I don't feel ready!

[jamey]

So, I go out every week to my favorite glbt friendly club, and tonight I really want to do it for the first time en femme. The problem is that I've never gone out in public fully dressed, and I don't feel like I have everything I need. I feel like I'm emotionally ready for this step, but I kind of wish there was a checklist or something that I could run through. For example, it's cold out and I don't have a ladies jacket! Does anyone have any tips or suggestions?

[bethw]

Hi Jamey;
If you have a pee coat or longer leather jacket you'll be fine. If that's you in the avetar you have nothing to worry about. You're beautiful. Go and have a great time.
Hugs
Beth

[ReineD]

For example, it's cold out and I don't have a ladies jacket! Does anyone have any tips or suggestions?

Jamey, get a coat before you go out. You could pick one up at a second hand store if you wish. A tell tale sign for me is if someone just doesn't dress appropriately for the circumstances, even if the circumstances are only weather related.

[ChristiesGurl]

Get thee to the Goodwill and find you some weather appropriate clothing that you will be comfortable in. Here's a little checklist:

Wig
Shave arms, underarms, legs and have someone shave your back if you are hairy and it will be exposed
Make up (foundation, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick)
breast forms
bra, panties, hose or garter belt and stockings if you plan to wear a dress
Top (have you taken note of what any of the CD's or Girly Girls wear at the club, if so, for your first outing go for blending in)
bottom (skirt? jeans?)
or Dress
heels or boots
purse
jewelry (earrings, necklace, bracelet, watch)
manicure (or fake nails)
paint toe nails if your shoes show your toes

Did I leave anything out???

[AKAMichelle]

You will always find things that you didn't prepare for. Do the best you can and go with it. You will be fine and hopefully you will have a blast. Good luck to you.

[jamey]

Thanks everyone! I think there are some nice peacoats on sale at walmart. The local second hand shop has already closed for the night. I do have plenty of outfits, shoes, and makeup. The other thing I didn't think about was a purse! I knew I would forget stuff lol. I wish I had a wig, but then again I do have girly hair. Man I never knew this would be such a big step! Thanks again for all the advice... I need to run to walmart now!

[ChristiesGurl]

Oh gosh. I didn't know you meant TONIGHT! HAVE FUN!!!!!!

[Karren H]

I don't think any of us considered ourselves ready before we went out.... I sure didn't. The key is just go, hold your head up, smile and have a great time...

[NicoleScott]

The first step is the hardest.
Once I finally got brave enough to take that first step out the door, it got a little easler, but it never got mundane. It was always fear, excitement, anticipation and other emotions all rolled up into one. Finally, I took the next first step, not out but IN, to a tg-friendly club. It turns out that there was nothing to fear, It was fun and exciting. Go for it.

[KristinSkye]

As some others have said the first step is truly the hardest IMO. I put off going out dressed for the same reason; I just never felt I had everything I needed to go out and not have to worry about getting hassled. Anyways if you're looking for a checklist of sorts I think Christie's list is pretty thorough. But if it helps here is what I personally absolutely had to have before I could muster the courage to go out for the first time:

- A complete outfit that works for the weather and time of year. Nothing overly flashy, something to blend in with the crowd.
- A decent wig and set of breast forms.
- Shaving any area of the body that was overly hairy and going to be exposed (underarms, face, legs).
- A handbag.
- A halfway decent looking makeup job.
- Painted toes (if they're going to be exposed).
- Oh, and a good tuck job; that was pretty important to me :o

It also sounds like you've got some advantages going for you already in that you're familiar with the place that you want to go dressed, and that place also happens to be TG friendly. Also from your avatar you look very passable to me so even if you're not as presentable as you may want to be I don't think you should have anything to worry about :)

Anyways good luck girl, I hope you can get out there soon! Make sure to tell us all about it when you do :hugs:

[KristinSkye]

I don't think any of us considered ourselves ready before we went out.... I sure didn't. The key is just go, hold your head up, smile and have a great time...

That is excellent advice as well. To be honest even after I checked off everything on my list I still had to just stop thinking about what else I might be missing and just take that first step out the door.

[jamey]

So I'm glad I did it! I had people that I have been hanging out with for months re-introduce themselves to me lol. It felt so natural that I forgot I was wearing a dress! Not only did people not react poorly, but they gave me compliments! To think I've been missing out on this my whole life. Thanks for the nudges in the right direction, and thanks for the checklists. I did have to grab a few last minute things. The only thing is, even though I LOVE good shoes, I'll be wearing flats next time :) my feet are screaming at me.

[jamey]

Oh and I failed to mention that when I went out for a jacket and a purse I got a new dress :)... I couldn't resist, skulls are cute! This is what I wore on my first ever public venture en femme!

http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/6334/photoon20101224at03447.jpg

[Lexine]

When you go out, have your shoulders back, chest out. But not too much like you're trying to poke your chest at someone! Roll your hips when you walk (if you're wearing heels, you'll be doing this anyway), chin up high, think that you can rule the world and that no one's gonna stop you, and make sure you have a jacket or something for the cold weather. And for crying out loud don't forget your ID!

[Maria in heels]

Cute dress and a Cute YOU !

[Sally24]

Good for you! I'm glad you finally got OUT into the real world. The first couple of years of going out I always had a paper checklist that I used before I left the house. Several times I almost left without packing important things like WIG!.....SHOES...........BREASTS!!:eek:

I find one of the most important things is a purse that has separate compartments. If you throw everything into a big bag, you're always digging thru it trying to find something. That will ruin any nail job you've spent time or money getting.

I almost always bring 2 pairs of shoes. If one pair starts to hurt you can switch to a different or lower heeled pair that will be a little kinder to your feet. Until you can afford or find heels that don't hurt, you'll have to put up with a little discomfort. Probably less than half my shoes are really comfortable. All of them are cute though!

Enjoy your newfound freedom!!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Looks like it's too late to give you my version of your checklist, because you already went out, so congrats!

My list in case you want it for academic purposes is as follows.

-Confidence.

That's it.

(CUUUTE dress by the way!)

[docrobbysherry]

Congrats, Jamey! You've "broken the ice". Now, u need to perfect your "swim wear"! Lol!

Cute heels will make u look and feel more fem. They naturally help your posture! U simply need ones that FIT BETTER! DON'T switch to yucky flats just yet!

I have some 4"+ maryjanes that I wore comfortably for DAYS at the SCC. Others, I could only stand for the evening. Others, for an hour!
Now, you've got good REASONS to go shopping, girl! So GO!

[Jenna Stunned]

Congratulations Jamey, Im very happy to hear that everything went so well for you. That first step is a DOOZY:eek:, lol. One that I still haven't taken myself. Oh and thats a really cute dress. It looks really good on you. Sounds like now that you've done it once there will be MANY more trips out for you in the future. Make sure to keep us informed.:)

[jamey]

Woohoo! The rush still hasn't faded. This is going to be a great Christmas....by the way, happy holidays everyone! Thanks for all of your compliments and for giving me a good reason to go shopping for more shoes! Maybe I'll find some that work better for me for next time.... because there WILL be a next time for sure. Anyone who hasn't gone out dressed is REALLY REALLY REALLY missing out, and there is absolutely no reason for it!