I was wearing guy clothes but I would get turn on when I saw myself in a mirror (from the waist down) or felt or saw my nylon covered legs. This morning I wanted to wear a skirt, nylon and heels to work. Very strange for me and don’t know what to think.

[carhill2mn]

Sounds quite normal to me!

[Cari]

I used to hear the same voices when I spotted a trigger ; they kinda quiet down after awhile. After dressing for so long its just more a comfortable feeling than a thrilling one.

Personally I have had no luck quitting; but have had some luck controlling the real strong desire brought on by a trigger.

I set aside time dress every month and save tasks to complete while dressed. I may decide to be my own secretary [With the appropriate outfit of course] and answer all the mail or balance the checkbook ect. Too much time on my hands is never good.

I used to feel bad because I wasted so much time on dressing and standing in front of the camera ect. By knowing that I did a few productive things during a dressing session I feel better when its time to get undressed and wash up. [ BTW I was vacuuming in heels today: those 50's women were tougher than they looked]

If I get a real strong trigger due to seeing an outfit it gets relieved a bit if I start the hunt and do some shopping to put the outfit together.

[MsGreen]

This weekend I wear my heels, stockings and skirt with a guy top all day in the house (no make-up or wig and nobody else around). It felt just as normal has if I was wearing guy clothes but I would get turn on when I saw myself in a mirror (from the waist down) or felt or saw my nylon covered legs. This morning I wanted to wear a skirt, nylon and heels to work. Very strange for me and don’t know what to think.

I wish you luck (and conscientiousness) in your journey. If you draw strength from dressing, I hope you turn it to healing and good in every part of your life -- friends, work, self, etc...

[jamey]

Once you've accepted and embraced cross dressing as an important part of who you are, you feel like the world is yours to command.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Well, I agree with Karen Hutton 100% on her reply. The guilt feeling goes away with time.
For me personally and I only speak from my own experience is most of the guilt is derived from "lying" to yourself and then others. For me, I am "the man" the "protector" the "guardian" to protect the family name from any attack. Yet I am the one attacking my position within the family. I am a Man who wears a dress. My guilt has gone. I accept that if anyone threatens my family or me personally, look out I am like a lioness with a mane. My biggest guilt nowdays is if I have not scrubbed my toenails or shaved properly and MOISTURIZED. Take it easy and relax.

[Raindrop]

I am just coming to terms with myself and rarely feel guilty or ashamed anymore, that is why I decided to join.

[k lynn]

Like so many others have said the desire to dress e never goes away you can try to innore it but it has a stong pull takeKarens and all the other girls advise to heart here

[Valerie1973]

I too used to feel bad after dressing. Especially when I was at the kids school and was among the other fathers talking while waiting for the bell. I also used to wish they made a cream or spray to apply to make my hair on my legs and chest grow back over night. These emotions are normal and you just learn not feel guilty anymore. I've learned to accept myself and try not to be so self conscious of how I look in drab or en femme. We all struggle with our own journeys in this crazy world. There was a time when I was a transvestite, then a crossdresser, now it's more for me than just cloths. I do feel in touch with being en femme. I don't have all the answers, so I wont BS you. Its all in how you have self control, don't let it control you.

[Melinda G]

I feel bad after I had my fun dressing. When I dress up it usual starts with me wanting to wear some nylons because of a woman I saw. The next step is high heels because nylons don’t feel or look right without a pair of high heels. Then I feel the need to put on a skirt, then an outfit, then a wig and finally make-up. Now that I am fully dressed I want to spend some time as Stacy because I think I look cute and sexy. I want to spend some time outside hearing my heels on the concrete, to feel and hear the nylons and my skirt moving around my legs and feel and see the warm sunshine on my nylon covered legs. I have come to understand that me dressing up is more of sexually thing, because I really like the office look. A lot of the times I get carried away in the moment. I need to learn more self control because afterwards I am not proud or happy with myself. Is there anybody out there that feels the same way?
This pretty much sums it up for me, along with an occasional spanking. I'm not gay, but I have to say I get more pleasure from dressing, than white bread sex. My wife was boring. If I suggested she dress up now and then, and put on some lingerie she just said, "Why can't we just get in bed and "do it". BORING.
I don't really feel any guilt about my dressing, but I sometimes wonder why I don't get as much pleasure from sex with women, as I do with my dressing.
I can dress any time I want and only have to please me. No pressure. All pleasure.

[Jamiegirl1]

I used to feel really guilty for CDing,especially if I masturbated while dressed.Now I dress for the joy of dressing,I still get a sexual high from dressing but rarely act on it now,but if I do,I try and not feel guilty,just accept who I am and enjoy it.I get more pleasure out of going to a gay bar,and getting hit on by a nice looking guy. (The Stacy habit will never go away)..........

[TracyBoy]

Once you've accepted and embraced cross dressing as an important part of who you are, you feel like the world is yours to command.

Jamey, I couldn't have said it any better! It sure takes a lot of pressure off!

[Melinda G]

Ditto that

[Carly D]

Carly, you are a CD because you want to be! I doubt that anybody held a gun to your head the first time you put on feminine clothing. And I doubt that anybody is still holding a gun to your head every time you do it. Unless you are totally dominated, you alone are in charge of what you wear! This goes for everyone on this forum![/QUOTE]

Nobody is holding a gun to my head.. Are you sure?? Because sometimes it feels like there is a presence there that I can't explain.. Seriously though it seems like I am possessed or something, I was of total free will when dressing the first time and the same every time since then.. There are times when I just can't go without dressing and others, like now, that it isn't that big of a deal.. I come to this forum to enjoy the outings of others now.. Look at the pictures with total aw.. Keep it up everybody.. Cross dressing is good..

[Davina-Alba]

I think you need to think through and separate your issues. Dressing is your pastime. It harms no one. it has nothing to do with (or shouldn't have) your sex life with your wife unless the two of you choose to include it there.
Your guilt is completely societal for believing you have crossed boundaries
As Karren says; accept yourself and enjoy the ride.
You can have twice as much fun as a single gender individual...

Hi, fully agree. Just visited your blog and signed up for emails.

[naye]

When I was younger I used to feel bad after dressing as I girl, but now I am achieving to dont feel bad any more for dressing, but sometimes when I am with my girlfriend (she doesnt knows that I crossdress) and she is looking me as the "man of her life" I really feel bad because I know that behind the door of my bedroom I am just a sissy boy.

[Stephenie S]

Instead of putting all that effort into trying to quit, why don't you put all that effort into trying to accept yourself?

CDing breaks no laws, neither God's nor man's.

S

[Davina-Alba]

For me there are two parts to dressing.

The first is underdressing which I have done continuously for at least 25 years. A few people know about that such as doctors or nurses when I have had to go to hospital. Shop assistants when I have been buying lingerie or being fitted for corsets or skirts, and a few others such as my wife.

Underdressing is, for me, positive and seldom sexual. I feel good about myself when wearing female undies and that transmits to collegues and customers, even though they don't know that is why they like me. The only one who does is my PA who worked it out 15 years ago and who is really supportive.

Full cross dressing is another matter and is totally sexual. That is as true when I am dressing alone as it is when I dress for my wife. I used to feel guilty when I dressed alone, not just about the feelings of pleasure I got from being dressed itself but from the accompanying masterbation that did, and still does, drive the urge.

It took me a while to realise that I was harming no-one and giving myself a lot of pleasure. In fact it was my PA who made me realise this. She knew I was wearing female undies and had even helped me choose items. I had discussed my feelings with her particularly my desire to be able to dress in skirts etc whilst being recognised as a man.

We were working over one weekend to finish a rush job and I turned up fully dressed as a woman. Everything seemed OK and she thought I looked good. I felt a bit horny all morning and when we stopped for lunch I made some excuse to take my skirt and slip off. When she saw my erection poking out of my panties she was a bit annoyed and said I had overstepped the mark. We talked about my feelings being dressed as opposed to being underdressed which helped me. I was still erect when we finished and she gave me a hand job on the understanding it was the first and last. Unfortunately she has stuck to that right up to date.

Anyway, guilt is normal but it will pass. Do what you enjoy so long as you hurt no-one else.

[bridgetta]

t is ridiculous. Its cool. Rebellious and fun. Soceity freakin sucks. Dont let conformity ruin your good time.

[AlannahNorth]

Hello Stacy,

You're getting some good answers. Just be aware of one thing: It's NOT just a habit. It comes from inside and is a part of you. It is one of the things that defines you - like it or not.

This took a long time to get into my head. Finally (and thankfully) it eventually did.

Honesty is the best approach with your SO. Maybe not easy, but best.