Im not really sure where I fit in to crossdressing.

[Melissa Jill]

Ive never felt out of place as a boy, I have always felt right and stuff as a male. But recently, I have wanted to dress up and explore my feminine side.
But for some reason the thought of me dressing up as a female turns me on, and Im pretty sure normal crossdressers don't get those feelings of aroussal from crossdressing do they?

Im really confused as to where I fit in. Im happy as a male, but I feel I am too masculine. I am very closed off emotionally. For some reason I really want to have a completely different persona, dress up as a proper girly girl, watch some girly movies, have a good cry and have some galpals to go shopping with.

I just don't know where I fit in to all this crossdressing stuff, can someone help me please?

Also, I joined here ages ago but then left for some reason

[Sophie86]

But for some reason the thought of me dressing up as a female turns me on, and Im pretty sure normal crossdressers don't get those feelings of aroussal from crossdressing do they?

Different crossdressers experience it differently. Some become intensely aroused and crossdress just for that reason. Others do it because they identify more as female and are more at home presenting that way. I think there are a lot, though, who feel both of those things in different degrees at different times. It sounds like you fit somewhere in the middle.

[Alberta_Pat]

I think that you are feeling "normal", whatever that is.

We all go through different phases in our lives. I, like you, tend to be a "masculine" guy.

But, I do like the feel and look of "feminine garb".

Getting turned on by the clothing is often part of cross dressing. It is a taste of the "forbidden fruit".

Let yourself go, enjoy the moment, and have no regrets.

[Melissa Jill]

Ok thanks a lot.
I think it is the forbidden thing that I find arousing, as its different. Hopefully with time that will fade.
Though I don't have any close female friends anymore I can ask for help.
There was one who I used to be really close with a couple of years ago, but we kind of lost touch. Reckon it would be worth getting back in contact with her?

Also, Im 100% staight, but I seem to find men who crossdress well really attractive.

[Rianna Humble]

I just don't know where I fit in to all this crossdressing stuff, can someone help me please?

I think that where you fit in is that you cross-dress. If you asked 100 cross-dressers why they dress and where they fit in the spectrum of behaviour, you would probably get about 125 different answers. Everyone is an individual and how they experience their cross-dressing is not static.

Some cross-dressers do it for sexual arousal, others get no such feeling and yet others are in between. The third group may not dress in order to experience arousal, but they will sometimes get aroused by a particular garment or the first time they try on something new.

It is quite common for some MtF cross-dressers to feel resolutely male but to want to go the whole hog and become a real girly girl when dressed.

I know some people like to pigeon hole their type of cross-dressing and their emotions, and I guess that's fine if you want to be a pigeon :heehee:

I'm going to suggest something radical - how about you accept yourself for who you are, then have some fun with it?

[Starla]

There are as many motivations for crossdressing as there are crossdressers. As you allow yourself to explore, you will eventually settle on what works for you, what it means to you, and how it will be integrated into your life.

This forum is a good place to start. You couldn't deliberately assemble a more motley crew of girls; all have their stories to tell, their triumphs and failures to share, and lessons learned along the way. You will find common ground with some, while others' form of gender expression will leave you shaking your head. But, it's all good -- they're all finding themselves, and that's what you need to do.

Above all, don't overthink it, and don't take it too seriously. If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong. ;)

[Melissa Jill]

Ok cheers sweeties. It does sound like a lot of fun. I definetly need to investigate my sensitive side though I think I need to find a close galpal to help me, which will completely baffle them as Im normally such a manly man.
Also, seeing some of the pictures of other non-genetic ladies on here in male and female mode has made me more hopeful that I will be able to doll myself up successfully.
Thanks again girls!

[carhill2mn]

You sound just like a great many other CDs.

[Melissa Jill]

Im going to see my friend later in the week. We used to be really close, so hopefully she can help me with things like clothes shopping and makeup and being more feminine.
Also, is there anyway I can change my username on here? I think I have decided on a female name for myself, "Melissa" and would like to change my username to that (or related)

[Christy_M]

It sounds like you fit in with the rest of us. We all seem to have our unique lifestyle and as was mentioned before, we are all somewhere in this enormous spectrum. I, too, tend to be way too macho but I also like to feel pretty, even if that is only internal. I can´t explain and am deciding only recently to stop fighting it.

[Melissa Jill]

Yea, I want to be able to look at myself in a mirror and admire how pretty I am.
Clothes shopping has always bored me, men just wear the same thing pretty much, at least it looks like it. But women have such a vast selection to choose from. Ive always admired the different clothing styles that exist. In particular I love the prim fancy dresses and skirts.
I think this could help me a lot. Right now I have a lot of trouble interacting with women as they are so alien, but stepping into their shoes and living their life will be a real eye opener for me.

[charlie]

Hello Melissa!
Welcome to the forum and the wide exchange of ideas that come up here! When I first started dressing (eons ago), I dressed and got sexually charged just from looking at me in the clothes. That changed over time. Now I dress and just want to be the best looking woman that I can be. I have worked on my outfits, makeup and hair style. I like to get the best looking and pretty that I can and then dash out the door to where ever I was going. I just love being the sassy older woman out on the town now!

[Shelby]

Welcome Melissa. News Flash, you are normal and everything that you feel and experince is shared by others. Like you, I am a totally straight guy who has a pretty manly job, but I love dressing as it provides me with a softer side to my life. I love the feel of fem clothes and feel it offers me some serenity. I get turned on by dressing sometimes and even have to take steps to suppress it so as not look odd or make a mess of my girl clothes. As for a gg friend, choose carefully who you tell. Finding a friend who will help you shoud be cherished but telling the wrong person could really be bad news as otehr have found out. I hope to hear more from you.

Shelby

[Karren H]

Don't listen to them.... I don't think you fit in at all!! If you left once before it was for a valid reason and you would have been better off if you had not come back.... Crossdressing just overly complicates you life and ruins your relationships.... So run away and don't look back.... But if you do decide to not heed my warning then Welcome back!! Lol. And don't say I didn't warn you!!! :D

[Nicole Erin]

Too masculine to be a CD? Have you SEEN that thread, "male vs female pics"? Some of them look like Bubba Neanderthal in male mode but look pretty in femme mode.

Getting turned on by dressing? Since when is that a problem? Look up some of the CD videos on youtube where some Cd is doing provocative stuff on their videos. What do you think the filmers of themselves doing such things use the videos for?
A lot of CD and probably a lot of TS get turned on by their very own femme personna (more than what would admit) cause let's face it, pretty much any TG tries to emulate their ideal woman best they can.

Having a good cry at girlie movies? Just make sure no one sees, people get beaten up for stuff like that.

As there are so many subcategories of what it means to be CD or even TS, you don't need to worry about fitting some "mold"

[Cari]

It sounds like you fit in here :-)

Its a journey; indulge at your own pace and see where it takes you.
Doesnt sound like you are hurting anyone, so why not.

Do you really want two distinct personas ? I would guess in time the two sides will merge a bit and you end up with the best of both at least thats what happenned to me.

The aspect of forbidden fruit does go away; I still occasionally get turned on by the image in the mirror when I get it really right.

[Melissa Jill]

Thankyou all for your help. I am definetly going to pursue this, though I think I will hold off on telling my female friend until we've become reaquainted for a while. Ive looked at some of the before and after pictures of the ladies here and I am amazed at the transformation that is possible. It is both inspiring and intimidating. If I could make myself half as beautiful as you girls I would be very happy.
Again thankyou all your your advice, and I look forward to becoming part of this community. I think my new years resolution will be to have one brief outing as Melissa by the end of the year.

So watch out girls! Theres a new girl in town and her name is Melissa!

Edit:
Also, is there some kind of way to find out if there are any other girls in my area? So I can get help and advice for things like makeup and accessorizing.