Laughter as medicine

[Starla]

There are a lot of very witty people on this forum, as well as many funny tales of ironies, bloopers, "oops" moments, and downright bizarre situations. I often find myself grinning, chuckling, or even laughing out loud at some of the posts.

Any individual's gender journey can be fraught with ups and downs, setbacks, frustrations, embarrassments, confusion, and despair. (As can life in general.) I've dealt with all of the above, and then some, and I think the only reason I'm sitting at home typing this, instead of sitting in a padded room, wearing a nice white jacket (with extra-long sleeves) and placated by lots of wonderful pharmaceuticals, is that I have always tried to see the humor in everything.

When I was first starting to explore my gender feelings, an early mentor (the first person I ever crossdressed in front of) told me, "if you can't look at yourself in the mirror when you're halfway through transforming -- at that weird hybrid not-quite-man/not-yet-woman creature staring back -- and have a good laugh, you're taking all of this way too seriously!"

To what extent have you used humor and the ability to laugh at yourself to cope with all the potholes and pitfalls along your gender road?

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

This is an easy one for me, because I work as a professional comedian, but I will definitely say that my ability to write and perform material about this part of myself has everything to do with how I was finally able to come to terms with it and go public about it. The fact that I can make others laugh with me about it instead of laugh at me about it means a lot from me and helps me feel in control of my situation. There's a certain power that comes from standing in front of a room full of people and knowing that they don't quite know how to process it and then taking them on the journey with me.

[donnalee]

If you couldn't laugh, you'd have to cry.:sad: This has been a really tough year for me & my SO; if we couldn't find humor in it, you'd probably be hearing about us on the evening news.:heehee:

[Karren H]

Humor is what I live for... and ice hockey..... you should hear us in the locker room after a loosing game.... we are some of the funniest, naked, tired, old people on the planet..... :D

[Starla]

If you couldn't laugh, you'd have to cry.:sad: This has been a really tough year for me & my SO; if we couldn't find humor in it, you'd probably be hearing about us on the evening news.:heehee:

Makes me think of an old M*A*S*H episode in which one of the brass criticizes Hawkeye for constantly making jokes. He responds, "Well, what do you expect? It's the only way I can open my mouth without screaming." I've thought of that line often in caring for my invalid Mother as she has deteriorated through the years.

I hope you and your SO work it all out. Temper everything with humor, and steep it all in love.

[Cassandra Lynn]

We lead interesting lives don't we?

I had another one of those interesting oopsy moments a week ago. Was over at my dad's house visiting for the weekend. I took my laundry over to wash and after putting a load of panties, hose and such in the dryer i took off with the dog to go birdhunting not thinking he might want to use the washer and dryer too.

I got back about 3 hrs later and he asked me about my day in the field, so as i was telling him about it i walked to the back bedroom to change out of my wet clothes, and in a pile on the floor was all my lingerie. UMMM, OOPSY!

We continued to chat and i went back out to the living room and sat down across from him, and there's nothing in his demeanor to show that he thought anything of it.
And no, he doesn't think they might belong to my girlfriend, as we had covered my lack of a love life the night before over dinner.
I could have easily overstressed it, but since he didn't seem bothered by it, i just laughed it off as one of those things. Could have been much worse, like the time i'm sitting in front of the TV and my ex-wife walks into the room with my old worn out stockings dangling from her fingers. I had forgotten to fully dispose of them after chucking them in the bathroom wastebasket.
Then again i do find it humorous today.

Also this week i went to my AA meeting and found that 2 of the members were crossdressed as nurses to go visit another member who was home recooperating from surgery. They were of course not CDs but were doing it for fun.
I was really hysterical with laughter watching all this and thinking of how much help i could have been!

Thanx for the thread Starla, and your right, when used appropriately laughter is powerful medicine.

Cassie

[Kathi Lake]

I love laughing - at life, at the absurdity of it all, but mostly at myself. I mean, I'm such an easy target!! :)

Hmmm, I'm in great shape, my cholesterol is lower than my wife's, my stress level is in the basement - this whole "laughter as medicine" thing must be true! Maybe I should tell my wife to hold off on her latest clinical trial and instead study the efficacy of laughter.

:)

Kathi

[AllieSF]

They always say that "laughter is the best medicine, except when playing golf!" After I let off a lot of steam I can then resume my humorous search for that elusive par. My mom was very pragmatic and a lot of that has rubbed off on me. So, I look at things and situations logically and make the best pragmatic decision and then laugh at my errors later when I realize what happened. I love humor and wit and use it all the time while out dressed and having fun in the real world. Life is just too short to be too serious and upset all the time.

[Breanne]

..... you should hear us in the locker room after a loosing game....

I've heard of losing a game, winning a game and tying a gaime....but loosing a game, what's that?

[Starla]

.....you should hear us in the locker room after a loosing game....


I've heard of losing a game, winning a game and tying a gaime....but loosing a game, what's that?

That's when, in the middle of the game, everything falls apart!

For that matter, Breanne, what's a "gaime?" (OK, this is officially "Everybody Make Fun of Everyone Else's Typos Day.") :D

[makin' it real]

(OK, this is officially "Everybody Make Fun of Everyone Else's Typos Day.") :D

So then should that be "typo's" to indicate the shortening of "typographical errors"? :tongueout



...and I think the only reason I'm sitting at home typing this, instead of sitting in a padded room, wearing a nice white jacket (with extra-long sleeves) and placated by lots of wonderful pharmaceuticals, is that I have always tried to see the humor in everything.

Oh, boy am I with you Starla! Early in my psychology training I was working in a halfway house for people with both addictions and severe mental illness. I was highly disturbed by the similarities between me and my life history and one of my clients and his life history. On the surface we shared many, many traits, abilities, and stories. So I asked my supervisor why he was "crazy" and I "wasn't."

She said it's because I could laugh at myself. Then she followed that up with a list of specific psychological processes required to be able to laugh at ourselves, and described how those tend to be healthy processes, but the bottom line difference between pathology and healthy functioning, she said, comes from being able to admit making mistakes and not having them destroy us.

That's part of why I love that I am so easily amused (because then I get to make so many mistakes). :)

~Rachel

[Proteus]

I bet it's true. I can't think of a bigger PITA than people who take themselves too seriously.

[Annaliese2010]

if you can't... have a good laugh, you're taking all of this way too seriously!...humor and the ability to laugh at yourself...What a wonderful life affirming post Starla. And your writing skills are amazing! I took the liberty to distill or extract from your message what is a really important thing I need to try to remember. Attitude impacts overall health - Not that I'm not healthy - Just that to STAY healthy this is important to keep in mind. So many studies have shown. Good scientific ones - where hormones and what not are measured - the healthy blood chemistries correlate with good humor and healthy attitude i.e. be dutiful & responsible, and strive to advance & improve, but don't take eeenything as though it's so god-awful important it gets your panties in a bunch. So true! Sometimes kinda hard to separate yourself from the drama, or stop yourself from creating it, but gotta keep trying to be cool, laidback, take a back seat and just DROP the micromanagement or freaky sensitivity to....what EVer. Can ya tell why your message resonated with me? Lol... I need to remind myself of that very basic, seemingly simple yet very important fact more often.

[Jilmac]

For as long as I can remember I have always found humorous situations in everyday life. As a fan of a wide variety of comedy such as parody, farce, slapstick, standup, satire, and my favorite puns, I have managed to keep my sanity while struggling through life questioning my gender identity, by applying a generous dose of laughs.

[docrobbysherry]

When U get as old as a few of us codg-girls r, YOU'LL GET IT!:eek:

CRAP! OK, stop begging! I'll TELL U!:brolleyes:

The real JOKE,--------------------------------- IS LIFE!:devil:

[denese013]

If not for my sense of humor,I'd have no sense at all.

[the_me]

When life throws lemons in your face, you take those lemons, and re-sell them for $1.50/lb!

Yep, there is nothing more important than a good sense of humor. I laugh at my own ridiculous antics all the time, and wouldn't have it any other way!

[Annaliese2010]

The real JOKE,--------------------------------- IS LIFE!:devil:Lol..I think I know whatchure sayin...like in Hamlet's soliloquy. Ah but excusez-moi doteur sherry...if so... my only question is: If WE (collectively) are the jokEE... WHO da jokER?? And Why he (or she, or it or them) be jokin round with us? :daydreaming:

[Alice Torn]

As one who has been emotionally tortured all my life by family, and bi-polar, I have struggled with taking myself way too seriously, all my life, paranoid, Silly as a goose at times, themn down and morose, like my dad. I wish i could be silly and laugh more often, but, i tend to laugh at bizarre, childish things, like Popeye muttering, 3 stooges, Laurel and Hardy. I truly need to laugh more. One time when out fully dressed, i let it be known to the cashiers, and others around, that i was cd'd. I laughed that time, felt great about it. Now, if only I can forget the bad stuff more.

[eluuzion]

“The highest form of intelligence is creativity, and one of the highest forms of creativity is humor.”

My father was critically abusive, never gave me one hug, never once told me he loved me and never once told me that he was proud of me for anything I ever did. He consistently make a point to tell me that whatever I was doing or I had done, was always the “wrong” thing. He always ended every “lecture” by “reminding” me of two things…

1) “There is always a “right” and a “wrong” way to do anything/everything in life.”

2) “I needed to start taking life seriously”

Fortunately, I never believed either one of those statements, nor have I ever found any logic in my life to support either statement.:daydreaming:

Personal experiences have convinced me that humor can have a major impact on any outcome related to wellness/illness, hope/despair, stagnation/progression, monotony/creativity and overall sense of well-being.

In my opinion, life is all about one thing…perception. Humor is a powerful tool. It can change perspective…which can change perception, which can change anything & everything.

So, I think anyone that knows me would say 'yes', I take humor very seriously...:D:brolleyes::D

"Life is far too important to be taken seriously." Oscar Wilde

:love:

Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humorhttp://aath.org/index.html

[Lena Teegal]

Oh plenty, my wife included she refers to my nether regions (as Lena) as PV (Pretend Vagina), and she'll say why don't you put on your boobs and clean the house. It always makes me laugh. I always believed we are what we are and while we need to be careful it's just not that serious. We wear dresses, nobody dies because we where a dress (I don't mean tragic instances perpetrated by intolerant assholes), I mean we aren't hurting anyone directly. If we someone close to us is hurt by it that is not our fault that is there hangup, and we just need to do the best we can to support them while at the same time be ourselves.

OK OK I took what could have been humorous and turned it serious, I'll stand in the corner now.

[Sarah Doepner]

I worked for years with law enforcement and emergency responders and the ones who survived and had relatively normal lives outside work were the ones with the best sense of humor. It was often black humor that most outsiders would find crass, inappropriate or mean-spirited, but it allowed them to blow off steam from most recent tragedy they had shared and put things in perspective. While our disasters and tragedies are usually nothing as extreme as what they see, they are ours. If you hold these experiences close they drive you nuts. If you laugh at them, life improves with the distance your smile provides. Doc R is right, life is a joke, but it's more of a long, drawn out shaggy dog story that can be fun all the way through to the final groan.

The other old saying we need to remember is "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." We need community and laughter is a great way to build that connection and get the support we all benefit from.

[Olivia2]

Thanks Starla and to all the others here who remind me of the importance of not taking myself too seriously, which lately I have found myself doing too frequently for my own good, even just a few minutes before reading these posts. Well now I feel just silly, which is the whole point being made here, isn't it.

[Christinedreamer]

[QUOTE=makin' it real;2359712]So then should that be "typo's" to indicate the shortening of "typographical errors"? :tongueout

Sorry to disappoint you, but the apostrophe indicates a possessive state, not a plurality. 'Jane's' indicates something belonging to Jane while 'Janes' indicates multiple individuals named Jane. Ergo, 'typos' is the correct plural form of 'typo'.

Class dismissed.

[Misti]

Eluuzion wrote: (Quote) In my opinion, life is all about one thing…perception. Humor is a powerful tool. It can change perspective…which can change perception, which can change anything & everything.

So, I think anyone that knows me would say 'yes', I take humor very seriously...

‘Life is far too important to be taken seriously.’ Oscar Wilde (End Quote)
Hi all,
This thread’s got me thinking how serious, pun definitely intended, being humorous in, and at life, really is to us. I mean seriously, ladies. I have a first hand story to relate, if you'll allow me a moment of your time?
I used to teach SAC Combat Aircrews SAC TAC Doctrine and Air Weapons (you know the big stuff that goes boom, and blows up Russia in the process)? I used to teach my classes by telling jokes and showing them “girlie slides” (come to think of it, some of those girlie slides with their "circuit breakers” popping out just may have been Cders, Um?), because what could I teach those "old fuddy-duddy Pros" that they hadn't heard before, "stuff" that hadn't changed one iota over the past 6-10 years? Tough group, I'll tell you that, for sure! During the classes I'd tell’em 2 jokes, if they'd tell me a new one I hadn't heard before. They didn’t even know they were being taught, yet we had the highest ratings you could get during any subsequent inspections by CEG’s, IG’s, et al.
To make a long story, longer, my boss back in the States and on 3 SEA deployments to Guam, an alcoholic of the first magnitude, and an A-hole of the 33rd Degree, who was personally responsible for costing me my promotion to L/C, walked in on me at my desk during my in-country SEA tour with the 307th Strategic Wing (SAC), at U-tapao, Thailand, one fine day. Without looking up, I mumbled some unintelligible reply to his "Hi," and said under my breath, "you're a dead man, sir!" You see it would have cost me only $5US to hire a hit-man at the time, no questions asked, either? To shorten the story, he went on to retire, like I did; only he died of sclerosis of the liver, under very painful conditions, I'm told, within a year of his retirement! I got my vindication, finally.
Well, the moral of this story is that this drunk cost me “7 painful years of lost humor” before I could even “remember the punch line of a joke,” not the joke mind you, but only the punch line. A major accomplishment for me came, as I got my very first laugh, after that span of time, because I actually did remember the punch line of a joke, you see? Yep, true story! Point being, I had won the highest Safety award the Air Force had ever given an individual up to that time, and he had kept the paperwork that was personally endorsed to me by 7 Generals in his desk drawer for 3 weeks after it had arrived on Guam, back when I was working for him TDY there. I knew this only because of the date-time stamps that were affixed to each signature page! He never even presented it to me, nor endorsed it either, ergo, this story of woe. Alas, my USAF 3’ high trophy sits in an Air museum to this very day.
P.S. Fond memories, I've got 40 of those "Buff launches" to my credit, proud to say! I invite you to enjoy a nostalgic visit to that time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SsRiB0WIhs&NR=1
Nothing gets to me any more now, I know this to be true, because I just very recently had an extremely traumatic experience related to CDing happen to me. As a result, and being a CD newbie, like all "good girls" do when they're upset, I went shopping for my very first girl's outfit the very next day? Proudly, I slipped into a size 14 skirt, got swamped by a 44-B incredibly beautiful black bra, and laughed my head off the whole time joking with those fabulous SA's, each and every one of them in two different “woman's stores.” I've never ever had such a great time shopping before - let alone for woman's clothes - in my entire life. BTW I'm going for my first make-over ASAP.
Note. Since I'm deeply ensconced, totally ‘SO-hidden” and “closet-bound,” may I respectfully request your “prayers of success” for me on this one?
Moral. I'll do my best to never ever let anything "seriously affect me" ever again that I can't just shake it off right then and there, and get right on with the fun of living this glorious new CD life, the one that I've only just this year found out about? "Oooee doggie! It was Scary, Exciting, Rewarding, Exhilarating, all wrapped up in one neat package. What took me so long?" :brolleyes:
Happy New “CDing” Year, ya'll. :battingeyelashes:

[Starla]

So then should that be "typo's" to indicate the shortening of "typographical errors"? :tongueout

Sorry to disappoint you, but the apostrophe indicates a possessive state, not a plurality. 'Jane's' indicates something belonging to Jane while 'Janes' indicates multiple individuals named Jane. Ergo, 'typos' is the correct plural form of 'typo'.

Class dismissed.

I tend to be a little pedantic about punctuation and grammar, though it's a bit hypocritical, as I have my own quirks. (I tend, for example, to use what some might consider superfluous commas.) But nothing sticks in my craw like the abuse, misuse, and overuse of the apostrophe. :angry:

You have to let it go. As a college professor who taught Freshman English once remarked: "If someone reaches the age of 18, utterly convinced that the plural form of the pronoun 'it' is formed with an apostrophe, nothing you say will ever disabuse them of the notion." :bonk:

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I tend to be a little pedantic about punctuation and grammar, though it's a bit hypocritical, as I have my own quirks. (I tend, for example, to use what some might consider superfluous commas.) But nothing sticks in my craw like the abuse, misuse, and overuse of the apostrophe. :angry:

You have to let it go. As a college professor who taught Freshman English once remarked: "If someone reaches the age of 18, utterly convinced that the plural form of the pronoun 'it' is formed with an apostrophe, nothing you say will ever disabuse them of the notion." :bonk:

As someone with a B.A. in English I'm hopefully not derailing the thread too much, but it's funny you use that example because I actually had that exact problem, though it was more an issue of working too fast through my writing sometimes and not always thinking about my word choice, but I had a writing professor who made it a point of breaking me of that "it's" habit. Then a year later I was in another of her classes and I did it once in a story, and in this case it was totally a typo, but she circled it and said "still?"

I tend to overuse commas too, but my big pet peeve in others is the improper usage of "too, two, to," "there, their, they're" or "your, you're." It drives me bonkers.

In general though I tend to not dwell on grammar mistakes on forum posts or social networking sites because first off if I did I'd never get anything else done, but also because it is very informal writing and as long as someone clearly gets their point across I'm ok. I occasionally notice a mistake I've made, and don't think it doesn't drive me nuts when I do and can't go back and fix it, but I hate when I see grammar mistakes on signs that businesses present to the public, or in the newspaper, or on actual website copy. Hate it!

[SuzanneBender]

I am posting this despite the enormous fear and worry that I may make a typographical error or worse yet a grammatical error. I am afraid that my simple Kansas public education will pale under the scrutiny of the watchful eyes of those more talented with their prose.

Starla I will attempt to place your thread back on the rails of its original intended purpose. I love this thread! It is so upbeat, happy and correct. We do take ourselves way too seriously. Life is a precious fleeting gift. I feel so alive when I smile, giggle and laugh.

[t-girlxsophie]

when you have seen a CDer scramble over a second floor ledge,dressed in tartan mini and 4"high heel boots,into a hotel bedroom,you know Its good sometimes to have a laugh at yourself,Crossdressing can be so much fun:)

:hugs:Sophie