Almost Felt "Normal"

[Tricia Lee]

I was on my way to the IXE (CD support group) Christmas party in Indianapolis last Saturday. I stopped at a large and somewhat busy supermarket to buy somethings for the pitch-in dinner. I was wearing a denim jacket with a ruffled white shell underneath, a flowing calf-length skirt in fall colors, and black knee-high boots with a 2" heel. Some people smiled at me as I shopped, and I'm sure I was read many times. Still, no one made any overt sign of having read me.

With my items picked out, I headed for the check-out lines. This is when I always get nervous! There were no self-scan lines, it was all face-to-face with cashiers. I picked a line with as few people with as few items as possible. There was a guy paying and another woman in line in front of me.

So as I get in line, I pick up a magazine and try to become invisible. It wasn't to be.

As soon as the woman in front of me stepped up to the cashier, she turned to me and asked if I had one of the discount cards issued by the store, and if I did, could she borrow it? I smiled, pulled the card out of my purse, and handed it to her. She just smiled back, used the card, and gave it back to me. When she was done she thanked me again in a really nice way!

When it was my turn to pay, the young and cute girl at the register just smiled and was very nice. I'm sure she had to have read me. There was a high school age bag boy there who bagged my things and put them in my cart. I don't think he knew what was going on.

As I was leaving I was desperate to turn around and see if they were staring at me. I kept my cool and looked ahead while walking toward the exit. Judging by the reflection in the window as I left there wasn't much of a disturbance in my wake. :)

It was really cool to shop in a crowded store like that, and not have an problems! The only thing I can't figure out is why I wasn't doing it 20 years ago. Guess it was a different time then, and maybe I would have gotten a worse reaction then. Who knows? I do know I want to do a lot more shopping like that from now on.

[Rianna Humble]

Well done Tricia. You say you think the girl at the register had to have read you, but don't be so sure! Most people will respond to the visual cues that they receive and yours were probably just right (e..g smiling back at the woman who borrowed your card).

[noeleena]

Hi,

Sounds cool to me . good for you . 20 years ago yes a very different time . & no i would no way have done it . mind you 13 years ago was soon enough for me . As you gain convidence in your self you will just be talking to many of those people as tho , hey no probs.

...noeleena...

[Misty G]

Glad you had a nice experience. I go shopping dressed all the time and never have a problem.

[Roberta Marie]

Tricia,

Sounds like you had a good experience. When I'm out, I know that I do not pass, and quit trying long ago. Now I try mostly to blend in, get lost in the background noise, so to speak. I suspect that the cashier and bagger were too busy working, taking care of their customers, to really care how you were dressed, as long as there are no problems.

The best advice that I got before I first went out is, "Head up, boobs out, and walk tall and proud." If you act like you belong there, people will generally treat you like you belong there. If you act like you are ashamed to be there, like you're sneaking around, then people will treat you with suspicion. So, be proud of who you are.

Grace,
Bobbi

[insearchofme]

How was the party?

[Tricia Lee]

Oh! It was great! There were 18 or 20 people there. Made some new friends and had some really nice conversations. There was a gift exchange, but I didn't stay for that. Wanted to get home at a decent hour, and still wanted to do some shopping on the way home.

Have you ever been to an IXE event?

I also attached a pic of me from IXE's November meeting last month. We met at English Ivy's restaurant. That night was a lot of fun too. That picture might give you some idea of how passable I may or may not be. Sheesh, I need to lose some weight! :)

[Starla]

Show that pic to 100 people, and 99 1/2 will immediately say "girl." You look terrific, and perfectly natural.

[Sarah Doepner]

Show that pic to 100 people, and 99 1/2 will immediately say "girl." You look terrific, and perfectly natural.

What she said!

[LeannL]

So why did you put up a picture of your sister? :)

A month ago, I had a similar experience in a Sally's Beauty Supply and the young lady in front of me had left her card at home. So I offered to let her use mine. The cashier was fine with it and thanked me for doing so. Yes I was en femme at the time. Just one woman helping out another. We have to stick together!

Leann

[Tricia Lee]

Thanks for the compliments!

When I look in the mirror I usually feel good about how I look. Pictures are a different story. Seems like I look horrible in at least half the pictures taken of me. Hopefully the mirror reflection version is what other people tend to see :)

But yea, the original point of my post was that despite how thrilling it is to be out in public, once I'd left the store it really did seem like a normal thing. That might have been a first for me.

[joanna marie]

All I can see when I look at your picture is "Girl"

[Rogina B]

As some of us continue to tell the closet crowd...Most likely,no one is going to light the torches,grab the pitchforks and scream"GET THAT TRANNIE". Head up,boobs out,and you belong there as well!

[Paula Siemen]

I had a similar experience last weekend. I was out shopping at the mall to piuck up gift for my wife. I knew exactly what I was after and what store in the mall to go to buy it. I did not know where this particular store was located in the mall tho. I was dressed in a long tan ultr-suede skirt whith a black crossover top, a tan somewhay Indian looking belt and tan, suede ancle high boots with 3" heels. I felt I was looking pretty fem and felt very confident. I figured I knew where the store was located and it was just inside the mall adjacent to Nordstoms. After orbiting the parking garage for an eternity, I finally found a spot and parked, walked a 1/4 mile into Nordstroms and through to the mall. The store and mall hall were very busy with Christmas shoppers and I didn't notice and peculiar looks, so I just kept clicking my heels though the store, then the mall.

When I arrived at Ann Taylor and asked the SA where the particular item was, she replied they did not have that, but to look at AT Loft. As aythis point I was a little shaken, having to trek the mall some distance in full fem, with soooooooo many people there, I was sure I would become a spectacle. I thought, well if I don't go for the gigt it will be sold out and I will be SOL for finding a suitable gift. So I arched my back and lifted up my breast and began the trek through the mall and the shopping throngs. I followed the SA's irections, but did not find the Loft, so I figured it must be further. I walked all the way down one side and turned the corner. There was a Victoria Secrete. Couldn't resist anf had to stop to browse and ask an SA for new directions to the Loft. She provided directions back the way from where I came, I also checked out the bras and panties, but they were not on Ms Santa's list. I then walked back from where I came and still could not find the loft. I then went into the Disney Store an asked the greeter if he knew where the Loft was located to which he replied, but the security guard across the hall would be able to help. Again, I arched my back and lifted my breast and walked over to the security guard. Just then anonther security guard, a female, walked up and began talking the the other guard. I politely asked the female guard if she could direct me to the Loft and she very nicely gave me directions, back the way I originally came to the Loft. I thanked her and was off on my way.

Finally, I found the Loft, found the merchandise, but not the correct size:( I asked a SA if she could check to see if there was one in the back; NO. I asked her if she could check other stores for that particular item in the size I needed, which she did and had them hold it until I could go to another store to purchase it.

I have never really walked the halls of Northpark mall enfemme, and especially with so many people about, but everyone was very nice and curteous, referring to me as mam and Ms. It was really a great experience.

[charlie]

When I'm standing in line with others in front and behind I always ask myself "why am I doing this???" When it is over and the roof did not fall in I then tell myself that it wasn't so bad. Even fun really.

[kimmiegal]

Show that pic to 100 people, and 99 1/2 will immediately say "girl." You look terrific, and perfectly natural.

More like 101%

[Karren H]

Once you have such a positive experience out then all you fears fall by the wayside.... :)

[Cheryl James]

I've shopped and purchased bras, panties, skirts, etc. in department stores while dressed en femme but I haven't been able to buy eben a quart of milk in a grocery store. It is now on my list. You looked great, by the way!

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Trisa Lee,

Now this is the type of thread I love reading! A CDer telling us what happened and especially how she felt when she was out en femme in public. :) I think you look totally passable and I'm not in the least bit surprised that you had no problems ... in fact, those smiles you got might not have been "knowing smiles" I think people were just being friendly ... you know how women smile at each other more than men - right?

I think that you look fantastic, and I must whole heartedly agree with you when you say :

The only thing I can't figure out is why I wasn't doing it 20 years ago.

Me too!! ... I have wasted so much time in my past.

Hugs
Rachel

[Jill M]

Tricia, As you left the store and went home, I would bet that your "almost normal" feeling changed to a "wonderful and thrilled" feeling. Great job girl.