I did it!

[JennyA]

I'm getting ready to transition soon and so I've been taking small baby steps on certain things to ease my way into them. One of the things I was most scared of was going out in public with female clothes on while I am still obviously a man. Last night I went to CVS dressed in denim jeggings, a white blouse, makeup on, and a very feminine necklace. I bought makeup. I wasn't nervous at all and loved it. A strange man at one point stopped me and asked me if I knew where they kept the rubbers. I don't know if he asked me because of how I looked or if he honestly wanted to know.

Today I went to the gym with my newly epilated legs shining and wore short purple female workout shorts. I got odd looks from the older people, a couple people looked mad, but I got a great workout in. I even walked around in the locker room with my pink toenails showing.

My first two outings couldn't have went more perfectly. I am on cloud 9 and I can't wait to put on some makeup and go run some errands today. Life is a vibrant spectacular experience and I love it!

[Steph.TS]

Congrats, that must have been very liberating, and exciting. :)

[Rianna Humble]

Well done Jenny! The first times out take an awful lot of courage, but you don't forget them in a hurry. :thumbsup:

I look forward to reading more of your experiences and to sharing in the ups and downs of your transition. :hugs:

[thechic]

Good on you, first time is hardest but it does get easier

[JennyA]

Thanks for the replies. It was liberating and now I know I can do this. For real. I can actually be happy and that is an amazing thing, I never thought I'd have the courage to go this far and I can't wait to see what's next.

[Laura_Stephens]

Congrats, Jenny!

[TracyBoy]

Thanks for the replies. It was liberating and now I know I can do this. For real. I can actually be happy and that is an amazing thing, I never thought I'd have the courage to go this far and I can't wait to see what's next.

Congrats Jenny! You sure have more guts than most of us. No matter what the future holds I think that I am right in saying that you are a beautiful woman- and not just your looks, but your personality! Hugs.

[Faith_G]

Congratulations! :)

[Carole Cross]

Congrats Jenny :hugs:

[JennyA]

You know what's silly. I am most scared of teenage boys. They are so immature and if in a group are probably the ones that will laugh out loud with each other and mock me. Being a 30 year old who has been through hell and back in my 20's with depression and thoughts of suicide I truly don't think the opinions of some kids who haven't seen anything of the world yet should matter, but maybe it's a throw back to being a teenager myself and the insecurities.

The best defense I have is the epiphany I had on my 30th birthday last year when I made the decision to really do this. I was standing on a balcony looking down and thinking to myself that if I wasn't going to take the steps and become a woman then my life would be filled with sadness, drugs to cover the sadness, homelessness, and ruined relationships. I thought to myself that living like that to old age would be torture and I should just end it now and see what's on the other side. Another voice, who I think of as my maker or Gaia, told me simply and it made sense..."Well John, if you're planning on ending it all, why not try the female route first. If you start and can't handle the looks and reactions from family members and it doesn't work out you can always find a cliff next year, but you must know that your choice is final. Their is no happiness or sadness waiting for you if you jump, in fact their will be nothing at all and you will never know what could have been. So at least give it a try. Weigh these two options and the choice is simple.

It was a amazing moment and my whole body filled with joy. I knew the choice without thinking about it. Why should I care what a random man at a drug store thinks of me. This is my life and I only get one. I only get this one chance to experience the joy that is to be alive and breathing. How can I let anyone else's opinion of who I am push me to hurt myself.

[~Emma D~]

Congratulations Jenny :)
Its such a lovely feeling being out in the world the way you should be.
Take care, especially around teenagers, but dont let them scare you