first post and telling my fiance

[kristen123]

Hey gals I just told my fiance about my crossdressing and she suprised me by being all for it lol :) she accepts me for who I am and fully understands I'm soooooo excited now I have to find time to take some pictures to post :D

[Katesback]

Because she is as you put it accepting today does not mean tomarrow or a week from now or the rest of the future will hold the same story. Add to the fact that crossdressing typically escalates over time and becomes increasingly more a part of your life I would suggest you are a bit premature in your feelings.

Katie

[danaillecd]

take it slow. let her allow you to express your fem side as she seems fit. dont push it on her and always stay open with her about your dressing

[makin' it real]

Because she is as you put it accepting today does not mean tomarrow or a week from now or the rest of the future will hold the same story. Add to the fact that crossdressing typically escalates over time and becomes increasingly more a part of your life I would suggest you are a bit premature in your feelings.

Katie

Wow. Katie. Just wow. Way to throw a wet blanket on her good news! Please consider being a bit gentler. I think we all get it that things change in life. Let's celebrate the things we can.

Kristen, welcome, and congratulations! It sounds like you've got a real peach of a fiance. That's great that she accepts your CDing, and it's even better that it sounds like she fully accepts and loves YOU! How wonderful.

You took a really big chance and risked a lot in telling her, and I respect you for the courage it took to do so. Well done. And especially to tell her before getting married. That says a lot about who you are, how important she is to you, and how much you want to be fully open and honest with her in your marriage. Kudo's, my friend.

Congrat's too on getting up the courage to make your first posting on here. I see you joined back in March, so I'm guessing you've been reading about other people's experiences in coming out to their SOs. It seems like you've taken some of the suggestions to heart, which led to you telling your fiance now.

Welcome to the community, and I look forward to hearing much more from you!

[Presh GG]

I think Katie may not have said it as lightly as she could but Kristen's post does sound a little[ alot ! ] like a freight train fueled by pink fog.

Take it slow Kristen, answer all questions honestly and fully. Ask her if she wants to talk about it.
Remember this is all new to her.

Congratulations , your honesty now will pay off big time. I too admire you .
A tip, if your lover takes Your picture, you might want to do the same for Her .

Best wishes,
Presh GG

[Rianna Humble]

I'm with Rachel on this one. Just because Kristen is excited that her girlfriend accepts her is no reason either to assume she is a runaway train or to throw a wet blanket over her.

The words of caution were almost certainly well meant, but we need to consider each others' feelings here as well. We often counsel members to respect the feelings of their SO, but members have feelings too.

The OP was an opportunity to rejoice with Kristen and whilst doing that, to offer words of caution gently and with consideration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristen, I'm really happy that you have found such acceptance from your girlfriend. I'm sure that if you remain sensitive to her feelings (which also means looking beyond her words sometimes) and continue to communicate openly with her that you will have many opportunities to include your girlfriend in all parts of your life. Have you worked out what unexpected sign of affection you will use to thank her for making you so happy?

[Roberta Marie]

Kristen,

Both you and your Fiance are to be lauded, you for having the courage to talk to her about this, and her for not running away screaming. I have to agree with the others, though, about taking it slow. But most important, I think, is to keep the communication channels open. Remember that the most important part of communication is listening. I suspect that your Fiance has many mixed feelings and questions. Listen to her. Allow her to express herself. Answer her questions honestly. She sounds like a keeper, don't let the pink fog blind you from reality and screw things up.

Grace,
Bobbi

[Presh GG]

You are right , I was wrong, sorry.

Have fun Kristen, Your GF is a jewel.

Presh GG

[kristen123]

Thank you all for the advice we are taking it slow one step at a time I guess I did get a little excited lol

[Samantha43]

Congratulations Kristen! That is wonderful! I hope you and your fiance have a wonderful life together.

A little advice from one whom has been there. Please take it slowly. What Katie and Presh GG said does have some merit. I told my wife before we were married. She was greatful that I was honest with her, but it took her a little while to get comfortable with the whole idea of being married to a crossdresser. I set limitations on myself and was always conscious of her feelings. We have been married for 22 years and I still wouldn't trade her for the world. I still have self imposed limitations, even though they have been relaxed a bit over the years.

Your fiance sounds like a wonderful woman. Listen to her feelings, discuss your feelings, and keep communication open. Pay attention to her non verbal communication. It can sometimes tell you more than verbal communication.

We crossdressers tend to be a selfish bunch. Don't fall into that trap. Her feelings are as important as your desire to dress. Make sure you are the man she loves!

I wish you both the best!

Sami

[BLUE ORCHID]

Kristen, CAUTION Subject to change without notice.

Orchid

[Tasha McIntyre]

Good for you Kristen, hope it all goes well from here. Give yourself a pat on the back for telling your fiance.

It's easy for us to wander into a bit of pink fog after gaining initial acceptance from our partners. The fog can be very hard to control, so keeping things progressing at a level your fiance is comfortable with is very important. I also suspect there will be many probing questions coming your way in the coming days and weeks, so please answer honestly and thoughtfully.

A partner that is accepting and even participative is an absolute gem. You are very fortunate, many around here would be quite envious.

Tash :)

[Tanya C]

First of all I respect the fact that you did the honorable thing by letting her know before marriage. That took courage and it demonstrates that you have trust in her,
Secondly, congratulations for having such a terrific woman who would accept this part of you at a time in the relationship when she could more easily walk away if she had a problem with it.
As for all the cautionary comments thus far remember that anything in life has the potential to crash and burn. But that's life and you take your chances.

[kristen123]

True about the future life is unscripted lol we are taking it slow and she is asking a lot of questions and I'm answering very truthfully she asked me if we could shave our legs together tonight and we did but that's all for now lol

[AmberM]

You're very lucky to have someone that loves and accepts you and your inner woman. Have fun together, post your experiences and your photos.

[kristen123]

I know I'm extremely lucky to have such an understanding fiance she is my world and she is amazing :) and the cool thing is we wear the same size in a lot of stuff so we share clothes alot

[cindym5_04]

Congrats, Kristen!! It's really awesome that the person that you find to be the most special and important person in your life accepts you for you. I'm fortunate to have found the same type of situation, although I know FAR too many other cd's who have not. I also commend you on coming out to her prior to the wedding and finding out her feelings.

[Roberta Marie]

True about the future life is unscripted lol we are taking it slow and she is asking a lot of questions and I'm answering very truthfully she asked me if we could shave our legs together tonight and we did but that's all for now lol


WOW!! You just told her, and already you're shaving your legs together, and she's OK with sharing clothes. That is an amazing girl.

Grace,
Bobbi

[kristen123]

We are having a lot of fun with it she loves that I have a very feminine side and wants to learn a lot more about it :)

[Gerrijerry]

have fun and enjoy the moment.

[Derp]

congratz!!

[kristen123]

Thank you all for the congrats it feels amazing to have the wieght lifted off of me now I can totally be myself :)

[Angie G]

Congrats Kristen Just don't push it to hard or it could find a way to bite you in the a$$.:hugs:
Angie

[kristen123]

Thanks for all the good advice :) she is asking a lot of questions and I'm answering very truthfully and she says its helping a lot and she really starting to get comfortable with kristen :)

[kimdl93]

Congratulations! I do think you have to give her a chance to fully get her mind around the idea, but at the same time, why not enjoy her active participation. Keep the conversation rolling, and find out what she would enjoy to do with you while dressed.

[kristen123]

We are having a blast with it but at the same time keeping it in both of our comfort zones :)

[Rianna Humble]

Sounds like you took to heart the advice to listen to her feelings. Well done you and well done her for such a positive response.

[jacky83]

Congratulations. I also reaffirm the previous comments about going slow & maintaining open lines of communication. Being sensitive to her feelings is important.

[kristen123]

Most of the things we are doing are her ideas anyways lol :) but its really fun!!