Ever wonder "why bother CD'ing"?

[Jay Cee]

When I first came out to my gf in mid 2010, and started actively crossdressing, I was in heaven. Went all out, and bought clothes, makeup, some shoes, pantyhose and lingerie.

I painted my nails, got dressed up frequently, and even worked up the nerve to venture out once (albeit on Hallowe'en night :) ). I suppose I was in the much mentioned pink fog.

A few months later, it's pretty different. I still wear girly stuff to bed, I keep my toenails painted, and do fairly regular body hair removal. Girl jeans have replaced my old guy jeans.

But the desire to look like a woman has passed, in a sense. I feel that if I can't be a woman, then why bother trying to look like one? That seems to be the prevalent theme in my head, as far as crossdressing is concerned. No, it isn't in my head all the time, but almost every time I see a lovely woman, I usually wonder what it would like to be her.

I'll toss this in too, in case anyone is wondering: If I am a TS, I don't think I am a "traditional" one (ie: known since the age of ~5). Sorry if that is stereotyping.

Has anyone here experienced anything similar? If so, how did you deal with it?

[Karren H]

That question for me falls between "why bother to breath" and "why bother to eat".... Answer... I have to... I'm not trying to be a woman.... And most of the time I don't look like one either.... I just enjoy wearing their stuff! Lol

[Crissy Kay]

I can only reply from the view of a part time cder. I think we need a break from cding every once in a while. I am usually happy when I am cding, but it can be a lot of work at times. I just don"t want to do it all the time. Also, I am happy for the most part, in my male life.

[Juliemckay]

When I first came out to my gf in mid 2010, and started actively crossdressing, I was in heaven. Went all out, and bought clothes, makeup, some shoes, pantyhose and lingerie.

I painted my nails, got dressed up frequently, and even worked up the nerve to venture out once (albeit on Hallowe'en night :) ). I suppose I was in the much mentioned pink fog.

A few months later, it's pretty different. I still wear girly stuff to bed, I keep my toenails painted, and do fairly regular body hair removal. Girl jeans have replaced my old guy jeans.

But the desire to look like a woman has passed, in a sense. I feel that if I can't be a woman, then why bother trying to look like one? That seems to be the prevalent theme in my head, as far as crossdressing is concerned. No, it isn't in my head all the time, but almost every time I see a lovely woman, I usually wonder what it would like to be her.

I'll toss this in too, in case anyone is wondering: If I am a TS, I don't think I am a "traditional" one (ie: known since the age of ~5). Sorry if that is stereotyping.

Has anyone here experienced anything similar? If so, how did you deal with it?

A lot of "us gurls" go through times of ebb and flow with CDing. Just like GGs, sometimes I don't want to be all pretty an sometimes I do.

If I had an accepting SO, I would dress 16/5. It would seem kind of silly putting on a chiffon gown and watching sports center

[Tina B.]

Why bother indeed, stop, don't wear anything feminine, get the polish off your toes, and man up! Now just wait and see how long it takes before you know why we bother. About a month, with out it, and I know why I dress, and it's not really a choice for me.
Tina B.

[ronni white]

That question for me falls between "why bother to breath" and "why bother to eat".... Answer... I have to... I'm not trying to be a woman.... And most of the time I don't look like one either.... I just enjoy wearing their stuff! Lol

I'm not wearing their stuff - it's all mine and I love it.

[Jenna Lynne]

I go through long periods when I feel that crossdressing is basically an expensive, time-consuming hobby that isolates me socially and gets in the way of other things I'd rather be doing.

[JohnH]

There's no wondering for me.

I have taken the COGIATI test and I scored 140 - PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL. My wife has told me that I am more feminine than she is. :)

Johanna

[Samantha43]

My desire comes and goes. It always has.

I'm strictly a crossdresser. I have no desire to be a woman, even though I REALLY like to wear womens clothing.

[Juliemckay]

There's no wondering for me.

I have taken the COGIATI test and I scored 140 - PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL. My wife has told me that I am more feminine than she is. :)

John

Mine:

Your COGIATI result value is: 155 Which means that you fall within the following category:
COGIATI classification FOUR, PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL

[bridgetta]

woman are attractive to me... all the things they do... shaving .. makeup etc..... in the dawn of time those things existed before one gender claimed them.... cd ing is beneneficial... its makes me balance... stand better.. slow down.. think.. look.... breathe.... it may be in my nature.. but i like the rebellion of social convention.... my own distortion is equalized..

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

For me I sometimes have wondered why bother, it's unusual and attracts some negative attention so why do it if I can choose not to? Well because whenever I see a girl in an outfit l like I think about how I'd look in it or how I could approximate a similar version that works on me better. It's not about wanting to look like a woman for me at all, in fact I don't care about that at all. I bother because I feel best when I'm wearing these clothes, and there's no doubt in my mind I'm happier now than I have been in a long time, because I'm wearing what I want and by extension being who I want to be.

[AllieSF]

I think that each of us has their level of dressing and presenting, or not, as a female. Maybe you have reached yours. I would recommend that you just go with the flow and see what happens. Don't wait for it or wonder, just live life as you like and if the urge arises go for it, slowly is better than diving back in, and see where it takes you. As others have said here, the urges and necessities, as well as the opportunities come and go. Don't fret about it, enjoy it and the rest of your life.

[bridgetta]

yeah.. its not a job... its fun

[Zoie]

It is fun and it is also a thing I can not stop either as many of us have tried again and again to end the need. I know I am wired different and thats just the end of story. As stated take it off throw it away and kudos to you if you can end it but for me its like "bills" they always come back!

My results on the COGIATI (http://transsexual.org/cogiati/index.php?lang=en)

Your COGIATI result value is: 165 Which means that you fall within the following category:
COGIATI classification FOUR, PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL


To the post on this is usless info maybe but it was fun to take it.. there are many useless things in this world.. thats what makes it interesting!

[Rachel05]

I think the best thing that happened to me regarding my cross dressing was when I stopped questioning "why" and just went with it for the joy it gives me

[ChanDelle]

It's not a bother. Just a way of experiencing who I am. Good question though!

ChanDelle

[bridgetta]

itsa quest for freedom

[JenniferB]

There's no wondering for me.
I have taken the COGIATI test and I scored 140 - PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL. My wife has told me that I am more feminine than she is. :)
John
Sorry, but that Cogiati test is basically useless. Doesn't really prove anything.

[BeckyAnderson]

For each of us the reasons are different. For me, I've never wanted to be a woman. Yet there is this unending desire, drive, instinct or whatever someone calls it, that dictates I express my feminine side by dressing as a woman. Hugs Becky

[Jilmac]

To me it's no bother at all

[suchacutie]

I also and not trying to "BE" a woman. I can't "BE" a woman...but...I can be feminine. A part of me IS that feminine person we have named Tina. I spend my time learning who she is. She is important to me because she is a part of me. There are times when I talk about her. There are times when I work to learn how to help her speak, think, act, and dress. I take care of the body that we share so Tina can make an appearance and be comfortable with this body.

And then there are the times the Tina makes an appearance. Those are the times where she lives her life, does the things that interest her, and watches those goofy chick-flicks with my wife. Ugh.

It's all a balance, and each of us has a different balance point, and that point inevitably changes with time and experience.

Be yourself. Enjoy both of your genders. It is a gift, even if the rest of society hasn't quite caught on to that point yet :)

[NikiMichelle]

Ditto what Karen H has to say!!!

[RADER]

I will through in with Karren and the others; I just like to ware womans clothes,
Especially bra's and anything Satan. And No, I do not want to be a woman, I
have been a male to long to start to learn how to be a woman now. LOL Rader

[Chacey]

for me i cant resist the feelings i get while dressed..

[Alice Torn]

Karren, I love wearing THEIR CLOTHES. Because most of what i have is from thrift stores! Second hand.

[TracyBoy]

for me i cant resist the feelings i get while dressed..
What kind of feelings? Do you have feminine feelings, or are you having sexual feelings?

I crossdress sometimes for the sexual arousal, but I also enjoy putting on feminine undies during the day just to be me!

[Juliemckay]

It is fun and it is also a thing I can not stop either as many of us have tried again and again to end the need. I know I am wired different and thats just the end of story. As stated take it off throw it away and kudos to you if you can end it but for me its like "bills" they always come back!

My results on the COGIATI (http://transsexual.org/cogiati/index.php?lang=en)



To the post on this is usless info maybe but it was fun to take it.. there are many useless things in this world.. thats what makes it interesting!

I would bet that almost every one of us on this site, would score a Probable Transsexual.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Not all. I took that test a while ago and I scored in the middle, an "androgyne". Of course it isn't really an acid test by any means and should be taken with a grain of salt, but for me their description was dead on.

[Davina-Alba]

That question for me falls between "why bother to breath" and "why bother to eat".... Answer... I have to... I'm not trying to be a woman.... And most of the time I don't look like one either.... I just enjoy wearing their stuff! Lol

That just about sums in up for me.

[TracyBoy]

I would bet that almost every one of us on this site, would score a Probable Transsexual.
Hi Julie! you are probably right. As for me, I'd love to be, if it would fit in with the life that I have right now. I really can't change the way things are for me. But probably, if i could be accepted as a woman, and be able to keep my sexual arrousal, then I'd ALWAYS like to wear the clothing of a woman, and act feminine when i want to, and not worry about if it is accepted.

[Jaclyn NM]

Once again, I agree with Karen, I don't want to be a woman, I just want to dress like one. I simply love wearing silky smooth clothing, and of course, very high heels. In all other aspects of my life, I"m totally male

[Polly R]

Why bother indeed, stop, don't wear anything feminine, get the polish off your toes, and man up! Now just wait and see how long it takes before you know why we bother. About a month, with out it, and I know why I dress, and it's not really a choice for me.
Tina B.

Hi Tina,

Quite agree with you on this one! It ebbs and flows and when it flows, well, there's only one answer - out with the underpinnings, stockings, frock, heels, wig and slap...

Dead right, 'IT' makes the decision for you and just complicates your life...

xx Polly R

[Kaz]

I always go through periods of "why bother"... but it always comes back, and as you get older it comes back quicker! I just accept it... so don't get rid of your stuff too quick, unless you are into new outfits... she'll be back!

[jessica renee]

I also sometimes just don't feel like dressing. But I couldn't give up dressing for good, I've tried. For me it is just a part of me that I can't turn off.

[charlie]

Hello Jay Cee!
Yes, I have purchased a new outfit, and still looked like a guy in a dress. What a disappointment. I then get rid of the outfit and wear one that I know looks good. However, the idea that you have placed, why do this if you can't look like we are trying to, is true. I have thought that if I can't look like a decent woman why bother. I always end up buying a new outfit and starting over. Life would be easier without all of this!

[Zoe Preston]

Hi Jay Cee, Interesting question.

By now you've probably read that everyone has there own level of CD'ing. We each have our own comfort zone.

You've been lucky enough to have to opportunity to go 'all-out' whenever you want? You've binged girl :eek: Lucky you, but would you want your favourite meal every day for a month? Sometimes it's the abstinence that heightens the pleasure...

Zoe

[shawnsheila]

I got a -40 on the COGIATI and it said this:
COGIATI classification THREE, ANDROGYNE

Not sure I agree with it as I primarily identify as a male and just like to cross dress because it feels good or feels right. Don't get me wrong, when I cross dress, I go all out, get into character and try to look/sound/act like a genetic woman, but I identify as a male and I like having a penis.

I don't know how to explain it but, it just feels right or good when I cross dress. Sometime I do it for kink but thats not the primary reason I do it. I do enjoy dolling myself up (even though it take some prep time) its just fun, exciting and feels right and thats why I do it :)

[Maria 60]

I try to dress as much as i can but its hard to totally dress, takes a lot of time to dress and takes a lot of time to clean up. Always worried going to leave something behind.

[TracyBoy]

I got a -40 on the COGIATI and it said this:
COGIATI classification THREE, ANDROGYNE

Not sure I agree with it as I primarily identify as a male and just like to cross dress because it feels good or feels right. Don't get me wrong, when I cross dress, I go all out, get into character and try to look/sound/act like a genetic woman, but I identify as a male and I like having a penis.

I don't know how to explain it but, it just feels right or good when I cross dress. Sometime I do it for kink but thats not the primary reason I do it. I do enjoy dolling myself up (even though it take some prep time) its just fun, exciting and feels right and thats why I do it :)


Maybe Shawn, the test isn't too far off base. You see, I got the EXACT same score as you- and I feel the same way as you. I like having a penis, and it feels "right" wearing female clothes. I think the explanation for us is just too complex for any particular test. One thing that I'm learning- I feel better about myself each day. And by communicating with others like myself(Here for example) really makes me feel "normal." Don't worry-be happy! Actually people like us truly are lucky!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I also was scored as Androgyne, I did that test a few years ago and got a similar result, and I think it's a fairly accurate one for me, and it explains why I like dressing the way I do, which is somewhere between boy and girl. I think that I'm slightly more "male" mentally, but not by much and that my girl side is definitely strong. I feel like I've really made an effort in the last few years especially to stop thinking of it as two distinct sides of myself though and instead just this blend is a part of my overall personality.

[Tina B.]

Polly, You are right " 'IT' makes the decision for you and just complicates your life..." Life would be so much easier with out this need, but on the other hand< like so many others, I would never seek a cure, it's to big a part of me to give up, not sure I would know myself without it.
Tina B.

[Debglam]

Mine:

Your COGIATI result value is: 155 Which means that you fall within the following category:
COGIATI classification FOUR, PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL

Ebbs and flows is probably the best way to describe my desire to dress. What I am trying to figure out is why, after 30+ years of having these feelings my desire to dress went through the roof and I actually did it??? Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing? It is funny because I had tons of opportunity to dress when I was younger (single, own apartment, etc) and now I have almost no opportunity. Seems like a cruel joke.

I'm trying to get my arms around all of this and had never heard of this COGIATI test, and frankly, was a little scared of what it would tell me. I just took it and came up with a -230, "Feminine Male." :eek: I would guess this is probably close to accurate but I have to question the validity of the test. The questions just seemed a little too obvious (and stereotyping at times). Reminded me of a test I once took for a military program I was applying for:

On a given afternoon, you would rather:
a) Pick daisies.
b) Write poetry.
c) Read subversive literature.
d) Blow sh*t up.

Wonder what the "correct" answer is???:doh:

Debby

[Cathy J]

I too am a very senior hetero crossdresser. I sure can't look like a woman. I certainly don't know what a GG feels like. I have no desire to go out or try to "pass". I definitely don't consider dressing "a bother". I do know I don't want to be "cured" and sincerely ENJOY HELL out of dressing in FEMALE CLOTHES. And I'm with Karren. Dresses and skirts only. NO JEANS OR SLACKS!

Love the feeling,