Wow, I am astonished

[Pythos]

I just tried looking to see if there was a Tri-ess chapter in my area, and the closest is the state capitol, and that link doesn't even work.

I was entertaining the idea of joining such a group just to see what it is like, after seeing the pics Kayla Shadows posted of several of her meetings.

I may no be a perfect match, but I am still interested to say the least.

[Karren H]

Maybe you could start a chapter? I'm amazed that in your area there aren't a couple!!

[Sarah Doepner]

At first I couldn't believe we have one in Utah and there isn't one in the Bay Area. I would think there is a belief that because of the liberal reputation that part of the country has there wouldn't be a need for one, but there are always people who need the kind of social link and comfort zone Tri-Ess can provide. I'd love to know there was a Tri-Ess chapter in S.F. when I visit the area.

[Annie D]

You may get assistance from the SF girls about specific organizations but you might try googleing something about transgender groups; I'm sure that you have tried that but I would think that there are several support groups in SF; my god, it is San Francisco after all.

[Michelle James]

Maybe you could start a chapter? I'm amazed that in your area there aren't a couple!!

None in my neighborhood either

[Eve_WA]

Ours in Seattle died a few years ago. They were too restrictive and wouldnt let anyone but straight crossdresers join. If you are TS or gay, they didnt want you. So it died...

[tamarav]

Oh honey, you are in the midst of the most prolific groups around. Just because Tri-Ess doesn't have a working web link doesn't mean you are alone. Try http://www.tgsf.org/ for a great group of very supportive people. And just north (Sacramento) of you there are the River City Girls and down south (San Jose) there is the Rainbow Aliance.

When I lived in that area I had the opportunity to go out to groups virtually every weekend and lots of Wednesdays. Keep looking and doing the research, they are there.

[Cari]

Tri-Ess was a positive organization for me at one point; but they arent the only group in town.
I liked the people in my local chapter; but found the national organization to be a bit conservative for my taste.

Try searching thru Yahoo groups for local information.

In our area there are many great support groups that arent aligned with Tri-Ess.

[msniki48]

pythos, you can also check "renaissance" they are a support group for both CD and TS

[Starla]

I did quite a bit of Tri-Essing back in the day. Basically, the rationale behind the organization on a theoretical level is to serve the needs of straight, non-transitioning, married CDers and their spouses or SOs. Not that you have to be married or in a relationship, but that's the focus. (Any Tri-Ess meeting I attended also featured a separate, closed-door meeting for SOs to talk, commiserate, and unburden themselves out of earshot of their partners.)

In practice, these limitations of focus can vary quite a bit -- I think it really depends on who's running the show on the local level, and how much influence is wielded by the wives. My home chapter was quite inclusive, and we had several members who were living full-time WBOS (Without Benefit of Surgery) or actively transitioning, and even a few post-op TSs who, though no longer regular attendees, still visited from time to time to meet up with old friends. About the only categories frowned upon were fetish-oriented CDs, and extremes of clothing were discouraged.

But other chapters are much less inclusive. A phrase I heard many times is that they didn't want TSs, full-timers, or transitioners hanging around because their presence "might upset the wives." The rationale was that many spouses still learning to cope with a hubby who dresses mostly at home or in group-rented hotel suites might see these people as representing a path that they feared their husbands might take, or tempt them to push the envelope outside of the wife's comfort level.

All in all, as I said, not all Tri-Ess groups are this inhibited and clannish, but there are others where you feel as if you're constantly walking on eggs, fearful of saying or doing something that will upset the wives or the local hierarchy. As with any support group, the best advice is to visit a couple of times, chat and mingle, and see what kind of vibes you get and how comfortably you feel you fit in.

[AllieSF]

Adding to what Tamarav said. Their is the Diablo Valley Girls (DVG) that meet, I think, twice a month in Walnut Creek. Then there are I Love It Girl (iloveitgirl.com) and Carla's down in San Jose. These two have been going through some recent changes though. I still get emails from them, but not sure about their meet ups anymore. Go to Yahoo Groups and look for T related groups in the Bay area. A friend of mine, Samantha, helps run one of those groups. Good luck and happy searching. Oh, the river City Gems is great and I have been to several of their functions throughout the year. As I understand, they broke away from a Sacramento Tri-Ess group. Contact Rachael here as she is one of the founding members along with her wife.