Just a small update (my way of a journal)

[Zoie]

Well first off let me start by saying I have taken leaps and bounds in the last 2 weeks which has left me feeling good and bad at the same time. I posted corispondence from me to my wife and her to me. It all started with her finding my stuff that was hidden. She had not seen anything in the last few years so I guess I was better before at hiding it. I have always hated hiding anything from her (for the record). So with an arguement and hurt feelings and her taking off for a few hours that night we then started to comunicate via email. After posting in a long thread she was searching for help and found my posts.

Word to the wise on anyone that ever thinks they cant be found via GOOGLE or in a search you can (which of course I knew but didnt think that would happen). Its best to be honest up front with your partner and this way there are no hidden secrets and mixed feelings later in life. I appologized after and I still do to my wife and to anyone that read it and was upset.

Ok so now the present day update. We have agreed to keep certain things and she said she would try on the other things later and if she doesnt thats ok we can always talk and comunicate and try to reach a compromise we both agree on but in the end I have to give some too I can't just want want want... she is trying to deal with it and agreed on some items and well thats a step towards a better marriage imo!

I think in life we forget what means the most to us at times our family, our children and friends when we focus on bills, money issues and day to day life stress. We should all take time to just breathe and watch a sunset or the leaves fall. I too let stress take over my life and it causes health issues and makes one angry or upset this then effects ones marriage because you can change the mood of your partner to yours very quickly and well that sucks. I know I love my wife I know I love my children and I also know I am who I am and even if I want to change it takes small steps and somethings (like my CD issue) is deeply rooted i've tried so hard to kill it and it comes back like a virus. So instead of giving into it or making myself go crazy by denying it I will try to grab the leash and walk it taking control of it.

So today I threw out the items she doesn't like the skirt, wig, shoes, bra etc.. We agreed that I would keep the underwear, stockings, socks and I can use clear nail polish etc.

I am on my way to pick her up we are then going to go get a pedicure together (her idea).

Ill post more later off to pick up my baby!

[sandra-leigh]

I'd say bra was one of the hardest for my wife to adjust to. Something like a wig was... just sort of a disguise, I guess, something to laugh about... but bra, especially worn "during the day" rather than on all-dressed-up outings, seems to be particularly unsettling in the image of whether you are "a man" or not. A skirt is "just clothes", a bra is a deep symbol of identity.

[Christy_M]

Congratulations on getting to some mutual point of consideration with your wife. It seems painful having to throw the stuff away but I have purged so many times in the past, I may be overly sensitive to it. At least you have some comprimises that you can try on for a while and work on the communication from there.

[BRANDYJ]

Zoie, Having read your wife's posts and really feeling for her, I am really pleased to read this heart felt post. You and your wife love each other: no doubt about that. You are both on the right track. I'm glad you both are here sharing your story. Not only to help yourselves, but it will help many others that are struggling with similar issues. I'm proud to know you and your wife and wish you both much love and happiness.

[Zoie]

First off thank you to everyone that replied and has followed any of our threads if anything can help anyone in the future then that is kudos on top of helping our own problems. I want to thank you all for the support and the advice I know there is someone here that can relate to issues that are current to other members it’s nice to have someone hold your hand and say it will be ok.. just pick yourself up and carry on.

Well tonight we went together to get a pedicure it was a nice experience yet funny because my wife is very ticklish on her feet and it was funny to watch as they scrubbed lol. Her toes are very pretty and sexy now.. (not that they weren't before but it’s nice to see some color) and as usual I enjoyed mine. I do feel for them because normally men’s feet are nasty I take extra care of mine almost too much so mine are never bad with nails and not rough and gross. I ended mine with a clear coat and wife got a red.. :)

[charlytuna]

just happy that you are working things out. I have very understanding wife and I never had to hide anything from her. She supportive but she still struggle with understanding all of my wants of crossdressing she still thinks that I want to be with men and not her.