I know why I crossdress. Why do we want to go public?

[Emme]

I told my best friend today about going shopping as Emme. His surprised me by asking some questions like: Did it sexually excite you?(No) Were you truying to fool the world? I don't think fool is the word. I could not answer all his questions...it made me think... so I ask you my sisters.....why do we want to presnt as women?

I think, I may have an answer...It just feels goood! And I am going to take my 6' 4" frame on the road again...soon!

[Cari]

I dont go out much in public to shop ect.
But I have enjoyed attending events and nites out.

So my reason for going out is mainly social; It still feels good to look around a room and see others dressed, talk with them and compare notes

I try to present as womanly as possible mainly because it feels right. And you have to get to the event which means being in public.
I'd like to think its pride and self motivation; but I never want to be the worst lookig gal in the room.
Also I think its kinda a matter of respect to the GG's in attendance.

[Elle1946]

I want to go out because I want to be myself without being harassed or being put down because of the cloths I chose to wear.

[Karren H]

I started going out because setting at home all dressed up is boreing as hell!!

[thechic]

I started going out because it felt wright,I can do the stuff that i want to do,and since im sort of out there now I dont need to hide.I hate the fact that im trapped in a male body

[NathalieX66]

I go out in public because I feel this is the best way that I can manifest myself as a person. I can play guy or girl either way. I enjoy womens' sense of fashion and I want to be a part of it,and experience it for myself the way women do.

Staying home and dressing up feels pointless.

[Sophie86]

I remember when the idea first occurred to me it gave me a huge rush of adrenalin-fueled sexual excitement. I could just imagine how wonderfully hot I would feel walking around in public in a skirt. I was right. :)

I do it because it feels sexy, it excites me, and it makes me feel more alive. I become visible to the world.

[silhouette]

Karren I love your posts lol.

hmm well I think everyone has their reasons..
We have a big community with a lot of different types of people..

I've gone out in public briefly and WOW I got a lot of stares.
Some people will hate me for this but I'll just go ahead and admit that I really love the attention haha.

Feeling beautiful and having everyones eyes on you is certainly a rush!
I don't make nearly as much of an impact walking into a room as a guy :)

[Barbara Dugan]

I never been out....but I want to experience the whole boyfriend girlfriend experience and that requieres to go out to places

[docrobbysherry]

Emme, I vote with your best friend!

I get NO thrill from going out dressed! Unless u think EXTREME FEAR is a thrill! And, it definitely does NOT turn me on! Dressing in private DOES!
The thing about it is; How many BAD things can happen to u dressed in private?
Now, how many BAD things can happen to u dressed out?

I LOVE meeting other girls dressed in a CD friendly venue. Otherwise, I'll continue to go out FEARLESSLY in drab!

[Chickhe]

I dress because it makes me feel good. I go out because it is boring at home and it is a challenge. I may feel good because it is an escape from the other parts of my life that I do not enjoy. Why CDing instead of something else, I have no idea.

[marny]

we are sociale animals. we all want to go out. there are a myrid of situtuations that you can go to with no threat worse than joe blow steping out the door.

[txrobinm]

"There is danger in sitting on the fence and watching the birds"- Orville Wright (I think).

Today I didn't leave my apartment because I couldn't decide which version of me would be most comfortable out. Finally decided on Robin, got ready, and ran my errands, leaving around 7:30. Nothing scary happened- the vast majority of people have a live and let live attitude. I went to 2 different Targets, a high-end grocery store, Dillard's, and Wal Mart. This is in the suburbs of Dallas, and it's fun to hear people's minds in action, as they realize that there at T people in the suburbs, too, not just in diverse Dallas.

Most of the time I'm out with friends, enjoying a movie and dinner or dessert, or some other ordinary thing. It's nice when the outside can match the inside of me. It's just good to be authentic to yourself, comfortable in your own (chosen) 'skin'.

[MsGreen]

1 - It's a challenge, a proving point to show that you can evoke the reaction from others that you choose. (They think I'm a girl! or There's a show! or That person's a crossdresser)
2 - It's a search for acceptance.
3 - It's an ego thrill. Being checked out by others, even blatantly, give you the spotlight even if for bizarre or threatening reasons.
4 - It's practice. For next time.

[Jessica Jameson]

I dress because I feel it helps me better represent who i am. I also love fashion and feel that life is too short to only get a clothing experience of just one gender. And then sometimes I just do it for the reaction.

[Gerrijerry]

So many reasons that we go out. For me it is because dressing is not the point living is. To live you need to get out and get things done that need to be done. Simple as that, Not out to prove anything to any one.

[Rogina B]

Not only do I get a chance to stand out,but I get a chance to be socially challenged and work through it in a clever way.Men bull their way around the tasks while most women handle them craftily..And that goes for social situations and personal safety as well.Perhaps I would have enjoyed being a character actress playing many roles...like women do so naturally.I love an audience and there isn't enough of one at home[two and a half girls and a half boy.lol] SO I HAVE TO GO OUT AND ABOUT.Try it,you"ll like it!

[dominique]

When I go out dressed I feel so alive and wonderful. Its also good to be treated as a woman. I had reached a point that dressing in the house wasn't enough so I decided to take the ultimate step.

[MargaretJ]

What Karen says. There comes a point where sitting in the house all dressed and made up, isn't enough.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I love getting out and about because sitting at home all dressed up just doesn't cut it anymore. I guess it's the call of the wild that pushed me out the front door, which was (is) a great thrill and wickedly addictive.

I present as Tasha because she has become a large and important part of who I am, and she refuses to stay closeted.

Tash :)

[JohnH]

I look around at all the sheeple wearing their boring-as-hell pants and sneakers, and think I can do a lot better at dressing that the vast majority of people. It's really nice to wear beautiful clothes instead of the utilitarian clothes most people wear, women included. It's really a shame that everyday women's clothes have devolved into some imitation of men's clothing.

John

[Chiana]

Don't you think that going out is really about looking for accetance of the inner girl in us? There are other issues that arrise out of it. Some want to be attractive to a man. Some want to socialize. Some are bored with staying at home. Some don't go out because they realize that reality can sometimes be very rude and/or dangerous. Some don't care if reality can be rude or dangerous. Some want the world to see that spirit of a beautiful young girl trapped inside an old man's body. Whatever. But I think we all seek that validation.

[Ericka2]

The attention from men is what I like, also the fact that feeling like a woman gives my life a more sense of who I am since the male in me is so unhappy and pointless.

Love , Ericka

[Sarah Doepner]

Dressing en femme isn't just about what I see in the mirror but about the overall experience and how I am growing as an individual. To stay in the closet is to stagnate. I need to continue to grow and face new challenges. Getting out in public sets new parameters for my dressing. I no longer just have an internal fantasy to achieve, but now I have to try and meet external expectations as well. The richness of the experience is greater than anything I can do in my home and while I don't always have the best time, there is no doubt the experience is more complex and there is more to savor. To refer to another thread here, when I stay home it's meat and potatoes, when I get out there is rosemary in the gravy.

[StaceyJane]

I go out in public because I really can't live my life without spending time as a woman.

[Bootsiegalore]

I started going out because setting at home all dressed up is boreing as hell!! Amen!

[AmberM]

I desire to go out because I want to experience a girl's night out with my fiance and with other women, and to have a great time.

[sami1952]

I do it mostly because i have always felt like i was in the wrong body.I have always felt like a woman inside .

[JenniferR771]

Chiana--is on the right track--its validation. And... its also Pink Cloud number 2.
What do you want to happen when you go out in public? What would be ideal? Would you go out, if you expected no one to notice you at all? If you expected some disapproving faces or comments? If you were wearing slacks? Would it bother you if kids giggled?

Is there a progression from shy and careful (and boring) to bolder and more extreme? Is there an extinction effect? It just takes more to excite you each time you dress? If you wore slacks last week and no one noticed--would you wear a dress and heels this week?

[Amanda22]

Good topic (thanks for that). The primary reason I dress in public is because every time I do it the challenge is easier. I'm not sure I'm looking for validation; I just don't care much what strangers think. I never let others' influence my self-confidence, even way before crossdressing in public. Also, I feel I have every right to wear whatever I like. Wearing women's clothing makes everything in sync for me. Why keep that feeling confined inside the four walls of my home?

[DebsUK]

It's for acceptance I think. It's a bit of a rush too. It also makes clothes easier to buy because you can try them on. Oh, and I spent good money on my clothes so I don't want to be the only one who looks like them. In fact wearing nice clothes can be a little like putting loads of decorations on your house at Xmas. You can't see them, but other people do and get the benefit from that

[juno]

I don't really care that much about acceptance for myself. I want to get out to increase public exposure to make life easier for those who are afraid to come out. Unfortunately, my wife is less open to going out, so I can't do it as much as I would like to.

The real question is: why would you wear men's clothes going out if you like women's clothes better? The only negative part is not enough public acceptance, but there never will be if people don't get out.

[PretzelGirl]

Dressing is an extension of me. So I am okay with staying in and dressing if I was planning on staying in and doing something anyway. If I am planning on going out and doing something, then doing it dressed is a bonus (but not a given depending on what I am doing). So I don't do anything special other than Tri-Ess meetings when dressed. Just what I normally would do. Like about 3/4's of my Christmas shopping was done dressed this year.

[Pythos]

Oh Juno, you are so preaching my speel. LOL.

The more of us out in our stuff, the more it will be accepted. But the more we hide, the less acceptable and deviant it is.

[Rogina B]

And,I think many people are intrigued with us...I think all the out and about girls have someone they encountered that seemed genuine in their dealings with us..Could have been a salesperson or a cop or a bank teller or a hotel clerk,etc BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE!!

[Cheryl James]

I have made my mind up that I enjoy dressing and that I am going to continue to dress as much as I can. Now, I have a choice: dress and stay home or dress and go out. Going out is something I enjoy because it is like a test to see how appropriate my clothes are, how good my makeup job is, and how I present myself, in general. I like it and I have denied myself the opportunity too many times, so I'm going out. For those who don't want to, that's fine. For those who do, that's great, too. Life is short, enjoy.

[Celeste]

I feel it's a thrill and a challenge.I t also increases the chances of meeting other cd's. Usually 3 or 4 times in a year will work for me,just enough to take the edge off.

[Freddy12]

There is some danger involved - I could be seen by someone I don't want to know about my crossdressing - and that danger, for me is a thrill. That's the main reason I go out enfemme - the thrill caused by the danger.

[KateSpade83]

I go out in drag mainly to go shopping so I can try womens clothes on before I buy them. This also helps me not look like a "gay guy shopping for womens clothes," - a reputation I hate. I've gone to church in a skirt suit several times too because I went shopping afterwards. But one time an African family followed me into church and the son was thinking about hitting on me until he realized I was a man. I went to the grocery a few times in drag but and one guy almost hit on me too. But when I go shopping in drag sometimes I feel I can't hit on pretty women that way.

I like to go to church sometimes in a skirt suit to feel like I'm one of the women there... I have several beautiful church type skirt suits too.

[noeleena]

Hi.

Because im a woman ,

i meet many people, joined many groups womens ones to show others because we are different i can give of my self & allow others to see we are just people who are born different yet can be a part of socity like every one else,
talking to people ,in my case what its like being a woman born with both male & female thinking.

& having friends who accept you as a person first & then as a woman , & of cause to wear those so neat clothes, i dont pass as a good looking woman . so i gets the looks any way. & to have doors opened for you .

Now thats so neat. why do i do it

............Because i love it ...............

...noeleena...

[Rianna Humble]

What do you want to happen when you go out in public? What would be ideal? Would you go out, if you expected no one to notice you at all? If you expected some disapproving faces or comments? If you were wearing slacks? Would it bother you if kids giggled?

What I want to happen depends on my reason for leaving the house. If I am going to work, then what I want to happen is for me to get to work with time to spare, if I'm going shopping then what I want is to be able to find the stuff that I'm shopping for.

Ideal is for everything to go smoothly.

I go out all the time and most of the time the only people who notice are those I interact with (e.g. work colleagues, SA in a store...)

I have had disapproving stares, giggles and rude remarks, but I cannot let my life be ruled by idiots.

I have worn slacks when they went with my outfit but prefer something like a Salwar Kameez (as I am wearing today for work).

[Juliemckay]

I go out because I have stuff to get done.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Easy, because I look great and when you've got it, flaunt it!

[MarinaKirax]

I think I'm infatuated (attracted to?) the way I look as a woman.

There was a discussion a while back about the new psychiatric definition of transvestism - that some people are trying to have it defined as 'autogynophilia', meaning being attracted to or aroused by the image of one's self as a female. It plays in to the fantasy we have about living and interacting with others in a female personna. (Obviously this is relating to crossdressers, and not those who have a real desire or need to live fully and forever as female ---transsexuals) . Although many were really angry about this approach, I find it resonated with me.

I have tried to explain this to my wife, who wonders the same thing; why isn't dressing in private enough? I started by telling her that if there were no mirrors in the world, then alot of the joy of my dressing would be gone. My desire is to sink into a temporary fantasy of me as a sexy, sultry, curvy female, with all the trimmings like lacy lingerie, swishy skirts, sheer stockings and the click of killer heels. I like looking in the mirror and being surprised by the long haired siren blinking back at me. Maybe I could be her all the time. I look convincing enough, don't I? (my wife says I don't look quite that convincing....) but those questions lead to the desire to go out dressed - I want to fool other people into treating me as fully female, because it helps me reinforce my illusions. If I had fantasies about being a fireman, I might dress in fireman's clothes, but how much more exciting would it be to actually be treated like a fireman by others? Just my two cents. MK

[Sharon B.]

I have only gone out a few times but those times I did go out, felt wonderful like it is the right thing for me to do.
I felt a lot more comfortable in my feminine self than I have ever felt as my male self.
Maybe I am more transgender than I realize. In a different part of the country or state I may have live the rest of my life as a woman, but don't know if I want to do it here or not.

[Amy Hepker]

I just want to be a Girl, to be able to enjoy life the way I was supposed to in dresses and other female clothing. I have tried the female life and it is wonderful even though I do not fully pass it is so much more different than what a guy does. Girls can get away with so much more than a guy does also.

[kate dresser]

I like agree with karen, I like to go out and shop while dressed. Only have gone out 2 to a mall but looking in the womens section and accessories made me feel more at peace. When a sales lady looks at you while dressed even if they know I have to think that we put alot of effort and courage to go out. I believe they will explain and help you out alot more that just going in male mode. You can try on the clothes get the right fit, theres nothing worse that getting home and you dont like the way it looks on you. best of all if when you get home you realizes that is was a remarkable day.

[Alice Torn]

Great thread, and you give me hope! I have been out four times this year. I still am very nervous, and paranoid, because of my height, voice, Adams apple, people i know, who could make life tough. There is a thrill, some vanity in fooling others, but also a thrill to dress like woman once did, and thrill of being watched, admired. Most of the time, fear keeps me inside, though.

[Jilmac]

I go out dressed just for the sheer enjoyment.

[Terricd48]

Isn't it amazing that we try to look our best so we can pass yet gg 's seem to prefer the drab look.

Terri

[Kendra (Tx)]

For me? Why waste the effort of getting all pretty and not sharing with the rest of the world? :battingeyelashes: Besides I love catching guys checking me out....:heehee:

http://kendra954.com

[Nikki A.]

I do it because I want to. I'm not looking for men but do like to be treated as I am presenting.

[Lexine]

Like most people, it's because it's a natural part of me and I'd be damned if I kept her bottled up in a tiny closet in my apartment. To some, it's also a validation of what they're doing. For others, it's an escape.

[Vale]

I have been dressing for many years, but have rarely felt the desire to go out in public dressed. In fact the only times I have been out in public have been to Halloween parties.
I suspect that part of the attraction of crossdressing for me is that it is a form relaxing by myself for myself. There is also a feeling of “letting down my guard”. While I’m willing to share the experiences (with my wife for example), I’m not doing it to please anyone else. In that context the stress and risk of going out in public, and the effort to keep up a publicly acceptable persona, are just not that attractive.
Maybe things will change in the future, but that is how it is at the moment.

[ninapuella]

I want to go out because thats the only way to live out completely. A personality is for living not hiding.

[Maria 60]

I have also had a more closed crossdress life, but will at times take the walk on a quit country road or maybe just relax in the yard, Iam glad i have taken the chance to feel the wind up my skirt, or the cold air on my pantyhosed legs, walking in heels in the rain and my pantyhosed feet getting wet. These are small little things but i,am happy that i could enjoy them. If i was more passable i probably would take more chances.

[Rilulia]

I feel like I'd go out in public all dolled up because it would be like a right of passage or like a test. A test to see if I could pass or come off to people as a genuine female.

[docrobbysherry]

That was stated so clearly and explicitly, Vale! It's EXACTLY why so many of us don't go out! Nice to have u here! After 10 posts, you'll be able to send and receive private messages! So, keep posting!


I have been dressing for many years, but have rarely felt the desire to go out in public dressed. In fact the only times I have been out in public have been to Halloween parties.
I suspect that part of the attraction of crossdressing for me is that it is a form relaxing by myself for myself. There is also a feeling of “letting down my guard”. While I’m willing to share the experiences (with my wife for example), I’m not doing it to please anyone else. In that context the stress and risk of going out in public, and the effort to keep up a publicly acceptable persona, are just not that attractive.
Maybe things will change in the future, but that is how it is at the moment.

[Sally24]

I go out because...........
Well, I dress to look and feel like a woman. A goodly part of that is being treated like a woman by other people and social interaction with them. It confirms and amplifies the way I feel about myself as a transwoman. The more positive feedback I receive, the more confidence and attitude I exude. On a really good feeling day (or night) I can just float along with my movements feeling natural and me feeling very attractive. I've been oggled by truckers and whistled at by other men and even though I didn't seek that exact attention it was very exhilarating. It can be addicting in a way and if I could I would find a way to maintain that feeling 24/7.

[Loni]

unless one has a phobia of some sort, just sitting at home staring at the walls is a drag.. (ha.ha.ha bad joke i know).

i love to get out as loni, just wish i could more often.
like as in i need to get up to reno this week (dmv legal stuff) but must be done as male. (sad).
Loni

[Fab Karen]

Ask him why he wants to go out in what he's wearing. "Why do you do it?" : Because I like it.

[JenniferB]

I go out in drag mainly to go shopping so I can try womens clothes on before I buy them. This also helps me not look like a "gay guy shopping for womens clothes," - a reputation I hate. I've gone to church in a skirt suit several times too because I went shopping afterwards. But one time an African family followed me into church and the son was thinking about hitting on me until he realized I was a man. I went to the grocery a few times in drag but and one guy almost hit on me too. But when I go shopping in drag sometimes I feel I can't hit on pretty women that way.

I like to go to church sometimes in a skirt suit to feel like I'm one of the women there... I have several beautiful church type skirt suits too.
You always seem to think everyone is "hitting on you". For some reason that really puzzles me.

[KateSpade83]

You always seem to think everyone is "hitting on you". For some reason that really puzzles me.

Not everyone hits on me. Just a few times I went out in drag did men try to hit on me.

[JenniferB]

Not everyone hits on me. Just a few times I went out in drag did men try to hit on me.
Fine, if you say so. But honestly, are you sure that isn't just your fantasy?

[Nicole Brown]

I can only speak for myself, but there are several reasons why I go out as Nicole. First, it is very hard to buy new shoes while sitting at home. Second, I get tired of preparing my lunch and want to eat in a nice restaurant. And lastly, I fear that the local Dress Barn and Avenue stores will go out of business if I am not there to support them...

[Diane Meris]

I went out for several reasons. First was the desire to just be myself no matter what anyone else thought. Second, it is a thrill to be yourself in public. Third, I always hope to make some kind of contact or connection with other people to feel like I am a part of the world. It is fun and thrilling to have conversations with other "normal" people and to be accepted by them.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I just do not appear as a female even dressed, but to me I like it so never ever go out in public. If I wanted to get into a confrontation, I would go to the pub coz I could run faster in flats than high heels.

[robin1991]

i didnt go outside yet but i do wanna go this summer
because i love the feeling of ebing w woman

and since people say i even look like a girl when iam a boy i so wanna go outside

[AllieSF]

I am with Karren. My first goal once getting close to some more or less acceptable female image of myself was always to go out into he real world and do what I had always done in male mode. I dress occasionally around the house, but if I am going to put all that effort into it, I do want to take it on the road. As others have said, shopping en femme is so much better with far better results for fit and look of a specific garment. I respect those that prefer to stay inside for whatever reason. I have found that I am much more open when out dressed en femme and am actually taking advantage of living near such a wonderful cosmopolitan City As San Francisco with all that it has to offer, including diversity, which I help contribute to on a regular basis.

[TxKimberly]

Cant speak for all but can speak for myself.
Since I was five years old I have wanted to dress or "be" a girl. For a lifetime I've wanted to be just like the girls, dress like the girls, be treated like the girls, BE a girl. At last I have found the courage to enter the world and be perceived as "a girl". It's a life long dream/want/desire. Do I try and fool people? Yes, though not for the reasons most straight men would think of. I want to "fool" people for my own pride and safety. Pride in that I hope that I look female and will be accepted as such. Safety in that I don't need to worry about some thug trying to kick my backside if he doesn't know I am male. I don''t care about "tricking" him for amusement or sexual purposes - I want to fool him so that I get treated as a lady and so that I dont need to worry about a physical assault.

[Cynthia Anne]

I cant think of a reason not to go out dressed! Except, well maybe I'm to lazy to change clothes! BESIDES THAT WOULD BE BORING!

[MichelleP]

Going out is just part of a progression of me being me. I love to go out both to shop and to socialize. I love the movies and even the occassional play/opera while dressed. The only unfortunate part with the movies / plays is that I am usually alone. I even went to Disneyworld once but, (sigh) I was alone.

[NathalieX66]

I love the feminine esthetic so much that, at times, I want to be it.
I want nothing to do with the male sexuality end of it.....I want to think, be, and do what women think, be, and do.

[melissacd]

Because when I present to the public dressed femme I am presenting my most authentic self. When I am dressed in male mode that is when I am truly cross dressing.

[Jenniferathome]

I go out because I want people to see the pretty woman that I am. It is exciting. As a guy, I'm relatively invisible, I mean who cares about a guy? But a woman in short dress and high heels is hot!

[Rianna Humble]

rereading the original post, I realised I didn't actually answer Emme's question.

The very first few times I went out in public were an attempt to shame myself out of needing to dress. When that didn't work, I went out dressed because it made me feel better than going out in drab.

Dressing has never been about sexual excitement for me as far as I can recall, it has always been about the clothes and how they make me feel.

I wasn't trying to fool the world, but the first time I got referred to as "madam" was a bit of a thrill.

For as long as I can remember, every time I dressed it felt more natural than when I was in drab.

[Jess1982]

seems like wanting to go out in public is a natural progression. As humans, we have an innate need to grow in whatever it is that we are doing. Once we do it long enough, we either move on to something else or attempt to somehow take it to the next level.