have ben

[lori m crawford]

have you ben used or made fun of not be cose being a crosserdresser or a transexul but just doing your job i work on cars an usted drive a big truck long hall but i thank it is bad wen close pople that dont know who or what i am going thrue for 55ys an relly dont know me but what let them know as me i know a lot of us are the same way weiar dos it stop us being us an not being what ever body wonts us to be i dont have no body to love no famley but to tell the truth i am cared to be me cose i after all they years i dont what is me or what pople maid me to be

[Annaliese2010]

I understand the spirit of what you're saying and shall respond with song lyrics:

Selling The Drama ~ Live

And to love: a god
And to fear: a flame
And to burn a crowd that has a name
And to right or wrong
And to meek or strong
It is known; just scream it from the wall

I've willed, I've walked, I've read
I've talked, I know, I know,
I've been here before, yeah

Now we won't be raped
Hey, now we won't be scarred like that
Hey, now we won't be raped
Hey, now we won't be scarred like that…

It’s the sun that burns
It’s the wheel that turns
It’s the way we sing that makes 'em dream
And to Christ: a cross
And to me: a chair
I will sit and earn the ransom from up here


Everyone needs one someone to know & love; and in return to be loved and accepted for who you are - just as you are. I guess most ppl find that someone. I haven't yet...so I do indeed understand you. From this distant point on the map, I wish us both good luck and prosperity in the coming new year. Why not huh? Lets Assume it will be so, and with positive expectation be ready and receptive for opportunity...as it comes to all good people...eventually... inevitably... most assurredly!

[sometimes_miss]

Lori, that's difficult to read. But I think I know what you're trying to say, and yes, I'm sure lots of us have gone through being the target of other's humorous remarks at one time or another. Doesn't make it any easier; and it's harder when you have no one to support you and help dismiss other's incorrect perceptions of who and what you are. You can find friends online; not just here, but other social forums as well. There are lots of automotive forums, I'm a member of several, and have made lots of friends online. Pick any vehicle and/or type, there are Ford mustang forums and Citroen forums, and forums for people who like mini Coopers. There are even forums for professional mechanics, if you can't find them, send me a message and I will try to help you. There are probably even local support groups for crossdressers in your area if you wish to just meet others who share this particular characteristic with you. It's all out there; and you can find it online.

[t-girlxsophie]

Be True to yourself Lori,dont let Ignorant ppl change you in any way,You have decided to follow your own path,no one has the right to tell you its wrong

:hugs:Sophie

[Michelle Crossfire]

your posting is very difficult to read and follow. i think i know what you are trying to say, but am not sure so i don't know what to say to you. sorry

[lori m crawford]

that is ok but all i wont to be loved as person as a women wood i have 4 xs an not non of talk to me till they wont some thing from me money work on ther cars or some thing i am tard of it all i is to be loved

[Christy_M]

If I am reading this right, you are saying that you are not clear on who is the real you. Maybe you feel as though you have developed a big fake persona to deal with the fem issues you have had for 50 plus years. Is this right?

If so, I can totally relate. I have been through quite a bit at an early age and I know the macho male persona I present is not the real me. If you can't talk with anyone like family or friends about it, there are programs that might be able to provide free or low cost therapy. I know that my shirink has done a great job helpoing me understand myself. I am not "fixed" yet but I do feel better about myself. There are also plenty of people here who you might be able to talk with.

[Michelle Crossfire]

4 ex's? only talk to you when they want something? all i can say to that is that seems to be how ex's are. I have an ex and if i owned stock in Preparation H, i would be a millionaire right now thanks to her. In order to be loved by other people, you need to love yourself first and be confident in how you present yourself, whether en femme or not. right now, it appears as if you are allowing yourself to be used and you have finally had enough. You need to live for yourself, and not other people. I use a little saying when someone wants to criticize me. it may come across as sarcastic to some, but i sometimes say "it is my life, i was given the job of being me, as i was the only qualified person for the job. if i did not qualify for the job, i would be someone else, and only i know what i am thinking at any given time, or what i am feeling. No one else knows you better than you. So my advice to you is live for yourself, love yourself and the rest should fall into line. Let me know how it works for you.

[ReineD]

Lori, I understand what you're saying. After so many years of trying to live up to the expectations you feel that others place on you, it's scary for you to feel free to be who you are.

Have you ever thought of joining a crossdresser support group? You could be yourself there. My SO joined a group when she began to develop the CDing years ago, and she attended the meetings for some years before she became confident enough to develop her wings and fly. She made friends there, and also she knew that she wasn't alone.

You could google to see if there is a group in your area. :hugs:

[Joanne f]

It can be very difficult and depressing when dew to circumstances like friends, job and family not being able to accept what you do or who you are , sometimes some of us are put into a position that we have to make a choice and also just the fact that you feel that you are pushed into having to make a choice adds to this depression and we all want to be loved especially loved for who we are .
Do what you enjoy doing and in time someone will see you as the real you and love you for it .