Pressure

[Elizabeth Ann]

For those of us who are not out, or completely out: Have you ever had someone who has learned of your crossdressing pressure you for sex? Not just compliments or even flirting, but something that feels more like blackmail. Maybe that is too strong of a word. It is nothing explicit or direct. More like, there has been a power shift in the relationship and you have the uneasy feeling that he is tempted to exercise this new found power.

Then again, this may just be what GG's have to put up with all the time. Lack of experience makes it hard to interpret what is going on.

Liz

[Davina-Alba]

No I have never had anyone pressure me or "blackmail" me for sex but I have formed a sexual relationship with some of those who have known about me or found out about me. I suppose I can see how it might happen where someone I didn't "fancy" tried it on but that has never happened and as you say I suppose GGs must get a lot of that.

[Karren H]

I have talked to crossdressers who have had that happen.. But I've never had that... I'm still waiting for my wife to blackmail me for sex... Sigh...

[Jennie1975]

I haven't had anybody "blackmail" me for sex. I will tell you tho that since I have been going out dressed I have had quite a few men hit on me knowing I am a crossdresser. I have one in mind, we were sitting in a bar he approched me sat next to me and compliments started. I was flattered. Then I feel a hand on my thigh, well I am bi, so no big deal right. Well his hand started rubbing, then proceeded to slide higher and higher. I would slide it back to my knee only to have it make it's way back up my thigh. Several times this happened until I slid it back turned to him and in a soft tone of voice let him know I was a good girl and I did not approve of that. Well he got the point, he saved face and I was comfortable again. I have to say I now know what women have been dealing with for years.

[Misty G]

I have had a lot of come ons but not like you are talking about had a guy stalking me for about a year a few years ago but keep ignoring him and he eventually went away. I am not into men at all.

[MiraM]

I have talked to crossdressers who have had that happen.. But I've never had that... I'm still waiting for my wife to blackmail me for sex... Sigh...

Now I have to clean the coffee of my monitor.

[Loni]

no body would dare do such. as any know me i would never stand for that.

as a kid if another kid was hosing me down with the garden hose. i would just walk right up to them take it from them and shove it down there pants.

and i was the runt of the runts a 50 - 60 pound underling. did not even top 90 pounds till 10th grade.

blackmail me for anything including sex......never going to happen.

but if she is cute..maybe.

[linda allen]

................. blackmail me for anything including sex......never going to happen.

but if she is cute..maybe.

What if he is cute? :heehee:

[GaleWarning]

I wonder, Elizabeth Ann, if any of these replies addresses what I perceive to be the unstated part of your OP.
(What to do about it.)

I felt as though I had been raped. The episode destroyed a perfectly good friendship. Shame, really.
So perhaps you might walk away before anything happens.

[sandra-leigh]

In the time before my wife knew about my cross-dressing, I was potentially vulnerable in that respect, but I think I would have refused and lived with the consequences (e.g., having my dressing revealed.) I have a secrecy clearance and so anything unorthodox I do is potentially blackmail material, but I at least believe that I'd take my lumps before compromising any of the secrets I hold.

Now that my wife has known for years, and now that I gender-bend in all kinds of places except for outright wearing skirts or dresses to work, the only remaining threat would be someone telling my workplace. If they were to do that, they'd be doing me a favour :heehee: . I have already investigated and found that organizational policies permit (and would protect) cross-dressing but I have not taken open advantage of that: I think people at work would be pretty okay with it, but the temporary loss of productivity for the 1/2 hour or whatever that the news went around the building would be held against me, I suspect. But if someone else were to take the matter to my workplace, I wouldn't have been the one that triggered the stir.


I think probably the great majority of people have something they would prefer not be brought out publicly. How many of us have no "toys" or erotic magazines or porn movies or fetish clothes or nude pictures of ourselves or are SO's? A simple picture of a phallic toy, with proof it was in our possession, could get people fired in an At Will State under the theory that the company doesn't want to put up with the trouble and cost of "shielding" an employee in case a "straight morals" group complained. Not that half the company didn't have their own or more: the offense can be in allowing oneself to get caught doing what lots of other people do behind closed doors. Yet, I don't suspect that many people bother to literally lock their "toys" up, not beyond maybe a nuisance padlock to keep the children out.

[donnalee]

That's simply extortion of the worst kind; a friend would never do that. The easiest way to deal with it is to deflect it in some way, such as repeatedly failing to understand the insinuations (my SO used her foriegn birth to effect by telling them "no english" whenever she was hassled); eventually the extorter will get frustrated and give up. That "friendship" needs serious re-evaluation. Unfortunatly, a lot of our "friends" are merely what I like to refer to as "close acquaintenances" and should not be trusted. :sad:

[Chickhe]

I would do a 'Letterman'. I put up for no nonsense. Never had it happen, but when out at a party someone we met who read me said he would have to bump and grind with me on the dance floor anyway because he thought I was hot... it was a joke, but he didn't run away. Scary thought having to fend anyone off...

[eluuzion]

Not just compliments or even flirting, but something that feels more like blackmail. Maybe that is too strong of a word. It is nothing explicit or direct.
Liz

warning...soapbox rambling just ahead...alternate routes advised...:o

http://www.dramabutton.com


“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

“Always be sure that the person your acquaintances know as “you”, is a person that you would want them to “profile”, should they ever become your “enemies”.” (simply put…”BE” that person).

Most people are not comfortable after reading those statement. It suggests a character and life built on deception and paranoia. Particularly to those that are “concrete thinkers” (all or nothing, black or white, on or off).

Others have a life perspective that suggests there are always “options” in every circumstance that requires making decisions for action. In this case, one option is to view those statements as an “insurance policy”. It is not a “mandate” of inflexibility, but simply an option to be selectively applied when entering precarious adventures requiring interaction with people of questionable ethics and character.

As in most issues of this nature, those (concrete thinkers) who instinctively justify “knives” but condemn “gun owners”, quickly change their tune when they find themselves facing the reality of a “gunfight“. :daydreaming:

With the understanding that what follows…assumes the “options” perspective in life…

The “B” word is a word that should only be verbalized in a courtroom, or exist in written form in a legal file of a licensed attorney. Because people do not see it as a word, they see it as a “crime”. A “betrayal for profit”, so to speak. That is why it (should) only be visible as an “inexplicit or indirect” implication, and always as a “vague“, reference.

That little “rule” contains some hidden value. The value being that when the “rule” is broken, you can confidently assume that you are dealing with an amateur. “Pros” do not make foolish mistakes unless they are made intentionally (for the purpose of misdirection).

If you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of having ignored the logic contained in the first two statements of this post…you still have options. The ship carrying all of your “ideal” options has already sailed, and you decided not to board it. You are on the ship of fools. It is time to face the ugliness of reality and act accordingly.

Honorable thinking has no value on the ship you are on. Once you determine that you are dealing with people of questionable character, the primary goal becomes “damage control”. It requires a different strategy. You simply view the future by assuming the worst case scenarios will occur and the goal is to disable the fuses of all threats. The best way to prevent a fire is to control the matches, or make sure they are too watered down to ignite.

Most people instinctively think “gathering dirt” on your opponent will effectively equalize the balance of power or tilt the scales in their favor. That strategy rarely produces the desired results. If anything, it escalates the risk by openly declaring “war” against your opposition, who then becomes determined to “win”. You have created a battle when the goal was to avoid one.

The better option is to “diffuse” the situation using dis-information. If he/she has a “gun”, and the potential to shoot you using bullets he/she steals from you, the goal is obvious…

Start leaving as many of your bullets around as you possibly can for him to “steal”. Just make sure they are all pre-loaded blanks. It is a routine strategy used repeatedly in television mysteries to expose the evil plot of a perpetrator trying to frame an innocent “victim”. Nothing is more effective in destroying credibility than watching a loser trying to shoot somebody with blank bullets…:heehee:

This information is just whimsical thought applied to hypothetical situations, most of which is just stuff I “overheard” on the street. I am a law abiding citizen and always focus on honesty and charitable action, like helping the elderly cross the street and singing in church choirs. I am not smart enough to devise devious plans. I occasionally share things I hear, because it is amusing…I am actually a very good boy…(if anybody happens to ask you, lol) hehehehe :D:battingeyelashes::D

that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it...:heehee:

hey, I warned you about the babbling approaching at the beginning, eh? :)

:love:

[t-girlxsophie]

A well placed knee in the happy sack,would cure them of any notions of Blackmail,remember too they would have some difficult questions to answer as to why they were chatting up a Crossdresser

:hugs:Sophie

[Bootsiegalore]

I have talked to crossdressers who have had that happen.. But I've never had that... I'm still waiting for my wife to blackmail me for sex... Sigh...

That is tooooooo FUNNY!

I love your posts! If you ever come to Arizona I want to buy you lunch! You are a riot!

Rachel

[Megan Thomas]

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

I so agree with the above - never better advice IMHO :)

[suit]

watching a loser trying to shoot somebody with blank bullets…

but remember the gas coming from a blank at close rang will bore a hole as nasty as the lead it was desighned to push

[eluuzion]

herow Misstah suit..


Ahhaw, gwasshoppa, you barewey smaut coukee, but you fall into twap u seff!

We-weed the paut wit gun avice….it say you r wauchin gun been shot, not you actchuauhwee vicum been shotted…

U stil wok away frweee gwasshoppa, but unfourtunatuttly, vicum will knot...

wemembra ...diffowent boat...diffowent ruus...:o

U jus’ make goood zample of point I make in my post witout U no it…

“Touchee” my frwend…

:hugs:

:love: