Thoughts on getting caught....

[5150 Girl]

So, I have to wonder, if the people who react badly to catching a CD'er do so out of the shock or the elament of surpise. People don't like surpises.
It also occurs to me that this shock may serve to make their first exposure to a CDer less than positive, thus giving them a negitive view of the TG comunity.
Just a thought.

[TiffanyTgirl]

Valid point. It seems that many SO's have no idea about our alter egos. Having an extremely manly man turn up in silk and satin is probably a shock.

[Davina-Alba]

So, I have to wonder, if the people who react badly to catching a CD'er do so out of the shock or the elament of surpise. People don't like surpises.
It also occurs to me that this shock may serve to make their first exposure to a CDer less than positive, thus giving them a negitive view of the TG comunity.
Just a thought.

Good points and of course another thing is that people just don't understand what cross dressing is about and they tend to be negative about things they don't understand. This has been true of the human race for as long as it has been on the planet.

[Gerrijerry]

Hey I don't think we understand what crossdressing is really about. so how can others????

[Davina-Alba]

Hey I don't think we understand what crossdressing is really about. so how can others????

I agree, but I would have thought that underlines my comment.

In my experience having been "caught" several times in different scenarios is that most people tend to be fairly laid back or even amused. Quite a few, particularly women, find it all a bit of a turnon, but a large minority can be very nasty. How have others found this?

[Karren H]

Always said dressing up and jumping out of the closet to introduce your fem side to your SO was a bad idea!!!

[5150 Girl]

Hey I don't think we understand what crossdressing is really about. so how can others????

Yes, and couple this lack of understanding with shock, it just makes a bad scene even worse...

[AllieSF]

Do you mean getting caught by one's SO, or by others? I do not have a SO at the present nor have I been caught by anyone I know and did not know about this side of me, so, I have no experience to comment on. I do go out all the time, but for me I am not caught, I am read all the time. Most of the reactions that I have had turned into conversations with complete strangers. I would say that they were not surprised, but rather curious or not really interested and accepted me as me. I have had no negative reactions yet.

[MJ]

Always said dressing up and jumping out of the closet to introduce your fem side to your SO was a bad idea!!!

Yep fastest way to get a divorce

[eluuzion]

As a rule, people only like surprises that come in gift wrapped boxes. At some point in our lives, we have all been guilty of sneaking into the closets to check out the hidden gifts before Xmas. Most women do not expect to find their husbands or SO hiding in there dressed in feminine clothes...:heehee:

Unless it is a room full of your friends and a birthday cake, "surprises" typically do not go over well. "Shock" and "Discovery" of something that has been concealed in a relationship has a tendency to quickly transform into "Deception" met with "Anger" in the mind of an SO. (justifiable so)

The whole CD issue begins from a starting point of lies and deception when you are a "surprise". Not the best venue for trying to sell "acceptance". It is like discovering a stranger in your laundry room. Your first instinct is to hit them with a bat, not launch a Q & A therapy session...

just my opinion...
:love:

[AKAMichelle]

It may be a combination of all of the above, but it does cause a big problem for us all.

[Davina-Alba]

Do you mean getting caught by one's SO, or by others?

I think caught out by anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Gosh, I sound like a Martini advert:doh:

[Melinda G]

I think a lot of women know that crossdressing is sexually driven for most of us, and resent us having another option besides them. A lot of wives may perceive it as a threat.

And a man attracted to a crossdresser may be angered by being deceived by his own eyes, and realizing he has been attracted to another man. Just a couple thoughts on the subject.

[sometimes_miss]

When a child is born, the first thing anyone asks is, is it a boy or girl? Which sex you are determines a lot about how other people will interact with you. As they know you better, it progresses, but your sex and sexual preference still makes a difference on how they think about you as well as whether they see you as friend, potential love, friend of a lover, etc. the list goes on and on. When someone discovers you're a crossdresser, that throws everything they know about you into question, as well as of course they're suspecting that you've been fooling them about other things besides your sexual identity. That would shock anyone. A person they thought they knew well, they suddenly find out that they don't really know at all.

[k lynn]

I was caught yesterday by a female friend at the gym read my thread getting caught

[Davina-Alba]

I was caught yesterday by a female friend at the gym read my thread getting caught

Poetic (or athletic) Justice?

[Mary Morgan]

I really believe it comes down to fear of therr unknown or under-known. Many people tend to have a "cartoon" view of us. To make my point, those who really know me have not been bothered by it, surprised but not bothered. As to those who don't know me, too bad for them, I'm a nice person.

[Kate Simmons]

Thinking or seeing anything outside of the "box" makes many people uncomfortable Hon.They want everything tied up in a neat little package or everything in a catagory. Of course these folks have no imagination or fun.:)

[k lynn]

You are so right Mary Morgan if people only took the time to get to know someone have a good day

[Rachel05]

I have to admit that the thought of getting caught filled me with dread for many many years and the day it actually happened and my wife confronted me over it after I had become a little careless and it was actually like a weight had been lifted and instead of that dread I felt elated that finally she knew and it wasn't a secret any more

She on the other hand wasn't so elated and still doesn't speak of it although she now knows it is part of me, but she really can't understand why I want or need to do it, hey ho the road to understanding goes on

[Davina-Alba]

She on the other hand wasn't so elated and still doesn't speak of it although she now knows it is part of me, but she really can't understand why I want or need to do it, hey ho the road to understanding goes on

Sadly that is a common state of affairs.

[Carly D]

My thought of being caught: If it were family and because of how long I've kept this secret (not sure it is a complete secret but I haven't told anyone I know yet) and that means a very long time.. How would they react, finding out that I have been dressing for a very long time.. Twenty years (ok that's a lie) is quite a while to keep a secret.. I think i would tell them twenty years although I've been dressing off and on as long as I can remember..