confused and need advice

[MsJenna]

Hi all,

First, let me say if this has been covered elsewhere, I am sorry for bringing it up again and point me in the right direction. :)

I have only been dressing for a short time and only rarely get to do so. But I had been enjoying it immensely. Then I met a girl (GG) that I really liked. Almost overnight, I quit dressing up and really lost the desire to do so. Now I wasn't seeing her very often, just talking or texting quite a bit. She decided to cool things down and within a week or two, I was back to dressing. Was it just infatuation clouding my mind to everything else? Anyone experience similar things? Please let me know.

Thanks,

Jenna

[Raindrop]

Yeah I've been through a similar situation although at the time I thought I was just dressing because of a lack of a woman in my life; I know different now.

[noeleena]

Hi..

One of the details of being occupied in as much as you most likely putting all you energy in to some thing else . so yes your mind was on that .
Now that youv returned to earth . its back to some what normal life . just you leave things in the back ground for how ever long . not some thing to get over worred about.

...noeleena...

[Elle1946]

I think that you came out of the PINK FOG and went into CLOUD NINE for a while. Having had similar experences, I would say it was just infatuation. But, what the heck, they both feel GOOD!!

[Joanne f]

This sort of thing happens a lot , you meet someone and the dressing gets put on hold while your mind is occupied with other things, sometimes this can only last a short while but other times it can even last for years.

[Karren H]

Yep. That's the standard MO... Next girlfriend pick someone that wears the same size clothes... That way you have more in common! Lol.

[JulieC]

Jenna,

Yes, this is quite common. It doesn't mean you're "cured" of crossdressing, and don't make the mistake of thinking "If I just find the right woman, I won't ever want to crossdress again".

[J-Chattanooga]

Sounds like me too! When I met my wife was the biggest time in which I thought I wouldn't want to dress anymore. Other things that are either life changing, or even just out of the ordinary decrease my desire to dress. Sometimes it lasts for days, sometimes for months, although I think over time this happens less as you accept yourself and it just becomes a natural part of who you are.

J

[NicoleScott]

There is a danger here. Many of us who fell into a serious relationship thought our crossdressing was cured, when it was only being distracted. When we think our attraction to another person is a substitute for crossdressing, we don't tell her that we crossdress (or used to crossdress), thinking it was all in the past, but things will be different now. It just doesn't work that way.

[meri]

Here's an idea -- assume for a moment we are "spirits in bodies", kinda like Avatar. Our bodies are our avatars and are either gender male or gender female. Our spirit is either all of the above or none of the above depending on how you look at it. To "visit" Earth, you require an avatar, take your pick, either male or female.

Now, if you chose one, say male, you might be longing for the missing feminine in your life. If you chose your avatar as female, then you might be missing the masculine in your life.

Genetic women often swing back and forth between a masculine and feminine expression, sometimes in a single day (plaid shirt, jeans in the morning, sexy dress in the evening).

Men are largely locked into a masculine expression and discouraged from expressing anything reminiscent of the feminine.

Is it possible that the attraction between a man and a woman is an attempt by both parties to restore the "missing" portion of their gender?

Clearly men dressing up in woman's clothing qualifies as an attempt to restore/regain some of the missing femininity in their lives. Is it also possible, however, that "attraction to women" also fills the same need?

Perhaps that is why when we meet a new gal, our dressing goes "on hold", our need for the feminine is being satisfied and we have no immediate need to seek for it in dressing. However, after time, we realize that "she" really doesn't satisfy the desire to restore the missing feminine expression in our lives and the dressing continues.

I know this is off the wall, but these thoughts have been rolling around in my head for a while.... Comments are welcome....

[makin' it real]

Meri, thank you. As I read your comments I felt myself breathe a sigh of relief as I settled into my center again. I appreciate the deep acceptance of self reflected in your words. The patterns of thought you describe match some of my experiences in relationship. Thank you, and blessings to you.

[kimdl93]

ok, honeslty, there is a sexual element to cross dressing. As a young person, if you have a regular girlfriend, the urge, may not be as compelling. That's normal...other things take precedent. However, the desire to dress usually transcends sexual desire and that may be why most of us find ourselves more compelled to dress at 40 than at 20!

[eluuzion]

hiya Jenna,

I think posing a hypothetical situation might be the best approach here...

Let’s imagine that you are in your closet as you are most days.

But this day while you are rummaging around in your stash of clothes, you discover a purple handheld PDA with a button on the front. Each time you push the button, it spits out a coupon that can be redeemed for one free pair of pantyhose at any store. Obviously, life is good in the weeks that follow.:battingeyelashes:

Several weeks later, you are in the closet as usual, sorting the good pairs of pantyhose from the ones with runs in them. You grab the pile of “old” pantyhose and start to stuff them in your secret hiding place to discard later… and you discover another PDA. This one is pink and also has a button on the front. Each time you press it, it spits out a coupon that can be redeemed for two pairs of pantyhose and a set of acrylic nails.
Obviously, common sense would assume you would abandon use of the purple PDA in favor of the Pink PDA.:daydreaming:

Now, a few weeks later you are back in the closet as usual, and press the button on the Pink PDA, because you are out of pantyhose. But the PDA spits out a receipt that says: “Access denied…You do not have permission to access this program”. :sad:

What do you do? Decide to quit crossdressing? I doubt it. A more likely scenario is that you might dig out that abandoned purple PDA and start pressing the button, right?

Well, I think my point here is obvious…

If you ever have a choice between a Purple or a Pink PDA, always pick the pink one. :D

:hugs:

[Zoie]

IDK maybe just be honest with her upfront I understand that by doing so it might drive her away but it can come up years into the relationship (as in my case) and then it causes issues later on.

[MsJenna]

Thanks to all that replied. You have given me a lot to think about. And I can totally understand your thought process, Raindrop. I have wondered if I started dressing because of a lack of female company, but I believe it is much more than that.

[Marylou]

Hi Jenna will from my exprence I have ben a CD for a long time sence I was little I find the deriser comes and goes but is always their just wateing to come out and it will it woun't take much to trigger it

Marylou

[Marylou]

Hi Jenna will from my experience I have been a CD for a long time scene I was little I find the deriser comes and goes but is always their just whating to come out and it will it won't take much to trigger it

Marylou