GG shop assistants that deliberately humiliate you.

[heathr1]

I had 3 at the same time while buying a lipstick.

Another time, 2 while looking at skirts.

Hs this happened to you?

[Sharon]

I had 3 at the same time while buying a lipstick.

Another time, 2 while looking at skirts.

Hs this happened to you?

What do they do to you? I just get treated like any other customer when I purchase fem items.
If I did feel humiliated for any reason at all, I would simply leave and take my business elsewhere.

[Lisa Maren]

I'm sorry to hear you were treated that way.

I suppose you could say something nasty to them like "Don't hate me because my makeup's better than yours." or "You know what? My wig's better looking than your real hair."

Naw, seriously, I would also simply take my business somewhere else. Why? First, you have to ask yourself if you want to make a scene or take your business elsewhere. Second, if you do decide to stand up to the skanks, you need to consider whether you're at the point where you can demand to see their manager and pretty much fight for yourself or admit loudly, "Why yes, it *is* for me, darling! By the way, where'd you buy that luscious lipstick?"

I'm not at that point yet, so for me, I'll just go somewhere else -- or try a diffrerent day to see if I can simply avoid their shift.

Hugs,
Lisa

[Sophie_A]

I got read whilst buying some gorgeous pink and black underwear set, tried claiming they were for the girlfriend, and you could see the assistant visually measure me, and then wink to her collegue. Oh well who cares, they feel great and look fab.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Your money is just as good as anyone else's. Take it up with the store manager, who should set them straight. If the manager won't do it, take your business elsewhere.

[Jonien]

I had 3 at the same time while buying a lipstick.

Another time, 2 while looking at skirts.

Hs this happened to you?

Hi Heathr...
perhaps if you were showing signs of embarisment, young girls will pick up on this,,,
some shops employ part time girls at weekends with no training or experience...

I find a more direct approch like can you help me I am looking for ect ect you are then there customer and thay no longer see a male thay see you

[Lisa Golightly]

Never had a problem. Had some wonderful smiles and a few indifferent Mrs Slocombe snooty looks down the nose. It really shouldn't happen and if it does ask to see the manager and make a complaint. Sounds to me that you've come across some bullying types and people like that don't deserve a job; don't let them win.

[Rachel Ann]

I have never had a problem with a salesperson. In fact, many of them go out of their way to be nice to me, even when I'm shopping in drab.

GG shoppers, on the other hand, sometimes give me the hairy eyeball. Especially when I am looking through bras or something like that. Basically, I ignore them. Nobody has screamed or complained to the management, so far.

[DanaJ]

heathr, answer to your question - no...... if they tried that I would look them in the eye and embarrass them back. heathr honey - you are repeating yourself. You asked this same question earlier: Have you ever had a sales assistant in a shop deliberately embarrass you? (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8780)

You haven't run out of questions to ask, have you? :)

[Amelia Moxon]

I've posted this here before, but i was trying on some boots and shoes in Brantano, with the intention to buy I might add, I wasn't just trying them on because I felt like it. I had just slipped off a pair of kitten heel ankle boots and put the box back on the shelf, I turned round and there was a shop assistant stood there with a security guard!! Not a pleasant experience at all. I gave them both an evil look and left (I spent my money at Evans where the staff are always lovely towards me). If they do humiliate you just give them "the look" and walk out of the shop with your head held high to show them you aren't embarrassed.

Hugs
Michelle xxx

[GypsyKaren]

I got read once at the drug store, but she was real sweet about it, so it didn't bother me. If someone gave you a bad time shopping I certainly wouldn't go there anymore. I expect to be treated with courtesy and be helped, no matter how I'm dressed.

GypsyKaren

[Deidra Cowen]

I've never had a GG store sales person give me any trouble. In fact at places like the MAC store here in Atlanta a couple of the girls know me and will ask where I'm going the coming weekend and all that. They are very sweet, seem to get a kick out of the fact there is a bit of a Tgirl social circuit here and I just about buy anything they recommend since they are so friendly. I go shopping enfemme cause I'm not embarrashed at all...but I admit when I sneak in to buy stuff in drab I get those old butterfly feelings and become nervous. :eek:

I have recently had postive experiences at a drug store I go to and at the Nordstrums near my place. My only really negative exp I wrote about when I first joined the forum. While in drab and getting my foundation matched a big shaved headed redneck leared at me. But i kept on with the shop clerk that was about as freaked as me and got my makeup!!! ;)

[Katie Lynn]

It might have happened behind my back, but I have never had anything said or done to me. The only even wierd feeling was when 2 older sales associates at Dillards were both staring me down while I was shopping in the juniors section, I was in drab mode, and was honestly shopping for my g/f.

It wouldnt bother me though. I am an asshole as a man, and can be an equal bitch as a woman. Its not wise to get on my bad side because I would go off on any sales associate that thought they were better than me for any reason. I have got to the point where I am not easily embarrased even when dressed, and would have no problem bringing attention to myself and the surrounding conversation. Plus once I spoke to the manager, my guess would be there would be some discount given to make up for the immaturity of the associates...and if thats the case, cheaper clothes is well worth it :D lol

[Kimberly]

Thank God this hasn't happened to me!!! Some of these stories sound really terrible! :(

[Jodi]

I have never had a problem with any sales associate. While in drab, about 4 years ago, an older sales woman gave me the look and body language of disapproval when I asked to try on a sweater. I smiled and asked--"Is there a problem?" She then mumbled something. I just said that I guess my money is no good in this store, I'll shop elsewhere. She grinned and I said--By the Way. Where is your manager? Her grin quickly faded as she pointed to the woman across the store. I thanked her, walked over the the manager, explained the situation with a smile. The manager asked me to please try on the sweater, but I refused and said I'd shop elsewhere. As I was leaving, I noted the manager glaring at the associate. I'm sure something was said after I left.

Jodi

[Katrina]

So far nobody has given me any grief. I'm sure I've been read (while in drab mode) by both sales people and customers. Whenever I'm looking at shoes I'm sure people know since no self-respecting woman would ever let her SO have all the fun of shoe shopping. I just don't care anymore - I love shoe shopping!

[susandrea]

If you're brave enough, ask then for the name and phone number of the owner ot the District Manager (not just the manager) or for their Head Office.

Then ask them for their names.

The more polite you are when you ask, the scarier it is. :eek:

[Lauren_T]

Never had a problem....Ya, Lisa, but you must remember, most of us aren't accustomed to rose petals strewn in our path, as some are...
:D

[Billijo49504]

This morning, OOOOPs!, It's Friday already, Thursday morning I went into a Dot's Store, just to look. The clerk came over to me and said Hi, Can I help you find anything? And are you shopping for someone else or for yourself. I told her it was for me. She showed me several skirts, of which I got one, then she showed me a top to go with it and a sash to accent the outfit. From a window shopper, I was a $50 sale. Basicly because of her atitude. And I will shop there again. Besides, their prices were very good.

[Lauren_T]

This morning, OOOOPs!, It's Friday already, Thursday morning I went into a Dot's Store, just to look. The clerk came over to me and said Hi, Can I help you find anything? And are you shopping for someone else or for yourself. I told her it was for me. She showed me several skirts, of which I got one, then she showed me a top to go with it and a sash to accent the outfit. From a window shopper, I was a $50 sale. Basicly because of her atitude. And I will shop there again. Besides, their prices were very good.And, if you're the letter-writing sort, why not drop a line to management / owners and let them know that you (and the people you've shared this with) appreciate their progressive attitude? :cool:

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

And, if you're the letter-writing sort, why not drop a line to management / owners and let them know that you (and the people you've shared this with) appreciate their progressive attitude? :cool:

Definitely. Just because you may be in the closet doesn't mean you can't be active under a psuedonym.

TSs may be the one who are the most openly politically active (since they don't have any where to hide), but CDs wield much more economic power. There's a lot more of us and unlike TSs we're not saving all our extra money for hormones and surgery. I'm not sure how openly retailers acknowledge our market, but certainly a number do seem to be well aware of our purchasing power.

So definitely reward the good folks as well as let the not-so-good folks know they're losing out on potential sales. Greed is a great motivator for tolerance. ;)

[Crystal Harmony]

I havent had it happen to me yet,thank god,moneys money theses days,if they dont want to be nice then we go some where else,simple as that.

[Stormgirl]

Hhmm,now Im never going to shop unless its online

[gender_blender]

I had 3 at the same time while buying a lipstick.

Another time, 2 while looking at skirts.

Hs this happened to you?

They can only humiliate you if you allow them do so.
You, the customer, have the power. Ask to speak to their manager or even report them to a higher official, but be completely honest.


Charlie

[Imogen_Mann]

Hey.... is it out of order to mention that... "some people pay for that kind of thing" Humilation at the hands of female shop assistants could become quite the in thing with the submission and humiliation crowd :o


On a more sensible note.... If they laugh or snigger, fix them with a cold eye and ask them what the joke is ? If they cant answer, ask them to call thier supervisor or floor manager over.... because they should be in on the joke too and they might be able to explain it maybe ?, when the boss arrives, demand that a formal note of your complaint is made(with time date and your name)..., take the names and ID of the idiots yourself, go home and write a long detailed letter of complaint to the HR department, CC your letter to the shop manager, area manager, regional manager MD and directors of the company. In your letter, demand action is taken and insist you are informed of what the outcome is.

See if they laugh quite so much after thier disciplinary hearings ?

Fu*k 'em !

XX

Jayme.

[DeniseNY]

Girl, you can only be as humiliated as you let yourself be. You don't have to takke that abuse. You can either walk out if you do not want to create a scene, or you can complain to their manager if you want to create some waves. But the bottom line is that MONEY SPEAKS LOUDER THEN WORDS. If you are not treated like the princess you are, take your business (and your money) elsewhere.

Just remember this and say it to yourself: "You will not disrespect THIS princess!"

And act accordingly.

Much love, girlfriend!!!

[Stephenie]

Would you put up with it if they were making fun of your SO? Then why if they are doing it to you. Also if you shop at a place where they work on comission then they treat everyone like a princess.

[ladyfydiana]

I have never had a problem buying my clothes and any store.Usually its the opposite,they go out of their way to help.I went to buy a wig at a local shop and when I asked the lady how much was the one I was looking at.She said $140 when I said that was a little more than I wanted to spend.She told me of another store that buys quality wigs in bulk and I should be able to get a deal.Well she was right,I bought a great wig,with 20% off for $45. The next day I went back and thanked her and asked her about washing and caring for my wig.She was very helpfull and I even bought a wig stand from her.

[Susan Walker]

I was at Ross for Less recently and bought two bras in drab. One was a 38DD and the other was a lot smaller. That was all I took up to the counter. I was really expecting a comment. Didn't get one.

Once I bought a pink skirt. Took it too the counter. The cashier asked me if I needed some cute socks or even shoes to go with the skirt. I told her I thought I would wear white tennis shoes with the skirt and I already had some cute socks. (I was the only one checking out at the time.) I told her whenever I put it on I'd take a picture for her...She said she would rather I come visit her in the store with it on.

I have seen some look at me and want to say something but so far I think they saw an "attitude" that they didn't want to challenge.

[bulmabriefs144]

I don't buy much in the way of clothes, cause I still live at home, but one time I bought dilapitories [sp?] at a Roses. Nobody made a comment, they were just so out of touch with customers, they rung it up and said "next."

[Marla GG]

The diversity of crossdressers and their motivations never ceases to amaze me. At some forums I've visited, the members would have eagerly jumped in to relate their most humiliating shopping experiences, real or fictional. But here they jumped in to give advice about shopping with dignity. Which were you hoping for, heathr? ;)

[MichelleGray502]

Never had any problems with gg saleladies either and in most cases they are usually very nice and helpful towards us. we are people as well and our money is just as good as gg's money and most owners of women's clothes,cosmetics, shops want to make money and will treat all customers as equal as people like to teated no matter who buying what for anyone. my simple advice towards mean gg saleladies that give you evil eye and looked at your funny just walk out of 'th shop and while doing so just say i will my business else where they will treat me right.

[MistyCD]

This morning, OOOOPs!, It's Friday already, Thursday morning I went into a Dot's Store, just to look. The clerk came over to me and said Hi, Can I help you find anything? And are you shopping for someone else or for yourself. I told her it was for me. She showed me several skirts, of which I got one, then she showed me a top to go with it and a sash to accent the outfit. From a window shopper, I was a $50 sale. Basicly because of her atitude. And I will shop there again. Besides, their prices were very good.


Congrats on shopping at Dots, they are one of the most friendly CD stores out in the world. I have bought half of my outfits from them. Unfortunately for me the one close by lost its lease and I now have to travel 20 miles to shop at a sister store...

Hugs Misty

[Sweet Jeanette]

They "giggle" at me! My wife always goes with me. But, - when I ask, they always bring me a new style or size to try on, when I ask!

[Khriss]

I'd amitt ,real store shopping has allways been a timing thing for me ;ie shopping for certain "things" aound Christmas,Valentines Day,,or Halloween always caused less confusion on clerks faces ... though buying size 12 pumps at Ross in Phoenix raised some eyebrows but I live about 200 miles away so screw it hehe !? Ebay has worked nicely for me...lately - xx"K" I once handed a clerk at the makeup counter a list and said I'm kinda embarrased but my Moms been ill and needs these things? Could You Help me please ?.... She was glad to ..seemed to enjoy helping and I gave her a greatful,,, Thank You So much miss ! , she smiled and replied "Anytime We can help" a nice experience realy -

[Krystal Lee]

Only one really imbarrassing time and I did talk to the manager. She however was one of the perpetrators. I do not shop in that store now.

We do not have to put up with that kind of thing, and I have found if I call ahead and ask to try things on, it smooths over the rough spots before I get into the store.

Good luck with your shopping in the future. Hugs Krystal.