How Much Control????

[deebra]

Should your wife or SO have the right to tell you, you can't wear feminine underwear and undetectible feminine outerwear? If the answer is yes and she just happens to be young, sexy and pretty would it not be fair for you to tell her (if you so choose) to stop wearing her string bikinnis, thongs and low cut push up bras and start wearing granny panties and full coverage cotton bras? Anyone on the planet think she would accept this? So once again I ask, how much control over your personal choice in clothing should she have if none of it is obvious to the public?

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Deebra,
You may not like or agree with my answer, but everything between a husband and a wife is negotiable, or compromise. I love my SO and if she does not like some tings I wear or things I do, I will not wear them or do things that displeases her. After all, I have her full support, understanding and respect. So why would I make an issue out of what to her might be a thing she just can't stand or does not like. My respect and love of her comes before my desire to wear anything. My commitment to her gives her that right. But understand, I agreed to be submissive to her and only her. I wold not have it any other way. So my opinion is slanted toward giving in to things to make her happy and not worry about little things that might make me happy. And no, I would never tell her what to wear. You say if she is young, sexy and pretty an if I chose to tell her to wear granny panties and cotton bras that I should have that equal right? Not a chance in hell would I ask her to wear things that neither her or I would want her to wear. DUH! Your example is flawed since your wife might be asking you to not wear things that she hates, dislikes, or otherwise turns her off to you. You need to respect that and keep her happy. But your example is asking her to wear things that would turn you off. So it's not the same thing at all.

Maybe I wold not call it a "right" to tell you what to wear and not wear, but I'd respect it to make her happy. She accepts you as a CD ( I assume) She understands and has not asked you to stop dressing all together. So she is giving you more then most wives give to so many others that wish they had a wife that knew and understood. So be fair and compromise and dress to her comfort level and be glad she at least accepts you dressing.:2c:

[Karren H]

Wives have the right to tell you what to wear.. What to do and what to think. Since you don't seem to already know this I assume you didn't read the fine print on the marriage license??

[Danni Bear]

Wives have the right to tell you what to wear.. What to do and what to think. Since you don't seem to already know this I assume you didn't read the fine print on the marriage license??

Fine print HELL

Had it printed

BIG BOLD AND UNDERLINED



Danni

[Davina-Alba]

Wives have the right to tell you what to wear.. What to do and what to think. Since you don't seem to already know this I assume you didn't read the fine print on the marriage license??

Right on!

[linnea]

Although I agree with BrandyJ that everything is [potentially] negotiable, my wife and I don't necessarily negotiate everything. Not everything needs a negotiation. I don't like Brussel sprouts; my wife does. I like beets; she doesn't. Should we negotiate this and compromise: I'll eat Brussel sprouts if she'll eat beets. I don't think so. Whether she eats beets or not has no effect on me; whether I eat Brussel sprouts or not has no effect on her. I don't negotiate with her about a lot of things, and she doesn't get involved in negotiations with me on a lot of things (maybe coming to those terms is, itself, the result of subtle negotiations). I don't really think so. When it comes to underwear, we don't negotiate. There's no need to. At least for us, there's no need to.

[Maria in heels]

Unfortunately, someone already pointed out that you didn't read the fine print in your marriage license....of course she has control over us, can tell us what to wear and not to wear, and if she is being understanding about your dressing, then you must respect her wishes. It is a totally different thing about having her wear "granny" panties...

On a lighter note : this is what I say to married couples...I tell the husband to "look down" of course he doesn't want to, but I tell him again to look at his shoes, then I tell him just to nod his head....yesss that's it now you are getting the idea ! The wife just looks at me and a big grin shows up on her face, and then the husband just starts laughing...we all did read the fine print, we just forget what it said ...

[sissystephanie]

This whole thread tells why you tell your SO that you are a CD at the very beginning of your relationship. If she agrees with you being a CD, then you have a relationship which may develop into a marriage. If she does not agree, then it is time for you to move on in your life. Because you will never have a happy marriage that lasts.

I told my late wife when I proposed to her! She accepted me "as is," and we enjoyed almost 50 years of happiness together until cancer took her. She did Stephanie's makeup and fixed my wig so that I was "passable!" In a real marriage there is NO domination by either party!!

[SweetPea_GG]

On a lighter note : this is what I say to married couples...I tell the husband to "look down" of course he doesn't want to, but I tell him again to look at his shoes, then I tell him just to nod his head....yesss that's it now you are getting the idea ! The wife just looks at me and a big grin shows up on her face, and then the husband just starts laughing...we all did read the fine print, we just forget what it said ...

LOVE it Maria :D :heehee:

[t-girlxsophie]

as i have said here many times my wife knew I dressed from the start,but that doesnt give me a green light to do just whatever I please without regard to her feelings.We are in a partnership and I have the best life with her,Sophie flourishes in it,I would never risk what I have with my beautiful wife for the world,besides selfishness aint a good trait to have in a marriage or relationship Imo

:hugs:Sophie

[sandra-leigh]

It didn't work for me when I asked my wife to stop wearing granny-pants and full-coverage cotton bras, and to start wearing thongs and string bikinis and push-up bras. :D

Sorry, what was the question again?

[SweetPea_GG]

as i have said here many times my wife knew I dressed from the start,but that doesnt give me a green light to do just whatever I please without regard to her feelings.We are in a partnership and I have the best life with her,Sophie flourishes in it,I would never risk what I have with my beautiful wife for the world,besides selfishness aint a good trait to have in a marriage or relationship Imo

:hugs:Sophie

Love your outlook on it :) your wife is very lucky!

[Aimee20]

I don't really agree with most hardfast do's and don'ts in a relationship. There are the major things like be faithful, never raise your hand to your partner and always tell the truth. Some of us were accepting enough of ourselves to come out to our partners early on or even before our relationships and therefore have a bit more "freedom" in dressing as it has been an understanding since the beginning. Now those that either began dressing later in lfe or did not fully disclose their dressing need to play more of the comprise path. About the best way to go about it is a good bottle of red wine and really discuss boundaries that both of you can agree upon.

Do not let the small things go unresolved as these types of situations are what result in the knockdown dragout fights where you say things you will regret.

[shakshi]

wow i like that i hope i could get as lovely wife as u got........................

[Leslie Langford]

Wives have the right to tell you what to wear.. What to do and what to think. Since you don't seem to already know this I assume you didn't read the fine print on the marriage license??

...in your response, Karren, especially since you seem to follow your own drummer when it comes to your crossdressing despite the fact that your wife isn't crazy about it, based on what you have posted in the past.

I've wrestled with this same dilemma myself over the years, and yeah - while many espouse the "if momma ain't happy, NOBODY's happy" truism as the key to a happy marriage, to me that also symbolizes the p%ssy-whipped male mate who is not averse to doing a little grovelling and @ss-kissing just to maintain domestic harmony and get laid regularly. It also points to a skewed dynamic in the relationship between the two partners, and is more indicative of a controlling relationship than one based on equality and the mutual respect between equals. Intellectually, I cannot wrap my mind around that type of mentality which seems to exclude the concept of cutting the other partner some slack.

That said, I admit that I am one of those crossdressers who didn't tell my wife of 35+ years that I liked to wear women' clothing before we got married. That was because like so many of us here from that generation, I didn't really understand my own inner feelings in that regard, didn't know too much about the subject itself as there was so little information available about it at the time, thought that I was the only person in the world who had these crazy urges, and besides, was convinced that getting married and having a regular sex life would "cure" me (NOT!). So yes, from that standpoint, I placed some of the burden of my crossdressing squarely on her unsuspecting shoulders as well once the truth came out, and that has always made me feel very guilty.

But guilt can only go so far, and the way I see it, that doesn't give my wife the right to use my crossdressing as weapon against me either in other aspects of our marriage just to keep me in line according to her wishes.

My response to this stand-off has been to default to the "don't ask, don't tell" approach, where I have gone out of my way to keep my crossdressing out of sight and out of mind as far as she is concerned in deference to her discomfort with this part of me, and I never made any attempt to bring it into the bedroom.

On the other hand, for some time now, I have given myself "permission" to pursue my crossdressing activities on my own time and without any guilt attached, and that now includes going out in public en femme from time to time even though my wife disapproves of this as well. Then again, since she is not with me on those occasions and since I am discrete enough that the chances of me being "outed" when doing so are essentially "0", I think that I am doing my part to uphold the "don't ask, don't tell" bargain there as well, and that she therefore has no right to try to control that aspect of my crossdressing either.

Call me selfish, but I see my need to express my gender identity as being so fundamental to who I am - while at the same time fearing for my long-term mental health if forced to suppress it artificially - that it would be a totally unreasonable expectation on her part for me to do so and would probably damage our marriage beyond repair. I guess it comes down to the old adage that your right to swing your arm ends where my nose begins.

I would never presume to tell my wife what to wear, how long to grow her hair or what hairstyle to adopt or what color to dye it etc., so by the same token, I reserve for myself the right to shave my legs or body hair, grow out my nails, "under-dress" on occasion, or engage in other such harmless yet "unmanly" behaviors even when in drab because it makes me feel so at peace with myself.

Sure, it's been a bumpy road from time to time, but there are some things in life where compromise simply isn't possible, and where two people just have to agree to disagree and move on.

[Zoie]

lol at the fine print.. Guess my lawyer failed to inform me of the fine print area of the marriage cert.

Joking spouses (wifes, gf's etc) usually have more smarts then we do.. we usually think with our first impulses of sex, fighting etc.. women use tactics in a situation and will be known to use jedi mind tricks on people like yoda!

[Stephanie47]

When two people are in newly in love, they'll agree to anything! Yes, sweetie it's OK to wear a pretty dress just like mine! Yes, honey, it's OK to wear that low cut dress with your boobs almost hanging out and no panties! Marriage is based on give and take, know when to pick your battles, and respect each others feelings. Hopefully two persons grow together, but, sometimes somethings just do not sit well. I could not imagine under dressing with my wife accompanying me, if she objected. Nor, could I ask her to not wear panties under her dress, if I knew it made her uncomfortable. And, sometimes tolerances may change over the years. I did not have a cross dressing issue to divulge before marriage. It would have been really nice, when it did resurface years later that it would have been something to enjoy together. Cross dressing is just more than going fishing with the guys on the weekend.

[Joanne f]

No one in a relationship or marriage has the right to tell someone what they should or should not do as you are in a relationship with the other person and not an ownership of that other person , all things done should be out of respect and understanding of each others needs to a degree of what is accepted as being sensible and will not cause the other person undue stress or harm , each should look at each others needs or dislikes and sort then out sensibly to suit both with some sort of compromise if possible.

[sandra-leigh]

No one in a relationship or marriage has the right to tell someone what they should or should not do as you are in a relationship with the other person and not an ownership of that other person.

I think you should rethink that, Joanne.

"Don't hit me!" "Don't put the baby's hand on the hot stove!" "Don't bring drugs into the house!" "Don't gamble away our money!"

Are those not telling someone what they should or should not do? Which of them would you say that there is no "right" to say to someone? Are you distinguishing between "right" and "legal obligation for positive action" in the cases where a child is being endangered?

"My sincere apologies; I know I wouldn't have any right to say anything if you were doing it to me, but under section 5b of the Child Welfare Act, I am obliged but to inform you that it is unlawful to burn the hand of our infant daughter. Thank you for your consideration." "Oh, sorry, hun, I forgot." "That's alright, dear."

[ReineD]

The fine print of marriage contracts aside, I don't think the issue is your wife's wish to control you. Most GGs don't understand anything about the CDing without taking the time to learn more about it. If she thinks it is a dirty little hobby or it is unhealthy, it makes sense that she would object. A potential partner who smokes is a deal breaker for many people, for example.

Your wife doesn't tell you when to cut your hair, or what to eat, what TV shows to watch, or whether you should wear the brown or the blue pants, does she?

It might be good for you and she to talk about why she objects to the CDing and also if you could get her some literature or web sites to read. You might also want to consider having her join this site. We do have a private FAB (female at birth) forum, to support the wives.

[Karren H]

...in your response, Karren, especially since you seem to follow your own drummer when it comes to your crossdressing despite the fact that your wife isn't crazy about it, based on what you have posted in the past.



Me sarcastic?? Please!! After 35 years of marriage... Anyone who doesn't realize who has the power in a marriage is either kidding himself... Or on the brink of getting a divorce.. Or both..

[sandra-leigh]

Your wife doesn't tell you when to cut your hair, or what to eat, what TV shows to watch, or whether you should wear the brown or the blue pants, does she?

Less than 2 weeks ago, my wife turned to me in bed and said "Cut your hair!". Less than 2 weeks before that, she told me "Go to Steve's!" -- which is a barbershop (a good one, if you want male hair.)

I know she doesn't like my bangs hanging down and "hiding my face", but the Steve's reference was not very sensitive.

She did say something about a Twiggy haircut, so possibly there is some compromise style. I do not, however, intend to get my overall hair cut shorter unless I get a more explicitly female haircut.

[ReineD]

Sandra Leigh, my question was rhetoric, intended for the OP to illustrate the difference between disliking something that our society considers taboo, and exerting undue control over someone.

It's not really about haircuts. :p

[deebra]

LeslieLangford seems to be the only one of you that has her head squarely on her shoulders, thinks intelligently and has some balls under her panties. Her posts says it very well, the rest of you have been beaten down, brain washed and are totally 100% pussy whipped. Let her rule so she won't get mad (shrinks call it Peace At Any Price). Each individual has the right to wear their choice of clothing as long as it does not bring embarassment to their mate. I stand by my post. And for the whimps i say why don't you try standing up for youself, see if you still have some backbone and say this is something I need and enjoy so BACKOFF, I am not your dog, cat or car that you own and control, consider my feelings.

[ReineD]

And for the whimps i say why don't you try standing up for youself, see if you still have some backbone and say this is something I need and enjoy so BACKOFF, I am not your dog, cat or car that you own and control, consider my feelings.

Good lord, Deebra, that's a bit harsh, don't you think? A marriage is not an autocracy. Whatever happened to communication, negotiation, and compromise?

Your wife objects to the CDing, not unlike millions of CDs who spend years purging and hoping it will go away before they accept it within themselves. Many CDs finally come to self-acceptance after a long and tortuous journey, and it is only fair that a wife should be given the same time and space to enlighten herself.

[Gerrijerry]

You can do what ever you want in a marrage. Your wife or SO can also which means she or you can leave also. If for some reason you wish to stay together then you would have to reach a compremise. So if she does not like what you wear then you can either talk or leave.

[BRANDYJ]

Wow! I wonder if this is how you sound off to your wife when things don't go your way. So since we don't agree with you or give you the answer you wanted...

we don't have our heads squarely on our shoulders?

I see. It's not your way so the rest of us are beaten down, brain washed and totally pussy whipped too?

And this includes one of the finest GG members of this site too?

And now we are all wimps too?

I truly pity your poor wife for having to put up with your arrogant, self righteous way. such as you have proved to be.

I have a backbone and will always stand up for myself. I simply choose to let my SO have control over her comfort level with me. I care about her therefore do much of what she wishes for me to do. It's what I enjoy, so we both are very happy the way it is. I am very happy in doing that.

You ask us to consider your feelings? You got to be kidding! How about considering the feelings of everyone here that gave their honest opinion without insulting you or putting you down. How about you take a lesson from this and for once consider your wife.

[sandra-leigh]

LeslieLangford seems to be the only one of you that has her head squarely on her shoulders, thinks intelligently and has some balls under her panties.

Having "balls under our panties" is not exactly the highest priority for some of us. For that matter, proving our "manliness" or "courage" isn't the highest priority for some of us either.

[Sophie86]

What a wife always has the right to do is walk out the door and leave the husband standing there by himself. Of course, he has the right to walk out on her too. That's the ultimate threat behind any ultimatums they issue to each other. The marriage relationship becomes a power struggle, a game of chicken to see who's going to blink. Personally, I think it would really suck to live like that. I prefer communication, consideration, negotiation and compromise. :)

[TxKimberly]

I'm thinking that this may be the wrong way to be looking at it.

I don't think one spouse ever has the right to dictate to the other what they can and can not do - that simply isn't the way a healthy marriage works. The fastest way to make very sure that I do something is for someone to forbid me from doing it. It then becomes a point of principle to stand up for myself and make a point by doing it. Before you celebrate though and go running to your SO with a printed copy of my statement, you need to consider a bit more. If your wife has asked you not to do something that scares her, or that she intensely dislikes, then you have some serious thinking to do. How much does her comfort and happiness mean to you? How much does your marriage mean to you? Is your need or want so sever that it is worth it to you to go against her wishes?
So - if she were to tell me what I can and can not do, I probably wouldn't listen.
Where my wife of 23 years to ask me not to do something, I would probably to try to please her.

[Sandra]

the rest of you have been beaten down, brain washed and are totally 100% pussy whipped. Let her rule so she won't get mad (shrinks call it Peace At Any Price). Each individual has the right to wear their choice of clothing as long as it does not bring embarassment to their mate. I stand by my post. And for the whimps i say why don't you try standing up for youself, see if you still have some backbone and say this is something I need and enjoy so BACKOFF, I am not your dog, cat or car that you own and control, consider my feelings.

I think your post here is dam right rude to the rest of the members here and also to some of the accepting GGs, who have set a certain boundaries (yes I say boundaries and not control no one should try and control). Many with the help of this have come to be more understanding and accepting and eventually the boundaries have been lifted.


You sound to me like the type of person who say's " like it or lump it"

[sandra-leigh]

Where my wife of 23 years to ask me not to do something, I would probably to try to please her.

:yt:

There is a lot that my wife does not ask of me, even though she might not be very thrilled with it. But when she asked me to remove my bright blue nail polish before meeting her family, the only difficulty I had was that she had some mistrust that I would do so. I'd done the nails myself and it wasn't a great job; it was no loss to remove the polish. If the lighter blue polish that I'd gotten in the salon before we left hadn't worn off, she might not have asked me to remove it, as she likes how that one looks. And she certainly had no problem with the massage therapists we visited seeing my brightly coloured toe-nails. The bright blue was over her comfort level partly because it wasn't the right color for me; it cost me very little to remove it; the dark purple toe polish remained and might have been seen by some of her family.


My wife likes to leave her winter boots in the middle of the landing where the family door opens, right where I trip over them and have problems opening the door (especially from outside.) I do wish she would compromise with me and move her boots to the side for safety and operational sake. Is that unreasonable in a relationship, to put a little thought in to the fact that I'm the one who carries the big things up and down stairs there, unable to see where I'm going? Compromise is not a swear-word.

[Joanne f]

I think you should rethink that, Joanne.

"Don't hit me!" "Don't put the baby's hand on the hot stove!" "Don't bring drugs into the house!" "Don't gamble away our money!"

Are those not telling someone what they should or should not do? Which of them would you say that there is no "right" to say to someone? Are you distinguishing between "right" and "legal obligation for positive action" in the cases where a child is being endangered?

"My sincere apologies; I know I wouldn't have any right to say anything if you were doing it to me, but under section 5b of the Child Welfare Act, I am obliged but to inform you that it is unlawful to burn the hand of our infant daughter. Thank you for your consideration." "Oh, sorry, hun, I forgot." "That's alright, dear."


Try and read all what i wrote and don`t twist what i have said , i am not stupid enough to think harming someone would be acceptable and i would assume that you would realise that as well, we were basically talking about wearing different clothes not harming people, but then i could have read it wrong .

[Leslie Langford]

Me sarcastic?? Please!! After 35 years of marriage... Anyone who doesn't realize who has the power in a marriage is either kidding himself... Or on the brink of getting a divorce.. Or both..

...make you say that, Karren? :heehee::eek::D

Who is it that first said "I would rather die a free man than live as a slave?"

[Karren H]

...make you say that, Karren? :heehee::eek::D

Who is it that first said "I would rather die a free man than live as a slave?"

Who ever it was he sure had never been married before! Lol.

[RACH99]

Deebra. Hi. I haven't known long about the CDing and frankly it scared me those first months. :strugglin You see I haven't learned enough to be really comfortable yet. I'm here trying though and with the help of members here I'm finding things getting better every day. I do know I'd be upset and feeling less important than his panties if I found him dishing up a tit for tat solution (it'd feel more like a threat IMHO)

I hope you'll find a way to give your wife what she needs (notice I didn't say wants) to be comfortable and happy. I know we GG's can be a pain at times but if we're here at all it's because we love our SO's and want to stay with our partners.

And ladies a big hug :gh: and a heart felt thank you for your words here. You give me hope [more than you'll ever know] I'm not as afraid as I was when I 1st joined Crossdressers and started reading.

Rach

[BRANDYJ]

Who ever it was he sure had never been married before! Lol.

Or he never learned that the first two words he needs to say forever after he says those first two words (I DO) ...
He never learned to say (YES DEAR)

[ReineD]

And ladies a big hug :gh: and a heart felt thank you for your words here. You give me hope [more than you'll ever know] I'm not as afraid as I was when I 1st joined Crossdressers and started reading.

Rach

... and also add my appreciation for the sane and down-to-earth ways you've responded to the OP, even some of the more lighthearted comments. :)

It's threads like these that help the newer GGs to the forum take the stigma out of the CDing.

:hugs:

[Miss Misery]

Good lord, Deebra, that's a bit harsh, don't you think? A marriage is not an autocracy. Whatever happened to communication, negotiation, and compromise?

Your wife objects to the CDing, not unlike millions of CDs who spend years purging and hoping it will go away before they accept it within themselves. Many CDs finally come to self-acceptance after a long and tortuous journey, and it is only fair that a wife should be given the same time and space to enlighten herself.

I think Deebra's pointing out that sometimes marriage ends up an autocracy. When CDing is involved, it's usually the GG who's calling the shots. Look at the comments here (read the fine print etc), sarcasm or not, they carry some truth.

I guess the first question to ask is "Is accepting your spouse's CDing really considered a compromise?" Think about it. Once you have conceded that, all the negotiating power lies with the "accepter" of your CDing.

Leslie - In answer to your question - I don't know this exact quote
Who is it that first said "I would rather die a free man than live as a slave". But Emiliano Zapata ( a leader in the Mex revolution) said "I would rather die standing up than live on my knees".

[ReineD]

Miss Misery, acceptance or even acknowledgment is not a compromise, but how much a wife is exposed to it while she is learning to wrap her mind around the CDing is, assuming of course that the OP and his wife are engaged in a meaningful discussion about this. But after Deebra's last post, I somehow doubt it.

Deebra, I say this with kindness, but sometimes if marriages have other issues, it is difficult to learn to manage the CDing. Have you considered getting marital counseling with your wife so the two of you can learn to communicate and respond to your individual needs effectively?

[Miss Misery]

....acceptance or even acknowledgment is not a compromise, but how much a wife is exposed to it while she is learning to wrap her mind around the CDing is, assuming of course that the OP and his wife are engaged in a meaningful discussion about this......

I'm not sure I follow your statement. Are you saying the wife needs more or less exposure to CDing while she's trying to wrap her mind around it? I'm glad you agree that acceptance/acknowledgement is not a compromise but I think many other "accepting" SO's believe otherwise. Just my observations and opinion.

[ReineD]

No, Miss Misery. I'm saying that a wife needs to at least acknowledge that her husband has needs to crossdress, and take the steps required to learn more about it, hopefully with her husband's help and patience.

But the husband also needs to acknowledge that his wife needs time to wrap her mind around it, while doing his best to remember that it possibly took him 10 years if he began at age 12 and he is now 22. In the meantime, they can compromise. They can both provide for him to have time and space to crossdress when she is not present. But, during all of this, the wife and the husband need to continue to talk often and share their feelings with one another, and hopefully both grow together in their understanding of how the CDing is playing out in their lives.

Also in the meantime, if the husband is interested in not having his wife be turned off by him sexually (while she is learning), he may well consider that wearing panties when he is with her might adversely affect their sex life.

This is the fairest way to look at this.

[t-girlxsophie]

Now this post wont be as measured as my last one because Never have I heard as big a load of B******S in all my life as have heard from the original poster here.So treating your SO with respect means your pussy whipped,dont think so,my Wife has never made demands,she may say she isnt comfortable with something and will ask me not to do it,never will she order me,our relationship is an equal one.To just do what you please without concern for your SO will end badly and you will soon find your life pretty lonely,just my opinion tho

Sophie

[deebra]

In responce and to clarify to those that think I am a real hard a__, in my relationship with my SO of 10 years we are very loving, considerate and compromising and show respect and consideration of each other, but we respect each others right to" notgive in just to get along". We donot agree on politics and never will, most other things we agree100%. As this post has shown and in most homes across America women rule the roost and the men are submissive to achieve peace and get along. I am not one of them. Simply put, if I choose to wear panties its my individual right and a controlling wife or SO does not have the right to tell me no. My SO agrees.

[Danni Bear]

Now I am totally confused

What was the purpose behind the OP? According to your last post deebra,there was no issue between you and your wife over this. Was it only to get a response from the members of this forum for your amusment? I'm sorry if that offends you but that is the way it seems IMO.

Danni

[deebra]

Danni, the purpose of the original post was notm to start a fight for my amusement, I have re-read it several times and it is worded very well. The members that disagree with me should read it again very carefully for what it says. An individual has certain personal rights in relationships and they donot have to give in to their mate on every issue. Some members will compromise on everything and will accept getting their "original-wants" on absolutely nothing. They are the spineless, pussywhipped beaten down males that have been beaten down by women over the years and are now mentally programed to accept, change and compromise with their mates on anything thats brought up. Apparently they live to please and be a servant to a woman. If I choose to wear any type of underwear and androgenist undetectible outerwear thats my right, not hers to control me in this way. Again I stand by every thing I have written. One thing I hope we all can agree on, some designer/stranger years ago says I'll design men and womwns clothing and thats what they must wear. Next comes the wife that tells the husband the designer says these soft, pretty, silky panties are just for women and even though you prefer them, you are forbidden to wear them. The designer said so, so we have no choice but to do what the designer says, I say B___S___.

[ReineD]

You obviously do not need the advice or the support offered you from the members here since as you said in post #44 your wife agrees with you.

So there's no point in keeping a thread open where you spew out venom at people.

Thread closed.