Women greeting other women? I have to share this!

[Emme]

First a question. Is it routine for women to acknowledge, i.e. speak with a smile to other women..such as in a store?

I finally went shopping. I have often written that I live in femme most of the tme I am at home in the country off the highway. I am large. 6' 4" now, i have shrunk over the 67 years from 6'6" at youth. I collect coats. I have been looking for a pin stipe dress for years. My fav dress recently it came in the mail. My wife was gone and I decided to WEAR MY NEW DRESS AND COAT SOMEWHERE. I buy my hair from a ethnic super store in a village about 34 miles to the south. I figured...I go there in drab to buy hair...why not make my first shopping trip there. I did And it was fine.

I did light make up, put on my favorite silver jewlery, my brand new Dianah engagment ring on my rt hand and the new diiamond and wedding band on the left. It felt good, I was relaxed, I got in my Denali and was off. It was raining and getting dark.

I arrived at the hair place and got my purse together, my debit card and some cash was inside. I have made a dual ID card with Emme's picture and her alter ego pictures. I went inside. "My purse hit a display rack and stuff went flying. LOL A SA said "it's Ok mam}. i walked slow, listening to the click of my low hells on the hard wood floor. head up and walk slow, one foot in front of the other....it worked....I encountered a group of very young women and had to pass riight thru and they did not notice me. The SA greeted me and i passed on to the 100's of wiggs for sale. I browsed with other women some smiled ...but most were interested in what they were doing...not me.
I needed help and i called a SA over and she said wow...I asked how I looked...she said "you had me fooled for several minutes...until you called me over for help". She was very sweet. I sid I am a crossdresser. She said i sell wiggs! We had fun. I bought two hair pieces and left.

I needed coffe and milk. Off to the supermarket. I parked, got my bag (pocket book) in order and headed to the very bright lit store. It was raining hard.

As I enter the store I got a basket...placed my bag inside like I have seen my wife do 100000 of times and turned to face the crowd.........now for the question?????

Ther was a blond woman checking out and our eyes met....she gave me the biggest smile and mouthed "HI' I did the same back. Did she read me or is it natural???

I got my food, was told by three people excuse me mam....it was cool!

At the register the clerk asked "mam do you have your MVP card" and I said in a low sweed deep voice "no" I handed her a twenty with my dimond hand and she gave me change and a sweet "have a good night, mam, it is stormy out tonight'

I pushed the cart towards the door. I stopped, opened my bag to get my keys to the ready,as I should, and a man bumped me and said "i am so sorry mam" as he go his basket to shop with. i was out the door into the rain and drove home. I was tired and elated at the same time.

Girls, fellow women, and guys I am not pretty, I am large, it was fun. I don't know how I did.....my mirror said I looked much better than the picture I took when I got home. Only one STRANGE LOOK from a 8 year old kid....he did a double take.....I have been reading her for a year or so and I know kid are quick.

I will do it again!

[Aprilrain]

Where do you live? I go out all the time en femme and rarely do I get ma'amed. I assume I don't pass so I also assume that is the reason why people avoid pronouns and titles when they talk to me.

To answer your question, women smile that's just what they are taught from an early age. It's disarming

[AllieSF]

I go out all the time and, yes, women smile at each other and at men too as a silent greeting like a man will nod his head a little to another man. I never realized that until a joined this forum and read some posts about women smiling. I like it and do it all the time too now, even at men!

[Emme]

I did too! I smiled a lot!

If I have a conversation....they will know I am a man. As we get older we just don't care. I can not be embarassed....it is just me!

[Jenna Lynne]

Haven't been out enough in recent years to answer your question about greetings and acknowledgments of strangers ... but I do remember noticing a distinct difference when walking down the street. When you walk down the street as a man and look at a woman who is approaching, she will generally avert (look away) in order to avoid giving you a come-on.

At least, they always avert from me. I was never a lifeguard, you understand.

But when they saw me as another woman, they didn't avert. The difference was subtle but unmistakable. So I think it's a version of what you're talking about. In an indoor setting, such as a store, I expect a casual "hi" might be very normal. And they would never say that to a strange man, because it would be tantamount to saying, "I'm sexually attracted to you."

[Christy_M]

Great story and great experience. I am very encouraged by your confidence and courage. Thank you for sharing.

[Chickhe]

Yup, its normal. Woman look at each other, smile and say a nice quick 'hi'. They also look you up and down and critique what you are wearing thinking 'I wish I could pull off what that chick can!'...which alwys makes me laugh knowing some woman out there may be trying to look like a guy who is trying to look like a woman!

[dominique]

When out dressed I have had quite a few women smile at me and I now smile back. I feel if they do to you its just manners to return the compliment.

[noeleena]

Hi.


When i greet others male or female its the same for me i just say Hi. .i start with the H & raise it a bit so its not a monotone as you lift your note then lower it back to where you started.not unlike doing the scales in singing ,

i did spend sometime singing so dont have much problem that way. smileing is normal as its a greeting as well even if you dont know the other woman.
males well thats a bit different unless you know each other . they grunt & to get a smile is like getting blood from a stone no emotion just nothing .

If you say Hi in a monotone its like you have to, sort of a low base. its not a wellcoming greeting . its dead , no life ...

as a woman im exited im expressing my self its like hey your my friend so its neat its nice to be on the same level when greeting each other .

To day i went in to our air & power tool shop known them for 16 years . our greetings are the same its like being happy to see each other theres four guys & one woman . of cause they know all about me. yet we get on so well. its like a family of friends . i wished them a merry xmas & new year.
Thats the difference for me

...noeleena...

[Starla]

As I mentioned in my recent marathon post, a smile can be a formidable icebreaker. Yes, it is far more common for women to briefly acknowledge others (of both sexes) in passing with deliberate eye contact, a smile, and even a quick little "hello." Men are more likely (especially when acknowledging each other) to make minimal eye contact, accompanied by a quick nod and, if they are really sociable, a brief grunt. :)

[tamarav]

Hi! Pollyanna here. I go out daily. I dress in what I like. I work with women and work on mostly women. Women are much more sociable than men. Women tend to smile at all other women when they meet, and then some talk about the other women later. But the initial meeting is generally a smile and a quick glance at the other woman's shoes and off they go.

CDs need to get out more ,whether in drab or en femme and see the rest of the world rather than sitting behing a computer worrying about the tiniest details and failing to get out dressed because their shoes may need new heels or whatever.

When someone says Hi to you, say hi back. Quit worrying about your voice so much and just relax and speak softly. Lots of women have male type voices, I sometimes have to remind myself whose hair I am doing and glance up at my client in the mirror to remember to address the client appropriately. Within the first 20 seconds of a conversation with anyone, your voice has already made a register in the other person's mind and they will not continued to get wigged out over your voice. What they first hear is now normal to them, so just keep going.

I often have long conversations with clients and realize that the heistancy that many of us use is more striking than the tone or timber of our voice.

So, lighten up on yourself, get out and enjoy life. Smile at everyone, and say Hi when appropriate.

[Stephenie S]

Yes. One of the nicest things about being a women is the camaraderie. You are "in the club", so to speak. Women smile at each other. And often they will speak to each other. No more than a quick "Hi", sometimes a quick compliment. To avoid this, to avert your eyes, ignore the greeting, will out you quickly. Or at least gain you more attention than you want. "What's wrong with her?"

That short quick sideways nod of your head is a universal male trait recognized by everyone. Don't do it. Even to another man. If you do, he will read you immediately. Replace it with a smile. Always.

Yes, women smile. It's fun, we love it.

S

[Jilmac]

I have been greeted as maam by other women at Kohl's, Target, Wal Mart, and several restaraunts, most times with a friendly smile. It's such a great feeling to be treated like a lady.

[Christie ann]

Oh yes, smiling is the thing. I don't know if all GG's smile at each other, I just know that I smile at them and they smile back (and vis versa) and I feel like I am included in their club.

[Emme]

WOW What a great group.....Thanks... I got the feeling of acceptance when she smiled in the grocery line. I feel much better about being 6' 4". I need to go out again...soon!

Thanks again!! smile smile smile!!

[Rianna Humble]

If I have a conversation....they will know I am a man.

I used to think that, but people respond to the visual clues first. My voice is still way too deep and on the phone, I get "sir" and "mister" all the time. I went for an eye test yesterday and was talking to the optician for over half an hour. At no point did she address me as a male and when handing me over to a sales assistant to choose my new glasses the introduction went "This is Ms Humble, she needs new glasses for computer work, would you help her to choose them, please?"

[Miss Misery]

I must be weird because I smile at people (male and female) on the street all the time - and I don't go out en femme at all so I'm just a guy smiling at people. Mixed results though. Many respond likewise, while some look at me like I'm gonna steal their purse or take the last "on sale item". I will say that men seem less likely to even have eye contact with others than women do. Seems to me.

[carhill2mn]

First a question. Is it routine for women to acknowledge, i.e. speak with a smile to other women..such as in a store?

In answer to your question - yes! I was in a nearby mall today and many women looked at me a gave a little smile. Of course, I smiled back! I have found this to be true nearly all of the time. Men rarely look at and smile at another man!

[Rianna Humble]

It has always been my experience that women are happy to socialise with other women in a store. I guess when I was pretending to be a man, I must have been giving off some clues because women would often speak to me in a similar manner.

[KateW]

Old people seem to speak to me all the time and women do tend to be more friendly. One question I always struggle with is if you see a trans woman, should you approach them - as they may not wish to feel that they have been read.

[Starla]

Old people seem to speak to me all the time and women do tend to be more friendly. One question I always struggle with is if you see a trans woman, should you approach them - as they may not wish to feel that they have been read.

I would never even imply to a perceived transperson that they have been read. (Also since they might NOT actually be trans -- no one's "transdar" is perfect.) I would do the exact opposite: perhaps a deliberate friendly word, greeting, or gesture that would subtly acknowledge their chosen gender presentation. If they are actually not trans, then no harm, no foul; if they are, then my little greeting or gesture might just be a little boost of confidence for them, wherever they are on their journey.

[eluuzion]

hiya Emme,

Depending on which psychologist you consult on which day, lol…It has been estimated that anywhere between 50 to 80 percent of the meanings in a conversation is communicated nonverbally. Smiling is one of those crucial "cues" in interpreting meaning.

Men and women have distinct differences in the way they communicate. Generally speaking, the primary difference is that men are “resolvers” and women are “relaters”. Men focus on finding solutions, “getting it done” and solving problems. Women focus on understanding feelings, emotions, establishing rapport and “being understood“. :thumbsup:

Many “differences” may be the result of evolved social roles (“women are nice/friendly/nurturing”… “men are strong, tough, aggressive”).
Women are better at communicating and interpreting non-verbal cues than men. Maybe because they do not have the option of punching men out, who are typically bigger in physical stature, :D. So, women depend more on sending/interpreting non-verbal cues than men. There are lots of studies and research that shows women smile much more than men. Smiling is one manner in which women routinely adhere to their societal role expectation of exuding a general feeling of “pleasantness” and appeasement.

The “smiling code” you observed “between women” is simply a neutral nuance of greeting behavior more specific to women. (which of course, mystifies men, who interpret any warm body that smiles at them as a “come-on”, lol). Basically, when women do not "smile" it tends to freak men out...:heehee:

It’s like “nodding”. Women nod their heads to indicate they are still “listening” to the speaker. Men only nod when they in agreement with what the talker is saying… :brolleyes:

In my opinion, this is all futher evidence to support my basic theory that we would all communicate better if we would quit trying to "talk" to each other so much…and just have more sex…!! :thumbsup::heehee::thumbsup:

now, who's with me?!!??? :D

:love:

[Starla]

In my opinion, this is all futher evidence to support my basic theory that we would all communicate better if we would quit trying to "talk" to each other so much…and just have more sex…!! :thumbsup::heehee::thumbsup:

now, who's with me?!!??? :D



I am intrigued by your ideas, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter......

[Laura Evans]

women are more social than men and therefore the smile. I always smile at men or women whenever I am out.

[Rachel Morley]

Wow, that's so awesome! Just goes to show, that even if (in your own words) you think you are not pretty and are large, that's no barrier to passing in public! Women come in many shapes and sizes, so the key is to not look male rather than trying to look pretty or small or whatever. I bet you act feminine too, your mannerisms etc. Anyway, to answer your question, I agree with the others, women give each other much more eye contact and smile at each other way more than men do. It's normal for women to be more friendly with each other.

[Emme]

so the key is to not look male rather than trying to look pretty or small or whatever. I bet you act feminine too, your mannerisms etc.

Interesting thought. Actually, I don't act fem in boy mode and have to work at it in fem mode. I do not want to "SWISH"

When I first shaved my leggs, I almost cried at the mess. Over time I learned about epliation and the luffa to take off the dead skin. Finally I have the leggs I want, they are always baby smooth.

We have to learn how to present ourselves. When I first walked thru the hair store, my mind was saying ,head up, walk slow, one foot infront of the other. It seemed to have worked. I may not be beautiful, but I can work like the dickins to be graceful. I want the whole presentation to be beautiful. I want to look close to my age. While getting dressed, I rememberd all the times my wife asked me ,why the heck do you have so much makeup on... this time I used just enough to look clean and fresh.

Several years ago I set up a video camera and walked and watchhed the video. OH OH OH I almost purged! It was here comes the elephant. I would read on here and other sites ( no site has been as good as Ours here) how to walk like a woman. I go outside on the farm a lot. One day my wife said...."I saw that girl walking across the yard...aren't you something." I almost melted with joy.

I love winter coats. I went crazy and bought two last month. I bought wifey one also. I love to model in front of my sweet wife..... she tolerates me and when asked...how do i look..she said "you look like a well dressed woman." now move out from in front of my television.

That was it, I had to try it out on the public. It was fun and not that exciiting. I just felt like me...a girl going to get her hair done.

One more thing! When I was ready to leave the house and go to town, I looked in the mirror...I can't say beautiful...but I did look pretty sharp.
I lke mirrors more than pictures.


I am a surgeon not a typist

[eluuzion]

I am intrigued by your ideas, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter......

Would a short note scribbled with an eyeliner pencil on a cocktail napkin work?:battingeyelashes:

:hugs:

[Emme]

Today, Friday I told the wife about my adventure. Small fireworks...not much really...then we went shopping an we bought me got a new womans wallet and a new wool scarf to match my new coat. Life iis good!

[noeleena]

eHi.

A case in point iv just got back from a concert we had 70 people there . as normal i was taking the pics, the lady is a very good singer & the guy is pretty good on the organ of cause iv talked with them before so they know me after the evening we went to our local caffe on queens a meal house. they too know me as our groups go there a lot.

while we were chatting about 15 of us .3 young lass s came in when they saw me they just smiled & said hi. same as on leaveing, now most women apart from those i know smile tho i have seen over the last few days some seem out of sorts & its a low hello. like do i have to. xmas time blues. in the main its okay.
oh the concert xmas songs & some other german & french this lady is quite short & ..... OH WOW ...... can she SING.... pretty cool for a cow cocky ummm cow milker.. she could pull the roof down shes good.. any way thats my evening out.

...noeleena...

[Debutante]

Women are always friendly and nice to each other in public.The smile and 'hi' happens all the time -- I see my wife do this everywhere.
This is what women do... and CDers and TGs persons need to emulate that!
If you want to "be a woman", "to pass" -- learn to feel good with yourself, secure in public, and smile back!

[Rianna Humble]

I knew I was doing something wrong! I need to learn to do what I have always done naturally in femme mode :eek:

[sallyfields]

When my husband first felt able to go out dressed, I told him do not go out trying to look exactly like a lady your draw attention to yourself and if people look close they will see you do not feel comfortable totally so the secret is to go out feeling comfortable feeling that you look the best you can and that you belong in the world as you are look relaxed and just be who you are inside and you will soon find your in public feet. Just make sure you look in a way you feel comfortable.

[makin' it real]

So yesterday morning I was out walking early. During these walks I've started practicing and integrating some more feminine ways of moving and holding my body. I was wearing my usual girl clothes but still very much presenting as a man. There aren't too many people out walking around in our neighborhood at 6:30 on a drizzly morning, so I generally feel free to blend my movements in whatever way feels right at the time without worrying about how others see me.

Well, as I was walking down one block, I saw a couple women walking toward me on the other side of the street. I continued my soft style of walking, and as we neared each other they started crossing the street in such a way that their angle was taking them straight toward me! This was highly unusual behavior and I was a little startled by it. They both came within just a few feet of me, and smiled and made eye contact as we passed. I consciously smiled back at them, having read this thread and others about how women smile at each other in passing, and laughed at myself as my head automatically gave a quick nod at the same time. Those guy habits die hard!

Still, I loved the sense of easy inclusion with each other, rather than the usual distancing and wariness found between men and women in public. It was such a small thing, but I still get a feeling of softness and warmth from it. I love being a gender blender.

Rachel

[Kaz]

Emme, sounds you really grew through the experience. I am so pleased it went well!:hugs:

Women are always smiling at each other. It reminds me of an experienceI had a few years ago. I was staying in a serviced apartment block and had finally decided to venture out for real. I had played around walking arounf hotels and car parks, and thought, no I am going to do this. I get in the lift and immediately a woman in her 30s (staff) gets in... I am panicking but she turns, smiles.. I smile back... and it is cool. I still don't know if i ws read, but I suspect not... had no issues for the rest of the "walkabout".

I have since started smiling at women as routine when in drab mode, and I always get smiles back... not to everyone, I hasten to add, but in situations when you have a choice of acknowledging someone or not. It really makes a difference!