From the high, to the low (My mom died)

[matrioshka]

The last 24 hours have sucked pretty hard.

Saturday was pretty good. That morning I went down to Mass to pick up the costume I had made. I had to go for the final fitting and finishing of the hem of the skirt. I spent a couple of hours with the seamstress and had a blast.

That night, I went to Club 313 and hung with the Sisters of Manchester. Again, I had a great time and met some new faces.

I got home around 1 AM, put stuff away, removed makeup, etc. An hour later I got the knock on the door. It was the police. My mom died that night while I was at the club. Shit. She was the happiest she's been in a long time.

So now I'm dealing with all of the stuff concerning the funeral. No one else in the family can or will do it. This sucks.

In the morning, I will get up, call in at work (hoping I don't get the boot for taking too much time off), and start scrounging up enough cash to give her a decent sendoff. She didn't have insurance, and I'm the one who has to make it happen.

Pawn Stars, here I come...

Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but I need to get some of this off my chest.

Thanks for listening,
Kat

[Lucy_Bella]

Sorry for your loss..

[NICOLETV]

sorry about the loss , i know what u r going through ,my girlfriend lost her grandfather yesterday morning also, god bless u and we all are here for u if u need a shoulder to lean on

[zoe m]

I'm sorry to hear that, my condolences...

[Annaliese2010]

The last 24 hours have sucked pretty hard... I got home around 1 AM, put stuff away, removed makeup, etc. An hour later I got the knock on the door. It was the police. My mom died that night while I was at the club. Shit. She was the happiest she's been in a long time.
Please accept my most sincere condolences Kat. I was changed 4ever when my mom died several yrs ago. She was my best friend & the only person I truly loved. You never quite get over it...but do learn to live with it.

[GaleWarning]

The key to dealing successfully with your grief is to ensure that the funeral highlights the joys of her life.
Photographs, favourite music, the things she achieved.
Remember and cherish forever the good times you spent with her. Do not allow any regrets or guilt to get a show in.

My condolences ...
:love:

[Lena Teegal]

oh sweetie I'm so sorry. We're here for you.

[Rianna Humble]

Kat, I'm sorry for your news - especially receiving it in that way. It is hard to lose your mum, and even harder when you have to cope with all the arrangements. It will take time for you to grieve, but when you do, please don't feel ashamed of your emotions - they are a natural coping mechanism.

Please don't feel sorry for posting this here, it is a support forum and there are many of us who are rooting for you at this moment.

[Lorileah]

you have my thoughts and sympathies. Sorry about your loss

[Raychel]

I am sorry for you loss.
My mother was my best friend it was a very sad day when she passed.

[Joanne f]

Sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are with you at this sad time .

[Persephone]

One more whose thoughts are with you.

Hugs,
Persephone

[Angiemead12]

sorry for your loss too.

[Diane Smith]

My deepest sympathies.

My mom died, with only a day or so advance warning that anything was wrong, just over five years ago. She had been, in many ways, my most consistent supporter and strongest influence. My life changed profoundly after that -- but it did not end, and I have accomplished much that is good since then.

Celebrate the years you had together and make the funeral an opportunity for all the visitors to honor her life and feel good about knowing her.

We're thinking about you.

- Diane

[Loveday]

Matrioshka, you have my deepest sympathy at this very sad time. I lost my father very suddenly and unexpectedly a little over a year ago. Hang in there, it is going to be rough for a while. Just do the best you can.

[lorisdream]

My mom's passing is also very fresh as she passed just 2 months ago on Oct 10th. Just a phone call from my dad, trip to the hospital and an hour later the doctor told us she was gone. I think I'm still in that foggy area where we just go through the motions. I also had to make plans and pick the funeral home etc. That's the way she would of wanted it I think. SO sorry for your loss and I do feel your pain and emptiness. They tell me it gets better.

[Tahiri]

So sorry for your loss.

[erickka]

My condolences to you, hun. I've been in your shoes many times in the last decade.Hope all turns out well.

[Shelly Preston]

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother


May she rest in peace :hugs:

[Jay Cee]

My condolences, Kat. :hugs:

[matrioshka]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply.

God, this hurts.

Kat

[Charlena]

Love and good thoughts to you my friend. Strength to you in this difficult time. Charlena

[7sisters]

Praying for your mothers soul. Praying so you find the strength to go through this.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply.

God, this hurts.

Kat

Yes it does. But I will be thinking of you today.

Veronica.

[Rianna Humble]

God, this hurts.

Yes it does, but over time the hurt takes on a different feel and you learn to live with it. My mum only died 14 years, 10 months and 1 week ago and I still sometmes cry, but at least I have memories of the good times to help me get through. Please do not forget that your memories of the good times with your mum will keep her alive in your heart for the rest of your life.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm sorry for your loss! And I don't mean to trivialize what you're going thru, Matrioshka. I KNOW it must be very difficult to do everything u must do feeling the way u do, all by yourself! THAT must be the WORST PART!

However, it sounds like your mother passed quickly and painlessly! With little suffering or anguish! There's much to be said about going that way. Especially after watching my 97 y/o mother deteriate slowly but surely over the last number of years. She's been in and out of the hospital and back and forth to doctors COUNTLESS times. She requires 24 hour care and can't even go to the bathroom by herself anymore. Altho she's still with us, the mother I've known my entire life, and the grandmother my daughter's knew, has been gone for quite some time!

[Nicole Erin]

I have yet to lose a parent, it is something in life I dread to find out what it is going to be like. I mean they are the women who knows and loves us since the day the doctor cut the cord.
I know when her mom died, she wasn't real emotional but even to this day she says of it - "It just doesn't seem real, I guess I just can't accept it."
I hope you are able to pull thru things. I wish I had some kind of advice or something, but I have been lucky enough so far to not have been thru this.
I do sincerely feel bad for you.

[Loni]

i feel your pain as my mom is all i have left of my family (at one time it was huge). sad one day not too far off i will be doing just as you must today.
keep hart you will get better as time goes by, she is in a better place keeping a ever lasting eye on her loving children, striving to keep and protect you.

loni

.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Please accept my most sincere condolences Kat. I was changed 4ever when my mom died several yrs ago. She was my best friend & the only person I truly loved. You never quite get over it...but do learn to live with it.

I could not have said it any better.

I feel your pain, this Thanksgiving Day marked the 5th yr since my Beloved Mother's passing, and my situation was such that i wasn't there, which was a blessing i suppose.
But life does go on. Do your best and take pride in it.

My prayers and thoughts at your loss,
Cassie

[SherriePall]

My deepest condolences on your mother's passing. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

[TxKimberly]

Kat,

I'm so sorry for you and your family. I know that I can't think of anything I've ever been through that hurt as bad as the day my mother died. Obviously Mothers have a profoundly special place in our lives, hearts, and souls.

Like others have said, I found that it helps to stay focused on the good and fun times that you remember with her.

I don't know if it applies in your case or not, but I know that in my mothers case, she was in poor health for quite a while before she went, and so in some ways it was a relief to know that she was no longer in pain and no longer struggling. At least in my mothers case, it was clear that while it was still painful, death isn't always a terrible thing.

My very best to you and a huge hug! :hugs:

[Dana]

Daddy was dying!

He knew it and I knew it!

Two years out he was all over me! Getting me prepared for Life without him!

He told me ~ "Once your parents are gone? Your pretty much on your own!"

My condolences for your lost!

[t-girlxsophie]

Am so sorry for your loss,My Wife and my thoughts are with you at this sad time

Hugs,Sophie

[carhill2mn]

I am sorry tho hear about your loss. I hope that things will work out OK for you as you deal with this.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Oh god, it is something I am not mentally prepared for at present. My prayers are for you and your family. Reality sucks mega hard at times.

[jasmine57]

My condolences on your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

[Jorja]

My condolences on your loss.

[Annaliese2010]

I could not have said it any better.

I feel your pain, this Thanksgiving Day marked the 5th yr since my Beloved Mother's passing, and my situation was such that i wasn't there, which was a blessing i suppose.
But life does go on. Do your best and take pride in it.

My prayers and thoughts at your loss,
Cassie:'( Thank you MsMjSerene and I'm sorry for your loss too. Oh Kat...I know your world must be so topsy turvy right now...just know you will eventually be able to deal with it all. 'Tis the nature of this mortal life we didn't ask to enter in. Yet here we are. And all we have is each other to hug and hold; the stronger one at the moment wetted by your pain, as your tears rain… Not in vain but as a tribute to all the good she did, as all mothers do; their appointed station in life so full of self sacrifice. Unsung hero’s, one & all. More than any other it is our mother who is the deserved recipient of our grief by their leaving. And the calamity of heart felt, a testament to their motherly Love - a free flowing current, a river unending river. For such is the nature of selfless Love. It is timeless. Absolute. Outside the boundaries of this mortal plane, this drama of suffering we slave. Does Real Love ever end? I think NOT! The logic then?

That her current continues unabated, uncorrupt, untouched. Though death be crude and abrupt is it not…a simple curtain? No more no less? Thus to separate here from there; room from room; this land and that. To block the view and much as smoke and mirrors to an earthly magician act, allows the mystery to ensue of the greater game we play for that which we know not why nor whereof; but by so much a greater sleight of hand by so much greater a magician we thus must. And by that which is our own; real and true the strength within, we persevere! Such a Love as only a mom can dispense never ends; is never defeated by death; and even now flows freely to you: flesh of her flesh, blood of her blood; beloved being, you; continuing.

The torch now passed…you courageously live on. Through this desert, dance. And herein can one find reassurance; a foothold; a reprieve from the storm surrounding; the calm in the eye of the maelstrom. The way out of hell is not to oppose it, not to run nor deny it. The way out of hell is through its very center. Embrace your pain. Cry cry cry until you’re all cried out. Cry some more, scream and shout, than find the doorway out. And with a softer redder warmer heart, wounded yet strengthened more than before, I hope you find health & true happiness. Something all moms want for their...kids ;)

[MJ]

Sorry for your loss sis :hugs:

[giuseppina]

Hello matrioshka

Sorry to hear of your mother's passing. :brokenheart: May she rest in peace.

Life will be difficult for a while for you, but it gets easier as time passes and you go through the stages of grief.

I still miss my father 17 years after he passed with no advance warning whatsoever. It's very hard on those left behind, but the suffering is minimal for the person who dies.

Take it easy on your self. There will be triggers that set you off: holidays, her birthday, wedding anniversary, etc. Things will seem like a roller coaster for a while.

[LitaKelley]

My deepest sympathies Kat. I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

[JustineFallow]

My condolences; may your grieving be short.

[IamSara]

I am sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.

[matrioshka]

Again, thank you all. I'm at a loss for words.

I spent today tracking down my neer do well brother. He had to sign off on some stuff. He never wanted anything do do with her when she was alive, but now that she's dead, he gets a say. It went well, considering.

I'm doing alright now, but once this is over, I'll crash, I know it.

Kat

[Debb]

My condolences, my own mom died just a bit over four months ago.

You are in my thouhts.

[Victoria StJohn]

Kat, so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you in these difficult days. It will take time, but you will recover, especially with the help of all your friends here.