Surprise Acceptance

[AKAMichelle]

I have been busy lately and haven't been able to read all of the posts in the past couple of weeks, but it doesn't mean that you aren't in my thoughts. I thought I would share a little about some events which are still transpiring as I write this post.

I had tried to get back with my wife, but the attempts only addressed part of the issues we have. CD'ing was a small piece which she finally dealt with but the bigger issues were left. With no solution available we have decided a few days after the halloween party to move forward with ending the marriage. While this is a sad event, it finally provided me the closure necessary to begin moving on with my life.

9 days ago, I met a woman which has gone far beyond acceptance. We talked on the phone 9 days ago for 4 hours. I met the woman online at eharmony. There was nothing in my profile to let her know I was a cd'er, but there were hints. After our long phone call we went out to a nightclub for a few drinks then returned to my place to watch a movie. We were getting along so well I took a chance. I told her at 3AM on our first date that I was a cd'er. We ended up talking until 6AM when I finally took her home. She had dated another cd'er years before but couldn't deal with it and broke off dating but remained friends. For some unknown reason she accepted me and has gone far beyond. I never knew about the cd'er friend until I told her.

I cancelled a date that I had with another woman on Saturday and took this one out again. We talked some more but fell asleep talking. On Monday it was decided that she would find out about Michelle. She came to my house to see the pictures / closet / me. She came to the house and saw the pictures and progressed to the closet. She was surprised that it was as serious because it is 3-1 female in the closet. After a little more discussion, I changed my clothes in front of her so she would see the transformation. She had told me before that she would never hold hands or kiss me when dressed. She broke that rule rather quickly and kissed me. I asked her if she realized that I had boobs and she laughingly replied - "Yes I Do". The next day I got an email saying that we could be great girlfriends and asked if I wanted to go shopping. She has since told me how cool it would be if we went to Victoria Secret to shop together.

I went down to Colorado Springs Friday night to eat with some friends. After dinner I returned to her house. She had never seen me completely dressed and this was the night. I told her that I needed to go to Walmart to buy a few things and she wanted to go with me. I reminded her that I was dressed and she was comfortable with it. So off to Walmart we went. 2 girls doing some shopping and she loved it.

The biggest test came last night. The meetup group that I run was having our Christmas party last night. We had 41 people show up and she was a little overwhelmed. She got to talk to a lot of people including wives and girlfriends at the party. She left the party feeling more connected to me than before we started.

I am sharing this story because I am a very out person. Dating me isn't a safe decision, but even with those obstacles i told anyway. My honesty and telling her how the pieces fit together caused her to see the big picture. I gained acceptance beyond my wildest belief because I told early and laid it out for her. Women are tired of being lied to and an honest man can break through a lot of barriers. It must be true because I have told 4 women on dates and had 3 accept me. 2 of them went out with Michelle.

I wish all of you could feel what it is like to have acceptance of who you are. That would be the greatest Christmas gift of all.

[Starla]

How wonderful that you seem to have found such an accepting woman! Just goes to show how being open and honest up front is the best policy. I hope this friendship blossoms into something very special for both of you!

[Alberta_Pat]

I think that this has a lot to do with your own acceptance of Michelle as a real identity.

As you are very comfortable with Michelle, those around you will also be.

This is YOU.

[Melinda G]

After a divorce or breakup, you really need some time to yourself, rather than rushing into something new right away. Just a little friendly advice. I recall my own mindset immediately after my divorce, as compared to a couple years later. Thank god I didn't rush into another relationship right away.

Also, a lot of women are accepting of just about anything, BEFORE the wedding. Things tend to change immediately after.

[AKAMichelle]

After a divorce or breakup, you really need some time to yourself, rather than rushing into something new right away. Just a little friendly advice. I recall my own mindset immediately after my divorce, as compared to a couple years later. Thank god I didn't rush into another relationship right away.

Also, a lot of women are accepting of just about anything, BEFORE the wedding. Things tend to change immediately after.

My wife and I have been separated for almost 2 years so there is no rushing. Plus there won't be a wedding for a long long time. I am in no hurry but acceptance at this level is very rare and worthy of being shared.

[larry]

What an exciting story. Best wishes to both of you. Happy Holidays!!

[Christinedreamer]

Quite similar to the experiences of the main character in "Just Like A Woman" Once she watched him transform, she was much more at ease and actually began to understand the whole concept. Congratulations on what we all hope is a long term relationship.

[Ginger]

Michelle,
Sounds like you have received the best Christmas gift of all, take your time and enjoy each other, as it sounds like you are doing.
Have a great Holiday
Ginger

[DebsUK]

That is lovely! What a fantastic woman, which makes two of you :)

[sissystephanie]

Michelle, as Ginger said, you have received a really great Christmas gift. As you know, women who think like she does are few and far between. I was fortunate to have a wife for almost 50 years who also thought that way. We both thought it was a real blessing!! Have a Very Merry Christmas and a totally Happy New Year!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Michelle, Your story sure didn't start out well but it really took a turn for the better.
I'm so happy for you. I'm coming up on my 47th anaversary so I don't know what it would be like
to go through what you must've went through I wish you all te best in your new journeys.

Orchid

[Rogina B]

I think you are doing great...And the best part of moving on to a better place is that your ex will realize what she lost was something that someone else rushed to pick up!! Enjoy your new accepting relationship.

[Alice B]

That is a wonderful story. I'll look forward to hearing how the relationship progresses. Have a Very merry XMAS.

Alice

[Jacky Aikou]

Michelle, thank you for sharing your exciting news. It's great to hear how being candid and honest has worked for you.



I wish all of you could feel what it is like to have acceptance of who you are. That would be the greatest Christmas gift of all.

That is such a lovely sentiment. I think you're right and that's a gift I wish everyone could find under their tree... :hugs:

[PretzelGirl]

I love how being upfront is working for you Michelle. Congrats as it seems that you at least have a start to an open and potentially fun relationship.

[Cheryl James]

I am very happy for you. Thank you for giving everyone reason to hope that there are women out there who can accept this.

[eluuzion]

Just another fine example of how fun life can be if you have the right attitude! Anything that you believe in your mind that you are capable of achieving is possible for you to acheive in real life.

By this time next year, I expect to be buying copies of your motivational book to give to friends for Xmas gifts!

I wanna be jus' like U when I grow up! (if I ever do, which is not likely, lol)

:hugs:HaveFun/BeHappy:hugs:

:love:

[SweetPea_GG]

Wonderful news to you! Finding someone who accepts all of you and you being brave and comfortable enough to share that side with her too! I think the part that makes me the most happy is that you were comfortable enough to share that side of you with her. :)

[Lorileah]

yay Michelle! Happy that everything is working out for you

[Patty B.]

Also have been away for a while here, but have followed your posts and can only wish you the best as life unfolds. All the best.

[AKAMichelle]

Just another fine example of how fun life can be if you have the right attitude! Anything that you believe in your mind that you are capable of achieving is possible for you to acheive in real life.

By this time next year, I expect to be buying copies of your motivational book to give to friends for Xmas gifts!

I wanna be jus' like U when I grow up! (if I ever do, which is not likely, lol)

:hugs:HaveFun/BeHappy:hugs:

:love:

I will make sure you get a signed copy of "Living to Be Inspired". For the last couple of years I have really given it a lot of thought about writing a book. I like that title and it fits the way I think. I think back about how much my life has changed in the last few years. The GF is just the icing on the cake.

[Tina B.]

So Michelle, there is life after divorce, that's good news for a lot of our sisters! Sounds like you are set for a real nice Christmas, I'm happy for you, enjoy your new found friend, there are more accepting women out there than many of the sisters here realize, after all there are a lot of us on here that are married and open to their wives.
Tina B.

[StacyChambers]

What wonderful, exciting news! Wishing you both all the happiness you deserve!

[Victoria Anne]

Michelle I think it is wonderful that you have found that acceptance , I told my wife the day before our first date , we will be celebrating our 14TH wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks . Honesty will be your greatest asset .

[Julogden]

Hi Michelle,

Sorry to hear of the end of your marriage, I know first-hand how that feels.

Regarding your new friend, you might want to take things slowly. I know it's tempting to jump into this seemingly perfect relationship, but you're in a place right now where you are vulnerable in a few different ways.

Here's one instance of why you might want to go slowly: I had a friend who had a similar experience. Following a divorce, she met a woman who was amazingly accepting of my friend's crossdressing, even to the point of being active in support groups and staunchly defending crossdressers when the two of them were featured in an article on crossdressers in a local non-T publication. But as soon as they were married, the mask came off. She told my friend that the crossdressing had to stop or else she would file for divorce. My friend quit dressing but the divorce happened anyway, and she absolutely took my friend to the cleaners, left her with nothing, lost her house and virtually all her money and had to pay alimony too.

I'm not saying that your new friend is like that, she probably isn't, but you do need to proceed cautiously.

Carol

[kitchenette]

Where is the like button??? That's a great post, Michelle. Your openness and self-acceptance is outstanding and no doubt goes a long way in sending positive cues to your love interest. It just resonates with me so much. My CDing partner really struggles with self-acceptance on a deep level - which really doesn't help "normalize" it for me. His relationship with it seems unhealthy - his denial scares me the most. (ie, when in male mode, he can barely acknowledge the fem side, and vise-versa.) It's really, really wonderful the way you seem at ease with yourself, I'm sure that puts her at ease, too. I'm sure it's been a journey for you, just as it is for us and all that are here. You just made my day, because you've given me a lot of food for thought and great insight. We have our therapy appt on Wednesday and now I know what I want to talk about! THANK YOU.

[JulieC]

I am sharing this story because I am a very out person. Dating me isn't a safe decision, but even with those obstacles i told anyway. My honesty and telling her how the pieces fit together caused her to see the big picture. I gained acceptance beyond my wildest belief because I told early and laid it out for her. Women are tired of being lied to and an honest man can break through a lot of barriers. It must be true because I have told 4 women on dates and had 3 accept me. 2 of them went out with Michelle.

I wish all of you could feel what it is like to have acceptance of who you are. That would be the greatest Christmas gift of all.

Michelle, thank you so much for sharing! I'm VERY happy for you!

I wanted to highlight and emphasize what you said above. It's a potent lesson to any CDer.

Self acceptance is often the hardest road to travel. It is no small wonder that many of us who do not accept ourselves find no acceptance in the women we date (or at least, those that know we're CDers). How can we possibly except someone else to accept us when we don't accept ourselves? It's an unreasonable expectation.

You accept yourself, and have approached the CDing in a mature, healthy, stable way. I am not at all surprised that this woman has accepted you. You're healthy in your approach to it! BRAVO!

[Amanda22]

Michelle, there are several wonderful aspects to your posting. Thanks for taking the time to write it. Your honesty is really great. I agree 100% that keeping secrets is a much larger negative than dressing as a woman. Any woman I've known has considered my wearing of girl's clothes just quirky and not a big deal, because they could see the real me underneath. Women are very smart and practical. I'm very happy for you, Michelle. You deserved this!

[AllieSF]

Congratulations Michelle. May the good times continue for a long, long time. Thanks for sharing. Now, if only I can get so lucky!

[AKAMichelle]

Where is the like button??? That's a great post, Michelle. Your openness and self-acceptance is outstanding and no doubt goes a long way in sending positive cues to your love interest. It just resonates with me so much. My CDing partner really struggles with self-acceptance on a deep level - which really doesn't help "normalize" it for me. His relationship with it seems unhealthy - his denial scares me the most. (ie, when in male mode, he can barely acknowledge the fem side, and vise-versa.) It's really, really wonderful the way you seem at ease with yourself, I'm sure that puts her at ease, too. I'm sure it's been a journey for you, just as it is for us and all that are here. You just made my day, because you've given me a lot of food for thought and great insight. We have our therapy appt on Wednesday and now I know what I want to talk about! THANK YOU.

In my case openness was an obstacle to finding someone. I don't live in the closet. I have flown dressed and gone just about everywhere dressed with little fear left. That is hard to hide and not let it effect a relationship. The woman would have to be able to deal with me going out in public. At some point maybe even join me.

My greatest weapon in my arsenal to gain acceptance was also my biggest hinderance. Being able to accept myself has made it easy for me to tell someone how everything fits together. When you are able to start with a certain level of acceptance within, you are able to comfort the SO. You are able to be there for the SO because you don't need as much fixing. Balance years ago was described to me as feeling the same way regardless of how you are dressed. Being TG reaches into every area in your life. It touches and changes you in ways that you may never understand, but it is important to embrace them. Those feelings never go away and will always be a part of you. You are the sum total of all your experiences and the person inside which few people ever see, but when you are able to embrace those feelings you allow people to see a glimpse of the person within. We are worthy of love and respect.

My GF left the party and told me that she felt so much closer to me than she was before. She made a comment which really connected with me. She said that at the Christmas party she met so many real men. She saw how we allowed ourselves to talk about our feelings and express them. We were being true to ourselves. I think the experience has probably caused her to desire to be with a cd'er. She wants what we have learned and share that experience.

[Christy_M]

This is such a great story. Thanks for sharing. I logically understand about self acceptance and strive emotionally for this every day. For you, you have certainly reaped the rewards for achieving self acceptance and exhibiting your true self. I personally appreciate reading your story and striving to achieve what you have. I am sure my wife would feel better about me too.

[VickysBFF]

AKA Michelle: Congrats and I am happy to hear that things are going well for you. I don't mean to pry or be too personal, but I was confused by something in your original post.
You mentioned that she has e-mailed you about being great girlfriends and I did not know if she was going to be your girl friend (i.e. a friend who is female) or your girlfriend (i.e. love interest) or both? Hard to tell.
Either way I wish you well and am glad that you have someone that you can be yourself with.

[AKAMichelle]

AKA Michelle: Congrats and I am happy to hear that things are going well for you. I don't mean to pry or be too personal, but I was confused by something in your original post.
You mentioned that she has e-mailed you about being great girlfriends and I did not know if she was going to be your girl friend (i.e. a friend who is female) or your girlfriend (i.e. love interest) or both? Hard to tell.
Either way I wish you well and am glad that you have someone that you can be yourself with.

We are romantically connected. She was speaking of going places with Michelle. Last Friday night she went with me to Walmart since I was still dressed. That was a huge step and proof that she meant what she said. I worry about her going too far, but she is giving 110% of herself to me which is very refreshing. We will just have to see what happens now.

[joandher]

I definitely think that Santa will be delivering a girly present to you this year

Hugs to you both

J-JAY

[Lorileah]

and to think I remember when Michelle was just this wall flower who was all like shy and quiet...look at her now!

[AKAMichelle]

and to think I remember when Michelle was just this wall flower who was all like shy and quiet...look at her now!

I remember her too. She would never have led a meetup group like I do now. We have 120 members after just over 6 months. We have already had 57 meetups so far with our last one having 41 people attend our Christmas party. I never would have believed that I would be this out, but more importantly that I found a way to accept myself. I now let both parts blend to make me whole and I love who I have become a lot more than the old me.

[Kaz]

I want to say BRILLIANT! But I had thoughts that are echoed above with Julogden's post... be careful!

But it made me think about what I would do if we seperated... and for a moment I was in your space...

Go for it!

[VickysBFF]

We are romantically connected. She was speaking of going places with Michelle. Last Friday night she went with me to Walmart since I was still dressed. That was a huge step and proof that she meant what she said. I worry about her going too far, but she is giving 110% of herself to me which is very refreshing. We will just have to see what happens now.

This is great, congratulations and I am very happy for you. I hope things go well for you.

[Kate17]

This is terriffic! She is really sweet. It is so much fun to share.

[FionaO]

Michelle,
Glad to hear that after all your recent relationship trauma you are now having some very positive outcomes. I know you have commented on my own threads about being more honest with my wife. I wish you all the best in your new relationship and no matter what happens continue to be honest with your current partner. We have to accept who we are and by hiding things from our nearest and dearest we are creating a sense of guilt in ourselves. Surely this cannot be good for us.