Looking Good vs. Feeling Comfy

[Jenna Lynne]

I don't know if this is just a whine, or if it's a topic for discussion. After a few hours dressed, I start wanting (needing, really) to get back into boy mode. It's not because I'm tired of looking pretty. That never happens! But my scalp wants me to take the wig off, my feet want me to take the pumps off, my ears really don't like the clip-ons, and my facial pores would like to breathe.

Okay, I can wander around in my stocking feet, and the earrings are not a big deal one way or the other, but without the wig I just don't feel right. I don't look that great to begin with, but without the wig I look gross.

That last haircut was a mistake. I should have let my hair start growing long again. But long hair doesn't help much when you're missing the front two inches because your hairline receded years ago.

Do others have the same feelings? I know some of you dress more than I do ... how do you deal with the comfort issue?

[stefanie]

i actually feel more comfy the other way around.... could probably wear 4" heels all day and well have in my going out ventures. I tend to whine the other way when i need to dress back.... :(

[AllieSF]

I really do not have those problems. I used to use clip-on earrings until a got both ears pierced a couple of years ago, or was that early last year. I did occasionally have sore ear lobes after wearing the clips when out and about. I also have one wig that is just a tad too tight which sometimes gives me a slight headache later in the evening. I always do my best to try to eliminate feet and toe pains by using different shapes and sizes of those soft gel shoe inserts and strategically placed tape when the shoes rub me the wrong way. I put all that in perspective and just grin, actually really smile, and bear it. It is so special for me to be out on the town that putting up with a little pain and discomfort is more than worth it.

[LitaKelley]

I'm more comfortable when dressed although the wig can itch after a couple hours.

[prene]

i actually feel more comfy the other way around.... could probably wear 4" heels all day and well have in my going out ventures. I tend to whine the other way when i need to dress back.... :(

I feel like Stephanie. I can't go with 4" heels maybe 3-3 1/2" boots now those I could wear all day.
I wear hose/panties and a bra most days unless I am going to the gym. I even wear small breast enhancers in my 36B bra.

[Pythos]

Ditto about feeling more comfortable when wearing and looking how I wish opposed to how society wants me. I could stay in heels for a long while, and perhaps the corset for several hours. I have spent a whole day in the wig, and regretted when the time came for it to come off :)

I know the fun is over when the hose come off. Then I know it is back to drab. :P

[SaraRider]

I could wear a dress forever and I have my ears pierced but I have large feet so fitting into a shoe that is a small is hard for me.

[juligirl1984]

lol whats boy mode?

[spotlessMind]

Jenna, you sound like a natural born woman lol! Stupid boys! They don't have to deal with bra straps and garter belts and sore earlobes and frizzy hair and smudged mascara and they can take their shirts off whenever and pee standing up!! hehe ;) You're cute

[Gerrijerry]

For some crossdressing is just not an all day thing, they are not comfy. For others it is the more they crossdress the better. Then there are the full time girls of course that is who they are and it was never about the clothes. Does it really matter if you are happy? As for the pain of heels you can always wear low heels or flats and more pratical female shoes. Lots of woman do that. Clip on earrings well I think that can be a problem because they pinch your skin tightly and can cause pain. Get your ears pierced not a real big deal today many males have them done. There you go problem solved.

[Shari]

I'm with you Jenna.
Ditto for me too except the receding hairline. I still need the wig though.
Isn't it such a complete downer when you realize you have to change back? I find that I fight myself about it even though the comfort level is approaching zero.
I suppose it just makes the anticipation of the next session that much better.

[Dawna Ellen Bays]

I never spend more than a few hours dressed. I'd like to, but the wig starts to "get" to me after a while. I just take off the earrings when they start to pinch...

[erickka]

I feel more comfy in girl jeans and a cute top, along with a pair of reasonable heels than in anything I have in my guy wardrobe. This time of year a wig is a blessing to me since I am extremely follicularly challenged! LOL

[Sally24]

The only comfort issue I have is with my corset. When I wear one to make the outfit look better I usually cinch it up pretty tightly. I've worn one for as long as 14 hours before but prefer to go without. Many a time I've loosened and then taken the corset off altogether while driving home.

Other than an occasional headache, usually from a new tight wig cap, I only have the usual pains from high heels and such. During special times I've stayed dressed for as long as 3 days (except when I slept of course).

[Kate Simmons]

Basically to "woman up" and ignore the discomfort. This is how I used to dance for hours and hours.:)

[Karren H]

I hear comfort is over rated!! I plan to look good every time.. Otherwise why even break out the makeup kit?

[Jenna Lynne]

Then there are the full time girls of course that is who they are and it was never about the clothes. Does it really matter if you are happy? As for the pain of heels you can always wear low heels or flats and more pratical female shoes. Lots of woman do that. Clip on earrings well I think that can be a problem because they pinch your skin tightly and can cause pain. Get your ears pierced not a real big deal today many males have them done. There you go problem solved.
I've seen more than a few women (who I'm pretty sure were assigned female at birth) for whom is IS about the clothes! There used to be jokes about how the husband is ready to leave for the movies or party or whatever in 5 minutes, but the wife has to spend 45 minutes agonizing in front of the closet, because it's important to look right.

Does it really matter if I'm happy? My goodness, yes! I guess I probably don't understand your question, or what you're referring to.

"Problem solved," you say -- but you didn't mention the wig. That's really the biggie, I think. You want it to be tight enough that it doesn't skootch around, but not so tight that it cuts off circulation to your scalp.

[Emily Ann Brown]

My "sister" Karren knows at home I don't wear makeup. I have pierced ears and keep studs in. The hair is all mine, so no itch head. At home it is barefoot. The last time I had on heels before this last weekend Christmas Party was........I don't know! My girlfriend says I am SUCH A WOMAN....hahaha!

Em

[Cari]

[QUOTE=Jenna Lynne;2350693] But my scalp wants me to take the wig off, my feet want me to take the pumps off, my ears really don't like the clip-ons, and my facial pores would like to breathe. QUOTE]

You have gotten allot of good advice so far, with a few more tips from all maybe we can drop the discomfort level a bit. Some of it is just time and getting used to things but allot of it can be dealt with.

I have wigs I can wear all day, and wigs that require a wig cap which I find uncomfortable. My wigs really get itchy if they have product (Hair Spray,gel) built up in them so I wash mine often and rinse them out well. Check the inside of the wig and see if any hairs are sticking thru and tickling your scalp; a small crochet hook can pull them back up. At a GNO in the summer more than one of us has snuck into the bathroom taken off the wig and scratched the scalp for a few minutes. Some smaller ones that are too tight can be extended by snipping the elastic and sewing in a longer piece.

I like the tip on more comfortable shoes, No harm in rotating them while you are dressed. If you dont want flats a high heel with a wide base will be more comfortable, have you ever tried a wedge ? I remember the 80's and all those women in power suits with tennis shoes on, kinda glad that went away. Do all your heels hurt ? Once you find the "magic" pair it gets much better. There are also exercises on line that help, there is a you tube video out there just search how to walk in heels.

I feel clip on earrings are torture devices. A friend taught me this one. Put a dab of foundation on your lobe, take an earring and cut the stud off sand it down with a nail file. You can use a tiny dot of superglue and glue it on. When you take them off the glue will peel off with the foundation or a bit of nail polish remover will loosen it right up. If you want you can even glue the backs on. Just dont use too much glue it can leave a red spot; try it on your hand or arm first.

Pores cant breathe. What makeup are you using? For a quick photo session or if Im at home ill use much lighter foundation because beard cover isnt as big an issue. Mac is more comfortable than Max Factor, and different powders can be an issue . I think this one just takes some getting used to sometimes a very light mist of water will help out, practice at home first too much can be really bad.

Turn the hairline to your advantage, you should be able to get a very natural hairline out of the wig as you wont have any of your own hair showing thru.

When you find items that feel right note the size and brand ect. There are very stylish well put together women out there who survive all day; so either they are ignoring allot of pain or its possible to be comfortable. I have certain items that dont bother me at all and others that just never feel right. it takes time to find the good ones.

[NV Susan]

Wow, great tips throughout this thread!! Thanks for getting this started Jenna....I'm more comfortable already!! :)

[Kaz]

"Problem solved," you say -- but you didn't mention the wig. That's really the biggie, I think. You want it to be tight enough that it doesn't skootch around, but not so tight that it cuts off circulation to your scalp.

I have tried a few wigs and they do vary. There is one I have which is my all time current favourite (in my Avatar) and I can wear this all day and night with no problem. But I have had others that have not been right. But I suspect I have substantially less natural hair than you! So that may be a factor?

With a lot of this stuff I have found that it is about getting used to things. If you persevere, things become "normal". As I have very little natural hair, to me the feel of running my hands through my wig is truly awesome... all discomfort gone!

I like to wear heels a lot, but I also can feel very sexy in flats. And make-up is about the mirror... some of my best times on my own have been with no make-up, but with wig, flats, just chilling...

[5150 Girl]

I see a lot of complaints about wigs. I just don't feel right without miine, and when I have to be en-drab, I have a ball cap, and I really dont' see much of a difence somtimes. Of course I've always had long hair, I just wnet to the wig when I got embarisingly thing on top. I have some that pass for 80's rocker for drab mode for instances (like church) when a hat is inapropriate.
My only complaint (and it;s so minor it's not worth mentioning) about femine articals is high heels, I broke a toe in my younger days, and it's a tad crooked. Sometiems in heels it rubs funny, but a molesking often fixes that. Of course if I insert a moleskin, and I'm actualy better off in heels!

[Maria_1969]

Just not having pantyhose on ruins my day.... lol. My SECOND skin for sure.

In saying that, I feel more comfortable in my skirt, hose and heels physicially and mentally.... Lets just say, for me, I am realizing my fem side needs to be fed and these days, when I am in male mode, I am still wanting to feel fem and cant wait to get home and get into somethign nice. Pantyhose under my pants are not really an anser to helping my fem side, I just like them in man or woman mode.

[t-girlxsophie]

When my wig starts to Itch,I just excuse myself and go for a right good head scratch,as silly as It sounds I would much rather have these discomfort issues than not have them at all,My clothes are never uncomfortble,maybe my boots a little after I've wore them in the house for a while

:hugs:Sophie

[Joanne f]

Seeing that i only dress around the house now i do it for comfort, i hate wigs (OK dislike ) so after a few minutes it has to come off , i love my dangley ( not sure that there is such a word) earrings and i am sure that they dangle better without the wig

[Paulette]

I guess I fall in with the girls on this forum who say basically "Just pull up your big girl panties and deal with it" club. Before I had my ears pierced the clip on earings where hell especially if I went for a long week enfemme, by the time the last day came along my ears were throbbing. As Karen said comfort is so over rated when you are dressing like you want. I wan t to look my best so more time does go into that. I also will subject myself to the pain of waxing from nose to toes and countless hours hooked up to the electrolysis machine. You have not lived until they start zapping the hairs on your knuckles, fingers, arch of the foot and toes. Having to suffer for beauty at least as I see it gives me the strength to tell anyone who does not like the fact that I am wearing a killer gown or just a casual top and jeans to go jump off a cliff. When I feel the cool air on my bare shoulders wearing a strapless dress all of the pain is worth it.

[Sandy Banks]

In the words of the late Fernando Lamas, "It's not how you feel, it's how you look"!!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenna, Nobody ever said being a lady was going to be easy.

When it's time for MS. Orchid to leave and MR. Drab to come back that's a [Downner].

Orchid

[makin' it real]

I spend almost every minute of time not out and about in pure girl clothes, and find them much more comfortable than wearing boy clothes. Of course, this is fully comfortable maybe only because I've not been doing the full on wig and make-up. I'm just me in women's clothing. They are softer, lighter, and generally more comfortable for me. We'll see how it goes once I start wearing a wig all the time. (I'm buying my first one tomorrow! Yay!)

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The OP reminds me of an interaction in class one day at the University of Colorado, as related by Reader's Digest. A girl entered the classroom one day complaining of the cold weather. The professor, overhearing her complaints, asked why she didn't just put on the sweater she had tied around her waist. The coed replied, "Oh, that's for fashion." To which the professor responded, "Fashion is pain."

[docrobbysherry]

:sad: Here's why!

Name something that feels better than:

That tite laced corset taking my breath away and bruising my ribs.
The thong on my tuck rubbing me sore.
Bra straps cutting into my shoulders and chest.
Forms causing rash or blisters below my breasts.
5" heels bending my feet and straining my calves.
Hose, tite sleeves, gloves, necklace, and wig; warm, squeezing, and confining!

What could feel BETTER than that?:brolleyes:

Maybe the next day? When, with everything off, u have aching legs and sore feet, scratches, welts, and bruises all over your body. All of which remind u of how WONDERFUL it all felt YESTERDAY!?:D

[Nicole Erin]

YOu don't have to go crazy with stuff.
Comfort FTMFW.

[Raychel]

I am another one that only dresses at home, No wig, Well very seldom. They are very uncomfortable. The rest of the items I feel best in. WAY more comfortible then my male clothes.

[Cristi]

98% of the time I dress, it is NOT to go out but for just around the house. Once in a while I'll go all out, but for the most part I want to be comfortable enough that I can stay dressed all day, so: comfortable shoes, minimal makeup, non-underwire bra, nothing binding or pinching. I aim to be just as comfortable (if not more so) in girl's clothes as I am in guy's.

[Sarah Doepner]

Clip earrings are torture and I'm glad I finally decided to get the ears pierced. This improved things a lot. Shoes are a different story. I sometimes look at how long I'm going to be dressed and pick outfits starting with the shoes that work for that time frame. Makeup for home is usually very light. For going out I just try to get the best look I can and hope it holds up if I'm going to be away from basecamp for too long. Usually it's not enough of a problem to make me uncomfortable, but in the hotter weather it's a different story and I don't have an answer for that one yet. I stopped using a wig cap and just wash my wig on a regular basis. This gives my head a lot of relief and more places to use bobby pins to hold the looser fitting wig on. At home I often don't wear the wig now that I've let my hair grow out. It won't work out of the house because the thinning of my hair is too advanced, but it makes home a lot more comfortable.

The goal is rarely physical comfort, but mental comfort when I dress. It's a good day when I can dress and when I hit both the comfort goals, it's a great one. Good luck.

[Frédérique]

I know some of you dress more than I do ... how do you deal with the comfort issue?

There’s a point where discomfort becomes comfort, since it is a definite boundary between male and female, at least in terms of clothing. If you like wearing women’s clothing, and who around here doesn’t, then you can be pre-disposed to embrace discomfort as a form of masochism – you LIKE the discomfort, because it’s the only way to attain a certain mental state. Personally, I wear some very comfortable things, so any discomfiture I may feel is a tacit acknowledgement of “being over on the other side,” a place I long to be. I like feeling non-male, so I put up with the physical consequences…
:)

[Andy is Andi Too]

I do like to get back into my most comfy guy jeans after hours dressed. I guess it's just habit. But I got some advice early on to try and feminize my everyday presentation as a guy so there are little touches of fem that never leave me. I wear my hair very long, I pluck my eyebrows, keep my nails nice but unpainted, wear clogs, wear more form fitting tops, etc. So I don't think of my male mode as quite so drab.
Hugs,
Andie

[Stephanie47]

I do not feel comfortable en femme unless I have on a pretty dress, lacy slip, matching bra and panties, garter belt, stockings and heels. The wig is also essential. I can do without the makeup, if I have freshly shaved my face, and stay away from a closeup with the mirror. I don't have one pair of feminine pants or tops. That reminds me too much of guy mode. If I want to feel comfortable as a guy, it's a cut of jeans and a holey tee shirt.

[Roberta Marie]

It is possible to look good and be comfortable. There are some very comfortable, good looking clothes out there. But I find one of the things that effects both comfort and looks the most is fit. If clothes don't fit right, the are neither comfortable or good looking. And women's clothes that fit a guy's body can be hard to find, so I am learning to sew, and making many of my own clothes. That way I can get both comfort and good looks.'

Shoes are the same. I have some 4" heels that fit well and are so comfortable that I can, and have worn them all day. Then I have some 2" heels that fit poorly, and I can't wait to get out of them, when I do on rare occasion wear them.

As for the hair, I too have the receding hairline in the front, and some thinning in the back. One of the best things I did when I went to replace my first wig was to go to a wig shop where they recommended a hair piece. This has a small cap that sits on the top of my head, and some clips that clip into the little hair that I have. My natural hair is about the same length as my hairpiece, just below the shoulders, and they got the color match almost perfect. It's very comfortable, and most of the time I don't even realize that I'm wearing it.

The only thing that I have yet to concur is my beard. I do still have to wear quite a bit of foundation and beard cover. But, I still like the knowledge that I can grow a beard or mustache if I want to. I guess I still want to have my cake and eat it too, in that sense.

Grace,
Bobbi

[Jenna Lynne]

I don't have one pair of feminine pants or tops. That reminds me too much of guy mode.
I love skirts, but if you go to the mall and have a look at the shoppers, you'll see maybe 1 woman in 10 (at most) wearing a skirt. Last year I bought a pair of ... I think they're called capris. White pants that end at mid-calf. That length is totally femme, and they can be worn with my cute beaded flat sandals and toenail polish (ditto). It's not my favorite outfit, but it doesn't call attention to me the way a miniskirt would.

Anyway, skirts aren't uncomfortable, so I'm not stressing over skirts. I think Roberta is right about the fit making a huge difference. Honestly, that's one of the reasons why I want a few outfits that blend in -- so I can go shopping and try things on in the store!

[Melinda G]

The wig may be a bit too tight.

I wear mid heels, 2 3/4 inch around the house a lot, to keep my feet and legs conditioned for wearing heels. Then, an inch higher always feels special for going out. I don't wear bras around the house. I like to just wear a thong and a little short house dress and mid heels at home, and no stockings. I'm kind of into that bare and breezy feeling around the house. Then a bra, pantyhose and higher heels feels more dressy when going out. No need for a wig around the house either.

[Janine cd]

I could dress forever if it were possible. The feeling of wearing a bra and panties with a wig and total feminine clothes and makeup is awesome.

[Janine cd]

I discovered how comfortable proper fitting women's shoes can be. I have recently acquired a pair of platform shoes that are so nice that I feel as if I've been introduced to a new level of comfort.

[Pythos]

It is funny. I learned that my GG friend cannot have the waistband of her leggings or tights over her abdomen...it makes her feel sick. She also cannot wear a hat without inducing a head ace after a while.

I love the feel of the control top of my hose around my torso, I find the gentle squeeze to be comfortable. My poor GG could not wear my favorite item being my spandex disco pant from AA. If the control top of my hose is snug, these things are down right tight, but not in a way that is uncomfortable.

I find if funny how she can wear jeans with no issues, but leggings she can't....I wonder if it is all in her head. (she loves leggings but folds the top down in what looks to be a very unflattering manner. She could not do that with the Disco pant)