I have a 5 5 5 question.

[JennyA]

I worked on a steamboat cruiseship and when you arrived on the boat for the first time they had a 5 5 5 system. What do you need to know within 5 hours, 5 days, and 5 weeks. It was a great way to break people in to a lot of information and make sure they knew the basics right away.

I decided last year to transition as soon as I could make it work. I'm getting close to having my living and financial situation in order to start the journey.

When the day comes that I say yes Jennifer today you start for real. What should I do in the first 5 hours and days? Weeks I'm not so concerned with.

I need a psychiatrist right so that I can get hormones and years later the SRS?

Thanks.
Jen

If I may ask, what did some of you ladies do on the first day that you really truly decided to go all the way.

[Jorja]

First 5 hours - pray

First 5 days - pray

First 5 weeks - pray

[Faith_G]

Excellent advice from Jorja. In addition to that I offer these:

5 hours: Emotionally and mentally release everything in your life. Your job, your friends, your family, your life savings, the respect and approval of others, you need to let go of all of that. You might lose all of it and you have to be OK with that. Being fully prepared to lose it all actually puts you in a stronger position to keep it.

5 days: Confidence is the most important thing when out in public, and you probably won't be very confident at first. I wasn't. So you gotta fake it. Head up, shoulders back, smile, eye contact. You ARE a woman and you belong here (wherever that is). After you've got some "seat time" you really will be confident, but until then just act confident.

5 weeks: Don't give up.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm with Faith on the first two points.

What I did on the first day was get up, shower, breakfast, do my make-up, put on business-like skirt & top with all the trimmimgs and go to work. Might not sound like much, but it was a wonderful day because I didn't have to pretend to be a man any longer.

[Jorja]

First 5 hours - pray

First 5 days - pray

First 5 weeks - pray

I did not mean to make a mockery of your question. My answer was just what struck me at the time. My warped little mind works like that sometimes. :)

I don’t feel that you have given us enough background information as to your present situation. Are you seeing a therapist? If not you will need one to help you deal with the changes mentally as you start to live full time as a woman. Do you have a support system set up? Whose shoulder are you going to cry on when some homophobic jerk destroys your self confidence? Who is going to tell you to pull up those big girl panties, get dressed and go out to face the world the next day? This is what it takes you know. Have you talked with your employer to set in place a plan for your transition on the job or are you just going to show up for work one day as a woman? Having a plan is really the best way to go. There are many more questions like this that must be considered.

[CharleneT]

I worked on a steamboat cruiseship and when you arrived on the boat for the first time they had a 5 5 5 system. What do you need to know within 5 hours, 5 days, and 5 weeks. It was a great way to break people in to a lot of information and make sure they knew the basics right away.

I decided last year to transition as soon as I could make it work. I'm getting close to having my living and financial situation in order to start the journey.

When the day comes that I say yes Jennifer today you start for real. What should I do in the first 5 hours and days? Weeks I'm not so concerned with.

I need a psychiatrist right so that I can get hormones and years later the SRS?

Thanks.
Jen

If I may ask, what did some of you ladies do on the first day that you really truly decided to go all the way.

You do not need a Psychiatrist, except maybe near the end for a second opinion (needed for a surgery letter). What you do need is a regular therapist - and an electroligist! Faith's answer is great, but I'll pose a slightly different question for you:

what do I need 5 days before, 5 weeks before and 5 months before I transition ?

As for my first day (I'm assuming you mean first day of full time), I got up, got dressed and went to work.

[Hope]

I love that 555 idea as a way to organize an on-boarding procedure, and it would work for ANY sort of on-boarding process - be it a steam ship, or a new gig, or a new path in life. Will keep in mind.

But on to your question:


5 hours: Emotionally and mentally release everything in your life. Your job, your friends, your family, your life savings, the respect and approval of others, you need to let go of all of that. You might lose all of it and you have to be OK with that. Being fully prepared to lose it all actually puts you in a stronger position to keep it.


I think Faith's 5 hours is pretty spot on - and I know it gets tossed around a lot here as if this is somehow transition specific. I have come to a place where I think that this is not a transition specific sort of issue. I think this is a great way to live one's life. If we are not willing to loose something, then we are giving that thing or that person control over our lives. If you want to be a healthy, free person, follow Faith's 5 hours. The only thing I would add to Faith's 5 hours - is this - make an appointment with a therapist. Do some google searching, or get a referral from a friend or doctor, and make an appointment with a therapist who deals with gender issues (if possible) in your area (or outside of your area if you are afraid of having people see you). Do this. It is critical.

5 Days? From the get-go? Pick something overtly femme that will make a statement to the world - something that feels right to you, something that you are maybe a little nervous about, but something that you are eager to try. Start carrying a purse, or paint your nails, or get your hair done, have your ears pierced, or wear a pair of girl jeans, play with make-up, whatever it is. Do it, get started. DO SOMETHING. Keep the momentum going. The first time out the door with something new is the hardest by far. Soon you will think nothing of whatever it is that you picked, and you will be ready to add something else.

5 weeks. You should be seeing your therapist. Your Laser tech / electrologist. After a while you will need to be thinking about coming out to friends and family, work... though these are more long term than 5 weeks.

5 months you should be thinking about hormones, and if they are right for you or not. You will work that out with your therapist. You will be considering going full time - or not and putting a date on that possibly (I have been at this for 2 years now and i haven't put a date on full time or started hormones yet, but I have extenuating circumstances) Work at your own pace on these things.

At some point in this time-frame you will start to notice male privilege, and you will have to come to terms with loosing it. The plus side is right around the same time you will start to be embraced by the female community.

I think one of the biggest things is that while we can all provide you with guidance on what you should be doing - the choices are ultimately up to you and how far you want to go and what you want to accomplish. Not everyone needs SRS, not everyone needs hormones, not every one needs laser / electro. Not everyone needs to even dress if they don't feel that it is right for them. But everyone needs to see a therapist - make that appointment today if you haven't already. It really is the first step if you are serious about this and want to do it responsibly.

[MJ]

Excellent advice from Jorja. In addition to that I offer these:

5 hours: Emotionally and mentally release everything in your life. Your job, your friends, your family, your life savings, the respect and approval of others, you need to let go of all of that. You might lose all of it and you have to be OK with that. Being fully prepared to lose it all actually puts you in a stronger position to keep it.

5 days: Confidence is the most important thing when out in public, and you probably won't be very confident at first. I wasn't. So you gotta fake it. Head up, shoulders back, smile, eye contact. You ARE a woman and you belong here (wherever that is). After you've got some "seat time" you really will be confident, but until then just act confident.

5 weeks: Don't give up.

best answer yet

and be happy all the best